Final Score: Landlord 1, Tommy -17

Tommy called me in a huff Sunday afternoon. He called right as Tony Abreu crossed plate, giving the Diamondbacks a momentary lead. It was the highlight of the game. And, I wasn't happy to miss it.

The reason for Tommy's call is that his fiancee, Tammy, had just seen the house and it was "filthy." Tommy moved on to the condition of the yard and what-exactly-was-I-going-to-do-about-it? minor diatribe, when I cut him off.

"I think you are jumping the gun." I said. "I haven't gotten a complete application from you. And until I do, I don't really wish to discuss anything else."

Tommy--who wasn't terribly articulate the first time I spoke with him--was crystal clear now. With a new conciliatory tone, he "yes ma'amed" me and politely asked what precisely he and Tammy needed to do so they could move into my home.

What I didn't tell Tommy is, at this point, there is absolutely nothing Tommy was going to be able to do to ever be able to move into my home. What I did tell Tommy was that I needed a photo ID from he and Tammy. I also needed verification of income. Tommy swore Tammy was taking care of most of it, and offered to take a picture of his driver's license with his phone and send it to me.

"I need your license faxed to me. I need to submit it to the credit company." I said. I got another yes ma'am as he backed away from the phone, wishing me a lovely day.

Not five minutes later, Tammy called, sweet as can be. She said she gave everything they needed to Carolsue and could Tommy please send me a photo of his driver's license, via cell phone?

She said Tommy is a long-haul trucker and finding a fax machine is difficult. Maybe it is just me, but I am under the impression there are fax machines in every state. By the way, Tammy said nothing about the condition of the home, other than to tell me she really likes it and is ready to get keys as soon as I am ready to hand them over.

I did tell her I was fixing to make a decision in the next couple of days. I hope I gave her the distinct impression she has competition. Because she does.

After Tommy and Tammy, my baseball game careened downhill. So, the next call from Carolsue was a welcome relief. She said Tammy never once complained about the condition of the home when they met earlier Sunday. The home is clean by the way. She said Tammy liked the house. When I told Carolsue about the fit Tommy threw, Carolsue said, "If you rent to them, you will be asking for trouble later." I am pleased I have taught Carolsue well.

I am pretty much seeing a super-clean two bedroom apartment in Tommy and Tammy's immediate future. Fortunately, I have two other applicants. Neither think the house is "filthy." And neither called during the baseball game.