Sunday, March 30, 2014

Spring is Here!


We will return to your regularly scheduled blog shortly. 

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Beware of the Ides of March and the Rest of the %&$#^* Month Too

Typically springtime is my favorite time of year. However, this particular March has just stunk. On the private side, Polly had some weird ailment that kept me hopping from doctor to doctor for a couple of weeks (she's fine now). In addition, I have been working a zillion hours--which will hopefully pan out in a month or two, and the two property management companies I have hired in Birmingham are driving me to stroke out on a daily basis.

Mario's minion, Bruce--who was more than happy to answer my calls and e-mails when he first learned he had lost my gazillion minus one (the one he currently manages) homes earlier this year, got over himself and stopped talking to me at an inopportune moment. He originally sent me a punch list of things the tenant was asking to be fixed. My reply was simply: how many of the particular issues on this list are you asking me to fix that the tenant may have caused?

And, because Bruce tends to be conflict avoidant, he didn't get back to me--even after four e-mails. After a while, I contacted Mario and suggested Bruce must be on vacation, because I am certain he would have answered my question right away, given Bruce is so um... awesome. I let Mario know I was just astonished he hadn't replied to my simple request: was the faucet leaking before the tenant moved in or did the tenant break the faucet and expect me to fix it? After Mario didn't respond for a week either, I started writing more lengthy e-mails and using larger words, hoping to convey my frustration at their silence.

Finally Mario gave in and suggested we needed to have a phone conference. That is scheduled for sometime next week. I really am not sure why we need a pow-wow over a stupid punch list, but whatever. I can roll my eyes just as easily on the phone as I can at an e-mail. All I want to know is was the faucet leaking, was the shower door broken and was the fireplace cleaned before the tenant moved in?

Mario's drama just pales in comparison to Luigi. In his defense, Luigi manages more of my homes (a lot more) and has more hassles. I suspect he is cursing my name for bringing over my homes and all the subsequent baggage associated with these properties. That "baggage" is a blog or five for another time.

At one point a few weeks ago, Luigi sent me a note saying he was sorry to send me another work order. I wrote back: "What a coincidence! I am sorry to receive this." Which I was. Very sorry. The dishwasher had a slow leak that ruined the kitchen floor and all of the cabinets.

Last week, in addition to the popcorn ceiling request, he sent me an invoice for a gas leak I had at my property. He sweetly suggested I look over the invoice and explained he would call in a few minutes to "explain everything." I looked at the total and wrote him back, telling him to just call 911 and just send over a defibrillator.

I have property management companies so I don't have to deal with this stuff. For the most part, I am relieved I am not getting the tenant calls, but I am very tired of writing checks. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Free Popcorn

To give you an idea what my Monday was like, my first phone battery was dead by 11:47 a.m. and my second one by 4:52 p.m. Not including a of a pal of Polly's who called no less than 16 times in a half hour, my phone rang on average ever minute starting at 7 a.m. (and it was an Alabama call) and didn't stop until I turned it off after 6 p.m. Undercapitalized issues be damned. I was done for the day.

In addition to my phone, my texts sported messages from really awesome people like Bliz to some family members, whom I pretty much ignored, who had nothing better to do than contact me about self-induced drama out of my control. It also had more than 48 texts (I counted) from people who were not Bliz or related by blood.

When I finally sat down to process my e-mails (because you know if people can't wait the approximate four minutes for me to return their call and text, by golly! they need to e-mail me too!), I had an e-mail from Luigi. I wasn't in good humor, though I hoped I kept it professional enough. Apparently my Section 8 tenant called in a work order asking to have a new shower door hung--though I don't know why--and, (wait for it....) she wanted to know when I was removing the popcorn ceilings from "her" home.

I have no intention to have the popcorn ceilings scraped. The home in question isn't in a terrible area, but it isn't in the top-notch community either. The homes were built in a time when popcorn ceilings were all the rage. Though I think popcorn ceilings are unsightly under any circumstances, I  think someone who can't afford the rent and is living in my home off of the good tax payers can either live with with popcorn ceilings or move out. I am good either way.

And let me also just explain, this particular tenant by the way, has a 2011 Suburban and a 2012 Escalade. When I toured her home a couple of years ago, I found furnishings nicer than mine (which isn't hard to achieve actually) and nicer and much newer appliances. And I should point out, Section 8 pays pittance, so I am not exactly cash-flowing a reasonable sum here.

I haven't heard back from Luigi about my take on this tenant's particular request, but I am guessing I was able to convey enough disapproval to the idea in one e-mail that he probably doesn't need to respond. 


Monday, March 17, 2014

Keeping My World in Perspective

Just found this. I love this line: " 'He is making a big to-do because he is being evicted'." Airbnb is a vacation rental site.

Airbnb renter returns to ‘overweight orgy’


A comedian under the impression he had rented out his posh Chelsea pad to a man with family in town for a wedding returned home to a wild orgy, he said.

Ari Teman, 31, claimed he left his apartment keys with David Carter, 32, on Friday night and stepped out for dinner before leaving town.

When he returned to the building to grab his luggage, a rowdy sex party featuring “Big Beautiful Women” was in the process of being shut down by building management.

“This was just so bizarre,” said Teman, who had rented his apartment via the website Airbnb.

“The worst part of the Internet right there was in my apartment.”

“There were all sorts of people walking out of my apartment and people coming in from the back yard. It was a huge mess.”

Teman said his apartment was trashed by a group of nearly nude, overweight people. After the shindig was broken up, Carter was a nervous wreck in the lobby, Teman says.

