Author's Note: I would like to send out my personal thanks to Steve Nash. Thank you. If you don't sign with the Suns that's ok. Best of luck to you.
Before my meeting with Flip, Carolsue, a Birmingham paralegal for numerous years, sat me down and advised me on how to effectively deal with Flip. According to Carolsue, I was to channel my inner "white Yankee bitch." Apparently, playing it polite and professional was not going to work with Southern male lawyers and I needed to take the white gloves off and be ready to go off on Flip at a moment's notice.
And, after waiting a good 30 minutes for Flip (10 because I showed up early to our meeting), I was had my "I am your worst nightmare" attitude chambered and ready to go at a moment's notice. Of course, I had a smile on my face the entire time.
Flip and I started the meeting with Flip telling me how everyone loved Attorney Jon. Which is a sentiment I happen to agree with. Attorney Jon was wonderful. And then he candidly told me the how Attorney Jon died.
And, because three people on this trip alone independently brought the circumstances of his death (again) to my attention, it is either the worst kept secret in the South or common knowledge. So, I am ok writing about it at this point. Attorney Jon took his life. I have known this for almost a year ago. And, for those of you playing along on the Sage Business home edition, perhaps you can see why this has been so painful and difficult for me to process Attorney Jon's death. So, give a girl a break, will you?
Anyway, back to Flip. After the customary how-do-you-dos, and speaking about Attorney Jon and the family he left behind, Flip started explaining what legal steps I can take, including malpractice. Otherwise, he would be happy to find the right lawyer to take care of my issue as well. I stopped him right there and explained there was no reason to go the malpractice route. I don't want to get Mrs. Late Attorney Jon or his children involved. I just want my issue fixed.
And, I didn't think my problem was a tough issue, but one that needed a legal-type to finish for me. Essentially, my situation isn't a disaster, we are just extremely vulnerable if the wrong sorts find out. We need to be protected properly. Attorney Jon was to have handled this.
As we spent several moments going through my papers, with me showing him the precedents and the documents that led up to my unfortunate situation, I wasn't comfortable I had won Flip over. I was ready. I had white Yankee bitch on reserve.
And then, out of the blue, Flip turned to me, paused for a moment and then said, "So, do you think Steve Nash will re-sign with the Suns?"
I have no idea. I don't follow basketball. "I hope so. He was a valuable contribution last year," I replied. Apparently that was the right answer.
And Flip eased up.
A few minutes later, Flip and I were sharing fun memories of Attorney Jon. Flip was telling me about his daughter who is about to enter college and took a vow of purity. He handed me a business card and then took out the legal pad. He asked me if Marty Sunshine went by Marty or Martin. And he wrote down the answer. And just to put me completely at ease from that point forward, he didn't take the next 970 phone calls that came in for him while I was there.
As we were parting I asked what the next steps happened to be. And, I got a reasonable answer. Flip doesn't feel I have been harmed (no malpractice necessary, Attorney Jon's widow doesn't have to be involved). However, there is some neglect. And, he agrees we are vulnerable. Provided the other parties in question are reasonable (meaning we don't have to go to court--and he did ask if necessary would I testify about some of the papers I gave him), this shouldn't cost me that much to fix. I don't see how this will go to court. The other parties involved would have a hard time getting legal counsel to represent them under the circumstances. I am in the right.
When I left, I was emotionally spent. This had been the crux of my trip. I need this fixed. It can harm us if it is left undone. And now, it looks like it will be done.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Why Do Elephants Have Red Toenails?
*To hide in the strawberry patch. Duh!
I had dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack on Tuesday night. For the most part, it was a lovely meal, with good company and great conversation. Except there was an elephant in the room.
You know what it is like when there is an elephant in the room, right? Wouldn't it just be nice if a conversation could go like this:
Person 1: "Hey did you see that elephant in the room?"
Person 2: "Yea, I wonder how it got in. Did you leave the door open?"
Person 1: "No, but the window was ajar when I was here a bit earlier. Perhaps it snuck in."
Person 1 and 2 in unison: "Hmmm..."
