I am Never Visiting Carolsue's Mother

The other day a tenant got a violation from the Birmingham police for their lawn being in disarray. Apparently it hadn't been mowed in a month and needed attention. What happens is if the lawn is not mowed in seven days, I get a nasty-gram and a fine from the City. My lease actually addresses this particular scenario. So, the lawn darn well better get mowed.

As Carolsue and I were discussing this particular issue, Carolsue tells me she heard there is a "snake problem" in Birmingham right now. Just so we are clear, I can handle just about any problem, as long as the modifier "snake" is not in front of it. Roof caving in? No problem! Osama bin Laden taking refuge next door to my my Leeds home? No problem. Snakes? Problem.

The Phoenix metro area tends to be a concrete jungle of streets fashioned in an asphalt grid. The neighborhoods are uniform. The terrain is mostly flat. We are urban. Even in the suburbs. Birmingham however, has rolling hills through three counties, with winding roads and woods. Yes, patches of trees and kudzu are interspersed in random areas. Hence, they have wildlife.

I live in the desert. I have scorpions. My wildlife lives in desert parks, in specific destinations of the city. I am good with that. I am one who firmly believes I can coexist with nature, as long as it is over there.

Carolsue however, burst my blissful bubble with her rendition of a "snake problem." In fact, just to drive the point home, she then told me this bedtime story. A home a few doors down from Carolsue's mother, has a warning sign on the window. Carolsue never really thought much about it until recently.

Apparently the home was repossessed by the bank. And, when the bank's representative went into the home, they found two copperhead snake nests. Not two single snakes, but (shudder) nests.

Of course, the exterminators came. But if a snake just happened to be, I don't know..., taking a nap in the attic, playing hide and go seek inside the walls, lounging in the basement or if it just slithered outside for a quick bite at the particular moment the exterminator was there, I am guessing the snake got away. And, according to Carolsue, snakes tend to go back to where they nested year after year. So, the poor person who buys that home, might have a bit of a challenge.

Carolsue's bit of news has prompted me to send out a note to the tenants this week, reminding my tenants to make sure their grass is cut. I can deal with an awful lot, but snakes are my breaking point.