How Ironic This Happened In Leeds

Please understand, I mean this in the nicest way. If Ms. Betty didn't call me at least once a week, I would send out a search party. She has been renting the home in Leeds from me since November 5. In the past two months, she has probably spent more on long distance charges than she has on groceries.

Ms. Betty is as sweet as can be. However I have noticed a few glaring similarities between her and Mr. Smith--that is, she calls A LOT and has sent me pictures of her kids. I am hoping that will be where the similarities stop. I figure the phone calls are more related to an insecurity complex, with me, being an authority figure for her, and Ms. Betty needing some sort of validation. That is a pretty wordy way of saying she just wants me to like her.

When she called Sunday night, I wasn't surprised. After all, she was overdue for a check in. Usually her calls are inane, with a long drawn-out story of something that leads to an innocuous question. For example: her sister's next door neighbor's roommate's ex-brother-in-law was going out of town for the weekend and had absolutely nowhere to store his motorcycle/turtle/Uzi and would I mind terribly if the particular item would be stored with them for the weekend?

She would then assure me it would be gone Monday morning. And, after I said yes, she would ask if I was sure. We then go through the "are you sure" thing a couple of times before I gave a deep sigh suggesting if she asks one more time I may change my mind. That kind of thing.

Sunday night Ms. Betty wasn't calling for anything along those lines. She was calling to tell me she found a rat in her kitchen. At first I thought she meant one of the neighbors was in her home. However, after some clarification I discovered she meant the four legged kind.

Before I started this whole landlord in Birmingham thing, that would have completely freaked me out. With the exception of a few select neighborhoods in the Phoenix area, rats aren't something we deal in the desert on a regular basis. Scorpions and black widows are much more common.

After a few years of learning the lay of the land, I have found out that rats are really--for a lack of a better phrase--no big deal over there. In fact, Mountain Brook, the high end community (similar to the Phoenix suburb of Paradise Valley) is just as likely to have homes with rats as Leeds. It isn't about the condition of the home or the people living in it. The rats just live everywhere.

That said, I would prefer they didn't live in my homes. Ms. Betty prefers that too.

And, as of today Ms. Betty will be rodent free. However the two-legged rats will still be infesting the neighborhood.