Instead, it goes something like this:
Person 1: "Do you smell something?"
Person 2: "Aren't those peanut shells on the floor?"
Person 1: "Is that ivory right over there next to that big lumpy gray thing?"
Person 1 and 2 in unison: "Hmmm..."
In our case, the elephant was my meeting with Flip. You see, Mr. and Mrs. Jack are very good friends with Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. Flip, the attorney assigned by the Alabama BAR Association to handle all things related to Late Attorney Jon, had to ask the Mrs. Late Attorney Jon for my files. And, of course, there was no explanation other than I was coming to town and the Late Attorney Jon didn't finish what he started. One could (very easily) speculate this might be cause for a malpractice claim.
So, there I was having dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack. And every so often the conversation would steer to Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. Or, out of the blue Jack would say something like "What brings you to Birmingham?" or "So, have you had any business meetings since you arrived?" or "What do you plan on doing at 2:27 p.m. on Wednesday?"
I decided, as soon as I caught on to his line of questioning, not to tell him anything unless he asked flat out. It doesn't concern Jack. And I don't want to tell him his dear friend of 30 years kinda missed the boat on a simple matter he was supposed to take care of. But, if he came out and asked, I would have shared--in a simple, let's-not-get-carried-away-it-is-no-big-deal-sort-of-fashion. I trust Jack completely, I just don't want him involved with this.
However, Jack didn't ask. Instead, he danced around it, so I made a game of waiting to see how long it would take him to get to the point. Possibly next week when I am up to it, I will send him a quick note and mention I saw Flip (turns out they know each other). And, maybe I will also causally mention I saw the elephant in the room.
I had dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack on Tuesday night. For the most part, it was a lovely meal, with good company and great conversation. Except there was an elephant in the room.
You know what it is like when there is an elephant in the room, right? Wouldn't it just be nice if a conversation could go like this:
Person 1: "Hey did you see that elephant in the room?"
Person 2: "Yea, I wonder how it got in. Did you leave the door open?"
Person 1: "No, but the window was ajar when I was here a bit earlier. Perhaps it snuck in."
Person 1 and 2 in unison: "Hmmm..."
Instead, it goes something like this:
Person 1: "Do you smell something?"
Person 2: "Aren't those peanut shells on the floor?"
Person 1: "Is that ivory right over there next to that big lumpy gray thing?"
Person 1 and 2 in unison: "Hmmm..."
In our case, the elephant was my meeting with Flip. You see, Mr. and Mrs. Jack are very good friends with Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. Flip, the attorney assigned by the Alabama BAR Association to handle all things related to Late Attorney Jon, had to ask the Mrs. Late Attorney Jon for my files. And, of course, there was no explanation other than I was coming to town and the Late Attorney Jon didn't finish what he started. One could (very easily) speculate this might be cause for a malpractice claim.
So, there I was having dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack. And every so often the conversation would steer to Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. Or, out of the blue Jack would say something like "What brings you to Birmingham?" or "So, have you had any business meetings since you arrived?" or "What do you plan on doing at 2:27 p.m. on Wednesday?"
I decided, as soon as I caught on to his line of questioning, not to tell him anything unless he asked flat out. It doesn't concern Jack. And I don't want to tell him his dear friend of 30 years kinda missed the boat on a simple matter he was supposed to take care of. But, if he came out and asked, I would have shared--in a simple, let's-not-get-carried-away-it-is-no-big-deal-sort-of-fashion. I trust Jack completely, I just don't want him involved with this.
However, Jack didn't ask. Instead, he danced around it, so I made a game of waiting to see how long it would take him to get to the point. Possibly next week when I am up to it, I will send him a quick note and mention I saw Flip (turns out they know each other). And, maybe I will also causally mention I saw the elephant in the room.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Wednesday
Before meeting with Flip today, I swung into Our Lady of Sorrows for a quick word with Jesus. It turns out I ran across another old friend too.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A Bama Day
Let me just begin by saying Birmingham-ites are wimps. They think they have "heavy traffic." They think it is hot. They think they have illegal immigration issues. Stand in line behind us Zonies!
