The Seller

Jack and I have had our meeting of the minds. And I now have a bit more of an understanding of what is going on with him. It seems Jack is just not confident about selling the home through traditional means, meaning the MLS. He is concerned about the current Birmingham economic conditions affecting us as we put it for sale. This is spoken like a true real estate professional who is in tune with the market.

We all have heard how doctors are the worst patients and lawyers who represent themselves have fools for clients. Real estate agents are the absolute worst sellers. The sellers in us are saying, "Of course it will sell. In fact, the price is way too low." Fortunately in this case, there are two of us--Jack and me--to alternate channeling the wildly manic role of seller. Also fortunately, we are both aware we have to take turns in this role for the sake of our sanity.

The role of the seller is to be wildly optimistic, ignoring market trends, data and real life cues. On Friday, I went on record saying I will not fix anything and the (hypothetical) buyer will just have to take the house or leave it. Jack politely pointed out how unrealistic that happens to be. But, I am sticking with it as of today.

The seller will make broad sweeping generalizations for the first couple weeks, blaming anyone and everyone for the lack of showings and/or lack of contract. In this case, we can blame our tenant for not cooperating and/or keeping the home cleaner than humanly possible. Because we all know a dirty light bulb will make or break a sale.

After the first few weeks, the seller will then start picking apart the home. Maybe if we consider painting the pantry, the buyer will miraculously appear at our doorstep, ignore the price, location and home amenities. But, they will somehow stumble into the kitchen, open up the pantry door and gasp, "Look how spanking new that pantry is! Won't my canned peas go with the antique white paint?" I am guilty as charged (but my pantry looked great!).

A few weeks later, the seller will then start blaming the real estate agent. Is he (in this case "he" would be Jack) marketing the house properly? Is he advertising everywhere there is to advertise? Where is the billboard with my home plastered across it? The agent will, of course, rightly suggest that lowering the price might be in our best interest. At some point the seller will begrudgingly agree and do what should have been done in the first place.

Because Jack and I are aware of how sellers can be, we have agreed after a few weeks to put the house on the market for rent--just in case the whole seller thing doesn't work out.