I have a few indulgences that get my through the day. Some of these indulgences are blogs from people who read these postings. Or, my indulgences would be their blogs if they updated them regularly (and you KNOW who you are).
I found this. http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/
You can't tell me you have never seen any of these folks in a Wal-Mart. In fact, now that I found this site, I see these folks every time I am in Wal-Mart. Just the other day I saw a man in there wearing only a fuzzy bathrobe and furry yellow slippers. I didn't have the nerve to take a picture, but I was tempted.
Enjoy!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
A Lasting First Impression
These last two weeks of the year, I have had my real estate agent hat on. To see if I could pick up a few quickie rental commissions and generate some future business, I advertised some of my company's rentals. The idea being that if they call me, I show them and the property management company does the rest.
So far it has been abysmal, as the number of people looking for a place to rent in North Central Mesa the last two weeks of December is less than four. And, those three have called me.
The last call I got was a beaut. Wanda wanted to know if I could check to see if the landlord was giving away "free rent" for two months. When I asked her what "free rent" meant, she explained apartment complexes, in order to lure in potential tenants, are waiving the first two months' rent payments if the tenant will pretty please pick them.
I asked Wanda, "If you move in and don't pay, how will the landlord pay the mortgage? Aren't you worried about the landlord going into foreclosure if you aren't giving them rent money?"
"That's not my problem. If a landlord wants me they should be willing to match the free rent I can get at the apartment," she replied.
Of course, the major difference between the apartment complex and a single landlord, is the apartment complex works in volume--if one unit is vacant, they have 200 others to cover it. But, I didn't explain that to Wanda. I doubted she would care. I could almost guarantee if I told the landlord about this scenario, he would rather the place stay vacant a little bit longer.
So far it has been abysmal, as the number of people looking for a place to rent in North Central Mesa the last two weeks of December is less than four. And, those three have called me.
The last call I got was a beaut. Wanda wanted to know if I could check to see if the landlord was giving away "free rent" for two months. When I asked her what "free rent" meant, she explained apartment complexes, in order to lure in potential tenants, are waiving the first two months' rent payments if the tenant will pretty please pick them.
I asked Wanda, "If you move in and don't pay, how will the landlord pay the mortgage? Aren't you worried about the landlord going into foreclosure if you aren't giving them rent money?"
"That's not my problem. If a landlord wants me they should be willing to match the free rent I can get at the apartment," she replied.
Of course, the major difference between the apartment complex and a single landlord, is the apartment complex works in volume--if one unit is vacant, they have 200 others to cover it. But, I didn't explain that to Wanda. I doubted she would care. I could almost guarantee if I told the landlord about this scenario, he would rather the place stay vacant a little bit longer.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Springing Into Action
Dear Mrs. Spring,
This past week, I sung your praises for not finding me on Facebook. I so wish you might have heeded my psychic kudos. Though I am sure you have the best of intentions, it is in poor form to friend your landlord. I understand you are new to this whole renting thing, but this seems a bit obvious. Don't feel bad. You aren't the first. Or the fourth.
Please understand it is nothing personal. I do not want a personal relationship to cloud my judgement. I don't friend my husband's boss, the owners of the company I work for or others I have a strictly business relationship with. Perhaps when your lease is up we can discuss this. I do have three former tenants as Facebook friends, so it can happen.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
This past week, I sung your praises for not finding me on Facebook. I so wish you might have heeded my psychic kudos. Though I am sure you have the best of intentions, it is in poor form to friend your landlord. I understand you are new to this whole renting thing, but this seems a bit obvious. Don't feel bad. You aren't the first. Or the fourth.
Please understand it is nothing personal. I do not want a personal relationship to cloud my judgement. I don't friend my husband's boss, the owners of the company I work for or others I have a strictly business relationship with. Perhaps when your lease is up we can discuss this. I do have three former tenants as Facebook friends, so it can happen.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Things She'll Do For Love
I talked to Carolsue on Thursday morning. Hesitating, she said, "I spoke with Ms. Kathy. I hate to say this, but I think you could do worse."
She must have really hated to say that, because last I checked, Carolsue and I were of the same mind about Ms. Kathy. I figured she had given Carolsue one heck of a sob story so ironclad that even Carolsue had fallen for it. I still wasn't buying it.
Ms. Kathy did tell Carolsue what was causing all the financial conflict in her life. It wasn't the normal gambling/drugs/boyfriend. This is usually what I see when someone starts to fail out of the blue. And, Ms. Kathy is getting almost four times the rent every month in social security benefits. So, I jumped to conclusions.
