I have a few indulgences that get my through the day. Some of these indulgences are blogs from people who read these postings. Or, my indulgences would be their blogs if they updated them regularly (and you KNOW who you are).
I found this. http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
You can't tell me you have never seen any of these folks in a Wal-Mart. In fact, now that I found this site, I see these folks every time I am in Wal-Mart. Just the other day I saw a man in there wearing only a fuzzy bathrobe and furry yellow slippers. I didn't have the nerve to take a picture, but I was tempted.
Enjoy!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
A Lasting First Impression
These last two weeks of the year, I have had my real estate agent hat on. To see if I could pick up a few quickie rental commissions and generate some future business, I advertised some of my company's rentals. The idea being that if they call me, I show them and the property management company does the rest.
So far it has been abysmal, as the number of people looking for a place to rent in North Central Mesa the last two weeks of December is less than four. And, those three have called me.
The last call I got was a beaut. Wanda wanted to know if I could check to see if the landlord was giving away "free rent" for two months. When I asked her what "free rent" meant, she explained apartment complexes, in order to lure in potential tenants, are waiving the first two months' rent payments if the tenant will pretty please pick them.
I asked Wanda, "If you move in and don't pay, how will the landlord pay the mortgage? Aren't you worried about the landlord going into foreclosure if you aren't giving them rent money?"
"That's not my problem. If a landlord wants me they should be willing to match the free rent I can get at the apartment," she replied.
Of course, the major difference between the apartment complex and a single landlord, is the apartment complex works in volume--if one unit is vacant, they have 200 others to cover it. But, I didn't explain that to Wanda. I doubted she would care. I could almost guarantee if I told the landlord about this scenario, he would rather the place stay vacant a little bit longer.
So far it has been abysmal, as the number of people looking for a place to rent in North Central Mesa the last two weeks of December is less than four. And, those three have called me.
The last call I got was a beaut. Wanda wanted to know if I could check to see if the landlord was giving away "free rent" for two months. When I asked her what "free rent" meant, she explained apartment complexes, in order to lure in potential tenants, are waiving the first two months' rent payments if the tenant will pretty please pick them.
I asked Wanda, "If you move in and don't pay, how will the landlord pay the mortgage? Aren't you worried about the landlord going into foreclosure if you aren't giving them rent money?"
"That's not my problem. If a landlord wants me they should be willing to match the free rent I can get at the apartment," she replied.
Of course, the major difference between the apartment complex and a single landlord, is the apartment complex works in volume--if one unit is vacant, they have 200 others to cover it. But, I didn't explain that to Wanda. I doubted she would care. I could almost guarantee if I told the landlord about this scenario, he would rather the place stay vacant a little bit longer.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Springing Into Action
Dear Mrs. Spring,
This past week, I sung your praises for not finding me on Facebook. I so wish you might have heeded my psychic kudos. Though I am sure you have the best of intentions, it is in poor form to friend your landlord. I understand you are new to this whole renting thing, but this seems a bit obvious. Don't feel bad. You aren't the first. Or the fourth.
Please understand it is nothing personal. I do not want a personal relationship to cloud my judgement. I don't friend my husband's boss, the owners of the company I work for or others I have a strictly business relationship with. Perhaps when your lease is up we can discuss this. I do have three former tenants as Facebook friends, so it can happen.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
This past week, I sung your praises for not finding me on Facebook. I so wish you might have heeded my psychic kudos. Though I am sure you have the best of intentions, it is in poor form to friend your landlord. I understand you are new to this whole renting thing, but this seems a bit obvious. Don't feel bad. You aren't the first. Or the fourth.
Please understand it is nothing personal. I do not want a personal relationship to cloud my judgement. I don't friend my husband's boss, the owners of the company I work for or others I have a strictly business relationship with. Perhaps when your lease is up we can discuss this. I do have three former tenants as Facebook friends, so it can happen.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Things She'll Do For Love
I talked to Carolsue on Thursday morning. Hesitating, she said, "I spoke with Ms. Kathy. I hate to say this, but I think you could do worse."
She must have really hated to say that, because last I checked, Carolsue and I were of the same mind about Ms. Kathy. I figured she had given Carolsue one heck of a sob story so ironclad that even Carolsue had fallen for it. I still wasn't buying it.
Ms. Kathy did tell Carolsue what was causing all the financial conflict in her life. It wasn't the normal gambling/drugs/boyfriend. This is usually what I see when someone starts to fail out of the blue. And, Ms. Kathy is getting almost four times the rent every month in social security benefits. So, I jumped to conclusions.
Sadly, Ms. Kathy's situation isn't as simple as a drug addiction. It is much sadder. She has a 17 year old daughter from a previous marriage. For about a year, the daughter has been threatening to move in her with her father if Ms. Kathy didn't buy this, that and the other thing.
So, Ms. Kathy bought her a truck. The truck got impounded. Ms. Kathy paid to get the truck out of automobile jail. Then the daughter wanted something else. So, Ms. Kathy bought that too. And so it goes. Ms. Kathy even got a job to cover the additional expenses (meanwhile, the daughter did not). The last installment of this was a cell phone. Ms. Kathy didn't have the money for the rent, electric bill or anything else, but the daughter threatened to move out. Ms. Kathy tried her best to accomodate. The daughter left anyway.
Carolsue pointed out to Ms. Kathy that the daughter knew Ms. Kathy was behind on the rent, behind on the electricity, gas and other bills. Her daughter knew Ms. Kathy was driving a car with a leak in the gas tank, and yet, the daughter still blackmailed. Ms. Kathy paid because the price of her daughter moving was too great. And, yet she moved anyway.
I am upset about Ms. Kathy for many reasons. I naively ask how did a parent-child relationship get to this point? I was a belligerent teenager and my parents assure me Karma is real. I have it coming. But I can't imagine foregoing one's basic hierarchy of needs for a spoiled brat. I know it happens. I know the dynamics in my family are different than Ms. Kathy's. And I am sure my sweet little Polly will someday rebel--but I can't imagine giving in and buying my child a car instead of paying the rent.
The entire story makes a great deal of sense. Which makes me sadder. I agreed to a slight reprieve. But I am only willing to wait so long. I am letting Carolsue be the good cop and straighten things out with Ms. Kathy. If not, I am ok starting over with a new and paying tenant.
She must have really hated to say that, because last I checked, Carolsue and I were of the same mind about Ms. Kathy. I figured she had given Carolsue one heck of a sob story so ironclad that even Carolsue had fallen for it. I still wasn't buying it.
Ms. Kathy did tell Carolsue what was causing all the financial conflict in her life. It wasn't the normal gambling/drugs/boyfriend. This is usually what I see when someone starts to fail out of the blue. And, Ms. Kathy is getting almost four times the rent every month in social security benefits. So, I jumped to conclusions.
Sadly, Ms. Kathy's situation isn't as simple as a drug addiction. It is much sadder. She has a 17 year old daughter from a previous marriage. For about a year, the daughter has been threatening to move in her with her father if Ms. Kathy didn't buy this, that and the other thing.
So, Ms. Kathy bought her a truck. The truck got impounded. Ms. Kathy paid to get the truck out of automobile jail. Then the daughter wanted something else. So, Ms. Kathy bought that too. And so it goes. Ms. Kathy even got a job to cover the additional expenses (meanwhile, the daughter did not). The last installment of this was a cell phone. Ms. Kathy didn't have the money for the rent, electric bill or anything else, but the daughter threatened to move out. Ms. Kathy tried her best to accomodate. The daughter left anyway.
Carolsue pointed out to Ms. Kathy that the daughter knew Ms. Kathy was behind on the rent, behind on the electricity, gas and other bills. Her daughter knew Ms. Kathy was driving a car with a leak in the gas tank, and yet, the daughter still blackmailed. Ms. Kathy paid because the price of her daughter moving was too great. And, yet she moved anyway.
I am upset about Ms. Kathy for many reasons. I naively ask how did a parent-child relationship get to this point? I was a belligerent teenager and my parents assure me Karma is real. I have it coming. But I can't imagine foregoing one's basic hierarchy of needs for a spoiled brat. I know it happens. I know the dynamics in my family are different than Ms. Kathy's. And I am sure my sweet little Polly will someday rebel--but I can't imagine giving in and buying my child a car instead of paying the rent.
The entire story makes a great deal of sense. Which makes me sadder. I agreed to a slight reprieve. But I am only willing to wait so long. I am letting Carolsue be the good cop and straighten things out with Ms. Kathy. If not, I am ok starting over with a new and paying tenant.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Liars and Deadbeats and Thieves, Oh My!
I was at a crossroads with Ms. Kathy. She has a guaranteed income (widow's benefits) that will not go away for several years. But, her payday and my rent due date are two weeks apart. One might wonder why I just don't change the date of her rent. In the past, I have found that turns out to always be a disaster. Every time I have accommodated a tenant on the rental due date they fail. Every single time. So, I don't believe for a moment if her rent is due on the 15th of the month or the 3rd of the month it would make a shred of difference.
I am at a loss as to why she doesn't seem to care about paying the rent. For the first nine months of her lease, she was golden. Now it seems like it is an afterthought. I had been toying with kicking her out because this kind of situation only leads to trouble. I was sharing this with Carolsue on Wednesday when she dropped this bombshell on me. Ms. Kathy told Carolsue when she promised me she would pay on time this month she had no intention of doing so. It was in essence, lip service.
To her credit, Carolsue told Ms. Kathy she was no better than Ms. Kathy's predecessor: Mr. Smith. I suppose if Carolsue was going to fling one and only insult at Ms. Kathy that was the one to do. I am sorry I didn't get a chance to use that one. But now the damage is done. I tolerate those who are struggling. There are many of us who are struggling. But, I draw the line at thieves and liars. And Ms. Kathy admitted she was both.
As much as I tried, Carolsue flat-out refused to serve Ms. Kathy on Christmas Day. In her effort to deter me, Carolsue even cited some made-up Alabama law about it being illegal to serve someone on a religious holiday. Instead, Carolsue opted to do so on Dec. 26. No matter, it looks like I will soon be purging myself of a liar and a thief.
I am at a loss as to why she doesn't seem to care about paying the rent. For the first nine months of her lease, she was golden. Now it seems like it is an afterthought. I had been toying with kicking her out because this kind of situation only leads to trouble. I was sharing this with Carolsue on Wednesday when she dropped this bombshell on me. Ms. Kathy told Carolsue when she promised me she would pay on time this month she had no intention of doing so. It was in essence, lip service.
To her credit, Carolsue told Ms. Kathy she was no better than Ms. Kathy's predecessor: Mr. Smith. I suppose if Carolsue was going to fling one and only insult at Ms. Kathy that was the one to do. I am sorry I didn't get a chance to use that one. But now the damage is done. I tolerate those who are struggling. There are many of us who are struggling. But, I draw the line at thieves and liars. And Ms. Kathy admitted she was both.
As much as I tried, Carolsue flat-out refused to serve Ms. Kathy on Christmas Day. In her effort to deter me, Carolsue even cited some made-up Alabama law about it being illegal to serve someone on a religious holiday. Instead, Carolsue opted to do so on Dec. 26. No matter, it looks like I will soon be purging myself of a liar and a thief.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore But She Left One Heck of A Mess
There are few things that strike up a heated conversation with members of my family more than one of them deciding they are a better tenant or landlord than me. And, more to the point, any of them telling me about how it is always best to stick it to the greedy landlords.
I would like to go on record right now: I am pretty sure and almost postitive I was adopted. My "real" family is out there somewhere looking for me. These folks--even if they do share my name--do not reflect my opinion about a lot of things. In the interest of fairness, they would also agree I was adopted. And it is probably a great relief to them that there is some sort of logical explanation as to why I we don't see eye-to-eye.
I would also like to go on record: I have a very fun and attentive family. They are great. I love them. And, I really like them. If I had to end up on any doorstep, I am glad it was theirs.
However, Alice seems to have some opinions I just don't get. You see, Alice is moving in a few weeks to a new apartment. She asked me if I thought it was "worth" her cleaning up her mess on her way out the door.
"Yes. Yes I do." I replied.
"Well then, why do they charge a cleaning deposit then if they expect me to clean up after myself?"
Now, one could ask, why call me--a landlord--for the expressed purpose of asking such a question to begin with if Alice's real intention was to leave the place looking like a bombed out war-torn village? I suspect she was looking for permission to do what she was planning to do all along. But then, she should know better than to dial my phone.
There are those of you who would be proud that I held my tongue in the interest of family harmony. Christmas will be a lot nicer because of it. But, just in case Alice finds out about my blog some day, I want to pass this letter along:
Dear Alice,
Renting a home does not give you the right to be a pig. When you move in, you are asked to pay a modest sum for a cleaning deposit. This covers the cost of someone to come in wipe down the mirrors and vacuum the floors when you move out. Presumably these are the types of things one doesn't really have time to do when they are moving. Presumably they have taken care of the big things all along.
Your cleaning deposit does not cover the cost to scrub a year's worth of slime off your bathroom sink. It does not cover the cost to replace your flooring because you decided never to vacuum and now the carpets are matted and now there is more pet dander on the floor than carpet fiber. Nor does it give you the right to never clean your refrigerator.
Nor does paying a modest cleaning deposit give you the right to leave behind everything you decided you don't need ever again. Your landlord should not pay for its removal. We didn't want the 27 melted candles, the clothes that haven't fit you in six years or your old VHS tapes. We didn't ask you to buy a warehouse supply of vitamins and shove them to the back of your cabinet. It costs money and time to remove your garbage. You carted it in, take it out.
Additionally Alice, you must remember we landlords make you pay for this kind of thing. If you move into a home where the last tenant acted so inappropriately and the landlord had to spend extra to get a place ready when they shouldn't have to, the landlord is probably going to raise the rent. Or, raise the deposits. Yes Alice, you pay for the sins of the past renters.
And, don't think landlords don't talk! You will someday move to a place where the future landlord will call for references. Someone will pull up your file and have a few things to say. If you left behind ample evidence that you didn't clean up after your incontinent cat it will be duly noted. I am more likely to tell the truth to a landlord asking for a reference even when the truth hurts. It is the least I can do for a fellow investor.
Alice, landlords aren't rich. We don't really appreciate the damage people like you inflict upon your assets. We understand there is a certain amount of wear and tear that happens. But there is no reason to make it worse. Presumably we give you a reasonable place to live. Presumably we give you a safe environment. The least you can do is leave no trace you were there. A tenant who does that will get their deposits back. I promise.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
I would like to go on record right now: I am pretty sure and almost postitive I was adopted. My "real" family is out there somewhere looking for me. These folks--even if they do share my name--do not reflect my opinion about a lot of things. In the interest of fairness, they would also agree I was adopted. And it is probably a great relief to them that there is some sort of logical explanation as to why I we don't see eye-to-eye.
I would also like to go on record: I have a very fun and attentive family. They are great. I love them. And, I really like them. If I had to end up on any doorstep, I am glad it was theirs.
However, Alice seems to have some opinions I just don't get. You see, Alice is moving in a few weeks to a new apartment. She asked me if I thought it was "worth" her cleaning up her mess on her way out the door.
"Yes. Yes I do." I replied.
"Well then, why do they charge a cleaning deposit then if they expect me to clean up after myself?"
Now, one could ask, why call me--a landlord--for the expressed purpose of asking such a question to begin with if Alice's real intention was to leave the place looking like a bombed out war-torn village? I suspect she was looking for permission to do what she was planning to do all along. But then, she should know better than to dial my phone.
There are those of you who would be proud that I held my tongue in the interest of family harmony. Christmas will be a lot nicer because of it. But, just in case Alice finds out about my blog some day, I want to pass this letter along:
Dear Alice,
Renting a home does not give you the right to be a pig. When you move in, you are asked to pay a modest sum for a cleaning deposit. This covers the cost of someone to come in wipe down the mirrors and vacuum the floors when you move out. Presumably these are the types of things one doesn't really have time to do when they are moving. Presumably they have taken care of the big things all along.
Your cleaning deposit does not cover the cost to scrub a year's worth of slime off your bathroom sink. It does not cover the cost to replace your flooring because you decided never to vacuum and now the carpets are matted and now there is more pet dander on the floor than carpet fiber. Nor does it give you the right to never clean your refrigerator.
Nor does paying a modest cleaning deposit give you the right to leave behind everything you decided you don't need ever again. Your landlord should not pay for its removal. We didn't want the 27 melted candles, the clothes that haven't fit you in six years or your old VHS tapes. We didn't ask you to buy a warehouse supply of vitamins and shove them to the back of your cabinet. It costs money and time to remove your garbage. You carted it in, take it out.
Additionally Alice, you must remember we landlords make you pay for this kind of thing. If you move into a home where the last tenant acted so inappropriately and the landlord had to spend extra to get a place ready when they shouldn't have to, the landlord is probably going to raise the rent. Or, raise the deposits. Yes Alice, you pay for the sins of the past renters.
And, don't think landlords don't talk! You will someday move to a place where the future landlord will call for references. Someone will pull up your file and have a few things to say. If you left behind ample evidence that you didn't clean up after your incontinent cat it will be duly noted. I am more likely to tell the truth to a landlord asking for a reference even when the truth hurts. It is the least I can do for a fellow investor.