“This guy had a look of horror on his face,” Teman said. “He didn’t expect to see me for a few days. He said, ‘They shut us down, man, they’re shutting it down.’ ”

Carter, however, claims he just had a small, quiet get-together and that Teman was overreacting.
“I had six people, friends and family,” Carter told The Post. “He is making a big to-do because he is being evicted.”

Carter posted on Airbnb that he wanted a place for his in-laws to stay while they were in town for a wedding, Teman claims. “He had a verified account and he seemed legit,” Teman said. “He had three positive reviews and so I approved the deal.”

When Teman later searched Carter’s phone number on the Internet, he found the raunchy soiree involving plus-size women advertised online as “Turn Up Part 2: The Pantie Raid.”

One person even blasted out Teman’s Seventh Avenue address in a tweet for an “XXX FREAK FEST.”
Carter denied he had anything to do with the ad. “There was no address on the advertisement and I had nothing to with it,” he said.

The professional comedian called police, but no charges were filed. He now claims he wants to move.
“I just don’t want to touch anything in there,” he said. “I threw sheets all over everything.”

Carter claimed that a little partying never hurt anyone.

“I was not arrested. I did nothing wrong,” he said.

Airbnb said in a statement that Carter has been permanently removed from its website and that it will work with law enforcement to get the situation resolved.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

A Happy Landlord Story

Mr. Partner is refinancing two homes. I should mention that I have been asking Mr. Partner to do this for years. A few months ago he looked at the interest rate of one of his mortgages and decided it might be worth pursing. This is a home we bought in 2005 and things were a bit different then.

Fast forward to about three weeks ago. The underwriter of these mortgages asked for some very common items, leases, bank statements, tax returns and the like. Most of this paper is kept at my house so I needed to provide it. Which, I did. However, two of the leases: one for Ms. Angie's home and one for Mrs. Sherwood's home have expired. Like years ago. I was absolutely floored when I realized Mrs. Sherwood has been living in this home since 2007.

Anyway, because they are such awesome tenants and rarely call me before 6 a.m. (though Ms. Angie did text me at 4 a.m. my time last week), I haven't really done anything with their leases. This arrangement has worked out fine for all parties involved until the underwriter got hold of everything two weeks ago. At that time she wanted explanations as to why I don't have current leases. She also wanted something in writing showing they were still living in the homes and paying the rent.

Mr. Partner asked me to handle this two weeks ago. I got sidetracked by some personal issues in our lives and completely forgot. However, the ever-diligent Mr. Partner did not forget and reminded me 10 p.m. Sunday night when he told me he needed it first-thing Monday. 

Monday morning I left frantic messages for both Ms. Angie and Mrs. Sherwood telling them I needed their help, would they please check their e-mail, sign the letter I wrote for them and get it back to me in record time. I also pathetically explained to their voice mail that: 1) this needed to happen immediately--just in case I hadn't stressed that enough and 2) there was nothing wrong and this would not affect them.

Both of them obliged without batting an eye. In fact, Ms. Angie went so far to call me and I believe she may have asked if I was ok and to tell me the letter she needed to sign should be back in my inbox at that moment. And, if I needed anything else, just say the word. Or at least that is what I gleaned through her extremely thick drawl. Mrs. Sherwood didn't say anything at all. The letter just appeared in my inbox fifteen minutes later. However I did text her and say thank you. I got a quick reply, "You are very welcome." 

And this is why these two tenants are not in property management.

Sunday, March 02, 2014

My Money is on the Leprechaun

I finally had time to process what I wanted to do with the Grayson Valley house. To back up a teensy bit: in 2007, we bought this house with business partner Jack. Marty Sunshine and I put in half of the down payment. Jack put down the other half. Jack bailed on us about a year ago, not asking for his down payment back or his half of the equity. Nothing. Nada. This bothers me in some ways, but that is for another blog.

Last year (after Jack bailed and we found out he had not managed this place in any way, shape or form and it now had a LOT of deferred maintenance), Marty and I took care of the pressing issues and sunk part of our tax return into making the place the rock star of a house it deserves to be. For that, we were rewarded with top-of-the-market rent. We also refinanced and are now cash flowing a very nice sum every month (Jack refused to refinance). So, the house is now doing what we intended it to do all along. 

However, for some reason our tenant wants to buy the house. There was never a conversation with us about selling the home and the first I heard about this was at the end of January when rent was already a month late. So, I don't know if the tenant was told by Kirby's folks last year that we would sell her the home. I don't know if a leprechaun riding on a blue and orange water buffalo came to her in a dream and said she should purchase this home. But now she is hell-bent on buying this place and won't let up.

I am really not ready to sell. I like this house. It is in an appreciating neighborhood. Though we bought at the wrong time, it it worth slightly more than we paid for it. This morning I sent Luigi and his Broker, Ray, an e-mail. I gave them my price--which wasn't realistic. I said if I were to sell it right now, the sale would be as-is, we use Attorney Flip and everyone pays their own costs. I said these terms were not negotiable.

Though that should turn off any reasonable person, I don't want to loose the tenant if they aren't willing to hand over what in March of 2014 would be considered an obscene amount for this home. Crazy as she has proven may be, she and her husband have good jobs and a vacant home costs me money. So, I offered if the tenant was not in a position to buy it for my price, if they would like to renew when their lease is up, I will offer $200 off their first month's rent as long as someone can do a walk-through on the property and make sure it is still in great condition. The $200 I would be loosing (which is still less than what I am cash flowing) is a small price to pay not to have a vacancy and turn over the property.