Now that we have that out of the way....
I left the hotel today at 8 a.m. only to find out that my Leeds house was also not where I left it. And, if you want to know the whole truth, Ashville Road--one of the main drags into Leeds--had also taken leave. Thanks to a nice gentleman who gave me directions like, "stay on this road a spell, then turn left at the fourth blue mailbox and then two rights and another left at the second church you see," I was able to successfully find my way back to I-20 in only three tries.
I also inspected four houses today.
Home number one: the tenant told me some seriously personal information that should only be reserved for a therapist. I am not sure how I was supposed to react. I chose to skedaddle. Before all that though, I did get a chance to check everything out. The house was in good condition. She asked if she could paint and would I be willing to fix the rotted wood in the deck. Yes to both. The rotted wood was a bit of a concern to me. How long had she been living under those conditions? She swore not long.
The next homes Kirby came with me. The first one is my only foray into Section 8 housing. The place was clean, and well cared for. However, this tenant and I had gone back and forth about her dogs, with my answer being no, she could not have them. Her dog wasn't there. But there was evidence he had been there very recently. Good old Kirby can look into that.
Another interesting note about the Section 8 tenant: she drove a Suburban. She also had an Escalade in her garage. She also had nicer furnishings than I, including lots of expensive toys. Her children were in daycare--though she doesn't work.
When I mentioned to Kirby that she sure did live well for someone on Section 8. He pointed out that she doesn't actually own anything. Rent-to-own places call his company all the time trying to track down wayward tenants. It made me slightly sick to see this. I work hard for my money (or lack thereof) and here we have someone living on the tax dollars of someone else. I really do feel like I have compromised my principals on renting to her. At the time, this was the best we could get. I am not sure I want to renew her lease when it comes up.
The second house Kirby and I went to is out in the country. I actually had never been there before And, ironically, Kirby told me the house had moved since he had last been there too, as we drove around on the top of the mountain, through the woods tograndmother's house my rental home. I had seen pictures, and I kinda knew what to expect--two acres, in good shape, cute house with a full front porch that is aching for a swing. But I was pleasantly surprised anyway, It was all of the above and then some. The tenants never want to leave (tenants always say that--and you know what, I don't always agree with them on that particular point). The house was spotless and was it ok if they put up a fence at their own expense?
The last home was my Fultondale property. The family that lives there now grew up in the area. They have six kids and the place was spotless, sans the plumbers who were fixing the leaking master shower. I knew about the master shower and wasn't surprised to see them. I was surprised to see the pit bull-great dane mix that was living in the back yard without a fence. Kirby gets to deal with that too.
The tenants were too chatty for my taste. I find that overly friendly tenants in general like to win me over, but don't have a lot of substance. Kirby agreed. He had noticed that about them too. The wife was a bit miffed and repeatedly let me know it. Apparently the plumbers she requested a couple of weeks ago came out today to fix the shower and what a coincidence that I just happened to come in town too. Again, I wasn't sure what to say, so I said "I'm glad it is getting fixed" and "I'm sorry Mr. Kirby didn't take care of it before this" (Earlier, in his office, Mr. Kirby showed me the work orders, including the number of times his staff called them to set appointments and the tenants didn't call back or postponed the plumbers.). Whatever I said didn't seem to satisfy her. Sorry her shower leaked. It is being fixed. Can we please drop it now?
The tenants asked if they could paint. Sure. Why not--especially if it means we can talk about something other than her broken shower. Then they asked if we would be willing to sell. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The house needs some general maintenance. The tenants like being there. The place cash flows, but I could use the equity elsewhere. We left it with 1: the dog goes and 2: let me check with Marty Sunshine. And if we decide to sell later, than sooner, they can have first rights of refusal.
I rounded out the day with dinner with friends (more on that later) and made it back to the hotel in time to see the Braves annihilate my Diamondbacks.
Off to bed so that I can get ready for my big date with Flip.
Now that we have that out of the way....