Alice, landlords aren't rich. We don't really appreciate the damage people like you inflict upon your assets. We understand there is a certain amount of wear and tear that happens. But there is no reason to make it worse. Presumably we give you a reasonable place to live. Presumably we give you a safe environment. The least you can do is leave no trace you were there. A tenant who does that will get their deposits back. I promise.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Monday, December 21, 2009
I am Sure They Are Just Lovely People
Ok, I admit it. I hold a grudge better than a cat abandoned by its owner for a week while the owner is on vacation. Case in point: I am still annoyed with the Springs for the shenanigans they pulled two months ago.
Why? Partially because I caved and accepted them after they broke my cardinal rules. Historically, it has never gone well when I have accepted tenants who can't follow the basic rules of engagement. And partially because I thought working professionals who pay their bills and act like responsible adults would never say something so stupid to a prospective landlord: "I can't give you a full deposit because my granddaughter's birthday is next week and I will be buying her a present."
I know, I know. Carolsue set them straight. They are fully aware they committed several faux pas. They would like to put those embarrassing moments behind them too. In the interest of fairness, in the past month they have been ideal tenants. I have gotten the rent on time. They only call Carolsue, instead of me, when they want to chat. And, thankfully, thus far Mrs. Spring has thought it prudent not to friend me on Facebook.
I even got a very sweet letter from Mrs. Spring with her on-time rent check. It said something along the lines of "Thank you for not thinking us complete buffoons. And by the way, we just love the house."
Well, I am glad they like the house. But, the jury is out on that whole buffoon thing.
Why? Partially because I caved and accepted them after they broke my cardinal rules. Historically, it has never gone well when I have accepted tenants who can't follow the basic rules of engagement. And partially because I thought working professionals who pay their bills and act like responsible adults would never say something so stupid to a prospective landlord: "I can't give you a full deposit because my granddaughter's birthday is next week and I will be buying her a present."
I know, I know. Carolsue set them straight. They are fully aware they committed several faux pas. They would like to put those embarrassing moments behind them too. In the interest of fairness, in the past month they have been ideal tenants. I have gotten the rent on time. They only call Carolsue, instead of me, when they want to chat. And, thankfully, thus far Mrs. Spring has thought it prudent not to friend me on Facebook.
I even got a very sweet letter from Mrs. Spring with her on-time rent check. It said something along the lines of "Thank you for not thinking us complete buffoons. And by the way, we just love the house."
Well, I am glad they like the house. But, the jury is out on that whole buffoon thing.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I am Only Dreaming of a White Christmas
There is a unusual aspect to what I do that never ceases to amaze me. I meet some interesting people by being a landlord 1,700 miles from my properties. I have met all sorts of folks from all sorts of backgrounds and all walks of life.
Most of those I have encountered have left me with nice warm fuzzy feelings that resonate after all this time. I have made some good friends. And, I have encountered a few whom I will just chalk up to learning experiences. But mostly, I have enjoyed those I have met--including a reader or two--on this wild landlord journey.
There is one woman I am currently in contact with who lives in Virginia. She and I came involved this summer because we had a mutual tenant in common. Some day, when the dust settles, the judge's gavel bangs down on the bench and the guilty are punished for their crimes, I will write about her and the tragic and bizarre circumstances that brought us to this point. But for now, I won't. There is an ongoing criminal investigation.
At any rate, this Virginia woman and I have been corresponding for about seven months. When she calls, it is always business. She has questions about this and that. Could I clarify something in an e-mail my tenant sent? Could I look at a picture of my rental home and identify which bedroom? Do I remember a certain date when a rent check came in? Do I happen to know where the tenants were working in December 2005? That kind of thing.
Saturday, however, she got personal. Out of the blue, I got this text: "20 inches and counting."
I sent her back this: "73 degrees today." and attached the following:
She responded with:
So I sent her a current picture of a portion of my garden:
Most of those I have encountered have left me with nice warm fuzzy feelings that resonate after all this time. I have made some good friends. And, I have encountered a few whom I will just chalk up to learning experiences. But mostly, I have enjoyed those I have met--including a reader or two--on this wild landlord journey.
There is one woman I am currently in contact with who lives in Virginia. She and I came involved this summer because we had a mutual tenant in common. Some day, when the dust settles, the judge's gavel bangs down on the bench and the guilty are punished for their crimes, I will write about her and the tragic and bizarre circumstances that brought us to this point. But for now, I won't. There is an ongoing criminal investigation.
At any rate, this Virginia woman and I have been corresponding for about seven months. When she calls, it is always business. She has questions about this and that. Could I clarify something in an e-mail my tenant sent? Could I look at a picture of my rental home and identify which bedroom? Do I remember a certain date when a rent check came in? Do I happen to know where the tenants were working in December 2005? That kind of thing.
Saturday, however, she got personal. Out of the blue, I got this text: "20 inches and counting."
I sent her back this: "73 degrees today." and attached the following:
She responded with:
So I sent her a current picture of a portion of my garden:
Friday, December 18, 2009
Oops! My Bad
We had the best vacation in years. Though Southern California isn't terribly exotic in my book, we were with my niece and her father and being around quality people and everyone having fun was really the point.
There was very little semblance of reality in our days away. I glanced at the newspaper headlines one day to see nothing in Congress had changed. The only piece of outside world news that caught my eye was that Boeing got the 787 to fly in its maiden voyage! I assure you that is wonderful news for all of us who count on Boeing to feed our families.
Needless to say, very little of my other duties and responsibilities were of concern to me. Which is why my guard was down.
While waiting at the bottom of Tarzan's Treehouse (formerly "Swiss Family Robinson's Treehouse" and by the way, Jane and Mrs. Robinson have the same interior designer--who knew?) for the rest of my family, a man snuck up and grabbed me from behind. He yelled, "boo!"
I jumped a mile and turned around to see who the prankster happened to be. The man, completely embarrassed at having grabbed the wrong person started babbling apologies at ten miles an hour. "I am so sorry, I thought you were someone else..." etc. However, it didn't matter. My brain hadn't clued in he was remorseful. My brain was on vacation.
This guy was the spitting image of Michael Smith ("Mr. Smith" to my long-time readers). He had the same ratty look on his face. The same glasses. The same height, build, coloring, overbite and bad haircut. While this guy was stammering his apology, I just stared at him blankly thinking, "Why the hell doesn't Michael Smith just go away. How in the world did he get here? Why can't he just leave me alone?"
Finally, I shot him the bitchy withered look I have been saving for the occasion and left him, in mid-"I'm so sorry" and walked away. It took me a few beats to realize it wasn't really Michael Smith and I had left my manners back at the treehouse.
Poor guy.
There was very little semblance of reality in our days away. I glanced at the newspaper headlines one day to see nothing in Congress had changed. The only piece of outside world news that caught my eye was that Boeing got the 787 to fly in its maiden voyage! I assure you that is wonderful news for all of us who count on Boeing to feed our families.
Needless to say, very little of my other duties and responsibilities were of concern to me. Which is why my guard was down.
While waiting at the bottom of Tarzan's Treehouse (formerly "Swiss Family Robinson's Treehouse" and by the way, Jane and Mrs. Robinson have the same interior designer--who knew?) for the rest of my family, a man snuck up and grabbed me from behind. He yelled, "boo!"
I jumped a mile and turned around to see who the prankster happened to be. The man, completely embarrassed at having grabbed the wrong person started babbling apologies at ten miles an hour. "I am so sorry, I thought you were someone else..." etc. However, it didn't matter. My brain hadn't clued in he was remorseful. My brain was on vacation.
This guy was the spitting image of Michael Smith ("Mr. Smith" to my long-time readers). He had the same ratty look on his face. The same glasses. The same height, build, coloring, overbite and bad haircut. While this guy was stammering his apology, I just stared at him blankly thinking, "Why the hell doesn't Michael Smith just go away. How in the world did he get here? Why can't he just leave me alone?"
Finally, I shot him the bitchy withered look I have been saving for the occasion and left him, in mid-"I'm so sorry" and walked away. It took me a few beats to realize it wasn't really Michael Smith and I had left my manners back at the treehouse.
Poor guy.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Off the Clock
For the next few days Marty Sunshine the kids and I are going to be in California hanging out at the house that Walt built.
While I am gone, I gave Carolsue a directive: tell Mr. Green NO to any stupid request he might have. I am not going to pay to water his garden. If Carolsue has to sweet talk Ms. Kathy I won't be around to hear Ms. Kathy quake in her shoes. And, Heaven help Mrs. Spring if she decides to buy her granddaughter a teddy bear instead of pay the rent. I won't be responsible for Carolsue's actions.
I also sent Legal Eagle a letter on Friday that I asked her to review for me. I am sure she will get to it while I am gone. No matter, the Alabama Attorney General's office and the Real Estate Commission can wait another week to hear my complaints against my former property management company.
I didn't give Biz any directions. She knows what to do. Pay the mortgages and make journal entries. Simple stuff.
I would like to think all will be quiet in Alabama while I am gone. It has been a really quiet month. Here's to no drama for the next few days.
All the best to you my readers!
While I am gone, I gave Carolsue a directive: tell Mr. Green NO to any stupid request he might have. I am not going to pay to water his garden. If Carolsue has to sweet talk Ms. Kathy I won't be around to hear Ms. Kathy quake in her shoes. And, Heaven help Mrs. Spring if she decides to buy her granddaughter a teddy bear instead of pay the rent. I won't be responsible for Carolsue's actions.
I also sent Legal Eagle a letter on Friday that I asked her to review for me. I am sure she will get to it while I am gone. No matter, the Alabama Attorney General's office and the Real Estate Commission can wait another week to hear my complaints against my former property management company.
I didn't give Biz any directions. She knows what to do. Pay the mortgages and make journal entries. Simple stuff.
I would like to think all will be quiet in Alabama while I am gone. It has been a really quiet month. Here's to no drama for the next few days.
All the best to you my readers!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
This Should Make Mr. Partner Happy
Dear Former Tenants Who Owe Me Money:
I am after you. Or I will be once I coordinate with my paraleagal pal, Carolsue. And, if I have already started the garnishment process with you, I am not done. I am not feeling very forgiving today. You owe. You pay.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
I am after you. Or I will be once I coordinate with my paraleagal pal, Carolsue. And, if I have already started the garnishment process with you, I am not done. I am not feeling very forgiving today. You owe. You pay.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Yay! There is Someone More Flighty Than Me
Currently, I am "helping" Bliz by paying the basic bills, while she goes and earns a real living for her family. However, I am not sure how much help I really am. For one thing, I forget about major creditors--like the power company. It turns out I owed them payment for five houses. Of course, had they sent me the bills to begin with I probably would have felt more of a compunction to pay them.
For another, I am lousy with the levels of organization necessary for bill paying. There are those who with a greater appreciation than I who thoroughly comprehend the intricacies of debits and credits. My mind is more of a "Hey Bliz! I paid this $20 to a guy who I think was named Mac. This was about six weeks ago. Could you make this journal entry for me?" and less, "Oh, now how do I correctly apply this payment?" Fortunately for me, Bliz is still handling the journal entry part of the accounting. Fortunately for her, she charges me by the hour.
On Tuesday I found someone just as artistic about bill paying as me. Mr. Hardy replaced my window in the Leeds house last month. On Tuesday I called him and said, "I think I owe you money."
He wasn't incensed that I hadn't paid him--the reaction the power company is giving me (did I mention if they had sent me the bills I would have paid them?). Instead he said, "You know what? My computer is down, how about if I just hold on to your number and call you back in a few weeks and you can pay me then?"
Yes, how about that? And may I add, only in the South.
Hopefully he is keeping better track about these things than I am. And hopefully his bookkeeper isn't charging him by the journal entry.
For another, I am lousy with the levels of organization necessary for bill paying. There are those who with a greater appreciation than I who thoroughly comprehend the intricacies of debits and credits. My mind is more of a "Hey Bliz! I paid this $20 to a guy who I think was named Mac. This was about six weeks ago. Could you make this journal entry for me?" and less, "Oh, now how do I correctly apply this payment?" Fortunately for me, Bliz is still handling the journal entry part of the accounting. Fortunately for her, she charges me by the hour.
On Tuesday I found someone just as artistic about bill paying as me. Mr. Hardy replaced my window in the Leeds house last month. On Tuesday I called him and said, "I think I owe you money."
He wasn't incensed that I hadn't paid him--the reaction the power company is giving me (did I mention if they had sent me the bills I would have paid them?). Instead he said, "You know what? My computer is down, how about if I just hold on to your number and call you back in a few weeks and you can pay me then?"
Yes, how about that? And may I add, only in the South.
Hopefully he is keeping better track about these things than I am. And hopefully his bookkeeper isn't charging him by the journal entry.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Random Bama
Ms. Kathy came through. Apparently there wasn't a cat fight, instead a Southern woman, ultra-polite conversation, that included gardening tips.
Thankfully, Carolsue went with the girl-friend approach this time, but she did ask Ms. Kathy why my children should forgo Christmas because Ms.Kathy didn't feel up to paying the rent. Carolsue also explained I wasn't a trust fund baby, and I wasn't running a charity. There were a few other shame comments, which will hopefully afford Ms. Kathy and I a better relationship in the long run.
________________________________________
Speaking of Ms. Kathy, she lives in Mr. Smith's former home. For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Smith, I certainly wish I could join you.
Essentially: he was my absolute worst tenant. He lived in my home for five months rent-free before I was able to get a court date. Then, he made me haul myself to Birmingham to get in front of a judge. Mr. Smith didn't show, so I won--which I would have anyway. At that point, he and his family moved directly across the street to his father-in-law's home--which is where he has been blissfully residing ever since.
Apparently he still doesn't have a job. He is still mooching off his once retired father-in-law, who has gone back to work. Mr. Smith's wife has also gotten a job and the Smith kids are in daycare instead of at home with the unemployed and unmotivated Mr. Smith.
The father-in-law, one of the original homeowners on this quiet patch of street, is now shunned by his neighbors and treated like a pariah. A very sad situation. He could kick them out, but that would probably mean alienating his daughter and grandchildren.
Now let's all take a moment to a thank whom or whatever you wish to thank that you aren't related to Mr. Smith.
_____________________________________________________
Mr. Green called Carolsue Friday. His dryer doesn't work and wants me to do something about it. When Carolsue finally got to the crux of the situation, it turns out Mr. Green felt that the issue was the 220 electrical outlet that suddenly stopped working after 20 years and not his ancient dryer that was the problem. And, would I please call the electrician immediately to take care of this?
Carolsue kindly explained that it would be best to make sure the plug worked before I called the electrician (and am not sure the electrician would be so charitable to take care of another one of my homes given I haven't paid him yet for the electrical fire at the Leeds house). Mr. Green and Carolsue went back and forth with this for several minutes before he opted to test out the plug and his dryer. He is supposed to call her back if it is really the outlet.
Note to Mr. Green, get a grip.
Thankfully, Carolsue went with the girl-friend approach this time, but she did ask Ms. Kathy why my children should forgo Christmas because Ms.Kathy didn't feel up to paying the rent. Carolsue also explained I wasn't a trust fund baby, and I wasn't running a charity. There were a few other shame comments, which will hopefully afford Ms. Kathy and I a better relationship in the long run.
________________________________________
Speaking of Ms. Kathy, she lives in Mr. Smith's former home. For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Smith, I certainly wish I could join you.
Essentially: he was my absolute worst tenant. He lived in my home for five months rent-free before I was able to get a court date. Then, he made me haul myself to Birmingham to get in front of a judge. Mr. Smith didn't show, so I won--which I would have anyway. At that point, he and his family moved directly across the street to his father-in-law's home--which is where he has been blissfully residing ever since.
Apparently he still doesn't have a job. He is still mooching off his once retired father-in-law, who has gone back to work. Mr. Smith's wife has also gotten a job and the Smith kids are in daycare instead of at home with the unemployed and unmotivated Mr. Smith.
The father-in-law, one of the original homeowners on this quiet patch of street, is now shunned by his neighbors and treated like a pariah. A very sad situation. He could kick them out, but that would probably mean alienating his daughter and grandchildren.
Now let's all take a moment to a thank whom or whatever you wish to thank that you aren't related to Mr. Smith.
_____________________________________________________
Mr. Green called Carolsue Friday. His dryer doesn't work and wants me to do something about it. When Carolsue finally got to the crux of the situation, it turns out Mr. Green felt that the issue was the 220 electrical outlet that suddenly stopped working after 20 years and not his ancient dryer that was the problem. And, would I please call the electrician immediately to take care of this?
Carolsue kindly explained that it would be best to make sure the plug worked before I called the electrician (and am not sure the electrician would be so charitable to take care of another one of my homes given I haven't paid him yet for the electrical fire at the Leeds house). Mr. Green and Carolsue went back and forth with this for several minutes before he opted to test out the plug and his dryer. He is supposed to call her back if it is really the outlet.
Note to Mr. Green, get a grip.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Cross Your Fingers
From what I understand, Ms. Kathy is supposed to pay the remaining October and all of November rent to me today. Just to be sure she and I were on the same page, I called her Wednesday, leaving a message, verifying this was the case.
Ms. Kathy decided the most prudent option when facing a landlord wanting money would be to text me. After all, why deal with me on the phone when a little old text would do. In her message she said she would deposit into my bank account most of her rent on Thursday and then deposit the remainder Friday. And, was that ok?