Sadly, Ms. Kathy's situation isn't as simple as a drug addiction. It is much sadder. She has a 17 year old daughter from a previous marriage. For about a year, the daughter has been threatening to move in her with her father if Ms. Kathy didn't buy this, that and the other thing.
So, Ms. Kathy bought her a truck. The truck got impounded. Ms. Kathy paid to get the truck out of automobile jail. Then the daughter wanted something else. So, Ms. Kathy bought that too. And so it goes. Ms. Kathy even got a job to cover the additional expenses (meanwhile, the daughter did not). The last installment of this was a cell phone. Ms. Kathy didn't have the money for the rent, electric bill or anything else, but the daughter threatened to move out. Ms. Kathy tried her best to accomodate. The daughter left anyway.
Carolsue pointed out to Ms. Kathy that the daughter knew Ms. Kathy was behind on the rent, behind on the electricity, gas and other bills. Her daughter knew Ms. Kathy was driving a car with a leak in the gas tank, and yet, the daughter still blackmailed. Ms. Kathy paid because the price of her daughter moving was too great. And, yet she moved anyway.
I am upset about Ms. Kathy for many reasons. I naively ask how did a parent-child relationship get to this point? I was a belligerent teenager and my parents assure me Karma is real. I have it coming. But I can't imagine foregoing one's basic hierarchy of needs for a spoiled brat. I know it happens. I know the dynamics in my family are different than Ms. Kathy's. And I am sure my sweet little Polly will someday rebel--but I can't imagine giving in and buying my child a car instead of paying the rent.
The entire story makes a great deal of sense. Which makes me sadder. I agreed to a slight reprieve. But I am only willing to wait so long. I am letting Carolsue be the good cop and straighten things out with Ms. Kathy. If not, I am ok starting over with a new and paying tenant.
She must have really hated to say that, because last I checked, Carolsue and I were of the same mind about Ms. Kathy. I figured she had given Carolsue one heck of a sob story so ironclad that even Carolsue had fallen for it. I still wasn't buying it.
Ms. Kathy did tell Carolsue what was causing all the financial conflict in her life. It wasn't the normal gambling/drugs/boyfriend. This is usually what I see when someone starts to fail out of the blue. And, Ms. Kathy is getting almost four times the rent every month in social security benefits. So, I jumped to conclusions.
Sadly, Ms. Kathy's situation isn't as simple as a drug addiction. It is much sadder. She has a 17 year old daughter from a previous marriage. For about a year, the daughter has been threatening to move in her with her father if Ms. Kathy didn't buy this, that and the other thing.
So, Ms. Kathy bought her a truck. The truck got impounded. Ms. Kathy paid to get the truck out of automobile jail. Then the daughter wanted something else. So, Ms. Kathy bought that too. And so it goes. Ms. Kathy even got a job to cover the additional expenses (meanwhile, the daughter did not). The last installment of this was a cell phone. Ms. Kathy didn't have the money for the rent, electric bill or anything else, but the daughter threatened to move out. Ms. Kathy tried her best to accomodate. The daughter left anyway.
Carolsue pointed out to Ms. Kathy that the daughter knew Ms. Kathy was behind on the rent, behind on the electricity, gas and other bills. Her daughter knew Ms. Kathy was driving a car with a leak in the gas tank, and yet, the daughter still blackmailed. Ms. Kathy paid because the price of her daughter moving was too great. And, yet she moved anyway.
I am upset about Ms. Kathy for many reasons. I naively ask how did a parent-child relationship get to this point? I was a belligerent teenager and my parents assure me Karma is real. I have it coming. But I can't imagine foregoing one's basic hierarchy of needs for a spoiled brat. I know it happens. I know the dynamics in my family are different than Ms. Kathy's. And I am sure my sweet little Polly will someday rebel--but I can't imagine giving in and buying my child a car instead of paying the rent.
The entire story makes a great deal of sense. Which makes me sadder. I agreed to a slight reprieve. But I am only willing to wait so long. I am letting Carolsue be the good cop and straighten things out with Ms. Kathy. If not, I am ok starting over with a new and paying tenant.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Liars and Deadbeats and Thieves, Oh My!
I was at a crossroads with Ms. Kathy. She has a guaranteed income (widow's benefits) that will not go away for several years. But, her payday and my rent due date are two weeks apart. One might wonder why I just don't change the date of her rent. In the past, I have found that turns out to always be a disaster. Every time I have accommodated a tenant on the rental due date they fail. Every single time. So, I don't believe for a moment if her rent is due on the 15th of the month or the 3rd of the month it would make a shred of difference.