I left the hotel today at 8 a.m. only to find out that my Leeds house was also not where I left it. And, if you want to know the whole truth, Ashville Road--one of the main drags into Leeds--had also taken leave. Thanks to a nice gentleman who gave me directions like, "stay on this road a spell, then turn left at the fourth blue mailbox and then two rights and another left at the second church you see," I was able to successfully find my way back to I-20 in only three tries.
I also inspected four houses today.
Home number one: the tenant told me some seriously personal information that should only be reserved for a therapist. I am not sure how I was supposed to react. I chose to skedaddle. Before all that though, I did get a chance to check everything out. The house was in good condition. She asked if she could paint and would I be willing to fix the rotted wood in the deck. Yes to both. The rotted wood was a bit of a concern to me. How long had she been living under those conditions? She swore not long.
The next homes Kirby came with me. The first one is my only foray into Section 8 housing. The place was clean, and well cared for. However, this tenant and I had gone back and forth about her dogs, with my answer being no, she could not have them. Her dog wasn't there. But there was evidence he had been there very recently. Good old Kirby can look into that.
Another interesting note about the Section 8 tenant: she drove a Suburban. She also had an Escalade in her garage. She also had nicer furnishings than I, including lots of expensive toys. Her children were in daycare--though she doesn't work.
When I mentioned to Kirby that she sure did live well for someone on Section 8. He pointed out that she doesn't actually own anything. Rent-to-own places call his company all the time trying to track down wayward tenants. It made me slightly sick to see this. I work hard for my money (or lack thereof) and here we have someone living on the tax dollars of someone else. I really do feel like I have compromised my principals on renting to her. At the time, this was the best we could get. I am not sure I want to renew her lease when it comes up.
The second house Kirby and I went to is out in the country. I actually had never been there before And, ironically, Kirby told me the house had moved since he had last been there too, as we drove around on the top of the mountain, through the woods to
The last home was my Fultondale property. The family that lives there now grew up in the area. They have six kids and the place was spotless, sans the plumbers who were fixing the leaking master shower. I knew about the master shower and wasn't surprised to see them. I was surprised to see the pit bull-great dane mix that was living in the back yard without a fence. Kirby gets to deal with that too.
The tenants were too chatty for my taste. I find that overly friendly tenants in general like to win me over, but don't have a lot of substance. Kirby agreed. He had noticed that about them too. The wife was a bit miffed and repeatedly let me know it. Apparently the plumbers she requested a couple of weeks ago came out today to fix the shower and what a coincidence that I just happened to come in town too. Again, I wasn't sure what to say, so I said "I'm glad it is getting fixed" and "I'm sorry Mr. Kirby didn't take care of it before this" (Earlier, in his office, Mr. Kirby showed me the work orders, including the number of times his staff called them to set appointments and the tenants didn't call back or postponed the plumbers.). Whatever I said didn't seem to satisfy her. Sorry her shower leaked. It is being fixed. Can we please drop it now?
The tenants asked if they could paint. Sure. Why not--especially if it means we can talk about something other than her broken shower. Then they asked if we would be willing to sell. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The house needs some general maintenance. The tenants like being there. The place cash flows, but I could use the equity elsewhere. We left it with 1: the dog goes and 2: let me check with Marty Sunshine. And if we decide to sell later, than sooner, they can have first rights of refusal.
I rounded out the day with dinner with friends (more on that later) and made it back to the hotel in time to see the Braves annihilate my Diamondbacks.
Off to bed so that I can get ready for my big date with Flip.
Monday, June 25, 2012
My Trip To Birmingham So Far
The second most annoying aspect of my trip is that Birmingham has moved everything. The car rental place was no longer located where it was last time I was in Birmingham. The hotel I have stayed out countless times before wasn't where I thought it would be. The freeway exit I used wasn't there. In fact, the freeway exit I accidently took dumped me off into East Lake. ("East Lake" is synomous with a very creepy part of town. Jack told me a story once of him owning rentals in East Lake and watching a mob riot through his rentals with him helplessly watching. As a general rule, I stay out of East Lake.)