Because I figured I would be slightly more diplomatic texting her back instead of calling her, I did so. I let her know based on the state of our current relationship it probably would be best for her to keep up her end of the bargain and give me all the money at once. Just like we agreed to. I said I was uncomfortable with her changing the rules of engagement this far into the process.
What do you know! Ms. Kathy had cell minutes left. She called me immediately to broker the deal. The way I let it stand, she would still get in touch with Carolsue (something I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in doing), give her all the money she owes me on Dec. 3. She could not leave cash on Carolsue's doorstep. Nope. She had to meet in person.
I half-expected her to balk at seeing Carolsue. After all, I can't say I blame her. I had a back-up plan in place just in case, I was going to send her to Legal Eagle. Then, if I had to go to court for an eviction, Legal Eagle would be able to identify her to the judge.
To Ms. Kathy's credit, she never once mentioned the verbal torture Carolsue bestowed upon her. I did offer her a slight reprieve. Ms. Kathy can mail in December's rent--due on the 15th--as long as the check doesn't bounce.
Will Ms. Kathy come through today? I am not willing to take that bet. Logistically, I would think she should be able to do this. I know she gets her widow's benefits today. But, I am not believing anything until the money is in the bank.
Ms. Kathy decided the most prudent option when facing a landlord wanting money would be to text me. After all, why deal with me on the phone when a little old text would do. In her message she said she would deposit into my bank account most of her rent on Thursday and then deposit the remainder Friday. And, was that ok?
Because I figured I would be slightly more diplomatic texting her back instead of calling her, I did so. I let her know based on the state of our current relationship it probably would be best for her to keep up her end of the bargain and give me all the money at once. Just like we agreed to. I said I was uncomfortable with her changing the rules of engagement this far into the process.
What do you know! Ms. Kathy had cell minutes left. She called me immediately to broker the deal. The way I let it stand, she would still get in touch with Carolsue (something I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in doing), give her all the money she owes me on Dec. 3. She could not leave cash on Carolsue's doorstep. Nope. She had to meet in person.
I half-expected her to balk at seeing Carolsue. After all, I can't say I blame her. I had a back-up plan in place just in case, I was going to send her to Legal Eagle. Then, if I had to go to court for an eviction, Legal Eagle would be able to identify her to the judge.
To Ms. Kathy's credit, she never once mentioned the verbal torture Carolsue bestowed upon her. I did offer her a slight reprieve. Ms. Kathy can mail in December's rent--due on the 15th--as long as the check doesn't bounce.
Will Ms. Kathy come through today? I am not willing to take that bet. Logistically, I would think she should be able to do this. I know she gets her widow's benefits today. But, I am not believing anything until the money is in the bank.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Looking Forward
Marty Sunshine were out for our quiet Wednesday lunch when we ran into Mr. Partner. Being the good partners we are, I suggested a lunch meeting for the following Wednesday just to go over a few of the nitty gritty odds and ends. But, also to look at building a brighter future.
I found it interesting that Mr. Partner sees things the way I do. We made decisions last year based on our current situation. Those decisions directly affect some of the circumstances we have encountered this year: Mrs. 508, Mr. Richards, Ms. Betty.
Though we are older and wiser now, he agreed those were the right decisions at the time. I hope so. Mabye if I had held out for a better tenant for the 508 house we wouldn't have had so much drama. Or, maybe I would have had a meth lab. Maybe if I had waited for someone other than Ms. Betty my life would have been more peaceful. Or. maybe I would have had a burning oiled cross affixed to the driveway of the Leeds house.
My main contention for the next year is that it will be a year of rebuilding. Two summers ago we got a gift from a tenant who sold thier interests, giving us an influx of cash to get by. This past summer we lived through several changes but came out the better for it. I firmly believe our tenants right now are quality. I am even willing to work with Ms. Kathy, provided she wants to work with me.
We will probably have to make some difficult decisions in the near future. Actually, it will be Mr. Partner who has to make these difficult decisions. As I have been living with this for years, I know the obvious answers. We will probably have to figure out a way to get an influx of cash. Do we bring in another partner? Do we sell a home or two (provided the market will allow us to do so)? Do we ask a private investor for assistance? I have my thoughts. Marty and I have bandyied around a few ideas. Now it is time to get Mr. Partner on board.
Our little business is fledgling but far from sunk. I believe it is time to look at rebuilding and moving forward. I think we can. But it will be a long process.
I found it interesting that Mr. Partner sees things the way I do. We made decisions last year based on our current situation. Those decisions directly affect some of the circumstances we have encountered this year: Mrs. 508, Mr. Richards, Ms. Betty.
Though we are older and wiser now, he agreed those were the right decisions at the time. I hope so. Mabye if I had held out for a better tenant for the 508 house we wouldn't have had so much drama. Or, maybe I would have had a meth lab. Maybe if I had waited for someone other than Ms. Betty my life would have been more peaceful. Or. maybe I would have had a burning oiled cross affixed to the driveway of the Leeds house.
My main contention for the next year is that it will be a year of rebuilding. Two summers ago we got a gift from a tenant who sold thier interests, giving us an influx of cash to get by. This past summer we lived through several changes but came out the better for it. I firmly believe our tenants right now are quality. I am even willing to work with Ms. Kathy, provided she wants to work with me.
We will probably have to make some difficult decisions in the near future. Actually, it will be Mr. Partner who has to make these difficult decisions. As I have been living with this for years, I know the obvious answers. We will probably have to figure out a way to get an influx of cash. Do we bring in another partner? Do we sell a home or two (provided the market will allow us to do so)? Do we ask a private investor for assistance? I have my thoughts. Marty and I have bandyied around a few ideas. Now it is time to get Mr. Partner on board.
Our little business is fledgling but far from sunk. I believe it is time to look at rebuilding and moving forward. I think we can. But it will be a long process.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The One Where We Talked About Nothing
Marty Sunshine wanted to give Mr. Partner an update on Monday. "Can we tell him all the rents are in?" he asked.
"Yea, except I am waiting for a last installment from Ms. Kathy. And I know he ok'd helping her out, but I don't know if you really want to explain her payment plan or that I totally expect her to screw up December's rent. He tends to panic when I give him hypothetical scenarios."
"Ok, I will leave that part out. How about everyone else?" he asked.
"That sounds good. Except I am holding one rent until Friday, so you may not want to explain that. The reason was pretty personal. I am certain the check won't bounce, they had a family emergency."
"Never mind. I will just skip that part of the update. Can I tell him all bills are paid?"
"Sure! Except I got a bill for the electrician I haven't paid. But then you would have to explain the electrical fire. And I am expecting a bill from the window guy. Did you tell him about the window?" I asked.
"Forget it. What can I tell him?" he asked.
"Well, nothing is going on right now. Why not just tell him that?" I said.
Marty considered it for a moment and finally said, "I think I will just skip this week's update."
"Yea, except I am waiting for a last installment from Ms. Kathy. And I know he ok'd helping her out, but I don't know if you really want to explain her payment plan or that I totally expect her to screw up December's rent. He tends to panic when I give him hypothetical scenarios."
"Ok, I will leave that part out. How about everyone else?" he asked.
"That sounds good. Except I am holding one rent until Friday, so you may not want to explain that. The reason was pretty personal. I am certain the check won't bounce, they had a family emergency."
"Never mind. I will just skip that part of the update. Can I tell him all bills are paid?"
"Sure! Except I got a bill for the electrician I haven't paid. But then you would have to explain the electrical fire. And I am expecting a bill from the window guy. Did you tell him about the window?" I asked.
"Forget it. What can I tell him?" he asked.
"Well, nothing is going on right now. Why not just tell him that?" I said.
Marty considered it for a moment and finally said, "I think I will just skip this week's update."
Monday, November 23, 2009
Waxing Philosophic
"You know, you really don't want to criticize people who have purple hair. It's just not safe."
--Carolsue
--Carolsue
Sunday, November 22, 2009
For the Record
There was money in an envelope attached to Carolsue's door when she went outside on Saturday morning. No name, no explanation. And, because she wasn't expecting money from anyone else and it was the exact amount we were expecting, Carolsue decided it came from Ms. Kathy. I can live with that.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I Would Have Been In Tears Too
I have gotten so spoiled of late. And, I am grateful. Carolsue--bless her!--has been taking it upon herself to handle the stuff that makes me crazy. Namely tenants who can't manage money.
Friday, Carolsue was supposed to meet Ms. Kathy to collect part of my missing rent. So, she hauled herself across town, at the beginning of rush hour, to find out Ms. Kathy stood her up. None-too-pleased for this fool's errand, Carolsue found a pay phone and called Ms. Kathy.
When Carolsue finally got in touch with her, she found out Ms. Kathy decided she needed a car tire more than she needed to pay me. Though I am not privy to the particulars, I understand Carolsue's rant lasted so long that she had to deposit more than a dollar into the phone so she could finish chewing Ms. Kathy out. Ms. Kathy didn't hang up on Carolsue, but instead listened intently to what Carolsue thought of her, her mother and her lineage. Carolsue also told her to start packing, because I was having none of this--though I didn't know it at the time.
Apparently Ms. Kathy called back in tears a couple hours later. She found someone willing to loan her the rest of the money she owes and would show up Saturday morning bright and early to deliver. Let's hope she does. Because there is no telling what I may find out I am willing to do.
Friday, Carolsue was supposed to meet Ms. Kathy to collect part of my missing rent. So, she hauled herself across town, at the beginning of rush hour, to find out Ms. Kathy stood her up. None-too-pleased for this fool's errand, Carolsue found a pay phone and called Ms. Kathy.
When Carolsue finally got in touch with her, she found out Ms. Kathy decided she needed a car tire more than she needed to pay me. Though I am not privy to the particulars, I understand Carolsue's rant lasted so long that she had to deposit more than a dollar into the phone so she could finish chewing Ms. Kathy out. Ms. Kathy didn't hang up on Carolsue, but instead listened intently to what Carolsue thought of her, her mother and her lineage. Carolsue also told her to start packing, because I was having none of this--though I didn't know it at the time.
Apparently Ms. Kathy called back in tears a couple hours later. She found someone willing to loan her the rest of the money she owes and would show up Saturday morning bright and early to deliver. Let's hope she does. Because there is no telling what I may find out I am willing to do.
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Trade-Off
We have had a lot of repairs of late. I believe my electrican is naming his first born after me. And, I got a postcard from my plumber and his wife on their world-cruise. They wanted to thank me for making it possible.
In the years we have been doing this, I think this is probably the first year where I have had consistant repairs. I understand that once in a while there might be a bee hive in your wall (ok, I don't understand...), and I get that once in a while a flood takes over a basement, but right now I don't think there is a home I own where something hasn't been fixed of late.
Marty Sunshine and I were discussing this. The first few years we did this I rarely talked to any type of trademen. Generally, a tenant might tell me they had a problem, but they handled it themselves. When we started discussing, it occurred to us, that the major difference is that we have better tenants now.
My best guess is better tenants expect a better quality product. Lower quality tenants don't tend to mention the broken window, electrical issue or gas leak, because they don't want me to notice the rent is late. Simply put, lower quality tenants have lower expectations. And, I would much rather pay for an electrican bill than a lawyer's bill.
In the years we have been doing this, I think this is probably the first year where I have had consistant repairs. I understand that once in a while there might be a bee hive in your wall (ok, I don't understand...), and I get that once in a while a flood takes over a basement, but right now I don't think there is a home I own where something hasn't been fixed of late.
Marty Sunshine and I were discussing this. The first few years we did this I rarely talked to any type of trademen. Generally, a tenant might tell me they had a problem, but they handled it themselves. When we started discussing, it occurred to us, that the major difference is that we have better tenants now.
My best guess is better tenants expect a better quality product. Lower quality tenants don't tend to mention the broken window, electrical issue or gas leak, because they don't want me to notice the rent is late. Simply put, lower quality tenants have lower expectations. And, I would much rather pay for an electrican bill than a lawyer's bill.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Don't Try This At Home
One of my tenants is having a bit of an issue. She has been renting from me for more than a year.
Ms. Jane was doing just fine. Everything was going swimmingly until a few months ago when she bounced a check. From what I understand, she took a check from her daughter, paid bills on it and her daughter's check bounced, thus causing a lot of chaos in Ms. Jane's life.
As soon as her rent check bounced and before I even knew, she sent me an e-mail and called me letting me know this happened. However, she apparently had bounced several checks. From what I understand, she ran up more than $1,000 in bank fees alone.
Though things are ok with her and I, I spoke with her yesterday. She has not caught up since she had this fiasco. And, to make matters worse, she thought she could do a payday loan to just take care of what she owed, get caught up with her bills and then just pay back the payday loan. So, she went online, put in a bunch of personal information about her life, and then had a change of heart. She couldn't do it. She didn't take out the payday loan.
However, the payday loan people didn't see it that way. They took money out of her bank account, signed her up for a variety of online programs that she (and I) have never heard of and have debited her account. Now sadly she is overdrawn again.
I suggested she contact the Alabama Attorney General's Office to see if she could recoup some of her losses. She warned me never to do a payday loan and told me to tell everyone I knew to do the same. No problem!
Ms. Jane was doing just fine. Everything was going swimmingly until a few months ago when she bounced a check. From what I understand, she took a check from her daughter, paid bills on it and her daughter's check bounced, thus causing a lot of chaos in Ms. Jane's life.
As soon as her rent check bounced and before I even knew, she sent me an e-mail and called me letting me know this happened. However, she apparently had bounced several checks. From what I understand, she ran up more than $1,000 in bank fees alone.
Though things are ok with her and I, I spoke with her yesterday. She has not caught up since she had this fiasco. And, to make matters worse, she thought she could do a payday loan to just take care of what she owed, get caught up with her bills and then just pay back the payday loan. So, she went online, put in a bunch of personal information about her life, and then had a change of heart. She couldn't do it. She didn't take out the payday loan.
However, the payday loan people didn't see it that way. They took money out of her bank account, signed her up for a variety of online programs that she (and I) have never heard of and have debited her account. Now sadly she is overdrawn again.
I suggested she contact the Alabama Attorney General's Office to see if she could recoup some of her losses. She warned me never to do a payday loan and told me to tell everyone I knew to do the same. No problem!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
At This Rate, I Could Drive Over and Do It Myself
Stop me if you have heard this before: EVERYTHING MOVES SLOWER IN THE SOUTH.
You would think--even if nobody is making this window any more, which apparently nobody is--it would be a simple process of making a frame, cutting some glass and slapping the finished product on to the house in Leeds. For whatever reason, this is not the case. How long would you think it would take to get a window replaced? A week? Two weeks? Nope. 45 days.
Of course this handy-dandy notice comes via Carolsue whose window guy turned out to be better than my two window guys. He actually gave Carolsue a quote. I am still waiting for the first company to call me when they arrive at the property and I am waiting for the second company to call me with a quote.
You would think--even if nobody is making this window any more, which apparently nobody is--it would be a simple process of making a frame, cutting some glass and slapping the finished product on to the house in Leeds. For whatever reason, this is not the case. How long would you think it would take to get a window replaced? A week? Two weeks? Nope. 45 days.
Of course this handy-dandy notice comes via Carolsue whose window guy turned out to be better than my two window guys. He actually gave Carolsue a quote. I am still waiting for the first company to call me when they arrive at the property and I am waiting for the second company to call me with a quote.
Monday, November 16, 2009
An Early Thanksgiving
All my homes are currently rented, with my biggest issue right now being I need to find a window for the home in Leeds. Thankfully, Carolsue took it upon herself to see if she could have better luck with a glass company than I (thank you!). As I write this, I am crossing my fingers this minor issue will be resolved soon.
Although everything is rented, there are still ups and downs. I have tenants between jobs, which puts me on my toes that there might be changes on the horizon. Ms. Kathy is struggling right now--also keeping me on alert. Mr. Partner and I are working on a few long-term things. But, none of these are instant issues. And, it is a really nice feeling. I don't foresee any of my tenants as deadbeats at this very time. That might change tomorrow. But there is no reason to borrow trouble.
At any rate, I have a wonderful peace about how things are going as of today--one I haven't felt in a while. And, I am grateful for a lull in the excitement.
Although everything is rented, there are still ups and downs. I have tenants between jobs, which puts me on my toes that there might be changes on the horizon. Ms. Kathy is struggling right now--also keeping me on alert. Mr. Partner and I are working on a few long-term things. But, none of these are instant issues. And, it is a really nice feeling. I don't foresee any of my tenants as deadbeats at this very time. That might change tomorrow. But there is no reason to borrow trouble.
At any rate, I have a wonderful peace about how things are going as of today--one I haven't felt in a while. And, I am grateful for a lull in the excitement.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
And Yes, His Name Really is Chip
Ms. Betty left me a broken window. Mrs. Spring wants the window fixed. She apparently is a bit fussy about having the neighbors and cold air coming in at all hours of the night. At one point, her husband offered to fix it. Mrs. Spring, who apparently has some experience with her husband's handyman abilities declined--which is too bad, because it might have happened faster.
Though broken windows aren't something I am terribly familiar with, I have replaced had one or two during my time as a home owner and landlord. All of these windows resided in Arizona. In Arizona, getting a broken window fixed is simple. I call Chip, my glass guy. He comes out, fixes the window. I pay him. We part friends.
