The Eviction Game

Mrs. Martin just sent me a flabbergasted note saying she "had no idea" she owed rent. Didn't I get the March rent payment she made?

Dear Ms. Martin. Please check the calendar: It is the end of April.

The way evictions work in Alabama is like this (have no fear, Carolsue or Legal Eagle will correct me if I am wrong):

A lease termination notice must be delivered saying rent is 10 days late. I add in late fees and the cost to serve them as well. So, the amount is always more than the rent.

This notice is usually done more than 10 days after rent is late because NOTHING EVER HAPPENS ON TIME IN THE SOUTH. The notice gives them 10 more days to get their act together and send in the rent payment.

If they don't do that, or preferably move out, then we defer to Legal Eagle, who files in the court, saying we have a deadbeat on our hands. There is some hoops to jump through here. Lots of waiting. If the tenant doesn't respond to the court filing, then the sheriff comes out in a few weeks.

If the tenant does respond to the court filing, then we go to court and they can explain to the judge why they decided to steal from me. They also owe me more money if they stay in the house that long too. Legal Eagle is happy to garnish.

These deadlines are generally arbitrary. Last year I started Wayward's eviction process with Legal Eagle on May 1. She was escorted out August 1. Mr. Smith decided to fight me. I started his process on Aug. 1 and we went to court November 3.

Marty Sunshine keeps reminding me it wouldn't take any less time if we lived there and handled this ourselves. It doesn't make me feel any better.

Incidently, Mrs. Martin just e-mailed me. She says the check is in the mail. Uh huh. Of course it is.