The Name Game

When I spoke with Ms. Thomas earlier this week, it immediately struck me as odd that she introduced herself as "Ms. Thomas" but refused to call me by my last name. As I didn't know her first name, I just overlooked it and went on with our conversation. No matter, I never really expected I would hear from her again. And, I haven't.

However, Carolsue has. A lot. Ms. Thomas--who refuses to call Carolsue anything but "Carolsue," keeps correcting Carolsue when she refers to Ms. Thomas as "Corrine."

The formal way to address someone isn't my rule. Up until a few years ago, it wouldn't have been on my radar. It is a Southern thing. And, in a place where manners and decorum still are a forefront to their society, no self-respcting person from the South starts a conversation by calling a stranger by their first name. It was one of the very first lessons I learned when I started doing business in the South.

Apparently, everyone is Mr. or Ms. unless they tell you otherwise. If you don't know Mary's last name, you would refer to her as "Miss. Mary." Or, if you know she is married, it is "Mrs. Mary." The same goes for men. Mr. Jack was my agent until he gave me permission to call him Jack. (which was three nano-seconds after we were introduced).

However, once the other person calls you by only your first name, all bets are off. So, unless Ms. Thomas is a 70 year matronly old woman who may have earned her title, there is no reason why she is "Ms. Thomas" to Carolsue when she won't return the same courtesy.

Carolsue, who was born and raised in the South, and I discussed this. You see, Ms. Thomas has called Carolsue no less than 25 times in three days. The first several voice mails got progressively snippier, as Carolsue wasn't available in the three hour time frame these calls came in to return them.

Because Carolsue doesn't live very close to Wayward's former home, she can't just drop everything and show up. As ready as Ms. Thomas is to waltz through there, measuring the rooms to ensure her furnature fits, it just isn't practical. In fact, I don't even want any potential tenant in the home until the place is ready--which won't be until next Monday.

Ms. Thomas however won't be deterred. She is demanding special dispensation from Carolsue. Carolsue isn't budging and neither am I. There are saftey issues. And, although sometimes I forget the power structure between the two of us, I am pretty sure Carolsue works for me. Ms. Thomas doesn't see it that way. There is a potential place to live calling her name. Apparently she wants it. And, she wants to move in next weekend.

Not one to be intimitdated, Carolsue tells me she has started playing the equal footing game with Ms. Thomas.

CS: Look Corrine, I can't get over there until next week.
MT: It's Ms. Thomas, Carolsue...
CS: Corrine, It doesn't matter who y'all think you are. I still won't be there until next week.
MT: My name is Ms. Thomas.

This power struggle isn't really my concern. Carolsue can hold her own. Always looking for a new hobby, I can just see Carolsue lighting up a cigarrette, propping her feet up on her overstuffed ottoman, sitting back, ready to "Corrine" Ms. Thomas for the next few hours.

As for me? I am getting lots of calls on this place. And, so far Ms. Thomas is the only one who called me by my first name.