I am at a loss as to why she doesn't seem to care about paying the rent. For the first nine months of her lease, she was golden. Now it seems like it is an afterthought. I had been toying with kicking her out because this kind of situation only leads to trouble. I was sharing this with Carolsue on Wednesday when she dropped this bombshell on me. Ms. Kathy told Carolsue when she promised me she would pay on time this month she had no intention of doing so. It was in essence, lip service.
To her credit, Carolsue told Ms. Kathy she was no better than Ms. Kathy's predecessor: Mr. Smith. I suppose if Carolsue was going to fling one and only insult at Ms. Kathy that was the one to do. I am sorry I didn't get a chance to use that one. But now the damage is done. I tolerate those who are struggling. There are many of us who are struggling. But, I draw the line at thieves and liars. And Ms. Kathy admitted she was both.
As much as I tried, Carolsue flat-out refused to serve Ms. Kathy on Christmas Day. In her effort to deter me, Carolsue even cited some made-up Alabama law about it being illegal to serve someone on a religious holiday. Instead, Carolsue opted to do so on Dec. 26. No matter, it looks like I will soon be purging myself of a liar and a thief.
I am at a loss as to why she doesn't seem to care about paying the rent. For the first nine months of her lease, she was golden. Now it seems like it is an afterthought. I had been toying with kicking her out because this kind of situation only leads to trouble. I was sharing this with Carolsue on Wednesday when she dropped this bombshell on me. Ms. Kathy told Carolsue when she promised me she would pay on time this month she had no intention of doing so. It was in essence, lip service.
To her credit, Carolsue told Ms. Kathy she was no better than Ms. Kathy's predecessor: Mr. Smith. I suppose if Carolsue was going to fling one and only insult at Ms. Kathy that was the one to do. I am sorry I didn't get a chance to use that one. But now the damage is done. I tolerate those who are struggling. There are many of us who are struggling. But, I draw the line at thieves and liars. And Ms. Kathy admitted she was both.
As much as I tried, Carolsue flat-out refused to serve Ms. Kathy on Christmas Day. In her effort to deter me, Carolsue even cited some made-up Alabama law about it being illegal to serve someone on a religious holiday. Instead, Carolsue opted to do so on Dec. 26. No matter, it looks like I will soon be purging myself of a liar and a thief.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore But She Left One Heck of A Mess
There are few things that strike up a heated conversation with members of my family more than one of them deciding they are a better tenant or landlord than me. And, more to the point, any of them telling me about how it is always best to stick it to the greedy landlords.
I would like to go on record right now: I am pretty sure and almost postitive I was adopted. My "real" family is out there somewhere looking for me. These folks--even if they do share my name--do not reflect my opinion about a lot of things. In the interest of fairness, they would also agree I was adopted. And it is probably a great relief to them that there is some sort of logical explanation as to why I we don't see eye-to-eye.
I would also like to go on record: I have a very fun and attentive family. They are great. I love them. And, I really like them. If I had to end up on any doorstep, I am glad it was theirs.
However, Alice seems to have some opinions I just don't get. You see, Alice is moving in a few weeks to a new apartment. She asked me if I thought it was "worth" her cleaning up her mess on her way out the door.
"Yes. Yes I do." I replied.
"Well then, why do they charge a cleaning deposit then if they expect me to clean up after myself?"
Now, one could ask, why call me--a landlord--for the expressed purpose of asking such a question to begin with if Alice's real intention was to leave the place looking like a bombed out war-torn village? I suspect she was looking for permission to do what she was planning to do all along. But then, she should know better than to dial my phone.
There are those of you who would be proud that I held my tongue in the interest of family harmony. Christmas will be a lot nicer because of it. But, just in case Alice finds out about my blog some day, I want to pass this letter along:
Dear Alice,
Renting a home does not give you the right to be a pig. When you move in, you are asked to pay a modest sum for a cleaning deposit. This covers the cost of someone to come in wipe down the mirrors and vacuum the floors when you move out. Presumably these are the types of things one doesn't really have time to do when they are moving. Presumably they have taken care of the big things all along.
Your cleaning deposit does not cover the cost to scrub a year's worth of slime off your bathroom sink. It does not cover the cost to replace your flooring because you decided never to vacuum and now the carpets are matted and now there is more pet dander on the floor than carpet fiber. Nor does it give you the right to never clean your refrigerator.
Nor does paying a modest cleaning deposit give you the right to leave behind everything you decided you don't need ever again. Your landlord should not pay for its removal. We didn't want the 27 melted candles, the clothes that haven't fit you in six years or your old VHS tapes. We didn't ask you to buy a warehouse supply of vitamins and shove them to the back of your cabinet. It costs money and time to remove your garbage. You carted it in, take it out.
