Vinegar Pie

In a moment of universal upheaval last Friday, while eating breakfast at Cindy's cafe at some horrid hour of dawn, I wanted to talk financials. Diamond Jim wanted to talk baseball. Of course, had I known what Diamond Jim wanted to say I probably would have completely ditched the financial conversation to begin with.

Friday morning, bright and cheery from breakfast and Jim's wonderful news (which I predicted--thankyouverymuch), I composted a sales pitch to Mr. Partner. No, that wasn't a typo.

There are many ways to say something. This past week my cyber-friend Lori and I have been having quick chats about "vinegar pie," the ability to serve up a heaping dose of the unpleasant in such a way that, in theory, it goes down smoothly. "Bless your heart..." is a great example.

Or, my favorite, "I mean this in the nicest way..." Now tell me, when have you ever heard this: "I mean this in the nicest way, I am pleased about your totally appropriate and honorable actions."? By including that opening clause, it is a lot easier for the intended audience to be open to your message.

In the report I sent to Mr. Partner, I started with some of the "opportunities" that have been handed to us. For example, one of our tenants wants to buy our home.

Mr. Partner has made it expressly clear, he has no interest in selling at a (perceived) loss. So, I explained that because of depreciation, we actually would be selling the house at a gain--and have to pay capital gains tax--and if we didn't sell this year, that "gain" would go up. But yea, we pretty much were selling it for less than we paid for it. I also gave him some somewhat legitimate numbers showing a significant loss if we chose to keep the house.

In truth, I have done the analysis, it is in our best interest to do this. Now. I don't like selling a home for less than we paid for it, but I don't like the idea of holding on to it for sentimental value either. We have done well by this property, but it is time for it to go.

I also told him I wanted to refinance one of our properties. And, I picked the home. It was the most logical choice in my mind: 1) it has a balloon note coming up in the next few years, 2) it is in a good neighborhood that hasn't seen a wave of foreclosures, thus the value is (presumably) stable, and 3) it is one of the homes with a loan in Marty Sunshine's name.

Not that I think Mr. Partner will question refinancing when we can get a better interest rate or that this house makes the most sense (it does), but we need to come in with some cash to make this happen. Mr. Partner isn't a fan of parting with his cash. For that matter, neither am I. But, I would rather come in with cash for this than because of a toxic chemical spill. This is the first summer in three years where we haven't had a toxic chemical spill.

What I didn't tell Mr. Partner, was if he doesn't agree to the refinance, Marty and I will do it ourselves anyway. We will phrase it like this, "I hope you understand, because I mean this in the nicest way..."