And, after going out this morning to view my rentals, the three I found were not where I left them last year. However, from what I could see when I finally did track them down, they were all in reasonable condtion. I noticed Ms. Angie's roof looked really great--and then I realized we just put a roof on her home, so it better look great.
The most annoying aspect of my trip is a nasty stomach bug I picked up. And for the record, it wasn't Carolsue's fault.
And, after going out this morning to view my rentals, the three I found were not where I left them last year. However, from what I could see when I finally did track them down, they were all in reasonable condtion. I noticed Ms. Angie's roof looked really great--and then I realized we just put a roof on her home, so it better look great.
The most annoying aspect of my trip is a nasty stomach bug I picked up. And for the record, it wasn't Carolsue's fault.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Fried Chicken, Her Granny's Southern Baked Beans, Banana Cream Pie and Something with Bourbon
Carolsue is feeding me dinner tonight. Apparently she has been slaving over a hot stove for two weeks. I am getting a six-course Southern meal. Which is very useful because my flight is timed so that I don't get lunch.
When Carolsue sent me the menu last week, she wrote the following: "Here's the menu. What aren't you allergic to?" Of course, the answer was I am allergic to just about everything. But no matter. Dinner with Carolsue will be a good way to start my Birmingham trip. I hope to be a good guest and not go into anaphylaxis.
When Carolsue sent me the menu last week, she wrote the following: "Here's the menu. What aren't you allergic to?" Of course, the answer was I am allergic to just about everything. But no matter. Dinner with Carolsue will be a good way to start my Birmingham trip. I hope to be a good guest and not go into anaphylaxis.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Flip Flop*
*Ok, seriously? You didn't see that coming?
Word got to Flip through his second cousin's fifth grade teacher's barber's brother's son's piano teacher that I wanted to spend 30 minutes of time with Mr. Flip. And I now have an appointment.
Word got to Flip through his second cousin's fifth grade teacher's barber's brother's son's piano teacher that I wanted to spend 30 minutes of time with Mr. Flip. And I now have an appointment.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Flipping Off*
*Come now, you knew that headline was coming.
Did I mention nothing, and I mean nothing, happens in concurrence with the Roman calendar in the South?
Still trying to get in touch with Flip. I have resorted to stalking him via e-mail (with me politely explaining how I got his e-mail in the first place), smoke signals and carrier pigeons. Still nothing. What I haven't done is hunt down his first cousin's next door neighbor's best friend in sixth grade who might get a message to him. That's how things seem to work in the South. It is faster than a telephone.
I know I have a few other options, including but not limited to:
Did I mention nothing, and I mean nothing, happens in concurrence with the Roman calendar in the South?
Still trying to get in touch with Flip. I have resorted to stalking him via e-mail (with me politely explaining how I got his e-mail in the first place), smoke signals and carrier pigeons. Still nothing. What I haven't done is hunt down his first cousin's next door neighbor's best friend in sixth grade who might get a message to him. That's how things seem to work in the South. It is faster than a telephone.
I know I have a few other options, including but not limited to:
- Contacting the Alabama BAR
- Contacting another lawyer
- Suing Attorney Jon's estate for malpractice
- Forgetting the whole thing, because after all this particular issue hasn't been resolved in years--though it should have been.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Flipping Out
Getting to see Flip, the lawyer I really need to see, is an exercise in patience and perseverance. So far I have gotten an introduction from Legal Eagle--with his blessing for me to call him. Then I called him and was ignored. Then I called again and spoke to his partner's paralegal (his apparently was on vacation) who relayed a message to Mr. Flip.
Mr. Flip, in turn, relayed a message to his partner's paralegal that he "might" be able to see me but first he needs to get my file from the Late Mrs. Attorney Jon--who has all of the Late Attorney Jon's files. And, what was this about exactly?
I managed to summarize the brief synopsis I sent to Legal Eagle a couple of weeks ago, into a more condensed version, which included words like, "a simple matter that can be easily resolved" and "no big issue really" and "I am only going to be in town for just a couple of days." However, I suspect this is going to be a huge issue that won't be easily resolved and will require more patience and perseverance. But I am trying to keep positive thoughts.