Additionally Alice, you must remember we landlords make you pay for this kind of thing. If you move into a home where the last tenant acted so inappropriately and the landlord had to spend extra to get a place ready when they shouldn't have to, the landlord is probably going to raise the rent. Or, raise the deposits. Yes Alice, you pay for the sins of the past renters.
And, don't think landlords don't talk! You will someday move to a place where the future landlord will call for references. Someone will pull up your file and have a few things to say. If you left behind ample evidence that you didn't clean up after your incontinent cat it will be duly noted. I am more likely to tell the truth to a landlord asking for a reference even when the truth hurts. It is the least I can do for a fellow investor.
Alice, landlords aren't rich. We don't really appreciate the damage people like you inflict upon your assets. We understand there is a certain amount of wear and tear that happens. But there is no reason to make it worse. Presumably we give you a reasonable place to live. Presumably we give you a safe environment. The least you can do is leave no trace you were there. A tenant who does that will get their deposits back. I promise.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
I would like to go on record right now: I am pretty sure and almost postitive I was adopted. My "real" family is out there somewhere looking for me. These folks--even if they do share my name--do not reflect my opinion about a lot of things. In the interest of fairness, they would also agree I was adopted. And it is probably a great relief to them that there is some sort of logical explanation as to why I we don't see eye-to-eye.
I would also like to go on record: I have a very fun and attentive family. They are great. I love them. And, I really like them. If I had to end up on any doorstep, I am glad it was theirs.
However, Alice seems to have some opinions I just don't get. You see, Alice is moving in a few weeks to a new apartment. She asked me if I thought it was "worth" her cleaning up her mess on her way out the door.
"Yes. Yes I do." I replied.
"Well then, why do they charge a cleaning deposit then if they expect me to clean up after myself?"
Now, one could ask, why call me--a landlord--for the expressed purpose of asking such a question to begin with if Alice's real intention was to leave the place looking like a bombed out war-torn village? I suspect she was looking for permission to do what she was planning to do all along. But then, she should know better than to dial my phone.
There are those of you who would be proud that I held my tongue in the interest of family harmony. Christmas will be a lot nicer because of it. But, just in case Alice finds out about my blog some day, I want to pass this letter along:
Dear Alice,
Renting a home does not give you the right to be a pig. When you move in, you are asked to pay a modest sum for a cleaning deposit. This covers the cost of someone to come in wipe down the mirrors and vacuum the floors when you move out. Presumably these are the types of things one doesn't really have time to do when they are moving. Presumably they have taken care of the big things all along.
Your cleaning deposit does not cover the cost to scrub a year's worth of slime off your bathroom sink. It does not cover the cost to replace your flooring because you decided never to vacuum and now the carpets are matted and now there is more pet dander on the floor than carpet fiber. Nor does it give you the right to never clean your refrigerator.
Nor does paying a modest cleaning deposit give you the right to leave behind everything you decided you don't need ever again. Your landlord should not pay for its removal. We didn't want the 27 melted candles, the clothes that haven't fit you in six years or your old VHS tapes. We didn't ask you to buy a warehouse supply of vitamins and shove them to the back of your cabinet. It costs money and time to remove your garbage. You carted it in, take it out.
Additionally Alice, you must remember we landlords make you pay for this kind of thing. If you move into a home where the last tenant acted so inappropriately and the landlord had to spend extra to get a place ready when they shouldn't have to, the landlord is probably going to raise the rent. Or, raise the deposits. Yes Alice, you pay for the sins of the past renters.
And, don't think landlords don't talk! You will someday move to a place where the future landlord will call for references. Someone will pull up your file and have a few things to say. If you left behind ample evidence that you didn't clean up after your incontinent cat it will be duly noted. I am more likely to tell the truth to a landlord asking for a reference even when the truth hurts. It is the least I can do for a fellow investor.
Alice, landlords aren't rich. We don't really appreciate the damage people like you inflict upon your assets. We understand there is a certain amount of wear and tear that happens. But there is no reason to make it worse. Presumably we give you a reasonable place to live. Presumably we give you a safe environment. The least you can do is leave no trace you were there. A tenant who does that will get their deposits back. I promise.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Monday, December 21, 2009
I am Sure They Are Just Lovely People
Ok, I admit it. I hold a grudge better than a cat abandoned by its owner for a week while the owner is on vacation. Case in point: I am still annoyed with the Springs for the shenanigans they pulled two months ago.
Why? Partially because I caved and accepted them after they broke my cardinal rules. Historically, it has never gone well when I have accepted tenants who can't follow the basic rules of engagement. And partially because I thought working professionals who pay their bills and act like responsible adults would never say something so stupid to a prospective landlord: "I can't give you a full deposit because my granddaughter's birthday is next week and I will be buying her a present."
