My experiences in the South is nothing if not informative. After all, to do business over there, one must speak the language. Forget "Might I inquire may I could possibly find a restroom where I could powder my nose?" Nobody anywhere says that anyway, unless you happen to be reading a poorly written self-published romance novel set in the 1930s. As we all know, Alabama is practically its own planet. Here are a few Southern catch phrases one must know to get by on Planet Bama. Please understand, in the South, subject-verb agreement and the usage of appropriate verb tenses are optional.
"Y'all": you. Singular
"All'y'all: all of you. Plural
"I'll tell you what..." a phrase uttered right before the person is going to tell you what is on their mind. This is usually either the prelude to some ridiculous true story, involving an alligator or other extra-large reptile or a stupid feat some teenage boy attempted. It is also preceded as the punchline for said true story. For example, "I'll tell y'all what, me and Bobby Joe thought for sure that two-headed gator was gonna eat us. But, I'll tell you what, he slinked back into the wild."
"It can only go up from here." A phrase that means your day can't possibly get any worse.
"A spell" an indefinite amount of time that sounds shorter than it really is.
"In due time" a longer spell.
"Roll Tide": 1) an appropriate greeting, salutation and good bye only in Alabama. Everywhere else it is the weird words to the University of Alabama's (or Alabama State University--I never remember) fight song. 2) a secret code to let others know you are not an Auburn University fan.
"Fixing to", verb. Translates to about to perform some act or thinking about performing some act. "I'm fixing to go to the swamp to see if I can find that alligator Bobby Joe and Bubba were talking about to all'y'all."
"Good Lord," exclamation that roughly translates to "good grief," "oh-no" or "holy cow."
Coke: noun, any indiscriminate carbonated soft drink that can be derived from any number of beverage distributors. Not to be confused with the stuff of the same name with the red and silver label (though the name can be used interchangeably).
Sweet Tea: A horrible concoction of leaves brewed in water saturated in sugar.
Tea: a tasty drink, never drunk by a true Southerner but enjoyed by the rest of us Yankees who prefer that our beverages don't knock us into a diabetic coma.
Buggy: noun, shopping cart.
Country: 1) a part of Alabama where people live that isn't Montgomery, Mobile or Birmingham. 2) adjective, description of person, place or thing to suggest someone(s) is an unsophisticated buffoon. "Don't worry about those folks fitting in that neighborhood in Leeds. They are as country as the rest of all'y'all."
Citified: adjective. Someone, some place or something that isn't country.
Redneck: someone who is country, but worse and doesn't care. Not necessarily an insult.
Give me a shout: phrase which translates to "contact me at your convenience."
Holler: can be exchanged for shout, such as "give me a holler."
"The Game": any University of Alabama sporting event.
"If the creek don't rise": A phrase which translates to if nothing unfortunate happens. "We will be watching the game tomorrow, if the creek don't rise."
Reckon: To acknowledge truth. "I reckon the I-20 is the the best way to get to Atlanta, if you are citified."
Bless your heart: An all encompassing phrase that means anything along the lines of, "that is truly unfortunate" but more likely translates to, "up yours." "Oh, I see you regularly cut people off in traffic and drive like a crazy person. You aren't from around here, bless your heart."
God love you: A qualifier inserted after "Bless your heart," to let the recipient know you mean no ill will.
The Civil War: an unfortunate event in US history where the Northern states were fixing to get some funny ideas, Bless their hearts.
TV voice: someone who does not speak with a Southern drawl. The first time I heard this was from my friend Jeanne, who shared with me a story about a clerk in Southern Alabama telling her she had a "TV voice." But I have since been accused of having such thing myself.
Monday, March 06, 2017
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See? Your time spent in the south wasn't wasted! You learn a whole pack of stuff! BTW "I'll tell you what" is also the preface to a butt chewing. Example: "I'll tell you what I'm fixin' to do if you don't get outta that mud!" Another popular southern term is "spittin" (we don't include "g"'s down here...waste of energy.) Example: "That man riled me up until I was spittin'!"
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