Mrs. Sherwood will Never Write a Cookbook

Mrs. Sherwood called me on Tuesday in the middle of a very serious meeting with Busy Mommy. Ok... Actually, we were at the dollar store looking for stocking stuffers. The purpose of Mrs. Sherwood's call was to get my fax number so she could send me the receipt for the stove I bought. Sadly, as she struggled with the fax machine, she realized carrier pigeon might have been faster, as the machine in question hadn't been used since Reagan was in office.

When I asked how the new stove was working out, she told me the major flaw she was finding was that her husband expected it to be used more than once. And, as far as she was concerned, she had tested the oven with Thanksgiving dinner. It worked. There was no need to jinx it.

While waiting for her fax to transmit, we swapped microwave dinner tips (tortillas, with melted cheese and canned chicken was my idea, instant grits with butter was hers) as I walked the aisles, searching for army men for Buckaroo and lip gloss for Polly. It was right around the peppermint sticks when Mrs. Sherwood dropped this one on me: the 47 year old carpet must go.
Her husband--who happens to be doing a bit more of the cooking--keeps spilling on the kitchen carpet. It is driving her crazy. It isn't like it can be just mopped up, she explained.

In turn, I explained that I just spent my last dollar on her stove and the money wasn't exactly in the budget right now for flooring. But down the road I would be happy to take care of this.

"Oh no! I plan on living her for a while. I wasn't asking you to replace it. I was going to do it," she said.

Well now! I can live with that. Because, I was going to replace the 47 year old carpet when they left anyway. So, if she wants to help me out. I am totally ok with that. Mrs. Sherwood promised me she would pick something neutral. And more importantly, something that her husband can mop up when he makes his mess.