I know, I know. Carolsue set them straight. They are fully aware they committed several faux pas. They would like to put those embarrassing moments behind them too. In the interest of fairness, in the past month they have been ideal tenants. I have gotten the rent on time. They only call Carolsue, instead of me, when they want to chat. And, thankfully, thus far Mrs. Spring has thought it prudent not to friend me on Facebook.
I even got a very sweet letter from Mrs. Spring with her on-time rent check. It said something along the lines of "Thank you for not thinking us complete buffoons. And by the way, we just love the house."
Well, I am glad they like the house. But, the jury is out on that whole buffoon thing.
Why? Partially because I caved and accepted them after they broke my cardinal rules. Historically, it has never gone well when I have accepted tenants who can't follow the basic rules of engagement. And partially because I thought working professionals who pay their bills and act like responsible adults would never say something so stupid to a prospective landlord: "I can't give you a full deposit because my granddaughter's birthday is next week and I will be buying her a present."
I know, I know. Carolsue set them straight. They are fully aware they committed several faux pas. They would like to put those embarrassing moments behind them too. In the interest of fairness, in the past month they have been ideal tenants. I have gotten the rent on time. They only call Carolsue, instead of me, when they want to chat. And, thankfully, thus far Mrs. Spring has thought it prudent not to friend me on Facebook.
I even got a very sweet letter from Mrs. Spring with her on-time rent check. It said something along the lines of "Thank you for not thinking us complete buffoons. And by the way, we just love the house."
Well, I am glad they like the house. But, the jury is out on that whole buffoon thing.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I am Only Dreaming of a White Christmas
There is a unusual aspect to what I do that never ceases to amaze me. I meet some interesting people by being a landlord 1,700 miles from my properties. I have met all sorts of folks from all sorts of backgrounds and all walks of life.
Most of those I have encountered have left me with nice warm fuzzy feelings that resonate after all this time. I have made some good friends. And, I have encountered a few whom I will just chalk up to learning experiences. But mostly, I have enjoyed those I have met--including a reader or two--on this wild landlord journey.
There is one woman I am currently in contact with who lives in Virginia. She and I came involved this summer because we had a mutual tenant in common. Some day, when the dust settles, the judge's gavel bangs down on the bench and the guilty are punished for their crimes, I will write about her and the tragic and bizarre circumstances that brought us to this point. But for now, I won't. There is an ongoing criminal investigation.
At any rate, this Virginia woman and I have been corresponding for about seven months. When she calls, it is always business. She has questions about this and that. Could I clarify something in an e-mail my tenant sent? Could I look at a picture of my rental home and identify which bedroom? Do I remember a certain date when a rent check came in? Do I happen to know where the tenants were working in December 2005? That kind of thing.
Saturday, however, she got personal. Out of the blue, I got this text: "20 inches and counting."
I sent her back this: "73 degrees today." and attached the following:
She responded with:
So I sent her a current picture of a portion of my garden:
Most of those I have encountered have left me with nice warm fuzzy feelings that resonate after all this time. I have made some good friends. And, I have encountered a few whom I will just chalk up to learning experiences. But mostly, I have enjoyed those I have met--including a reader or two--on this wild landlord journey.
There is one woman I am currently in contact with who lives in Virginia. She and I came involved this summer because we had a mutual tenant in common. Some day, when the dust settles, the judge's gavel bangs down on the bench and the guilty are punished for their crimes, I will write about her and the tragic and bizarre circumstances that brought us to this point. But for now, I won't. There is an ongoing criminal investigation.
At any rate, this Virginia woman and I have been corresponding for about seven months. When she calls, it is always business. She has questions about this and that. Could I clarify something in an e-mail my tenant sent? Could I look at a picture of my rental home and identify which bedroom? Do I remember a certain date when a rent check came in? Do I happen to know where the tenants were working in December 2005? That kind of thing.
Saturday, however, she got personal. Out of the blue, I got this text: "20 inches and counting."
I sent her back this: "73 degrees today." and attached the following:
She responded with:
So I sent her a current picture of a portion of my garden:
Friday, December 18, 2009
Oops! My Bad
We had the best vacation in years. Though Southern California isn't terribly exotic in my book, we were with my niece and her father and being around quality people and everyone having fun was really the point.
There was very little semblance of reality in our days away. I glanced at the newspaper headlines one day to see nothing in Congress had changed. The only piece of outside world news that caught my eye was that Boeing got the 787 to fly in its maiden voyage! I assure you that is wonderful news for all of us who count on Boeing to feed our families.