I am supposed to call back Friday if I haven't heard from Flip by then.
And I am guessing I know exactly what I will be doing on Friday.
Mr. Flip, in turn, relayed a message to his partner's paralegal that he "might" be able to see me but first he needs to get my file from the Late Mrs. Attorney Jon--who has all of the Late Attorney Jon's files. And, what was this about exactly?
I managed to summarize the brief synopsis I sent to Legal Eagle a couple of weeks ago, into a more condensed version, which included words like, "a simple matter that can be easily resolved" and "no big issue really" and "I am only going to be in town for just a couple of days." However, I suspect this is going to be a huge issue that won't be easily resolved and will require more patience and perseverance. But I am trying to keep positive thoughts.
I am supposed to call back Friday if I haven't heard from Flip by then.
And I am guessing I know exactly what I will be doing on Friday.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Strictly Business
There really is a method to my madness. I promise.
Before lawyer costs, assuming I can get the home rented within a month, and assuming Ms. Kathy leaves the home in reasonable condition, I stand to loose about $3000 in the next year if I let her leave. Why?
Ms. Kathy pays a premium for her neighborhood. Rents dropped about two years ago. They are leveling off, but they are still lower than they were when she moved in. But, then again, I pay a premium for Ms. Kathy.
I don't have to hire a property manager to manage Ms. Kathy. But, I will with the next tenant. That alone is a drop of 10 percent (or whatever I negotiate) of what ever I get for rent.
This home is a three bedroom, one bath with no carport or garage. I didn't know that when I bought it. The realtor lied. I get more than market-share for rent, so I don't have a case to go after the realtor for lying. However, three bedroom, one bath homes with no carports aren't as desirable as a three bedroom, two bath home with a garage. If you see what I mean.
So, when Ms. Kathy came back to me--on her own mind you--saying she wanted to stay, and here is her realistic plan for being current, I was willing to entertain her offer. What she didn't know is that I will loose money if she leaves. What I knew (but didn't tell her) is that she has very strong ties to the neighborhood, having grown up a few homes down the block and her sister lives next door. That was motivation for her to figure out how to make this work.
What I also didn't tell her was in early July I will evict her out on the street if she doesn't follow through like she said she would. It really is only a few weeks away. But, we can keep that to ourselves for now.
Before lawyer costs, assuming I can get the home rented within a month, and assuming Ms. Kathy leaves the home in reasonable condition, I stand to loose about $3000 in the next year if I let her leave. Why?
Ms. Kathy pays a premium for her neighborhood. Rents dropped about two years ago. They are leveling off, but they are still lower than they were when she moved in. But, then again, I pay a premium for Ms. Kathy.
I don't have to hire a property manager to manage Ms. Kathy. But, I will with the next tenant. That alone is a drop of 10 percent (or whatever I negotiate) of what ever I get for rent.
This home is a three bedroom, one bath with no carport or garage. I didn't know that when I bought it. The realtor lied. I get more than market-share for rent, so I don't have a case to go after the realtor for lying. However, three bedroom, one bath homes with no carports aren't as desirable as a three bedroom, two bath home with a garage. If you see what I mean.
So, when Ms. Kathy came back to me--on her own mind you--saying she wanted to stay, and here is her realistic plan for being current, I was willing to entertain her offer. What she didn't know is that I will loose money if she leaves. What I knew (but didn't tell her) is that she has very strong ties to the neighborhood, having grown up a few homes down the block and her sister lives next door. That was motivation for her to figure out how to make this work.
What I also didn't tell her was in early July I will evict her out on the street if she doesn't follow through like she said she would. It really is only a few weeks away. But, we can keep that to ourselves for now.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Flipping for Joy
In keeping with a quirkiness I have only experienced in the Southern part of the United States, this new lawyer has stereotypical weird nickname generally reserved for 1970s game show contestants clad in leisure suits. If you are a lawyer, should you do business by your nickname? Even in the South?