When I started this process in Alabama, I figured I would find a Chip-like person who could provide me with a moderate level of service. I am really not terribly particular. As long as they can replace the window, we will probably get along.
I started looking on Monday. First I sent an e-mail to my main contacts over there saying, "Anyone know where I can find someone who can replace a window?" Sadly, nobody did. I now know why.
I then started randomly calling until I found someone who answered the phone. The guy I talked to only handed car windows. But, he sent me to a window company he thought might do the trick. When I called this fabulous company, the woman I talked to didn't understand me and I was having a hard time with her thick drawl. Eventually I understood her to say someone would be going out to the house and they would call me later that day to give me a quote. I heard nothing.
On Thursday, I called another company I found. I got the exact spiel from the person who answered the phone. Except, this time I did get a call a few hours later from Daniel, who said he was on his way to the Leeds house. And, would I be meeting him there? Once we got everything straight (I am in Phoenix Arizona, not Phenix City Alabama) he told me no problem! He would call me when he got there. True to his word, once he arrived, we chatted again. This time he told me he would call me back with a quote. I have heard nothing.
Mrs. Spring is moving in this weekend. And the window isn't fixed. I would feel much worse about it if she hadn't held my lease hostage for a week. I have already been in contact with her, explaining it just isn't done. But it will be. Even if I have to send Chip out there to do it himself.
Though broken windows aren't something I am terribly familiar with, I have replaced had one or two during my time as a home owner and landlord. All of these windows resided in Arizona. In Arizona, getting a broken window fixed is simple. I call Chip, my glass guy. He comes out, fixes the window. I pay him. We part friends.
When I started this process in Alabama, I figured I would find a Chip-like person who could provide me with a moderate level of service. I am really not terribly particular. As long as they can replace the window, we will probably get along.
I started looking on Monday. First I sent an e-mail to my main contacts over there saying, "Anyone know where I can find someone who can replace a window?" Sadly, nobody did. I now know why.
I then started randomly calling until I found someone who answered the phone. The guy I talked to only handed car windows. But, he sent me to a window company he thought might do the trick. When I called this fabulous company, the woman I talked to didn't understand me and I was having a hard time with her thick drawl. Eventually I understood her to say someone would be going out to the house and they would call me later that day to give me a quote. I heard nothing.
On Thursday, I called another company I found. I got the exact spiel from the person who answered the phone. Except, this time I did get a call a few hours later from Daniel, who said he was on his way to the Leeds house. And, would I be meeting him there? Once we got everything straight (I am in Phoenix Arizona, not Phenix City Alabama) he told me no problem! He would call me when he got there. True to his word, once he arrived, we chatted again. This time he told me he would call me back with a quote. I have heard nothing.
Mrs. Spring is moving in this weekend. And the window isn't fixed. I would feel much worse about it if she hadn't held my lease hostage for a week. I have already been in contact with her, explaining it just isn't done. But it will be. Even if I have to send Chip out there to do it himself.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Shades of Green
In the past few weeks, my new tenants, the Greens, have peppered Carolsue with phone calls. These calls range from inane to trivial.
The first time they called, they wanted to know if Carolsue or I had a key to the home. When Carolsue confirmed, yes, we did, they were surprised! "Why?" they asked. And, why indeed would the landlord have a key to their home? And, is this really a problem when the landlord is 1700 miles away?
Also, Mr. Green recently called Carolsue, asking her to bring over a can of popcorn spray so he could take care of a small patch on the ceiling. And, by the way, the bathroom sink is stopped up.
When I heard about this, I told Carolsue Mr. Green could go to the hardware store, get his own personal can of popcorn spray, fax me the receipt and I would be happy to reimburse the $6.99 if it was so important to him. But, I saw no reason for her to drive over on her own time for such a silly errand. After all, it is not a good idea to set a precedent with having Carolsue run errands for a tenant.
That's when Mrs. Green got involved. Yes, the sink was stopped up--and thank you for calling the plumber--but there was absolutely no way they were going to send me a receipt for the popcorn spray. And oh my! She was horribly embarrassed that her husband would be so petty to ask for something so minor.
Also during that call, Mrs. Green started in with Carolsue, explaining how her elderly mother--who is living with them--thinks I am a cheapskate because I had the downstairs potty replaced (it was cracked and leaking) and I didn't replace the upstairs one. Momma wanted Mrs. Green to call me immediately and demand I replace the toilet. Instead, Mrs. Green went to the local hardware store, bought a new seat and Momma now thinks I replaced the entire toilet.
And finally, a few days after this call, Mrs. Green called Carolsue. Could she have my bank account number so she could deposit the rent in my account? She didn't want it to be late. Of course rent isn't due for a few more weeks. Carolsue gently explained that she could just put a stamp on the envelope and send it to me. It would be ok.
Yep, I think I am going to like the Greens.
The first time they called, they wanted to know if Carolsue or I had a key to the home. When Carolsue confirmed, yes, we did, they were surprised! "Why?" they asked. And, why indeed would the landlord have a key to their home? And, is this really a problem when the landlord is 1700 miles away?
Also, Mr. Green recently called Carolsue, asking her to bring over a can of popcorn spray so he could take care of a small patch on the ceiling. And, by the way, the bathroom sink is stopped up.
When I heard about this, I told Carolsue Mr. Green could go to the hardware store, get his own personal can of popcorn spray, fax me the receipt and I would be happy to reimburse the $6.99 if it was so important to him. But, I saw no reason for her to drive over on her own time for such a silly errand. After all, it is not a good idea to set a precedent with having Carolsue run errands for a tenant.
That's when Mrs. Green got involved. Yes, the sink was stopped up--and thank you for calling the plumber--but there was absolutely no way they were going to send me a receipt for the popcorn spray. And oh my! She was horribly embarrassed that her husband would be so petty to ask for something so minor.
Also during that call, Mrs. Green started in with Carolsue, explaining how her elderly mother--who is living with them--thinks I am a cheapskate because I had the downstairs potty replaced (it was cracked and leaking) and I didn't replace the upstairs one. Momma wanted Mrs. Green to call me immediately and demand I replace the toilet. Instead, Mrs. Green went to the local hardware store, bought a new seat and Momma now thinks I replaced the entire toilet.
And finally, a few days after this call, Mrs. Green called Carolsue. Could she have my bank account number so she could deposit the rent in my account? She didn't want it to be late. Of course rent isn't due for a few more weeks. Carolsue gently explained that she could just put a stamp on the envelope and send it to me. It would be ok.
Yep, I think I am going to like the Greens.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Guido Sue
I gave Ms. Kathy until Tuesday morning to call me with a solution to her situation. I told her specifically, if she didn't call, I would assume we weren't working together anymore. Though I am no Ms. Kathy, it seemed to me that was a pretty simple directive.
Meanwhile, I talked to Carolsue and told her if I didn't hear from Ms. Kathy, I would let Carolsue know and she could serve her. Truthfully, I did not want a vacant home around the holidays. Even if Ms. Kathy left right away. And, if she left it reasonable clean and Carolsue had nothing better to do than spit-shine it in no time, it would probably sit vacant until at least January.
So, when I called Carolsue at 1 p.m. my time on Tuesday to give her the go-ahead, she said, "I just walked in the door. There is money in your account now."
Apparently, Carolsue had as much of an expectation of Ms. Kathy calling as I did. So, she took it upon herself to call Ms. Kathy. Carolsue told her she was on her way to Ms. Kathy's house to serve her or pick up money. And, which did Ms. Kathy prefer?
Carolsue also gave Ms. Kathy one of her patented tongue lashings she reserves for the most foolish of my tenants. Though I don't know if it will sink in, hopefully Ms. Kathy will get it together. Because right now all my homes are occupied. And it is a very nice feeling.
Meanwhile, I talked to Carolsue and told her if I didn't hear from Ms. Kathy, I would let Carolsue know and she could serve her. Truthfully, I did not want a vacant home around the holidays. Even if Ms. Kathy left right away. And, if she left it reasonable clean and Carolsue had nothing better to do than spit-shine it in no time, it would probably sit vacant until at least January.
So, when I called Carolsue at 1 p.m. my time on Tuesday to give her the go-ahead, she said, "I just walked in the door. There is money in your account now."
Apparently, Carolsue had as much of an expectation of Ms. Kathy calling as I did. So, she took it upon herself to call Ms. Kathy. Carolsue told her she was on her way to Ms. Kathy's house to serve her or pick up money. And, which did Ms. Kathy prefer?
Carolsue also gave Ms. Kathy one of her patented tongue lashings she reserves for the most foolish of my tenants. Though I don't know if it will sink in, hopefully Ms. Kathy will get it together. Because right now all my homes are occupied. And it is a very nice feeling.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The End is Near
There are some basic rules in life. These aren't things that any institution of higher learning will offer you. My own children, who have very little structure to their education, could even pass this test: be nice to others, play by the rules, eat your veggies and don't annoy your landlord to the point where she decides to kick you out.
Pretty darn simple, don't you think?
Ms. Kathy lost every once of good will she had with me on Monday. You see, Ms. Kathy and I had rent drama in September. Everything worked out ok, but a simple call saying rent was going to be sent a week late might have gone far to ensure I didn't get all twitchy.
But she didn't. She made me chase her down. Then, she got a tongue lashing from Carolsue. I would think that alone would make anyone shape up. I know it scares me.
In October, Ms. Kathy called me on the day rent was due and asked for an extension. You see, she is a widow and is on social security. So, would it be a problem to pay a couple week's late when her check arrived? Additionally, she assured me she had gotten a part-time job so there shouldn't be any problems in the future.
Sadly, Ms. Kathy didn't send her check until Saturday--many days after she promised it. I only found this out because I called her and said, "Where's the rent you promised?"
Sunday I sent her an abrupt, yet polite, e-mail. I told her I would appreciate the same courtesy returned that I have extended her up until this point. I have been happy to work with her, but I would not be made a fool. If she says she is mailing the rent on a certain date, then that is what I am going with: her word. I also thanked her for sending the rent check and asked her if the next one would be on time.
She wrote me saying she just paid the electric out of her rent money so my rent check is going to bounce. Also, the reason she was late was because she needed to go to the dentist, her daughter's car had been impounded and other bills that aren't my problem. She ended it with, "I don't know what to do."
She didn't know what to do???
After my voice mail to her, explaining that she missed the part of my e-mail where I said I wouldn't be made a fool, I didn't expect to hear from her. But she surprised me and called anyway.
I give her props for being brave enough to talk to me. I wasn't very nice in my voice mail and when I got on the phone with her my mouth was in over-drive. I told her I too am a mother. I have gone with a tooth ache so my kids could have a roof over their head. I told her there is no reason to pay for electricity if there was no place to use it and it wouldn't be fun to live in her car. I also told her I didn't relish evicting her, but I have even kicked out a mother with a three-week old baby so I could do a widow at Thanksgiving (I didn't tell her that I suspect there is a special place in hell for me for evicting the baby, but I digress...).
I didn't offer her solutions. This isn't my problem. But I recommended she figure it out and let me know how that check can be current. Sell something? Payroll advancement? A relative? I find people are more innovative when their backs are to a wall. And, my tolerance for BS is at an all-time low.
And, now I am going to pray I don't have to evict a widow on to the street during the holidays. But it looks like I probably will.
********************************************************
And on another note, Happy Birthday to my dear friend and lawyer in training. Law school will be over before you know it.
Pretty darn simple, don't you think?
Ms. Kathy lost every once of good will she had with me on Monday. You see, Ms. Kathy and I had rent drama in September. Everything worked out ok, but a simple call saying rent was going to be sent a week late might have gone far to ensure I didn't get all twitchy.
But she didn't. She made me chase her down. Then, she got a tongue lashing from Carolsue. I would think that alone would make anyone shape up. I know it scares me.
In October, Ms. Kathy called me on the day rent was due and asked for an extension. You see, she is a widow and is on social security. So, would it be a problem to pay a couple week's late when her check arrived? Additionally, she assured me she had gotten a part-time job so there shouldn't be any problems in the future.
Sadly, Ms. Kathy didn't send her check until Saturday--many days after she promised it. I only found this out because I called her and said, "Where's the rent you promised?"
Sunday I sent her an abrupt, yet polite, e-mail. I told her I would appreciate the same courtesy returned that I have extended her up until this point. I have been happy to work with her, but I would not be made a fool. If she says she is mailing the rent on a certain date, then that is what I am going with: her word. I also thanked her for sending the rent check and asked her if the next one would be on time.
She wrote me saying she just paid the electric out of her rent money so my rent check is going to bounce. Also, the reason she was late was because she needed to go to the dentist, her daughter's car had been impounded and other bills that aren't my problem. She ended it with, "I don't know what to do."
She didn't know what to do???
After my voice mail to her, explaining that she missed the part of my e-mail where I said I wouldn't be made a fool, I didn't expect to hear from her. But she surprised me and called anyway.
I give her props for being brave enough to talk to me. I wasn't very nice in my voice mail and when I got on the phone with her my mouth was in over-drive. I told her I too am a mother. I have gone with a tooth ache so my kids could have a roof over their head. I told her there is no reason to pay for electricity if there was no place to use it and it wouldn't be fun to live in her car. I also told her I didn't relish evicting her, but I have even kicked out a mother with a three-week old baby so I could do a widow at Thanksgiving (I didn't tell her that I suspect there is a special place in hell for me for evicting the baby, but I digress...).
I didn't offer her solutions. This isn't my problem. But I recommended she figure it out and let me know how that check can be current. Sell something? Payroll advancement? A relative? I find people are more innovative when their backs are to a wall. And, my tolerance for BS is at an all-time low.
And, now I am going to pray I don't have to evict a widow on to the street during the holidays. But it looks like I probably will.
********************************************************
And on another note, Happy Birthday to my dear friend and lawyer in training. Law school will be over before you know it.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
A Little Ray of Sunshine
I had barely hung up with Artie on Monday morning when the phone rang before 8 a.m. Again.
This time it was my tenant, Ms. Angie. She called to tell me she was a grandmother! Her daughter had a baby girl. And, she was sending me a photo to my phone. I could recieve pictures on my phone? Right?
Angie was darn near giddy. And she wanted to share her news with me, her landlord.
For the record, the baby is adorable.
This time it was my tenant, Ms. Angie. She called to tell me she was a grandmother! Her daughter had a baby girl. And, she was sending me a photo to my phone. I could recieve pictures on my phone? Right?
Angie was darn near giddy. And she wanted to share her news with me, her landlord.
For the record, the baby is adorable.
Friday, November 06, 2009
A Happy Ending
So Mark and Jean are renting out thier home in Phoenix. They would be here, living in their home had life not taken some turns. Mark has been currently deployed to Arkansas, and isn't sure where he will be going after that. Jean and their daughter are hanging out with him. They have been there two years thus far.
While they have been away, I have been coordinating renters for them. They had one for six months. That family moved out. They had another for two months. That family moved out too. Then they had a third who have been graciously hanging out, keeping the place spit-shined (I drive by) for a year now.
Last month Jean sent me an e-mail. Her current tenants filed bankruptcy. "That isn't a big deal is it?" she asked.
Well yes. It can be. But it doesn't have to be. I immediately e-mailed her her and said "CALL ME!" The subtext was, "Do I have a horror story for you."
There is a big difference between owning a gazillion homes with a partner and owning one you weren't planning on moving out of in the first place. I didn't exactly want to give Jean my horror story, but I wanted her to be prepared. And in doing so, I told her all I know.
Bankruptcy laws are federal, not state-by-state or on a case-by-case basis. If a tenant opts to file bankruptcy on their landlord they can do so. But don't expect the landlord to be all that excited. And, a landlord can petition the court to ask your tenants to leave sooner than later (though Howie the Hack never got around to it--they left on their own instead). But, if the bankruptcy takes six months before the hearing and you do nothing or the court doesn't care, the tenats stay six months rent-free before they give up the house.
I also told Jean, the best case scenario is the tenants kept paying rent. After all, if they have a bankruptcy, they aren't going to rent a home as nice as theirs for a very loooong time. So, it is in the tenants' best interests to pay for where they live.
Monday night I got a text from Jean. She got December's rent. It was music to their ears, as they had no idea what they would do if the tenants didn't pay. Mark has a top-secret clearance that will go away if he has a foreclosure or short sale on his record. And, they aren't in a position to carry the extra mortgage for more than a month or two.
I wish my bankruptcy folks had been half as honorable. But, at least they left. Otherwise they would have stayed from June to November rent free.
While they have been away, I have been coordinating renters for them. They had one for six months. That family moved out. They had another for two months. That family moved out too. Then they had a third who have been graciously hanging out, keeping the place spit-shined (I drive by) for a year now.
Last month Jean sent me an e-mail. Her current tenants filed bankruptcy. "That isn't a big deal is it?" she asked.
Well yes. It can be. But it doesn't have to be. I immediately e-mailed her her and said "CALL ME!" The subtext was, "Do I have a horror story for you."
There is a big difference between owning a gazillion homes with a partner and owning one you weren't planning on moving out of in the first place. I didn't exactly want to give Jean my horror story, but I wanted her to be prepared. And in doing so, I told her all I know.
