Friday, August 28, 2015

Oh... The Irony


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To add insult to injury, my 15 year old, Polly, is taking a financial literacy class. For those of you unaware, my daughter has a learning disability. So, I often help her read.

One of the questions I read to her was, "Name a poor financial decision." And before she could stop herself, she blurted, "Buying houses in Alabama."

Monday, August 24, 2015

On A Brighter Note

For those of you three long-time readers, you may recall that August 24 is our own personal holiday around these parts. Today is my dear friend and bookkeeper's birthday.  I have known Bliz for more than half of my life. She tutored me in high school chemistry, taught me how to wear eye liner and held my hand as I navigated through teenage angst. What more can a friend ask for?

Many years ago, when I had a wild idea to start an accidental business, Bliz became my bookkeeper. I remember sitting across from her in the Midwestern city she lives in and watching to her agree to this journey. I am so glad she did.

Happy Birthday Bliz. You are an amazing friend. You keep me grounded. You have always brought out the best in me and you listen patiently to my whining. God was working overtime the day He shoved you into my life all those years ago.

--S

PS. Your birthday present will arrive tomorrow. They refused to ship it on Friday. :-)

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

I Can Tell Them Where to Go

Like a bad holiday white elephant gift exchange, I can't seem to unload my two defunct homes.

In fact, the only person who has anything positive to say to me is the guy from India (confirmed) who called me from the second mortgage company for our Pinson home (they house with the wrap around porch, 2 acres, mountains, pond, etc.), who casually asked how I was doing today. The conversation went South about two seconds afterwards when he asked for my social security number, but it was nice while it lasted.

In all fairness, I have heard from representatives of the first mortgage company for the Pinson home. Some attorney sent Marty and me separate letters telling us we are very bad people and they are going to sue us. They were going to take everything we had, including the cat and the kids if we didn't immediately cough up the entire balance of what we owed to them with interest and attorney's fees.

And by the way, they don't like us.

I am sure the sentiment was real, but I can't get too worked up about it when the actual mortgage company--the one who hired these goons--keeps juggling me around. Two weeks ago Naynay was my deed in lieu of foreclosure liaison. Then it was someone named Akmed and now it is a guy named Jonathan. Apparently (according to the e-mail I got from Jonathan) the mortgage company now wants to see the interior of the property and they will then "make a determination" of where to go from there. It doesn't really matter where they decide to "go from there."

I personally don't understand what all the hold up is. I can tell them what is happening next. There is no need to decide where to go from this point forward. They are getting the house back.






Friday, August 07, 2015

A Week in the Life of an Accidental Business

Though most of the posts these days are centered around the drama of our two pre-foreclosures, there really is other activity happening down South. To give you an idea of what my week was like:

Saturday (August 1): I got a bill from Kirby for work he did that I did not previously authorize. Apparently Flunky, the maintenance jerk took it upon himself to order Kirby to one of my homes on my behalf. Because Kirby gave me the frequent customer discount and I would have authorized it if they he had asked, I have not raised hell with Flunky. Yet.

Sunday: Some horrid hour before 8 a.m., the second mortgage company for the home in Pinson (the one with the charming wrap around porch) called us. I answered, said a few words that aren't intended for a family blog and then promptly went to church to beg for forgiveness.

Also Sunday, Ms. Angie wrote me a pretty creative e-mail explaining why rent would be a tad bit late. Apparently, her daughter had been arrested and the rent money was used for bail. Not once, mind you, but twice in 24 hours. Oh, and by the way, she "loves the home" and "is happy living there."

Monday: I had a long talk with Carolsue. We had not chatted in months. We didn't discuss anything related to Alabama, and it was a lot of fun to chat with an old friend.

Monday I also realized Mrs. Sherwood hadn't paid the rent.

In addition, Monday, Mr. Partner sent me an e-mail telling me one of of our mortgage companies wanted proof of insurance and could I handle that immediately, thankyouverymuch.

Tuesday: The Bigoted Asset Manager sent me a professionally terse letter saying he/his bank would not approve a short sale. Given I have e-mailed and/or talked with this man at least once a week, every week since the beginning of April and he couldn't be bothered to give me a head's up, I am guessing he is serious. More on this in another blog. Probably.

Wednesday: Marty Sunshine contacted the first mortgage company for the home in Pinson to find out what was going on with our deed in lieu of foreclosure. It turns out our representative, Naynay, hadn't done anything--including but not limited to--actually processing all of the papers we had sent to the mortgage company. Nor had Naynay returned my calls or e-mail. Anyway, when Marty called he was told our case was "closed" and Marty asked them to re-open it. We are now told a representative from the mortgage company is supposed to call Luigi's office to arrange access to this house. This particular representative called us once, leaving a message for Marty to call him back immediately. Marty has repeatedly called him back with no luck.

Thursday: Sometime when I wasn't looking, Mrs. Sherwood slipped the rent money into the bank account.

I also found out Thursday that I accidentally paid the second mortgage on the Pinson home through the bank's automatic bill payer option. For the record, this won't be a mistake I make again. However, sending one accidental gratuitous payment has not cut down the calls from the second mortgage payment one bit.

And finally, Friday (today): In the mail today was LegalOwl's bill. I believe there are third world nations with a smaller gross domestic product than what what our LLC owes her.