Behind the Reams

It isn't that I don't appreciate Bliz or my CPA. I do. Very much. But, I swear they are conspiring against me. What other reason could there be for the mountains of papers they make me keep?

Mount Thisneedstobefiled is an ongoing saga. CPA says I have to save everything for a period of time. This period of time depends upon whether the IRS is involved or not. For example, bank statements are saved longer than paid mortgage statements. But they are both stored at my home.

Every month I send Bliz (who lives in another state), all of my bills. Sometimes I fax them. Sometimes I scan them. Scanning and faxing bring their own user-competency technology challenges, which are too long and complicated for this post. It boils down to this: mailing her everything is easier. And less frustrating.

Bliz in turn does her magic and then sends it all back to me. I don't ask her to send the tons of paper back my way. She just figures it is her obligation to her office's storage capacity and sanity as well as her responsibility to me to dump it back on my lap....er, I mean return my possessions. I love that about her. She is so darned efficient. This is one area where I wish she would lax a bit. Keep my papers. Please!

My standard operating procedure is to take the monthly tons of paid bills Bliz returns to me and shove them in my "to be filed" basket sitting on a shelf in my office. My hope it to ignore it long enough that the papers file themselves. Instead what happens is that the papers in the basket end up spilling on to my desk, commingling with the other projects that were minding their own business. Once this happens all hell breaks loose and I can't find anything. I think the paper starts reproducing when I am not looking. But I can't be sure.

The other day, I opted to fax to Bliz (for the record, it took two attempts). A rare occurrence because of the aforementioned user/technology issues. Afterwards, I called Bliz and asked her if I faxed her a particular bill. She said yes. However, that particular item was sitting far away from everything else I had just faxed her. The rest of the pile was in my to be filed box.

Filing has always been my challenge. Years ago, I hired sweet young woman to help me with this. Unfortunately, she wasn't much of a filing clerk. I am still finding surprises--like a deed for one of my homes filed with bank statements. I have toyed with asking one of the neighborhood teenagers if they wanted to make a bit of money, but I really don't want the neighbors to know this much about my business. Every year, my CPA suggests I hire my children to help with the filing. My kids are in second grade and kindergarten. A very long time ago, my pedantically tidy husband offered to take over the filing. However, he swears that never happened and he denies saying it. For the record, I know he did. I just wish I had gotten it in writing. For now, I am filing.

Later today, I will be poised in front of the television. The Diamondbacks will be playing. I will have my two-hole punch, my portable filing cabinets and my labels ready to slap on to any file that needs one. Right now, I am just psyching myself up for the task at hand.