Bankruptcy laws are federal, not state-by-state or on a case-by-case basis. If a tenant opts to file bankruptcy on their landlord they can do so. But don't expect the landlord to be all that excited. And, a landlord can petition the court to ask your tenants to leave sooner than later (though Howie the Hack never got around to it--they left on their own instead). But, if the bankruptcy takes six months before the hearing and you do nothing or the court doesn't care, the tenats stay six months rent-free before they give up the house.
I also told Jean, the best case scenario is the tenants kept paying rent. After all, if they have a bankruptcy, they aren't going to rent a home as nice as theirs for a very loooong time. So, it is in the tenants' best interests to pay for where they live.
Monday night I got a text from Jean. She got December's rent. It was music to their ears, as they had no idea what they would do if the tenants didn't pay. Mark has a top-secret clearance that will go away if he has a foreclosure or short sale on his record. And, they aren't in a position to carry the extra mortgage for more than a month or two.
I wish my bankruptcy folks had been half as honorable. But, at least they left. Otherwise they would have stayed from June to November rent free.
Ineptitude Exhausts Me
I really thought I kicked the nap-a-day habit I started three weeks ago when I got sick. I hadn't taken a nap since Tuesday! I was doing just fine, wondering if there was some sort of reward, like a gold star, one might obtain when they are awake for a total of 8 hours at a time two days in a row. Sadly, I didn't earn my chip.
It wasn't my fabulous lunch with a dear friend today that wore me out, or my mother coming over to babysit that taxed my energy levels. Oh no. It was the Springs.
When I relayed my latest incident to Carolsue she said, "You know, sometimes I think, 'bless their heart, they had a run of bad luck'. But with these two, I am now thinking 'bless their hearts, they are just morons'."
You see, I got the lease back from Mrs. Spring. I went to print it out, sign my name on the signature page so she could get the utilities turned on when I found out she sent me every page of the lease, except the signature page. Now, it might just be me, but if I am trying to rent a house--and even if I am a renter virgin--I would still know that I need to send the second party the signature page of a contract. And, if I could send every page except the signature page, I might rightly assume the other party would think I was an idiot.
Instead of calling Mrs. Spring an idiot, I wrote her back, telling her to please resend the signature page. Until I got it, we didn't have a lease. And, I was ok with that. I was already envisioning less annoying people living in this home.
To her credit, Mrs. Spring sent over a document lighting quick. However, she sent me the signature page from her rental application. You know, the document I look at before I approve them. It isn't really like you can confuse the two pieces of paper. One says "Please include a photo ID with this APPLICATION." The other just has a place for a LANDLORD to sign. An honest mistake, I am sure.
When I opened up her newest document, I was on the phone with Carolsue. When I told her Mrs. Spring flubbed this up, Carolsue said, "Send the e-mail to me. Don't write her back. I doubt you would say anything tactful at this point."
And this would be a problem why?
I told Carolsue these clowns had until 8 a.m. Friday morning to send me ONE MEASLY PIECE OF PAPER WITH THEIR SIGNATURES or all bets are off. I was putting an ad in the paper and they could spend Christmas in the 700 square foot falling down trailer. A just reward for this level of ineptitude.
Then I went upstairs and crawled under the covers.
It wasn't my fabulous lunch with a dear friend today that wore me out, or my mother coming over to babysit that taxed my energy levels. Oh no. It was the Springs.
When I relayed my latest incident to Carolsue she said, "You know, sometimes I think, 'bless their heart, they had a run of bad luck'. But with these two, I am now thinking 'bless their hearts, they are just morons'."
You see, I got the lease back from Mrs. Spring. I went to print it out, sign my name on the signature page so she could get the utilities turned on when I found out she sent me every page of the lease, except the signature page. Now, it might just be me, but if I am trying to rent a house--and even if I am a renter virgin--I would still know that I need to send the second party the signature page of a contract. And, if I could send every page except the signature page, I might rightly assume the other party would think I was an idiot.
Instead of calling Mrs. Spring an idiot, I wrote her back, telling her to please resend the signature page. Until I got it, we didn't have a lease. And, I was ok with that. I was already envisioning less annoying people living in this home.
To her credit, Mrs. Spring sent over a document lighting quick. However, she sent me the signature page from her rental application. You know, the document I look at before I approve them. It isn't really like you can confuse the two pieces of paper. One says "Please include a photo ID with this APPLICATION." The other just has a place for a LANDLORD to sign. An honest mistake, I am sure.
When I opened up her newest document, I was on the phone with Carolsue. When I told her Mrs. Spring flubbed this up, Carolsue said, "Send the e-mail to me. Don't write her back. I doubt you would say anything tactful at this point."
And this would be a problem why?
I told Carolsue these clowns had until 8 a.m. Friday morning to send me ONE MEASLY PIECE OF PAPER WITH THEIR SIGNATURES or all bets are off. I was putting an ad in the paper and they could spend Christmas in the 700 square foot falling down trailer. A just reward for this level of ineptitude.
Then I went upstairs and crawled under the covers.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Ms. Candy's Bad Weekend
On Friday, I found out Artie and Candy bounced the rent check. Oh dear. At first, I called Candy. She hasn't set up her voice mail just yet. So, it was on to Artie. Actually, Carolsue called Artie, because she has a Birmingham number. Artie called me back in no time flat.
Artie acted floored. Which is usually the reaction I hear--whether legit or not. I was skeptical. As Candy wrote the check, Artie assured me knew nothing about this and he would find out what was going on and call me in an hour.
Forty-nine minutes later, Artie called. "Ms. Landlord? Let me put Ms. Candy on the phone with you." Before I could even say, "ok," Candy was on the phone. Meekly she told me she would make this right. What did they need to do? When I talked to Candy she sounded like she wanted to be anywhere but on the phone with me or dealing with Artie. This was not the way she was intending to start her weekend.
When she and I were done, I hung up, figuring there was a 50/50 chance this would be resolved quickly like she said it would. Not five seconds later, Artie called back. "Ms. Landlord?"
"Please call me by my first name." I said.
"No ma'am. I have done you wrong and we aren't square right now. I will do no such thing. I owe you money." I was guessing at that moment, the odds of this being rectified just shot up significantly. Artie went on to tell me this would not happen again. I had his word.
On Saturday, the bank wasn't open, so I gave them until 11 a.m. Monday to deposit the money in my account--complete with a late fee. I was intending to have them served at work at noon if they didn't come through. At 7:45, Artie called, the money was in my account. And, he assured me, this was a one-time problem.
Artie acted floored. Which is usually the reaction I hear--whether legit or not. I was skeptical. As Candy wrote the check, Artie assured me knew nothing about this and he would find out what was going on and call me in an hour.
Forty-nine minutes later, Artie called. "Ms. Landlord? Let me put Ms. Candy on the phone with you." Before I could even say, "ok," Candy was on the phone. Meekly she told me she would make this right. What did they need to do? When I talked to Candy she sounded like she wanted to be anywhere but on the phone with me or dealing with Artie. This was not the way she was intending to start her weekend.
When she and I were done, I hung up, figuring there was a 50/50 chance this would be resolved quickly like she said it would. Not five seconds later, Artie called back. "Ms. Landlord?"
"Please call me by my first name." I said.
"No ma'am. I have done you wrong and we aren't square right now. I will do no such thing. I owe you money." I was guessing at that moment, the odds of this being rectified just shot up significantly. Artie went on to tell me this would not happen again. I had his word.
On Saturday, the bank wasn't open, so I gave them until 11 a.m. Monday to deposit the money in my account--complete with a late fee. I was intending to have them served at work at noon if they didn't come through. At 7:45, Artie called, the money was in my account. And, he assured me, this was a one-time problem.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Stick a Fork in Me
I am burned out on the Springs. When I woke up Tuesday, I was mad at myself for giving in to these folks. And though they may turn out all right, the fact is I have violated my basic rules as a business owner and landlord: never, ever, ever work with clowns. Ever.
Sadly, I recognize the desperation in this decision. We weren't getting a lot of traffic. The holidays are coming. The neighbors are crazy. Even in Leeds, where the level of sophistication is significantly lower than many other more cosmopolitan areas, like say, Hooterville, it is still hard to rent out a house under these circumstances.
The reason I was open to them to begin with was because they sounded employed, responsible and mature (and for the most part, they still do). Most likely the Springs will stay for a few years, put down roots and leave me alone for the duration of their lease. They won't care about the weekly meetings of the redneck mafia or the people with the rusted out junked out cars in their front yard.
All Mrs. Spring wants is a home where her grandchildren can come visit. The house in Leeds is at least one and a half, if not twice, the size of her trailer. To her, it is her Buckingham Palace.
But I still am hating myself for giving in. I know better. I was lamenting this to Carolsue on Tuesday, and also pointing out the Springs haven't turned in their lease. And, couldn't the very act of not turning in the lease could be construed as a voidable contract?
As a way of getting me off the phone, Carolsue decided to call Mrs. Spring and remind her that we weren't going any further until I had a lease, and it might be in her best interest to send it. NOW. Meanwhile I decided to start returning voice mails from my ad last weekend.
I am really glad I did. I have found a few people who might fit the bill a bit better. One woman knew exactly where the home was. She had deposit money and rent money. When could she move in? Another man had his landlord die and now the estate was selling the home. He grew up in the area. He was also interested. And, they were willing to pay more for rent than the Springs.
At that point, I started hoping the Springs would just blow off the lease. The grass was greener and I didn't already hate these possible prospective tenants. And, even if they didn't take the place, it reminded me the perfect tenant is just around the corner. Even in Leeds. But, even if the Springs ended up performing, I have learned my lesson: never, ever indulge clowns.
Around 5 p.m. Carolsue called me to break my euphoria. Mr. Spring had driven the 40 miles into town for the expressed purpose of bringing the lease to Mrs. Spring for them both to sign. However, he "forgot" to bring the lease with him. So, they needed me to resend it. It was on Mrs. Spring's other e-mail on her home computer. "You know she has a g-mail account right?" I asked Carolsue. "She could just pull up the e-mail from anywhere." Of course, this was really Mrs. Spring's way of saying they were just getting to it. She assured Carolsue they would be faxing it over immediately.
I was crestfallen Mrs. Spring had called needing a new copy of the lease. I am sure Mr. Spring was even more crestfallen.
I still haven't received the lease. And, if I don't have it this morning, I am done.
Sadly, I recognize the desperation in this decision. We weren't getting a lot of traffic. The holidays are coming. The neighbors are crazy. Even in Leeds, where the level of sophistication is significantly lower than many other more cosmopolitan areas, like say, Hooterville, it is still hard to rent out a house under these circumstances.
The reason I was open to them to begin with was because they sounded employed, responsible and mature (and for the most part, they still do). Most likely the Springs will stay for a few years, put down roots and leave me alone for the duration of their lease. They won't care about the weekly meetings of the redneck mafia or the people with the rusted out junked out cars in their front yard.
All Mrs. Spring wants is a home where her grandchildren can come visit. The house in Leeds is at least one and a half, if not twice, the size of her trailer. To her, it is her Buckingham Palace.
But I still am hating myself for giving in. I know better. I was lamenting this to Carolsue on Tuesday, and also pointing out the Springs haven't turned in their lease. And, couldn't the very act of not turning in the lease could be construed as a voidable contract?
As a way of getting me off the phone, Carolsue decided to call Mrs. Spring and remind her that we weren't going any further until I had a lease, and it might be in her best interest to send it. NOW. Meanwhile I decided to start returning voice mails from my ad last weekend.
I am really glad I did. I have found a few people who might fit the bill a bit better. One woman knew exactly where the home was. She had deposit money and rent money. When could she move in? Another man had his landlord die and now the estate was selling the home. He grew up in the area. He was also interested. And, they were willing to pay more for rent than the Springs.
At that point, I started hoping the Springs would just blow off the lease. The grass was greener and I didn't already hate these possible prospective tenants. And, even if they didn't take the place, it reminded me the perfect tenant is just around the corner. Even in Leeds. But, even if the Springs ended up performing, I have learned my lesson: never, ever indulge clowns.
Around 5 p.m. Carolsue called me to break my euphoria. Mr. Spring had driven the 40 miles into town for the expressed purpose of bringing the lease to Mrs. Spring for them both to sign. However, he "forgot" to bring the lease with him. So, they needed me to resend it. It was on Mrs. Spring's other e-mail on her home computer. "You know she has a g-mail account right?" I asked Carolsue. "She could just pull up the e-mail from anywhere." Of course, this was really Mrs. Spring's way of saying they were just getting to it. She assured Carolsue they would be faxing it over immediately.
I was crestfallen Mrs. Spring had called needing a new copy of the lease. I am sure Mr. Spring was even more crestfallen.
I still haven't received the lease. And, if I don't have it this morning, I am done.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Renter Virgins
I am pretty much done with the Springs. They made Legal Eagle waste a bunch of time on Friday. They are bugging the heck out of Carolsue. They asked for concessions on the rent. They want the deposits broken down. There is nothing attractive about this. Anyone I have ever dealt with that fits this profile has caused me nothing but grief.
However Marty Sunshine and Carolsue are pulling rank. They both think the Springs rock. Or, perhaps they think the Springs are the best we are going to get for the Leeds home and let's not quibble about the annoying things when we have someone naive enough to want to live in that neighborhood. Either way, they both think the Springs are worth the hassle.
The main difference with the Springs and anyone else--and the only reason why I am even listening to Carolsue and Marty Sunshine is that the Springs aren't professional renters. In thier 50s, they haven't rented in 30 years. This is brand new territory. You need a deposit to rent a home? That's a new one for these folks. They really didn't know.
They are, as Carolsue dubbed, "Renter Virgins." They are acting like they are buying a home. Negotiating this. Negotiating that. They are quibbling about little things which only annoy me--the landlord.
I am at the point where I just don't care. Sign the lease. Don't sign the lease. Let me get on with my life. When I shared this with Carolsue, she offered to call Mrs. Spring and shame her.
Apparently she explained to Mrs. Spring how her husband embarrassed me with Legal Eagle by making her wait around an extra hour and a half. She also mentioned I pay Legal by the hour (which hopefully in this case I won't be billed for). She mentioned that they have already used up all their favors and coming back to me asking for the deposits broken down because, as Mrs. Spring wrote me, "I also have two young grandchildren with birthdays next weekend. I don't plan to neglect their birthdays" isn't a good way to start this relationship.
Carolsue apparently got it through Mrs. Spring's head--they are living on borrowed time. So, don't ask for anything else. Ever.
I am crossing my fingers Carolsue and Marty are right about this one. If the Springs rent, I don't want tons of stuff to write about down the road that involves these clowns. Because I am pretty burned out on any topic that involves the Leeds home.
However Marty Sunshine and Carolsue are pulling rank. They both think the Springs rock. Or, perhaps they think the Springs are the best we are going to get for the Leeds home and let's not quibble about the annoying things when we have someone naive enough to want to live in that neighborhood. Either way, they both think the Springs are worth the hassle.
The main difference with the Springs and anyone else--and the only reason why I am even listening to Carolsue and Marty Sunshine is that the Springs aren't professional renters. In thier 50s, they haven't rented in 30 years. This is brand new territory. You need a deposit to rent a home? That's a new one for these folks. They really didn't know.
They are, as Carolsue dubbed, "Renter Virgins." They are acting like they are buying a home. Negotiating this. Negotiating that. They are quibbling about little things which only annoy me--the landlord.
I am at the point where I just don't care. Sign the lease. Don't sign the lease. Let me get on with my life. When I shared this with Carolsue, she offered to call Mrs. Spring and shame her.
Apparently she explained to Mrs. Spring how her husband embarrassed me with Legal Eagle by making her wait around an extra hour and a half. She also mentioned I pay Legal by the hour (which hopefully in this case I won't be billed for). She mentioned that they have already used up all their favors and coming back to me asking for the deposits broken down because, as Mrs. Spring wrote me, "I also have two young grandchildren with birthdays next weekend. I don't plan to neglect their birthdays" isn't a good way to start this relationship.
Carolsue apparently got it through Mrs. Spring's head--they are living on borrowed time. So, don't ask for anything else. Ever.
I am crossing my fingers Carolsue and Marty are right about this one. If the Springs rent, I don't want tons of stuff to write about down the road that involves these clowns. Because I am pretty burned out on any topic that involves the Leeds home.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Nah... It Isn't Real
I think I am happy all my properties are in the United States. Or, at least I am happy I don't have anything to rent in the United Kingdom.
I got an e-mail from this fellow on Saturday. This is it--exactly as I received it:
I wrote him back, explaining that it would be a long commute for the good reverend. And, good luck in securing something.
However, I don't believe for a moment this is legitimate. I have seen way too many variations of this in the past year. I have seen British missionaries, British farmers, British insurance salesmen, British chefs, British nannies and British dog walkers. The pattern is always the same--a poorly written e-mail announcing their occupation and an urgency to move.
I have a hard time believing there are so many potential tenants in England with poor planning skills and even worse written communication skills. Even the people contacting me in Leeds Alabama aren't consistantly this bad.
My guess is if I had egged him on (and if I felt better, I might have), I would have found out he was going to send me a hot check for me to divy out between six other people. Generally when I get these e-mails I go along with it out of morbid curiosity. I used to think there was some misunderstanding between Leeds England and Leeds Alabama, US, but that has never been the case.
Perhaps the good reverend is really on the level? If so, the British masses before him who wrote similar e-mails have will made it difficult for this poor guy.
