Something is Rotten in the State of Denmark... Er, Britian

My apologies to Shakespeare. But, this latest episode just isn't passing my smell test.

Earlier this week, I received an e-mail from Mr. Thomas. He wanted to rent the home in Leeds. I gave him the standard, drive by and tell me if you want to call Carolsue e-mail response.

Monday I received another e-mail from Mr. Thomas. He lives in England. He is moving to the US on behalf of his company. He wanted the deposits broken down and wanted to know what he was responsible for. He wanted interior pictures.

I gave Mr. Thomas an application, broke down the deposits for him and told him the only photos I had were the ones he saw on Craig's List. I also told him he would need to give me proof he was able to work in the US.

I don't really get the whole "transferring to Birmingham Alabama" thing. Personally, I don't see what Birmingham has to offer as far as a great international employment destination. I happen to like Birmingham. I like the people. I like the city. I like the tourist destinations. I like the hiking (Check out Oak Mountain!). They have the basics for shopping (Costco). The traffic isn't that terrible--though the locals disagree with me on this point. I looked up his company. They have a location in the metro New Jersey area and San Diego. Now I am even more confused about the Birmingham connection.

Mr. Thomas e-mailed me again today. He said:

Thanks for the details on the apartment, i am satisfied and will like to go ahead with the renting process, i will like you to go ahead and reserve the apartment for me. I want the 1 year lease to start on the 25th Sept. 2008, i will also want to notify you that i have in the mean time arrange with an interior decorator who will be handling the purchase of furnitures,entertainment system and other appliances that i will need in the property,they will as well be incharge of moving down my luggages down to the states. So the check of $4700 will be sent over to you which is a relocation grant by my employer, and all you need to do is deduct the deposit $2000 and you will forward the rest to the Decorators so i can have the place all prepared for my arrival. I look forward to meeting you and hope to have a good relationship as a tenant with you.

Mr. Thomas hasn't sent back the application. Which I told him today would be the first step. I thanked him for his enthusiasm. But, pesky little administrative tasks still need to be handled. Like proving to me this isn't one of those Nigerian (British) money laundering schemes. Or, like this guy is legitimately who he says he is. And, I do need to verify his ability to work in the United States--like, say... a work Visa? I really don't need someone renting a home from me with no practical means of income.

Mr. Thomas also told me he was an insurance claims adjuster (insert groan here). A Christian. A family man, married to a "lovely woman" and had a young daughter who would both be staying in the UK. He told me he was "reserved in Nature" and was a non-smoker and didn't keep pets. He is perfect tenant material with the exception of a few minor issues--like his inability to fill out a simple form.

Next, let me get this straight: an interior decorator? For a house in Leeds? Leeds Alabama? And, I am to take this money and divvy it between this interior decorator and myself? I understand Mr. Thomas doesn't know the logistics on my end. But, certainly, there seems to be some level of common sense that if he can get one check--for my deposits--that he surly can get two. One for me and one for the interior decorator. His company he says he works for is a very large insurance company. They can handle cutting two checks.

If he works for this large insurance company which has international offices, why do they not have a relocation person handling Mr. Thomas' move? Why is Mr. Thomas doing this by himself? Why have they not sent him out to look over the area? Why is he moving overseas for a year without his family? Why is he unwilling to show me a letter from his company proving they are moving him and guaranteeing his income?

All that aside. Let's assume for a moment, Mr. Thomas is legitimate. He still hasn't proven to me I want to rent to him. I don't know a thing about him. I appreciate he wants to live in my home. But, it all ties back to that application. Fill it out. Surly he can fax it or scan it back to me. Which brings me to my final question. If this guy works as an insurance adjuster why is he resisting filling out some basic paperwork?

Nope, something doesn't smell right.