I am pleased to tell you that my 17 paragraph "brief synopsis" was enough for Legal Eagle to pave the way for me to call Flip* (new lawyer) to set a possible appointment. The message I left made me sound like a 14 year old wallflower. I cringed as I spoke into this guy's voicemail, wondering if I sounded professional and not desperate--though I am pretty sure I sounded neither. Hopefully he will call me back.
*As with almost everything on this blog, names are changed to protect the unassuming. But, his name is sorta-close to "Flip".
I am pleased to tell you that my 17 paragraph "brief synopsis" was enough for Legal Eagle to pave the way for me to call Flip* (new lawyer) to set a possible appointment. The message I left made me sound like a 14 year old wallflower. I cringed as I spoke into this guy's voicemail, wondering if I sounded professional and not desperate--though I am pretty sure I sounded neither. Hopefully he will call me back.
*As with almost everything on this blog, names are changed to protect the unassuming. But, his name is sorta-close to "Flip".
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Rules of Engagement
Apparently it is easier to crash a White House State Dinner than it is to get an appointment with this lawyer. Legal Eagle sent me an e-mail on Tuesday asking for a "brief synopsis" of what Attorney Jon was working on for me before his untimely passing. She wants to give this to the lawyer as part of vetting me.
The "brief synopsis" of course will not be brief. And, of course, what will naturally follow is an extended version of the synopsis which will be entitled "Epic Novel Volume 1". All this to get an appointment--which I am not guaranteed to get.
One might ask why I don't just call this lawyer guy myself? Because, believe it or not, going through Legal Eagle is faster and I have more credibility. That's how business is done in the South.
The "brief synopsis" of course will not be brief. And, of course, what will naturally follow is an extended version of the synopsis which will be entitled "Epic Novel Volume 1". All this to get an appointment--which I am not guaranteed to get.
One might ask why I don't just call this lawyer guy myself? Because, believe it or not, going through Legal Eagle is faster and I have more credibility. That's how business is done in the South.
Saturday, June 09, 2012
The Important Stuff
I am starting to make my list of things I need to do while in Birmingham. At this moment, the brunt of my schedule hinges on when Legal Eagle can get me in front of this lawyer, if Ms. Kathy is going to move out quietly (here's hoping. Still no word from her on my modest proposal) and Kirby's schedule. I heard from Kirby's third cousin's recptionist's hairdresser's babysitter that he is expecting me. But, I haven't heard it from Kirby.
I'm also planning my free time: which usually consists of dinner with Jack, avoiding arrest with Carolsue (we've come close a few times) and probably walk around a charming little park in Trussville, Alabama just to avoid staring at my hotel room walls for hours on end.
Mr. Wonderful, my newest tenant--he lives next to Mr. 114 in Alabaster--asked me to stop by if I had time and say hello. I am not sure I want to drive an additional 40 miles one way just to say hi and then have an awkward silence for the next 20 minutes trying to find some reason for me to be there. Maybe on my next trip.
To my relief, it turns out knitting needles are permitted on the airplane in my carryon bag. At least now I will have something to do on the airplane and while in Birmingham if I can't get my appointments scheduled.
I'm also planning my free time: which usually consists of dinner with Jack, avoiding arrest with Carolsue (we've come close a few times) and probably walk around a charming little park in Trussville, Alabama just to avoid staring at my hotel room walls for hours on end.
Mr. Wonderful, my newest tenant--he lives next to Mr. 114 in Alabaster--asked me to stop by if I had time and say hello. I am not sure I want to drive an additional 40 miles one way just to say hi and then have an awkward silence for the next 20 minutes trying to find some reason for me to be there. Maybe on my next trip.
To my relief, it turns out knitting needles are permitted on the airplane in my carryon bag. At least now I will have something to do on the airplane and while in Birmingham if I can't get my appointments scheduled.
Thursday, June 07, 2012
I Did It
There has been a shift in universe.
For once, Ms. Kathy actually gave me a sob story when I wasn't in the middle of dealing with six other tenants moving, the holidays, me refinancing my home and needing a good-standing lease in place or other drama that caused me to focus my energies elsewhere.