I got an e-mail from this fellow on Saturday. This is it--exactly as I received it:
Good day to you over there,i am Reverend Williams by name,i saw this unit been advertised on craigslist.com and am much more interested in renting it having read the details about it in the ad which really suites my taste.I will be signing a one year lease or more for the unit depending on how the area is conducive for my daughter and I,i will want to know the modalities in renting it and the actual price to pay per month ,i will be working with the Christian Centers in the city and will be living with my lovely daughter(Lowrie) whom is 12years old.I will be looking forward to hear from you as soon as possible as i will want to conclude the rental process before i arrive on the 31st of October.
Regards
Rev Williams
I wrote him back, explaining that it would be a long commute for the good reverend. And, good luck in securing something.
However, I don't believe for a moment this is legitimate. I have seen way too many variations of this in the past year. I have seen British missionaries, British farmers, British insurance salesmen, British chefs, British nannies and British dog walkers. The pattern is always the same--a poorly written e-mail announcing their occupation and an urgency to move.
I have a hard time believing there are so many potential tenants in England with poor planning skills and even worse written communication skills. Even the people contacting me in Leeds Alabama aren't consistantly this bad.
My guess is if I had egged him on (and if I felt better, I might have), I would have found out he was going to send me a hot check for me to divy out between six other people. Generally when I get these e-mails I go along with it out of morbid curiosity. I used to think there was some misunderstanding between Leeds England and Leeds Alabama, US, but that has never been the case.
Perhaps the good reverend is really on the level? If so, the British masses before him who wrote similar e-mails have will made it difficult for this poor guy.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
The Winter of My Discontent
I absolutely believe the most I will ever learn about a tenant is from the time they decide they want the home until they sign the lease. This has certainly been the case with the Springs.
When Mrs. Spring told me they wanted the home, I figured this would be such a simple process. She would fill out the application. She would fax me the application. She would put down a modest deposit to hold the home so I would stop advertising it. She would then fill out the lease, return it to me, bring me the rest of the security deposit and the first month's rent. At that point Carolsue would meet Mrs. Spring out at the home and hand her the keys. How hard could this be?
The big monkey wrench is that Mr. Spring wants to continue living in his 700 square foot broken down trailer 40 miles from the outskirts of Birmingham. He owns it free and clear. He really doesn't understand Mrs. Spring's obsessive need to move closer to her job, civilization and have a functioning home. After all, it is free.
This week I have witnessed the behind the scenes dynamics of this marriage. They originally were interested in the home. Then Mr. Spring called Carolsue saying they changed their mind. Then Mrs. Spring called me saying "we changed our minds again." I suspect in this case, "we" really is Mrs. Spring and Mr. Spring happens to enjoy being married.
Of course, it would help her case if Mrs. Spring was a bit more cooperative as well. On Friday morning, I hadn't received the application. Before I went out on my errand, I called her. Yes, she was going to send it in. However, she needed Mr. Spring's signature. She would be getting it at lunch. And, by the way, could she give a modest deposit to Legal Eagle so I would stop advertising? Of course, that would be fine. And remember, it has to be certified funds, not a personal check.
Mrs. Spring was thrilled. They could handle that. And, great! Then they could move in right? Um. No. I would need a lease--which comes after the application, which I hadn't received yet--the remainder of the security deposit and the rent. At that point they can have the keys.
"Oh." Mrs. Spring said, with disappointment resonating through the phone line. "I was hoping to move in this weekend. I might have to break the deposits down."
"I don't do that." I said.
"Oh. That might be a problem."
Yes, I can see that. In fact, I see several problems.
Though this issue hadn't been resolved, Mrs. Spring opted to help secure her chances by getting Legal Eagle a deposit to hold the home. While having lunch with Mr. Spring, she called Legal Eagle and asked for directions to Legal's office. She was then going to send Mr. Spring out to drop off this money. She assured Legal Eagle he would be there by 3 p.m. That worked out well. Legal Eagle was leaving at 3 p.m.
At 3 p.m. Mr. Spring called Legal Eagle's office and asked who he should make the check out to. Legal Eagle explained it had to be certified funds. I didn't tell her to say this, she knew.
At 3:30 Mr. Spring called asking for directions to Legal Eagle's office. Apparently he didn't understand the ones given to him earlier or threw the earlier directions out. According to Legal Eagle, he was under some sort of mistaken impression this lawyer was waiting for him while standing on a street corner waving a sign saying, "I am Legal Eagle."
At 4 p.m. Mrs. Spring called. Mr. Spring was on his way. Wanna bet Mr. Spring said he wasn't coming and Mrs. Spring changed his mind?
At 4:30, Legal Eagle had graciously waited an hour and a half longer than she should have. She was pulling out of her office parking lot when Mr. Spring called. He was in the area but couldn't find her office. "No problem. I am in my car. I can come to you," she offered. Mr. Spring stammered and made up some sort of lame excuse before dropping this bombshell: he hadn't bothered to get a money order or cashier's check. And, by the way, he wasn't as close as he thought to her office.
Legal Eagle told him, try again Monday. Bring certified funds, get it right and cross your fingers I still have the house available because this was unacceptable. I am guessing Mr. Spring isn't very good at exercising his passive-aggressive tendencies.
When she told me this I stammered, "You scared away a potential tenant!"
"Have you gotten the application yet?"
"Well, no," I replied.
"So you don't really have a potential tenant," She said. "And, he obviously doesn't want the house." She had me there.
After getting bawled out from Legal Eagle who wasted longer than necessary in the office waiting for this guy, he called Carolsue. Apparently he was unaware Carolsue knew anything about this. Carolsue told him she wasn't planning on showing the home this weekend, but if anyone came along, she would. So, if they want the place, it might be a good idea to step it up. The first part would be to turn in the application.
I did get the application late Friday. And, Carolsue got a call at 7:30 Saturday morning from Mrs. Spring. She was terribly sorry for all of this confusion. It is no reflection upon their competence and ability to rent the property. Would it be possible to drive the 40 miles into town and bring a cashier's check to Carolsue? Pretty please?
From what I understand, Mr. Spring came along as well, being metaphorically dragged by his ear. Poor guy. I am guessing Mr. Spring isn't having a very good weekend.
When Mrs. Spring told me they wanted the home, I figured this would be such a simple process. She would fill out the application. She would fax me the application. She would put down a modest deposit to hold the home so I would stop advertising it. She would then fill out the lease, return it to me, bring me the rest of the security deposit and the first month's rent. At that point Carolsue would meet Mrs. Spring out at the home and hand her the keys. How hard could this be?
The big monkey wrench is that Mr. Spring wants to continue living in his 700 square foot broken down trailer 40 miles from the outskirts of Birmingham. He owns it free and clear. He really doesn't understand Mrs. Spring's obsessive need to move closer to her job, civilization and have a functioning home. After all, it is free.
This week I have witnessed the behind the scenes dynamics of this marriage. They originally were interested in the home. Then Mr. Spring called Carolsue saying they changed their mind. Then Mrs. Spring called me saying "we changed our minds again." I suspect in this case, "we" really is Mrs. Spring and Mr. Spring happens to enjoy being married.
Of course, it would help her case if Mrs. Spring was a bit more cooperative as well. On Friday morning, I hadn't received the application. Before I went out on my errand, I called her. Yes, she was going to send it in. However, she needed Mr. Spring's signature. She would be getting it at lunch. And, by the way, could she give a modest deposit to Legal Eagle so I would stop advertising? Of course, that would be fine. And remember, it has to be certified funds, not a personal check.
Mrs. Spring was thrilled. They could handle that. And, great! Then they could move in right? Um. No. I would need a lease--which comes after the application, which I hadn't received yet--the remainder of the security deposit and the rent. At that point they can have the keys.
"Oh." Mrs. Spring said, with disappointment resonating through the phone line. "I was hoping to move in this weekend. I might have to break the deposits down."
"I don't do that." I said.
"Oh. That might be a problem."
Yes, I can see that. In fact, I see several problems.
Though this issue hadn't been resolved, Mrs. Spring opted to help secure her chances by getting Legal Eagle a deposit to hold the home. While having lunch with Mr. Spring, she called Legal Eagle and asked for directions to Legal's office. She was then going to send Mr. Spring out to drop off this money. She assured Legal Eagle he would be there by 3 p.m. That worked out well. Legal Eagle was leaving at 3 p.m.
At 3 p.m. Mr. Spring called Legal Eagle's office and asked who he should make the check out to. Legal Eagle explained it had to be certified funds. I didn't tell her to say this, she knew.
At 3:30 Mr. Spring called asking for directions to Legal Eagle's office. Apparently he didn't understand the ones given to him earlier or threw the earlier directions out. According to Legal Eagle, he was under some sort of mistaken impression this lawyer was waiting for him while standing on a street corner waving a sign saying, "I am Legal Eagle."
At 4 p.m. Mrs. Spring called. Mr. Spring was on his way. Wanna bet Mr. Spring said he wasn't coming and Mrs. Spring changed his mind?
At 4:30, Legal Eagle had graciously waited an hour and a half longer than she should have. She was pulling out of her office parking lot when Mr. Spring called. He was in the area but couldn't find her office. "No problem. I am in my car. I can come to you," she offered. Mr. Spring stammered and made up some sort of lame excuse before dropping this bombshell: he hadn't bothered to get a money order or cashier's check. And, by the way, he wasn't as close as he thought to her office.
Legal Eagle told him, try again Monday. Bring certified funds, get it right and cross your fingers I still have the house available because this was unacceptable. I am guessing Mr. Spring isn't very good at exercising his passive-aggressive tendencies.
When she told me this I stammered, "You scared away a potential tenant!"
"Have you gotten the application yet?"
"Well, no," I replied.
"So you don't really have a potential tenant," She said. "And, he obviously doesn't want the house." She had me there.
After getting bawled out from Legal Eagle who wasted longer than necessary in the office waiting for this guy, he called Carolsue. Apparently he was unaware Carolsue knew anything about this. Carolsue told him she wasn't planning on showing the home this weekend, but if anyone came along, she would. So, if they want the place, it might be a good idea to step it up. The first part would be to turn in the application.
I did get the application late Friday. And, Carolsue got a call at 7:30 Saturday morning from Mrs. Spring. She was terribly sorry for all of this confusion. It is no reflection upon their competence and ability to rent the property. Would it be possible to drive the 40 miles into town and bring a cashier's check to Carolsue? Pretty please?
From what I understand, Mr. Spring came along as well, being metaphorically dragged by his ear. Poor guy. I am guessing Mr. Spring isn't having a very good weekend.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
What I Learned This Week
Did you know, if a tenant dies in a landord's home and the body is not discovered for say, five days, a hazmat team will probably have to be deployed? And, did you know most homeowner's insurance policies have a clause covering hazmat clean up?
I'm just saying...
I'm just saying...
Friday, October 30, 2009
Leeds Update
It is too bad I already used "Hope Springs Eternal" as a title for a blog posting. Because that is really what this one should be named.
Thursday morning, Carolsue graciously waited until 8 a.m. to call me with news. Mr. Spring called her. They have changed their minds. Living in an 800 square foot trailer by the lake with an hour commute (each way) into Birmingham was just not going to work for Mrs. Spring any more. They wanted the house. Or at lease Mrs. Spring wants the house and talked Mr. Spring is going along with it because he doesn't want to hear about it for the rest of his life.
Of course, the only caveat they had was they wanted a rent reduction. I was prepared for that. Though I dislike this game before the application is filled out, in this case, it has already been put on the table by my side. And, I had already planned on reducing the rent anyway. Last week, I figured if I didn't find a tenant by the end of October, I would have to lower the rent anyway.
Mrs. Spring is supposed to fax me the application today. Of course, I won't stop advertising the home until after she has signed the lease and given Legal Eagle a deposit to hold the home. Until then, the home is up for grabs.
Thursday morning, Carolsue graciously waited until 8 a.m. to call me with news. Mr. Spring called her. They have changed their minds. Living in an 800 square foot trailer by the lake with an hour commute (each way) into Birmingham was just not going to work for Mrs. Spring any more. They wanted the house. Or at lease Mrs. Spring wants the house and talked Mr. Spring is going along with it because he doesn't want to hear about it for the rest of his life.
Of course, the only caveat they had was they wanted a rent reduction. I was prepared for that. Though I dislike this game before the application is filled out, in this case, it has already been put on the table by my side. And, I had already planned on reducing the rent anyway. Last week, I figured if I didn't find a tenant by the end of October, I would have to lower the rent anyway.
Mrs. Spring is supposed to fax me the application today. Of course, I won't stop advertising the home until after she has signed the lease and given Legal Eagle a deposit to hold the home. Until then, the home is up for grabs.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Ideally
In between my frequent naps and variety of over-the-counter health remedies of late, I have been toying with the issues around the Leeds house.
So far I have had three seriously interested parties. First I had Mr. Shanty who couldn't afford the joint and talked my ear off. Thus, turning me off to any potential wonderfulness he had long before I was willing to consider him as a tenant. There was Audrey the Pseudo-Criminal who, between Carolsue's wrath and my standard to have potential tenants show a bit of integrity, pretty much eliminated herself from the running--even if she still wanted the place. And, of course, there was the absolutely delightful Mrs. Spring who decided that living where she is currently for free is a much better deal than making rent payments to anyone--including me. It is really hard to compete with free.
Which brings me to my major dilemma: I still have a vacant home.
It has been a month since I started trolling for a tenant. And given the lack of potential tenants, I have a clear understanding of the problem. Nobody is willing to live on this particular street, in Leeds Alabama for what I am charging.
Now, a word about the Leeds home: it is a cute little cottage. It has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, newer carpet and hardwood floors, an indoor laundry, a huge carport/shed, a rather large fenced yard with a deck. The stove, hot water heater and heat pump are in decent condition. The roof doesn't leak. There are about a dozen homes on this quiet country road. And, if you can ignore the fact that one neighbor thinks breaking an entering is an ok hobby, another neighbor collects rusted metal junk and proudly displays it in his front yard and I suspect high-ranking members of informal social networks who thrive on bigotry happen to live down this country road, it is a pretty nice place to live.
It isn't just that I want the house rented. I want it rented to people who aren't going to call me month after month with some lame excuse because they aren't smart enough to solve their own problems. I am not missing the Betty's and I don't want The Bettys, Version 2.0. The Bettys burned me out on lame excuses.
I completely understand whomever rents this home must have a different level of sophistication, from say, my recently vacant homes in the suburbs (the Waterford and bankruptcy homes). But, just because the perfect Leeds tenant doesn't have a suburb mentality doesn't make this future ideal tenant any less quality. People with integrity come from all walks of life.
An ideal tenant doesn't mean one who pays top dollar. What I am looking or is someone who keeps their word. You know, someone who prefers to pay their bills and do what they say they are going to do. While I am making my list, I would also prefer someone who will live there for a few years and take reasonable care of the place. And, in this case, I need a tenant with character attributes to include someone overlooking some of the idiosyncrasies of the neighborhood.
Surely there is another ideal tenant for this home. Even in Leeds.
So far I have had three seriously interested parties. First I had Mr. Shanty who couldn't afford the joint and talked my ear off. Thus, turning me off to any potential wonderfulness he had long before I was willing to consider him as a tenant. There was Audrey the Pseudo-Criminal who, between Carolsue's wrath and my standard to have potential tenants show a bit of integrity, pretty much eliminated herself from the running--even if she still wanted the place. And, of course, there was the absolutely delightful Mrs. Spring who decided that living where she is currently for free is a much better deal than making rent payments to anyone--including me. It is really hard to compete with free.
Which brings me to my major dilemma: I still have a vacant home.
It has been a month since I started trolling for a tenant. And given the lack of potential tenants, I have a clear understanding of the problem. Nobody is willing to live on this particular street, in Leeds Alabama for what I am charging.
Now, a word about the Leeds home: it is a cute little cottage. It has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, newer carpet and hardwood floors, an indoor laundry, a huge carport/shed, a rather large fenced yard with a deck. The stove, hot water heater and heat pump are in decent condition. The roof doesn't leak. There are about a dozen homes on this quiet country road. And, if you can ignore the fact that one neighbor thinks breaking an entering is an ok hobby, another neighbor collects rusted metal junk and proudly displays it in his front yard and I suspect high-ranking members of informal social networks who thrive on bigotry happen to live down this country road, it is a pretty nice place to live.
It isn't just that I want the house rented. I want it rented to people who aren't going to call me month after month with some lame excuse because they aren't smart enough to solve their own problems. I am not missing the Betty's and I don't want The Bettys, Version 2.0. The Bettys burned me out on lame excuses.
I completely understand whomever rents this home must have a different level of sophistication, from say, my recently vacant homes in the suburbs (the Waterford and bankruptcy homes). But, just because the perfect Leeds tenant doesn't have a suburb mentality doesn't make this future ideal tenant any less quality. People with integrity come from all walks of life.
An ideal tenant doesn't mean one who pays top dollar. What I am looking or is someone who keeps their word. You know, someone who prefers to pay their bills and do what they say they are going to do. While I am making my list, I would also prefer someone who will live there for a few years and take reasonable care of the place. And, in this case, I need a tenant with character attributes to include someone overlooking some of the idiosyncrasies of the neighborhood.
