I Was Only There To Buy A Bottle Of Water

Mr. Richards and I had a long talk today while I was at the the grocery store. The truth was, he was a pleasant break from the day I was already having.

This week, and today in particular, I have been working with real estate clients. I swear it was real estate clients J. K. Rowling had in mind when she created Dementors... Dementors suck out everything happy and fun in your life. They don't care what you are doing and have their own schedule and agenda.

But I digress. This blog is about property management in Alabama. How often I forget.

Back to Mr. Richards.

When Mr. Richards got home yesterday he found my love note taped to his door. Apparently this was an eye opener because he was under the mistaken impression he and I could dance around this game forever. He called to tell me when my money was coming. He then said a bunch of really flattering things that made me blush as I walked around the bakery department. I felt better. Somehow talking to tenants who owe me money brings out the yearning only satiated by the smell of fresh baked brownies.

By the time I got to the frozen foods, I had heard enough. I had already spent six hours with a dithering buyer who can't decide if any of the nine homes we saw today had the right fen shui and vibrations for her and did I think the seller would be willing to knock down a wall to make the home more harmonious? Mr. Richard's proclamations of my greatness was too much of a tax on my good nature.

As I rounded into the canned vegetables I laid into him. If he was so pleased to have a wonderful landlord like me, then he better figure out a way to call me before I call him. After all a man who says he is honorable certainly acts the part. An honorable man is upfront and proactive. Are you that man Mr. Richards? Or are you a man who skirts responsibility and waits for others to find you?

Here's a tip: if you want reduce a Southern man into fits of babbling embarrassment, just question his accountability.

The truth is, I really think Mr. Richards is just a flake who isn't used to doing things without the assistance of others. I suspect being single is a big challenge for him, as he has always had a mother/sister/wife to handle the everyday creature comforts he is used to. I also think he is really trying to build a better life for he and his son. He works two jobs. One is in an emergency room hospital, working 12 hour shifts. On the weekends he is a caretaker for an elderly woman he has been with for six years. He works there 12 hour shifts too.

I know the circumstances that put him into this financial predicament. They are legitimate. It wasn't from playing too hard. And, do I see the rent money coming in, just not on time. In my book, his biggest fault is that he doesn't seem to own a calendar.

This doesn't really change anything between us. I am the one owed. He is the one who pays. He can leave if he can't figure out how to write a check and slap a stamp on an envelope. I am crystal clear on this point and Legal Eagle is waiting in the wings.

As I rounded into produce Mr. Richards laid the bombshell on me. He is ready to buy. I can honestly say I had figured he had forgotten about this aspect of our contract. Given his track record, I was in no hurry to remind him. He apparently didn't forget. Once we established that I wouldn't discuss this until I was paid, I went into the similar speech I gave Mrs. 3001 recently.

I was at the cashier when I finally reached the crescendo of my speech. I said, "Those who don't take their rent seriously fail 100 percent of the time. I don't want this to be you."

The cashier muttered "Isn't that the truth," as I hung up with Mr. Richards.