The "Roof Leak"

Ms. Shirley and I are in month two of the water leak drama.

Here's how it stands. Ms. Shirley lives in a 10 year old home. The bonus room--where the offending water leak resides--is an unfinished room above her garage. The ceiling is finished; the walls are studs. The floor is plywood. There is a window overlooking the front yard. This room is an Alabama home's answer to an attic space. Ms. Shirley uses this room for storage and as a playroom for her son.

According to Ms. Shirley, there is a "wet" spot on the floor in this room. According to Mr. 114 (her next door neighbor and my some-time handyman) there is no evidence of a soft spot or discoloration in the finished ceiling. There are no missing roof tiles. There are no pipes in the floor or ceiling below or above this spot that might be leaking. There are no roof vents above this spot where there might be a flashing issue. The spot is not near the window, thus Mr. 114 came to the conclusion her son spilled something on the floor and it discolored the plywood.

Over the course of time Ms. Shirley has lived in my home, Mr. 114 has told me a few things about her. For example, once she came zipping into Mr. 114's driveway, laying on the horn of her car until Mr. 114 came out the door. There was a frog on her driveway and she needed Mr. 114 to remove it. Apparently Ms. Shirley is terrified of critters.

I was also told by Mr. 114 that Ms. Shirley once asked Mr. 114 if he thought I would replace the stove for her. Why? Because her electric bill was $300 one month. Mr. 114 (who told me about this after it was over with) explained that it wasn't likely to happen and went over to see if he could figure out why her electric bill was so high. First, the air conditioner was running and the house was freezing. Second, the attic/bonus room door was open, allowing the cool air to escape. Mr. 114 suggested a couple of energy-saving modifications and voila! Ms. Shirley's bill was reduced the following month.

I am also told Ms. Shirley doesn't like dust, mold or dirt. All of which sets her into a bit of a frenzy. Not liking animals or dirt are wonderful traits to have in a tenant. Except when there is a discrepancy about a water leak.

Part of me is thinking Ms. Shirley wants out and is going to eventually scream "toxic mold" because of this "water leak." Part of me thinks she really feels there is an issue. There is no part of me that feels this leak is legitimate.

Ms. Shirley has gone so far as to call a roofer, tell the roofer I AM OUT OF TOWN AND HAVE NOT SEEN THIS and could she get a quote. The roofer told her I could have insurance pay for the roof and he could put it on as soon as possible. Even if there is a roof leak, the house certainly doesn't need a new roof. I would think it might need a shingle or two at the most. If that.

I explained to Ms. Shirley that I have an insurance deductible, so the roof isn't "free." If my insurances rates go up, I have to increase the rent (she is month-to-month). I also explained that a roofer's job is to put a new roof on--not to just check to see if it needs to be fixed. They don't get paid unless there is work to do. Hence, they look for work.

"But these people are with the Better Business Bureau. And, they are Christian," she said. I didn't point out I had a "Christian" pastor trash my home years ago. There was no point.

I reminded her that Mr. 114 came and poked around on my behalf last month. "He didn't really look hard." she said. Mr. 114 could have torn the house to shreds and put it back together again and Ms. Shirley would have discounted that.

I am certainly willing to admit when I am wrong. She is over there and she would know if there is a leak better than me. But it just isn't adding up. I am putting paying a visit to Ms. Shirley's home on my to-do list for my hypothetical trip to Birmingham. I will check it out for myself.

If there is a leak, Mr. 114 can fix it.