Needless to say, very little of my other duties and responsibilities were of concern to me. Which is why my guard was down.
While waiting at the bottom of Tarzan's Treehouse (formerly "Swiss Family Robinson's Treehouse" and by the way, Jane and Mrs. Robinson have the same interior designer--who knew?) for the rest of my family, a man snuck up and grabbed me from behind. He yelled, "boo!"
I jumped a mile and turned around to see who the prankster happened to be. The man, completely embarrassed at having grabbed the wrong person started babbling apologies at ten miles an hour. "I am so sorry, I thought you were someone else..." etc. However, it didn't matter. My brain hadn't clued in he was remorseful. My brain was on vacation.
This guy was the spitting image of Michael Smith ("Mr. Smith" to my long-time readers). He had the same ratty look on his face. The same glasses. The same height, build, coloring, overbite and bad haircut. While this guy was stammering his apology, I just stared at him blankly thinking, "Why the hell doesn't Michael Smith just go away. How in the world did he get here? Why can't he just leave me alone?"
Finally, I shot him the bitchy withered look I have been saving for the occasion and left him, in mid-"I'm so sorry" and walked away. It took me a few beats to realize it wasn't really Michael Smith and I had left my manners back at the treehouse.
Poor guy.
There was very little semblance of reality in our days away. I glanced at the newspaper headlines one day to see nothing in Congress had changed. The only piece of outside world news that caught my eye was that Boeing got the 787 to fly in its maiden voyage! I assure you that is wonderful news for all of us who count on Boeing to feed our families.
Needless to say, very little of my other duties and responsibilities were of concern to me. Which is why my guard was down.
While waiting at the bottom of Tarzan's Treehouse (formerly "Swiss Family Robinson's Treehouse" and by the way, Jane and Mrs. Robinson have the same interior designer--who knew?) for the rest of my family, a man snuck up and grabbed me from behind. He yelled, "boo!"
I jumped a mile and turned around to see who the prankster happened to be. The man, completely embarrassed at having grabbed the wrong person started babbling apologies at ten miles an hour. "I am so sorry, I thought you were someone else..." etc. However, it didn't matter. My brain hadn't clued in he was remorseful. My brain was on vacation.
This guy was the spitting image of Michael Smith ("Mr. Smith" to my long-time readers). He had the same ratty look on his face. The same glasses. The same height, build, coloring, overbite and bad haircut. While this guy was stammering his apology, I just stared at him blankly thinking, "Why the hell doesn't Michael Smith just go away. How in the world did he get here? Why can't he just leave me alone?"
Finally, I shot him the bitchy withered look I have been saving for the occasion and left him, in mid-"I'm so sorry" and walked away. It took me a few beats to realize it wasn't really Michael Smith and I had left my manners back at the treehouse.
Poor guy.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Off the Clock
For the next few days Marty Sunshine the kids and I are going to be in California hanging out at the house that Walt built.
While I am gone, I gave Carolsue a directive: tell Mr. Green NO to any stupid request he might have. I am not going to pay to water his garden. If Carolsue has to sweet talk Ms. Kathy I won't be around to hear Ms. Kathy quake in her shoes. And, Heaven help Mrs. Spring if she decides to buy her granddaughter a teddy bear instead of pay the rent. I won't be responsible for Carolsue's actions.
I also sent Legal Eagle a letter on Friday that I asked her to review for me. I am sure she will get to it while I am gone. No matter, the Alabama Attorney General's office and the Real Estate Commission can wait another week to hear my complaints against my former property management company.
I didn't give Biz any directions. She knows what to do. Pay the mortgages and make journal entries. Simple stuff.
I would like to think all will be quiet in Alabama while I am gone. It has been a really quiet month. Here's to no drama for the next few days.
All the best to you my readers!
While I am gone, I gave Carolsue a directive: tell Mr. Green NO to any stupid request he might have. I am not going to pay to water his garden. If Carolsue has to sweet talk Ms. Kathy I won't be around to hear Ms. Kathy quake in her shoes. And, Heaven help Mrs. Spring if she decides to buy her granddaughter a teddy bear instead of pay the rent. I won't be responsible for Carolsue's actions.
I also sent Legal Eagle a letter on Friday that I asked her to review for me. I am sure she will get to it while I am gone. No matter, the Alabama Attorney General's office and the Real Estate Commission can wait another week to hear my complaints against my former property management company.
I didn't give Biz any directions. She knows what to do. Pay the mortgages and make journal entries. Simple stuff.
I would like to think all will be quiet in Alabama while I am gone. It has been a really quiet month. Here's to no drama for the next few days.