Surely there is another ideal tenant for this home. Even in Leeds.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Seriously, He Thought I Manufactured This?!
If you just joined this saga, then allow me to give you a quick overview of Mrs. 508. Mrs. 508 was a tenant of mine who has an overly optimistic view of life. In addition to that, she seems to feel there isn't much that is her fault. The bad stuff around her happens because of circumstance, not choices.
When the 508s left, they trashed the house. And the insurance adjuster was none too happy to pay out the claim. In fact, they were so unhappy they went after Mrs. 508 for the damages.
Wednesday, I got a call from an adjuster who inherited the loss mitigation portion of this claim and he wanted to chat. You see, Mrs. 508 told him she wasn't living there when all these issues happened, and the damage was done after she moved out, and I knew about the damage and "agreed" to forgive her and (my favorite) it wasn't her fault. What I found incredulous was the adjuster was siding with her!
"Why?" I asked. "Why do you believe her? Do you really think I would make it up or that I would have the presense of mind to fly out there, trash my home, fly back to Arizona and then call in a claim?" Yes. Yes he did.
After the adjuster and I went through this a few times, with me explaining, if Mrs. 508 really wasn't living there, there was no sublease assignment, so she was still on the hook. I would never "agree" to forgive the damage. Despite his assessment, I really wasn't stupid. And I have an eye witness who took the keys from her on June 20 when the place was deemed a disaster--the same day the police were called.
None of this impressed Mr. Adjuster. What did impress him was when I played back the voice mail Mrs. 508 left me on June 22, admitting to the damages, offering me a few dollars. That got his attention.
After I played him the message he said with a different tone in his voice, "Um... Would you mind saving that voice mail a bit longer? I will get back with you." Oh, I think that would be a good idea.
When the 508s left, they trashed the house. And the insurance adjuster was none too happy to pay out the claim. In fact, they were so unhappy they went after Mrs. 508 for the damages.
Wednesday, I got a call from an adjuster who inherited the loss mitigation portion of this claim and he wanted to chat. You see, Mrs. 508 told him she wasn't living there when all these issues happened, and the damage was done after she moved out, and I knew about the damage and "agreed" to forgive her and (my favorite) it wasn't her fault. What I found incredulous was the adjuster was siding with her!
"Why?" I asked. "Why do you believe her? Do you really think I would make it up or that I would have the presense of mind to fly out there, trash my home, fly back to Arizona and then call in a claim?" Yes. Yes he did.
After the adjuster and I went through this a few times, with me explaining, if Mrs. 508 really wasn't living there, there was no sublease assignment, so she was still on the hook. I would never "agree" to forgive the damage. Despite his assessment, I really wasn't stupid. And I have an eye witness who took the keys from her on June 20 when the place was deemed a disaster--the same day the police were called.
None of this impressed Mr. Adjuster. What did impress him was when I played back the voice mail Mrs. 508 left me on June 22, admitting to the damages, offering me a few dollars. That got his attention.
After I played him the message he said with a different tone in his voice, "Um... Would you mind saving that voice mail a bit longer? I will get back with you." Oh, I think that would be a good idea.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Hope Spings Etenal
Sunday morning my phone rang. "You still got that house in Leeds I seen in the paper?" The caller asked. Of course. As the ad was running THAT Sunday, what are the odds I still have that house in Leeds for rent?
I gave Mr. Caller directions. Sadly, "Ashville" as in "Ashville Road" was too many syllables for this guy. As the conversation was wrapping up, he asked me to hold on while he quieted down what sounded like a pack of dogs.
I heard him say, "Shut up before I put a cap in your hides." Presumably he said this to the animals because then all was quiet. Thankfully I didn't hear any gunshots. Back to me, he asked, "Do I need a deposit?" Yes. Yes you do. And I told him there was a pet deposit as well. "I don't got no pets." He replied.
Not three seconds after I hung up with Mr. Caller, Ms. Spring called. She said all the right things and even talked with a 12th grade vocabulary. However, she was perplexed about why this house was still available after three weeks. "I am looking for someone who is the right fit." I explained, I will take someone with poor credit, but that doesn't mean I will take just anyone. People with good character can have credit issues. People with good credit can have character issues.
As we chatted a bit more, she asked for Carolsue's number just to verify when Carolsue would be showing up today. Talking with Mrs. Spring gave me hope for all humanity, Leeds and a possible tenant. Oh did I mention? Ms. Spring owns a dishwasher!
A few minutes later, I phoned Carolsue, letting her know Ms. Spring was calling. "I talked to her already." Carolsue said. "She wanted to know why the house was still vacant when you will take someone with poor credit. I told her it was the applicant pool you were choosing from."
Apparently Ms. Spring felt better hearing that from a second source. If that doesn't sway her, perhaps Mr. Caller will show up at the same time and that will convince her.
I gave Mr. Caller directions. Sadly, "Ashville" as in "Ashville Road" was too many syllables for this guy. As the conversation was wrapping up, he asked me to hold on while he quieted down what sounded like a pack of dogs.
I heard him say, "Shut up before I put a cap in your hides." Presumably he said this to the animals because then all was quiet. Thankfully I didn't hear any gunshots. Back to me, he asked, "Do I need a deposit?" Yes. Yes you do. And I told him there was a pet deposit as well. "I don't got no pets." He replied.
Not three seconds after I hung up with Mr. Caller, Ms. Spring called. She said all the right things and even talked with a 12th grade vocabulary. However, she was perplexed about why this house was still available after three weeks. "I am looking for someone who is the right fit." I explained, I will take someone with poor credit, but that doesn't mean I will take just anyone. People with good character can have credit issues. People with good credit can have character issues.
As we chatted a bit more, she asked for Carolsue's number just to verify when Carolsue would be showing up today. Talking with Mrs. Spring gave me hope for all humanity, Leeds and a possible tenant. Oh did I mention? Ms. Spring owns a dishwasher!
A few minutes later, I phoned Carolsue, letting her know Ms. Spring was calling. "I talked to her already." Carolsue said. "She wanted to know why the house was still vacant when you will take someone with poor credit. I told her it was the applicant pool you were choosing from."
Apparently Ms. Spring felt better hearing that from a second source. If that doesn't sway her, perhaps Mr. Caller will show up at the same time and that will convince her.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A New Species of Crazy
Last week, Audrey and Carolsue were to meet up at the Leeds house. Because of circumstances beyond any one's control, they didn't. And, when they spoke again last week, Carolsue, wanting to accommodate, agreed to meet Audrey at the Leeds home yesterday for her own personal showing. Carolsue promised nobody else would have an opportunity to view the home until after Audrey had first dibs.
Saturday afternoon Audrey stood Carolsue up. After an hour, the only people to make their way into my fabulous Leeds home to greet Carolsue were the neighbors. In fact, the neighbors were extremely friendly. So friendly, that they told Carolsue how they broke in through the window last week when Carolsue hadn't shown and then let Audrey into the house! And, wasn't that quite neighborly of them?
In only a way that Carolsue can do, she let them have it. When she relayed the story to me, she bandyed phrases as, "all'y'all" and "I'll tell you what?" and other such Southern things that connotate when someone is totally pissed off.
Sadly the neighbors didn't exactly grasp that they had BROKEN INTO THE HOME AND TRESPASSED, instead they were extremely confused as to why Carolsue had a bee in her bonnet about something as neighborly as helping us rent out the home. And by the way, they liked Audrey.
To top it off, Carolsue called Audrey and left her a message saying, "You broke into the home? Next time charges will be filed." Which is kind of a vague threat because I don't have a last name or address for Audrey. In Carolsue's voice mail, she said, "Don't bother to call me back."
Now, I would like to stop here and explain: I am not happy about this. But after careful consideration, Carolsue and I have decided the neighbors thought they were helping. Carolsue has made it clear their help is no longer welcome and I doubt this will be a future issue. The house is fine. Nothing is broken or taken. It just isn't appropriate. Neither Carolsue or I are upset about this in any horrified way. It isn't like we found a meth lab or anything.
In fact, after talking with Carolsue, I figured this was a done deal. After all, Audrey stood up Carolsue (and by the way, she had seen the interior and then made the appointment for this weekend). Carolsue gave her voice mail a tongue lashing that scared me (and I only heard about it). If I were Audrey, I would probably cut my losses and move on.
But, I am not Audrey.
Instead, Audrey innocently called me asking if I left a message on her voice mail. Of course, she knew I didn't. She has caller ID because last week she recognized my number. I played dumb, asking how she liked the home and didn't she just talk to Carolsue at the Leeds home?
Audrey said she didn't make it over and could I please give her Carolsue's number so they could discuss "something." Oh certainly. Anyone willing to call Carolsue after hearing a rant has guts or is missing brain cells. But what do I care? Maybe if she has either she will be perfect for that home. After all, I still am needing a renter. And I am almost desperate enough to entertain Audrey as a candidate.
A few moments later Audrey called me back again. She still hadn't talked to Carolsue. This time she sounded a bit shaken. By way of an explanation, she started the call by saying, "I wanted you to understand one of the neighbors let me in the house. But I didn't break in."
"Oh?" I said.
Audrey then explained how one of the neighbors had come by while they were waiting for Carolsue and offered to show the home. If I understand correctly, Aurey somehow assumeed the neighbor had some sort of magic wand and was able to open the house by walking around back where there are no doors, only windows.
Apparently Audrey assumed (after she found out Carolsue wasn't coming because of car trouble and we had spoken several times during the course of time Audrey was impatiently waiting) that I authorized the neighbor to do this. Of course, when she and I talked last week I didn't mention the neighbor. And, I know I told her Carolsue had the only keys.
Of course, the main point of her call was to convince me she did not break into the home and to please not think of her as the type of person who would commit an illegal activity. She admitted she crossed the threshold but she did not break in. After all, there is a difference. Audrey insisted she was was unsure how the neighbor got in. But please understand, she--Audrey--would never break into a home. I am guessing this woman probably never jaywalked in her life. Tresspassing is a new level of rowdy for Audrey.
My only response to this was a dull, "Are you interested in renting the home?"
Strangely, she said she wasn't sure. Apparently, she has a "few irons in the fire" and can she get back to me?
So Audrey, you called me and gave me this song and dance and you don't even want the house? Ok. Whatever.
My indifference wasn't enough for her, Audrey then called Carolsue. If I was redemption Carolsue was penance.
Audrey used that same lame, "I am not the one who committed a crime and I have no idea how the neighbor got into the house, therefore I am not a criminal," garbage on Carolsue. I didn't call Audrey on her stupidity, but Carolsue sure did.
I am pretty sure by the time Audrey hung up Carolsue had scared Audrey into turning herself into the Leeds police, offering whatever restitution is necessary for someone walking through a vacant home uninvited and offering to pay double taxes to the IRS next year.
When Carolsue called me to report her chat with Audrey I asked if she thought Audrey would call me again. Carolsue seems to think so. I can't decide what I will do if she calls. On one hand, I don't like crazies. And, Audrey seems to have cornered the market on a new species of crazy. On the other hand, Audrey is crazy enough for the neighborhood and the neighbors already like her.
Saturday afternoon Audrey stood Carolsue up. After an hour, the only people to make their way into my fabulous Leeds home to greet Carolsue were the neighbors. In fact, the neighbors were extremely friendly. So friendly, that they told Carolsue how they broke in through the window last week when Carolsue hadn't shown and then let Audrey into the house! And, wasn't that quite neighborly of them?
In only a way that Carolsue can do, she let them have it. When she relayed the story to me, she bandyed phrases as, "all'y'all" and "I'll tell you what?" and other such Southern things that connotate when someone is totally pissed off.
Sadly the neighbors didn't exactly grasp that they had BROKEN INTO THE HOME AND TRESPASSED, instead they were extremely confused as to why Carolsue had a bee in her bonnet about something as neighborly as helping us rent out the home. And by the way, they liked Audrey.
To top it off, Carolsue called Audrey and left her a message saying, "You broke into the home? Next time charges will be filed." Which is kind of a vague threat because I don't have a last name or address for Audrey. In Carolsue's voice mail, she said, "Don't bother to call me back."
Now, I would like to stop here and explain: I am not happy about this. But after careful consideration, Carolsue and I have decided the neighbors thought they were helping. Carolsue has made it clear their help is no longer welcome and I doubt this will be a future issue. The house is fine. Nothing is broken or taken. It just isn't appropriate. Neither Carolsue or I are upset about this in any horrified way. It isn't like we found a meth lab or anything.
In fact, after talking with Carolsue, I figured this was a done deal. After all, Audrey stood up Carolsue (and by the way, she had seen the interior and then made the appointment for this weekend). Carolsue gave her voice mail a tongue lashing that scared me (and I only heard about it). If I were Audrey, I would probably cut my losses and move on.
But, I am not Audrey.
Instead, Audrey innocently called me asking if I left a message on her voice mail. Of course, she knew I didn't. She has caller ID because last week she recognized my number. I played dumb, asking how she liked the home and didn't she just talk to Carolsue at the Leeds home?
Audrey said she didn't make it over and could I please give her Carolsue's number so they could discuss "something." Oh certainly. Anyone willing to call Carolsue after hearing a rant has guts or is missing brain cells. But what do I care? Maybe if she has either she will be perfect for that home. After all, I still am needing a renter. And I am almost desperate enough to entertain Audrey as a candidate.
A few moments later Audrey called me back again. She still hadn't talked to Carolsue. This time she sounded a bit shaken. By way of an explanation, she started the call by saying, "I wanted you to understand one of the neighbors let me in the house. But I didn't break in."
"Oh?" I said.
Audrey then explained how one of the neighbors had come by while they were waiting for Carolsue and offered to show the home. If I understand correctly, Aurey somehow assumeed the neighbor had some sort of magic wand and was able to open the house by walking around back where there are no doors, only windows.
Apparently Audrey assumed (after she found out Carolsue wasn't coming because of car trouble and we had spoken several times during the course of time Audrey was impatiently waiting) that I authorized the neighbor to do this. Of course, when she and I talked last week I didn't mention the neighbor. And, I know I told her Carolsue had the only keys.
Of course, the main point of her call was to convince me she did not break into the home and to please not think of her as the type of person who would commit an illegal activity. She admitted she crossed the threshold but she did not break in. After all, there is a difference. Audrey insisted she was was unsure how the neighbor got in. But please understand, she--Audrey--would never break into a home. I am guessing this woman probably never jaywalked in her life. Tresspassing is a new level of rowdy for Audrey.
My only response to this was a dull, "Are you interested in renting the home?"
Strangely, she said she wasn't sure. Apparently, she has a "few irons in the fire" and can she get back to me?
So Audrey, you called me and gave me this song and dance and you don't even want the house? Ok. Whatever.
My indifference wasn't enough for her, Audrey then called Carolsue. If I was redemption Carolsue was penance.
Audrey used that same lame, "I am not the one who committed a crime and I have no idea how the neighbor got into the house, therefore I am not a criminal," garbage on Carolsue. I didn't call Audrey on her stupidity, but Carolsue sure did.
I am pretty sure by the time Audrey hung up Carolsue had scared Audrey into turning herself into the Leeds police, offering whatever restitution is necessary for someone walking through a vacant home uninvited and offering to pay double taxes to the IRS next year.
When Carolsue called me to report her chat with Audrey I asked if she thought Audrey would call me again. Carolsue seems to think so. I can't decide what I will do if she calls. On one hand, I don't like crazies. And, Audrey seems to have cornered the market on a new species of crazy. On the other hand, Audrey is crazy enough for the neighborhood and the neighbors already like her.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Observation
After dealing with Mrs. Martin's court issue, another water leak at Ms. Angie's home and an icky illness this month, I am ready for just about anything. That even includes another barrage of potential tenants for the Leeds property.
And, just as I was psyching up for the stereotypical inane calls, "Will y'all allow me to add a basement to this home?" and "When you say you don't allow pit bulls, does that mean you won't allow my four pit bulls?", the phone rings with future tenants who either were raised right or have been taking notes from my blog. I got three calls on Friday that started like this, "Good afternoon. My name is Perfect Petunia. I saw you had a home for rent in Leeds? Would I be able to see it this weekend? If not, when would be a good time to schedule a showing?"
I find it interesting the number of people coming out of the woodwork this late in the month looking for a place to live. Generally I see more people looking to move the second and third weekends of the month. However, maybe it is because it is Leeds where things are a bit more um... relaxed, or maybe because there are five weekends in October, for whatever reason potential tenants are showing up now.
At least they are being civilized about it.
And, just as I was psyching up for the stereotypical inane calls, "Will y'all allow me to add a basement to this home?" and "When you say you don't allow pit bulls, does that mean you won't allow my four pit bulls?", the phone rings with future tenants who either were raised right or have been taking notes from my blog. I got three calls on Friday that started like this, "Good afternoon. My name is Perfect Petunia. I saw you had a home for rent in Leeds? Would I be able to see it this weekend? If not, when would be a good time to schedule a showing?"
I find it interesting the number of people coming out of the woodwork this late in the month looking for a place to live. Generally I see more people looking to move the second and third weekends of the month. However, maybe it is because it is Leeds where things are a bit more um... relaxed, or maybe because there are five weekends in October, for whatever reason potential tenants are showing up now.
At least they are being civilized about it.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Aw...
