Seriously, It is Only 100 Feet

One of the things I happen to like about Mrs. 508 is her resolve. Never have I met someone who has had every conceivable bad thing happen to them in such a short amount of time and see them bounce back. I swear to you, this woman has been jinxed six ways from Sunday.

The fact she hasn't been struck by lightening is a minor miracle. Now, let's take a moment to pause while we all knock on wood, say a novena or whatever other good luck you wish to bestow on Mrs. 508 so she isn't struck by lightening. I'm going to feel really bad if I get a call tomorrow telling me she was outside on a golf course during a thunder storm. I'm just saying...

Though I happen to like Mrs. 508 (even though her karma appears to really stink), I am not pleased with the way she has been keeping her home. No, MY home. And, with a small child living there, this is even more unnerving. This past week, I found out Mrs. 508 has been stacking tons of trash bags around her home. When I say tons, I am not being melodramatic. I saw pictures. There were a minimum of 50 bags.

What puzzled me the most, is why Mrs. 508 couldn't walk the extra 100 feet to the curb and dispose of this trash the way all Birmingham residents do. After all, rats don't only live in Leeds. By leaving it on the curb, the sanitation engineers will cheerfully come by once or twice a week and pick it up, thus leaving Mrs. 508 garbage bagless. I find this to be a novel concept. One apparently Mrs. 508 just didn't completely embrace.

I called Mrs. 508 a few times. And, I e-mailed her, telling her she was in violation of her lease and would she kindly remove her trash. All she had to do was pick up the trash bags and move them off the property. How hard is that? However, Mrs. 508 picked this week to not answer her phones or her e-mail.

Finally, I resorted to good old fashioned threats. My tenant shenanigan threshold has plummeted significantly in the past year. With the exception of Mr. Richard's signature required rent game (I swear that man is a flake), I don't tolerate much any more. This past week, I sent Mrs. 508 a letter, explaining there would be an inspection of the property later this month.

I knew this letter would promote action. I have a good relationship with Mrs. 508 and this would get her to call. She did call. But, she hasn't gotten the letter just yet. She finally got my e-mails. Yes, she knows about the garbage bags. Some of it is just donation fodder that needs to be given to the charity of her choice. Some of it needs to be walked to the curb (why is it still there?). Mrs. 508 assures me this will be done this weekend. She also assured me the non-working cars in her yard (not driveway) will also be removed. She further assured me this would not be an ongoing thing.

I explained to Mrs. 508 that I do not have ghetto homes. I do not rent to ghetto folks and I don't want anyone mistaking them for a ghetto family. Now Mrs. 508, act the part so you have a place to live.

I have not cancelled her inspection just yet. If she can send me photos of her new and improved yard with all the trash bags gone, I probably will. I don't wish to make enemies with a tenant--especially one who is paying. But, the first step is for her to take out the trash.