All the best to you my readers!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
This Should Make Mr. Partner Happy
Dear Former Tenants Who Owe Me Money:
I am after you. Or I will be once I coordinate with my paraleagal pal, Carolsue. And, if I have already started the garnishment process with you, I am not done. I am not feeling very forgiving today. You owe. You pay.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
I am after you. Or I will be once I coordinate with my paraleagal pal, Carolsue. And, if I have already started the garnishment process with you, I am not done. I am not feeling very forgiving today. You owe. You pay.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Yay! There is Someone More Flighty Than Me
Currently, I am "helping" Bliz by paying the basic bills, while she goes and earns a real living for her family. However, I am not sure how much help I really am. For one thing, I forget about major creditors--like the power company. It turns out I owed them payment for five houses. Of course, had they sent me the bills to begin with I probably would have felt more of a compunction to pay them.
For another, I am lousy with the levels of organization necessary for bill paying. There are those who with a greater appreciation than I who thoroughly comprehend the intricacies of debits and credits. My mind is more of a "Hey Bliz! I paid this $20 to a guy who I think was named Mac. This was about six weeks ago. Could you make this journal entry for me?" and less, "Oh, now how do I correctly apply this payment?" Fortunately for me, Bliz is still handling the journal entry part of the accounting. Fortunately for her, she charges me by the hour.
On Tuesday I found someone just as artistic about bill paying as me. Mr. Hardy replaced my window in the Leeds house last month. On Tuesday I called him and said, "I think I owe you money."
He wasn't incensed that I hadn't paid him--the reaction the power company is giving me (did I mention if they had sent me the bills I would have paid them?). Instead he said, "You know what? My computer is down, how about if I just hold on to your number and call you back in a few weeks and you can pay me then?"
Yes, how about that? And may I add, only in the South.
Hopefully he is keeping better track about these things than I am. And hopefully his bookkeeper isn't charging him by the journal entry.
For another, I am lousy with the levels of organization necessary for bill paying. There are those who with a greater appreciation than I who thoroughly comprehend the intricacies of debits and credits. My mind is more of a "Hey Bliz! I paid this $20 to a guy who I think was named Mac. This was about six weeks ago. Could you make this journal entry for me?" and less, "Oh, now how do I correctly apply this payment?" Fortunately for me, Bliz is still handling the journal entry part of the accounting. Fortunately for her, she charges me by the hour.
On Tuesday I found someone just as artistic about bill paying as me. Mr. Hardy replaced my window in the Leeds house last month. On Tuesday I called him and said, "I think I owe you money."
He wasn't incensed that I hadn't paid him--the reaction the power company is giving me (did I mention if they had sent me the bills I would have paid them?). Instead he said, "You know what? My computer is down, how about if I just hold on to your number and call you back in a few weeks and you can pay me then?"
Yes, how about that? And may I add, only in the South.
Hopefully he is keeping better track about these things than I am. And hopefully his bookkeeper isn't charging him by the journal entry.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Random Bama
Ms. Kathy came through. Apparently there wasn't a cat fight, instead a Southern woman, ultra-polite conversation, that included gardening tips.
Thankfully, Carolsue went with the girl-friend approach this time, but she did ask Ms. Kathy why my children should forgo Christmas because Ms.Kathy didn't feel up to paying the rent. Carolsue also explained I wasn't a trust fund baby, and I wasn't running a charity. There were a few other shame comments, which will hopefully afford Ms. Kathy and I a better relationship in the long run.
________________________________________
Speaking of Ms. Kathy, she lives in Mr. Smith's former home. For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Smith, I certainly wish I could join you.
Essentially: he was my absolute worst tenant. He lived in my home for five months rent-free before I was able to get a court date. Then, he made me haul myself to Birmingham to get in front of a judge. Mr. Smith didn't show, so I won--which I would have anyway. At that point, he and his family moved directly across the street to his father-in-law's home--which is where he has been blissfully residing ever since.
Apparently he still doesn't have a job. He is still mooching off his once retired father-in-law, who has gone back to work. Mr. Smith's wife has also gotten a job and the Smith kids are in daycare instead of at home with the unemployed and unmotivated Mr. Smith.
The father-in-law, one of the original homeowners on this quiet patch of street, is now shunned by his neighbors and treated like a pariah. A very sad situation. He could kick them out, but that would probably mean alienating his daughter and grandchildren.
Now let's all take a moment to a thank whom or whatever you wish to thank that you aren't related to Mr. Smith.
_____________________________________________________
Mr. Green called Carolsue Friday. His dryer doesn't work and wants me to do something about it. When Carolsue finally got to the crux of the situation, it turns out Mr. Green felt that the issue was the 220 electrical outlet that suddenly stopped working after 20 years and not his ancient dryer that was the problem. And, would I please call the electrician immediately to take care of this?
