The Drama Diva

Last week, I was under the impression Artie and Candy moved out. Actually, as of Saturday, I was sure Candy had. She called me to say Artie still had a very large television left in the home and--here's a shock--they had broken up.

Her other issue was that she couldn't get in touch with Kirby, the property manager, who was now handling this house. And, what should she do with the keys? Given I had no clue what she should do with the keys, I thought of the only thing that vaguely made sense: I told Candy to call Carolsue, swing by her house and drop the keys off.

Candy, somehow interpreted this as call Carolsue, ask her to stop whatever she was doing and drive directly to Fultondale to pick up the keys. When Carolsue said, no, Candy could drop them off, Candy, through her sobs, mentioned she and Artie broke up. Fortunately, Carolsue is as cold-hearted as I am and didn't find Candy's episode any more compelling than I did.

Carolsue did tell Candy to hide the key in the shed. That worked for me. I wish I would have thought of that.

Later Saturday, I heard from Candy again, it turns out the subtext of all this drama was that she wanted me to mail her half of the security deposit to her as soon as humanly possible. Of course, that wasn't going to be possible until I heard what kind of condition the home was left in and where Artie's key happened to be.

But no matter, Artie also called me Saturday afteroon. His big TV was now out of the house and could he please call Kirby on Monday to turn in the key? He didn't want to disturb him over the weekend.

Oh, by the way, he and Candy broke up. But, he didn't add that last part through tears.