Let's Just Call It Even, Shall We?

Carolsue has been preoccupied with life so I thought this would be a no-brainer. Ms. Betty was moving out. It was a more-or-less amiable split, with me pleased as punch to have this woman out of my life.

Because I thought this would be so simple, I asked her if she wanted to spit-shine her current home to "motel clean." I even offered to refund her half her cleaning deposit if she did so. Ms. Betty was thrilled I offered and even sent me a mushy note, explaining how God has put me in her life for a reason.

Though I probably don't have to define "motel clean" to the masses, apparently this concept was a bit lost on Ms. Betty. She did move her stuff out. She did sweep the floor and clean the pottys. Sadly, now I know what kinds of places Ms. Betty lodges at when she goes out of town.

For a week, Ms. Betty has been asking for her check. I have simply been ignoring her, waiting for Carolsue's assessment before I paid her a dime. Monday I got an e-mail from her saying, "I hope you aren't going to do me wrong."

Damn. I couldn't resist.

I wrote her back, explaining she did me wrong. She left a bunch of stuff she hauled into my home but didn't want to take with her to her new dwelling under the back deck and behind the shed (including a computer Carolsue commandeered with a file dated Sept. 12, 2009 titled "What is wrong with the landlord." Sadly, Carolsue hasn't been able to open the file yet.). How is this stuff going to be removed? Who pays for this?

Ms. Betty also forgot to clean off the crayon markings all over the walls. She forgot to repair some drywall. And, the one year old carpet that started my beautiful friendship with James the Hell's Angel Turned Carpet Guy is beyond filthy. From what I understand it smells like dirty dog.

Additionally, I told Ms. Betty that I spoke with one of the neighbors yesterday (from the non-redneck mafia end of the street, who had a fleeting interest in renting my home) about the dishwasher incident and they are pretty sure they know who took it. I told Ms. Betty her neighbor's assessment of the missing dishwasher fit in line with my suspicions too. Unfortunately, this was WAY too subtle for her.

In my e-mail I said, "I am not paying you for causing me more money to clean up your filthy mess. Between the junk, the drywall and paint and now the awful carpet, I will spend more on filth you caused." I also told her she and her husband have been given notice she is not to go near the house or the neighbor will call the police.

Given that I was in full bitch mode when I wrote her, I seriously didn't think I would hear from her. I did.

Ms. Betty's response was simply this, "ok that's fine but then you need to give my the money i spent on the locks to your house." She said her total cost was $20.

I just told her to send me the receipt, dated Sept. 26 for the two doorknobs and two deadbolts and I would be happy to reimburse her.

Or, maybe not.