I got a call from Matt Tuesday. As you recall, Matt is a mortgage guy who took a hiatus for one month to try out being a handyman. After handling two of my properties, he decided the handyman vocation wasn't for him.
Anyway, Matt called with a simple question for me: Do I like being a landlord? I was sorely tempted to give him this blog site. However, then he might think I don't like what I do. And, there are days I don't. But, overall, yes I like being a landlord. I like it more when things aren't so shaky as they have been for the past two years.
There are many interesting points about my conversation with Matt. First, he called me about this. I don't really know him. He knows other local investors. However he told me the investors he has met recently don't have homes as nice as mine. Apparently the ones he has met of late tend to buy the least expensive homes and these are usually in neighborhoods scarier than I shop in. Apparently he was impressed with the variety of homes I have.
Second, he is looking at getting some investors together to start a real estate investment trust. Did I know anything about this? As a matter of fact, I was working on this two years ago when the market tanked, taking all of my best intentions with it. What I told him was talk to Attorney Jon--the man who introduced us to begin with. Attorney Jon is the King Midas of my Birmingham world.
What I really loved about my conversation with Matt was that I was able to talk shop. Matt is a great guy, though I think I will stick with Carolsue and Mr. 114 for my handyman needs. I love sharing what I learned and hearing how others look at real estate investing. Though I have to admit, the other thing I really-really liked about talking to Matt was what it did to my ego. Matt called me--a virtual stranger--to ask my opinion.
Anyway, Matt called with a simple question for me: Do I like being a landlord? I was sorely tempted to give him this blog site. However, then he might think I don't like what I do. And, there are days I don't. But, overall, yes I like being a landlord. I like it more when things aren't so shaky as they have been for the past two years.
There are many interesting points about my conversation with Matt. First, he called me about this. I don't really know him. He knows other local investors. However he told me the investors he has met recently don't have homes as nice as mine. Apparently the ones he has met of late tend to buy the least expensive homes and these are usually in neighborhoods scarier than I shop in. Apparently he was impressed with the variety of homes I have.
Second, he is looking at getting some investors together to start a real estate investment trust. Did I know anything about this? As a matter of fact, I was working on this two years ago when the market tanked, taking all of my best intentions with it. What I told him was talk to Attorney Jon--the man who introduced us to begin with. Attorney Jon is the King Midas of my Birmingham world.
What I really loved about my conversation with Matt was that I was able to talk shop. Matt is a great guy, though I think I will stick with Carolsue and Mr. 114 for my handyman needs. I love sharing what I learned and hearing how others look at real estate investing. Though I have to admit, the other thing I really-really liked about talking to Matt was what it did to my ego. Matt called me--a virtual stranger--to ask my opinion.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Le Sigh
The Waterford home is in the outskirts of Birmingham in a newish subdivision. We bought it several years ago when the community was being developed and right before the market tanked. This particular home is in a "master planned" community, complete with pool, tennis court, club house and nosy neighbors who have nothing better to do than whine to some all-powerful committee when you leave your trash can outside an hour longer than you should.
Normally I don't buy homes in these types neighborhoods. I don't see any reason to pay for additional amenities when I don't get to use them. And, from what I have discovered, my tenants don't use them either. However, I am finding there are those tenants who are drawn to this lifestyle are happy to have the opportunity to have a club house nearby. And there are those who really don't care. Mostly they don't care.
When we bought, this was an up-and-coming community. I happen to think if the housing market hadn't taken a belly flop this neighborhood would have thrived. At the time in Birmingham, this was a new and novel concept concept. Even today, looking around Birmingham, you will be hard-pressed to find middle-class affordable subdivisions offering these types of amenities.
Instead of the Utopia the developer assured homeowners would be their, this neighborhood is now riddled with rentals from desperate landlords who couldn't sell and foreclosures from well-meaning homeowners who bought above their means. For the most part, there are owners who take care of their yards, plan the neighborhood potlucks and do all the neighborly things we all want to see. But, in between the Smith's and the Jones' homes there are two rentals and a foreclosure. On every street.
My Waterford home is one of the Birmingham neighborhoods I tend to watch more closely than others. I am relieved to say right now the house is worth about what I paid for it--maybe a little more or less, depending upon who asks. I am also relieved to say, I don't classify myself as a "desperate landlord."
In the past, I have always managed to get more in rent for this home than I should. If this home were closer in town, right now, I wouldn't blink at my rental price. But, being in a faltering almost-up-and-coming subdivision where you can't swing a dead cat without hitting another rental, is making my exorbant rental rate a bit more difficult.
Beginning from the time Mrs. Waterford told me she was moving, I started following Craig's List to see what properties were renting for in this subdivision right now. There are two homes on this street renting for $200 less than I have been getting for rent. Are they in better condition? Do they have new carpet, a privacy fence and a two car garage? I don't know.
Considering I get top dollar and my homes are rented almost instantly in some scary neighborhoods for my homes, it is sad to have to compete way out here in the suburbs and hope I have a tenant within two months. The difference is there are very few rental homes in Birmingham. Rental homes tend to be out in the suburbs. Like this one.
Adding to the rent issue, now that Kirby is involved, I have the added expense of property management to contend with. Given my mortgage, my break even point is still higher than market rents for this area. And, it is hard to convince a tenant they want to pay $100 to $200 more when the same floor plan is for rent three doors down for less-minus the privacy fence.
Kirby brought me a potential tenant Monday. They want to move in Friday. They are both employed, no pets, one child. Her credit isn't great. He is a victim of the local economy and is currently grateful he has part-time employment. They like the house. However, they have been paying attention to the same rental homes I have been watching. They know what the market will bear. They know I am crazy. They know what the home a block away is renting for. When Kirby called, he wanted to know what I wanted to do--come down on my rent or let them walk?
The good news is they are willing to cough up slightly more than market rent for this home. The bad news is what they are willing to come up with, and Kirby's fee doesn't leave us with much of anything other than the mortgage payment and a swell tax deduction when all is said and done.
Fortunately, this home isn't that old. Fortunately, the home is in good condition. Fortunately, we have other homes that do cash flow to cover the expenses. Not having a paying tenant is probably more detrimental to us right now than having a paying tenant who is just covering the mortgage.
I could hold out for more money. But, I probably would become desperate and start lowering my standards. After all, it is my overall experience that people with obscenely horrid credit are willing to pay a lot more than market rent prices because they can't get a better deal. My experience with tenants with obscenely horrid credit is they are obscenely horrid renters. I am not up to dealing with awful renters right now. I would rather have someone babysit my asset and let the values come back up, even if I am not seeing much at the end of the month.
Normally I don't buy homes in these types neighborhoods. I don't see any reason to pay for additional amenities when I don't get to use them. And, from what I have discovered, my tenants don't use them either. However, I am finding there are those tenants who are drawn to this lifestyle are happy to have the opportunity to have a club house nearby. And there are those who really don't care. Mostly they don't care.
When we bought, this was an up-and-coming community. I happen to think if the housing market hadn't taken a belly flop this neighborhood would have thrived. At the time in Birmingham, this was a new and novel concept concept. Even today, looking around Birmingham, you will be hard-pressed to find middle-class affordable subdivisions offering these types of amenities.
Instead of the Utopia the developer assured homeowners would be their, this neighborhood is now riddled with rentals from desperate landlords who couldn't sell and foreclosures from well-meaning homeowners who bought above their means. For the most part, there are owners who take care of their yards, plan the neighborhood potlucks and do all the neighborly things we all want to see. But, in between the Smith's and the Jones' homes there are two rentals and a foreclosure. On every street.
My Waterford home is one of the Birmingham neighborhoods I tend to watch more closely than others. I am relieved to say right now the house is worth about what I paid for it--maybe a little more or less, depending upon who asks. I am also relieved to say, I don't classify myself as a "desperate landlord."
In the past, I have always managed to get more in rent for this home than I should. If this home were closer in town, right now, I wouldn't blink at my rental price. But, being in a faltering almost-up-and-coming subdivision where you can't swing a dead cat without hitting another rental, is making my exorbant rental rate a bit more difficult.
Beginning from the time Mrs. Waterford told me she was moving, I started following Craig's List to see what properties were renting for in this subdivision right now. There are two homes on this street renting for $200 less than I have been getting for rent. Are they in better condition? Do they have new carpet, a privacy fence and a two car garage? I don't know.
Considering I get top dollar and my homes are rented almost instantly in some scary neighborhoods for my homes, it is sad to have to compete way out here in the suburbs and hope I have a tenant within two months. The difference is there are very few rental homes in Birmingham. Rental homes tend to be out in the suburbs. Like this one.
Adding to the rent issue, now that Kirby is involved, I have the added expense of property management to contend with. Given my mortgage, my break even point is still higher than market rents for this area. And, it is hard to convince a tenant they want to pay $100 to $200 more when the same floor plan is for rent three doors down for less-minus the privacy fence.
Kirby brought me a potential tenant Monday. They want to move in Friday. They are both employed, no pets, one child. Her credit isn't great. He is a victim of the local economy and is currently grateful he has part-time employment. They like the house. However, they have been paying attention to the same rental homes I have been watching. They know what the market will bear. They know I am crazy. They know what the home a block away is renting for. When Kirby called, he wanted to know what I wanted to do--come down on my rent or let them walk?
The good news is they are willing to cough up slightly more than market rent for this home. The bad news is what they are willing to come up with, and Kirby's fee doesn't leave us with much of anything other than the mortgage payment and a swell tax deduction when all is said and done.
Fortunately, this home isn't that old. Fortunately, the home is in good condition. Fortunately, we have other homes that do cash flow to cover the expenses. Not having a paying tenant is probably more detrimental to us right now than having a paying tenant who is just covering the mortgage.
I could hold out for more money. But, I probably would become desperate and start lowering my standards. After all, it is my overall experience that people with obscenely horrid credit are willing to pay a lot more than market rent prices because they can't get a better deal. My experience with tenants with obscenely horrid credit is they are obscenely horrid renters. I am not up to dealing with awful renters right now. I would rather have someone babysit my asset and let the values come back up, even if I am not seeing much at the end of the month.
Don't Scare Me Again
Carolsue was scheduled to hold the Leeds home open on Sunday afternoon. Instead, I got a snippy phone call from the Audrey woman asking why the home wasn't open. Audrey completely ignored my astonishment of Carolsue not being there and sighed heavily about how she had been inconvenienced.
When I explained to Audrey I was so sorry Carolsue wasn't there. And would it be too much trouble for her to come back in an hour. Meanwhile, I began to panic.
You see, Carolsue is efficient and reliable. If she wasn't at the open house she was stranded on the side of the road or she was dead somewhere. I didn't see any other options. First, it isn't like her to flake. And second, well, there is no second. She didn't forget the open house. Because she lives alone, I had other concerns that if something happened to her nobody might find out right away. At any rate, normally level-headed me went into full Carolsue search mode.
An hour later, after I had tried Carolsue's home number in vain a few more times Audrey called back, again asking why the home still wasn't open. Again still not seeing this as an issue, I explained I was very motivated to rent the house out and I am happy to consider her, but the person who was supposed to show it is MISSING--most likely with car trouble. However, could Audrey please constitute this a minor emergency and could her issue kindly take a back seat to a missing person??? Audrey begrudgingly acquiesced.
Meanwhile, through the miracle of Facebook, I located Carolsue's daughter to see if she knew what happened to her. I also tried the cell number I had for Carolsue's son-in-law. Sadly, they were not available. Baseball Guy and Nephew Jon are currently in Texas, so calling them seemed to be a moot point. And, I toyed for a moment of calling my tenant Angie and asking her to swing by Carolsue's home and see if Carolsue was there and breathing. But, I decided not to. Finally, I called the Birmingham police and asked them to drive by and see if she was home--and more importantly--alive.
Poor Carolsue. Her car broke down about a mile from the Leeds house. Without a cell phone or a way to contact anyone, she was stuck until a sweet tow truck driver gave her and her car a ride home (She happens to be the only human being on Earth without a cell phone. And I mean that. Even my 36-year-old brother who shuns every invention created in the past 20 years as a fad, finally got a cell phone). Though I am sorry her car broke down, I was relieved she was breathing.
When she called me, she apologized for not holding the house open. Like I explained to her, I can always get more potential tenants. I can't get another Carolsue.
When I explained to Audrey I was so sorry Carolsue wasn't there. And would it be too much trouble for her to come back in an hour. Meanwhile, I began to panic.
You see, Carolsue is efficient and reliable. If she wasn't at the open house she was stranded on the side of the road or she was dead somewhere. I didn't see any other options. First, it isn't like her to flake. And second, well, there is no second. She didn't forget the open house. Because she lives alone, I had other concerns that if something happened to her nobody might find out right away. At any rate, normally level-headed me went into full Carolsue search mode.
An hour later, after I had tried Carolsue's home number in vain a few more times Audrey called back, again asking why the home still wasn't open. Again still not seeing this as an issue, I explained I was very motivated to rent the house out and I am happy to consider her, but the person who was supposed to show it is MISSING--most likely with car trouble. However, could Audrey please constitute this a minor emergency and could her issue kindly take a back seat to a missing person??? Audrey begrudgingly acquiesced.
Meanwhile, through the miracle of Facebook, I located Carolsue's daughter to see if she knew what happened to her. I also tried the cell number I had for Carolsue's son-in-law. Sadly, they were not available. Baseball Guy and Nephew Jon are currently in Texas, so calling them seemed to be a moot point. And, I toyed for a moment of calling my tenant Angie and asking her to swing by Carolsue's home and see if Carolsue was there and breathing. But, I decided not to. Finally, I called the Birmingham police and asked them to drive by and see if she was home--and more importantly--alive.
Poor Carolsue. Her car broke down about a mile from the Leeds house. Without a cell phone or a way to contact anyone, she was stuck until a sweet tow truck driver gave her and her car a ride home (She happens to be the only human being on Earth without a cell phone. And I mean that. Even my 36-year-old brother who shuns every invention created in the past 20 years as a fad, finally got a cell phone). Though I am sorry her car broke down, I was relieved she was breathing.
When she called me, she apologized for not holding the house open. Like I explained to her, I can always get more potential tenants. I can't get another Carolsue.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
A Day In The Life
Lest you think I have nothing better to do than make up tales about pool of potential tenants I meet, nope. It is all real. And, it seems the ones in Leeds Alabama are always the most colorful. With the exception of Boo, who owns the cash-only locksmith and gun shop behind Augie's Bar in Downtown Leeds, this has pretty much been my experience with everyone in Leeds Alabama.
Carolsue and I had the following e-mail exchange on Saturday. Here is what she wrote me:
And my response to Carolsue's e-mail:
Carolsue and I had the following e-mail exchange on Saturday. Here is what she wrote me:
So, it's like 3:30 and the phone rings.
This old lady says to me, "Are you the lady that's supposed to show me the house?"
I replied, "If you're talking about the house in Leeds, then yes, I suppose I am."
She says, "I'll can be there in about 30 minutes, can you give me directions?" (First how does she know she can be there in about 30 minutes, if I need to give her directions so she will know where it is?? Secondly, could you say hello and perhaps even - I know this is a LOT to ask - give me your name??)
I replied, "No ma'am, I cannot be there in about 30 minutes. However, I am going to be there tomorrow between 1 and 4 if you would like to come by at that time, I'll be happy to show the house to you."
She says, "You won't do it now?"
I replied, "No ma'am, I can't."
She says, "Well, I certainly don't know why on earth not!"
Somewhat taken aback and not wanting to be rude, I simply repeated myself, "I will be there tomorrow if you want to see it then you are welcome to come."
She says, "Well, how about you just tell me where it is and I'll drive out there today all by myself (she added emphasis to that) and see if it is even something I'd be interested in?"
I replied, "Sure, that sounds like a great idea." Then I gave her directions. However, I don't think she is going to find it because when I told her to turn by the Sonic and the elementary school and go over the tracks, she kept saying, "I know that street, it goes to downtown Leeds." First, is there a downtown Leeds? And secondly, no it does not. After the third time that I repeated the directions (because that street does not go to downtown Leeds - providing there is actually a downtown Leeds) and her steadfastly insisting that it most certainly does, I gave up.
Having said that, I think she will be perfect for the neighborhood. Judging by her rudeness and aggressiveness, I also don't think anyone would dare to come onto the property while she lives there so no hacksaws will ever be found beneath that house again!
In my mind I pictured her looking something like the picture below. This is her after she found the moron across the street in her shed. I'll let you know if she shows tomorrow.
And my response to Carolsue's e-mail:
Ah yes! The rude lady! Her name is Audrey or something. I got a text from her this morning with JUST A PHONE NUMBER, called back, left a message. She called me back and said, "did you just call me?" I don't know lady, did you listen to your voice mail???
Anyway, I told her I had gotten a text from that number... and before I could continue, she barked, "It wasn't from me. I don't text. I never text."
I told her, my mistake, apologized, told her I am sure I dialed the wrong number and hung up.
She then called back two minutes later (as if none of the previous conversation had NEVER happened) and told me she was interested in the house and could she see it in the afternoon.
I told her I was out of town, but I had a family friend who was doing me a HUGE favor. She was showing it tomorrow between 1 and 4 and perhaps she could stop by then. Also, this family friend who was doing me a HUGE favor might be over there today cleaning the carpets. So, if she is, she might be able to show it then. I gave her your number, hung up and prayed for someone better to come along.
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