In fact, to her credit, she actually e-mailed me three days after rent was due. This was an awesome change from the months in the past where I would have to hunt her down to hear her sob stories (and shock of shock to Ms. Kathy, I already knew the rent promised wasn't showing up), let her make amends and promise to deliver.
This month's sob story was complete with a subtext that said: "Paying rent is not a priority." Her e-mail was of the friendly sort, disguising a an epic drama about how she had other bills due and her daughter is knocked up and Ms. Kathy is having to pay her bills too. All this was leading up to the anti-climatic point: could she send $50 a week for the next few weeks and then pay me a bit more next month? Of course, she quickly bypassed the part where she didn't have this month's rent. But, I figured it out.
Ms. Kathy's e-mail ended with this bit of brilliance, " I love living where I do. I really don't want to move..."
I wrote her back something equally as friendly, suggesting our relationship just wasn't a win-win at this point. And, perhaps it was time to find a place to live that wasn't as financially cumbersome as where she is now. Therefore let's plan on handing over keys on July 6, shall we? I also mentioned I was coming to town and wanted to do a walk through while I am there. So, let me know what day was going to work for her. And by the way, no hard feelings. Okay?
For once, Ms. Kathy actually gave me a sob story when I wasn't in the middle of dealing with six other tenants moving, the holidays, me refinancing my home and needing a good-standing lease in place or other drama that caused me to focus my energies elsewhere.
In fact, to her credit, she actually e-mailed me three days after rent was due. This was an awesome change from the months in the past where I would have to hunt her down to hear her sob stories (and shock of shock to Ms. Kathy, I already knew the rent promised wasn't showing up), let her make amends and promise to deliver.
This month's sob story was complete with a subtext that said: "Paying rent is not a priority." Her e-mail was of the friendly sort, disguising a an epic drama about how she had other bills due and her daughter is knocked up and Ms. Kathy is having to pay her bills too. All this was leading up to the anti-climatic point: could she send $50 a week for the next few weeks and then pay me a bit more next month? Of course, she quickly bypassed the part where she didn't have this month's rent. But, I figured it out.
Ms. Kathy's e-mail ended with this bit of brilliance, " I love living where I do. I really don't want to move..."
I wrote her back something equally as friendly, suggesting our relationship just wasn't a win-win at this point. And, perhaps it was time to find a place to live that wasn't as financially cumbersome as where she is now. Therefore let's plan on handing over keys on July 6, shall we? I also mentioned I was coming to town and wanted to do a walk through while I am there. So, let me know what day was going to work for her. And by the way, no hard feelings. Okay?
Monday, June 04, 2012
June 4
Today is June 4. Last month I had this crazy idea that I would be in Birmingham on June 4 to take care of Birmingham business.
That hasn't happened. I haven't even bought my ticket. Though, I am pleased to say, I have managed to contact Legal Eagle and Kirby and tell them I am thinking about coming to town. What would work for them?
Legal Eagle got back to me and told me if I wanted to see her, she would be at the beach. Bummer. I won't be. She also told me there is someone handling Attorney Jon's unfinished business--which hopefully includes my issue he never took care of two years ago. But, I will settle for getting it handled now. Hopefully it will be resolved. I hate having to start this over. Legal Eagle offered to set up an introduction and get the ball rolling. Bless her.
I am waiting for word Kirby will be available before I book my ticket. Then I will fill in all the ancillaries--dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack, driving by a few of my homes, etc. That's the easy stuff.
That hasn't happened. I haven't even bought my ticket. Though, I am pleased to say, I have managed to contact Legal Eagle and Kirby and tell them I am thinking about coming to town. What would work for them?
Legal Eagle got back to me and told me if I wanted to see her, she would be at the beach. Bummer. I won't be. She also told me there is someone handling Attorney Jon's unfinished business--which hopefully includes my issue he never took care of two years ago. But, I will settle for getting it handled now. Hopefully it will be resolved. I hate having to start this over. Legal Eagle offered to set up an introduction and get the ball rolling. Bless her.
I am waiting for word Kirby will be available before I book my ticket. Then I will fill in all the ancillaries--dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack, driving by a few of my homes, etc. That's the easy stuff.
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