Carolsue kindly explained that it would be best to make sure the plug worked before I called the electrician (and am not sure the electrician would be so charitable to take care of another one of my homes given I haven't paid him yet for the electrical fire at the Leeds house). Mr. Green and Carolsue went back and forth with this for several minutes before he opted to test out the plug and his dryer. He is supposed to call her back if it is really the outlet.
Note to Mr. Green, get a grip.
Thankfully, Carolsue went with the girl-friend approach this time, but she did ask Ms. Kathy why my children should forgo Christmas because Ms.Kathy didn't feel up to paying the rent. Carolsue also explained I wasn't a trust fund baby, and I wasn't running a charity. There were a few other shame comments, which will hopefully afford Ms. Kathy and I a better relationship in the long run.
________________________________________
Speaking of Ms. Kathy, she lives in Mr. Smith's former home. For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Smith, I certainly wish I could join you.
Essentially: he was my absolute worst tenant. He lived in my home for five months rent-free before I was able to get a court date. Then, he made me haul myself to Birmingham to get in front of a judge. Mr. Smith didn't show, so I won--which I would have anyway. At that point, he and his family moved directly across the street to his father-in-law's home--which is where he has been blissfully residing ever since.
Apparently he still doesn't have a job. He is still mooching off his once retired father-in-law, who has gone back to work. Mr. Smith's wife has also gotten a job and the Smith kids are in daycare instead of at home with the unemployed and unmotivated Mr. Smith.
The father-in-law, one of the original homeowners on this quiet patch of street, is now shunned by his neighbors and treated like a pariah. A very sad situation. He could kick them out, but that would probably mean alienating his daughter and grandchildren.
Now let's all take a moment to a thank whom or whatever you wish to thank that you aren't related to Mr. Smith.
_____________________________________________________
Mr. Green called Carolsue Friday. His dryer doesn't work and wants me to do something about it. When Carolsue finally got to the crux of the situation, it turns out Mr. Green felt that the issue was the 220 electrical outlet that suddenly stopped working after 20 years and not his ancient dryer that was the problem. And, would I please call the electrician immediately to take care of this?
Carolsue kindly explained that it would be best to make sure the plug worked before I called the electrician (and am not sure the electrician would be so charitable to take care of another one of my homes given I haven't paid him yet for the electrical fire at the Leeds house). Mr. Green and Carolsue went back and forth with this for several minutes before he opted to test out the plug and his dryer. He is supposed to call her back if it is really the outlet.
Note to Mr. Green, get a grip.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Cross Your Fingers
From what I understand, Ms. Kathy is supposed to pay the remaining October and all of November rent to me today. Just to be sure she and I were on the same page, I called her Wednesday, leaving a message, verifying this was the case.
Ms. Kathy decided the most prudent option when facing a landlord wanting money would be to text me. After all, why deal with me on the phone when a little old text would do. In her message she said she would deposit into my bank account most of her rent on Thursday and then deposit the remainder Friday. And, was that ok?
Because I figured I would be slightly more diplomatic texting her back instead of calling her, I did so. I let her know based on the state of our current relationship it probably would be best for her to keep up her end of the bargain and give me all the money at once. Just like we agreed to. I said I was uncomfortable with her changing the rules of engagement this far into the process.
What do you know! Ms. Kathy had cell minutes left. She called me immediately to broker the deal. The way I let it stand, she would still get in touch with Carolsue (something I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in doing), give her all the money she owes me on Dec. 3. She could not leave cash on Carolsue's doorstep. Nope. She had to meet in person.
I half-expected her to balk at seeing Carolsue. After all, I can't say I blame her. I had a back-up plan in place just in case, I was going to send her to Legal Eagle. Then, if I had to go to court for an eviction, Legal Eagle would be able to identify her to the judge.
To Ms. Kathy's credit, she never once mentioned the verbal torture Carolsue bestowed upon her. I did offer her a slight reprieve. Ms. Kathy can mail in December's rent--due on the 15th--as long as the check doesn't bounce.
Will Ms. Kathy come through today? I am not willing to take that bet. Logistically, I would think she should be able to do this. I know she gets her widow's benefits today. But, I am not believing anything until the money is in the bank.
Ms. Kathy decided the most prudent option when facing a landlord wanting money would be to text me. After all, why deal with me on the phone when a little old text would do. In her message she said she would deposit into my bank account most of her rent on Thursday and then deposit the remainder Friday. And, was that ok?
Because I figured I would be slightly more diplomatic texting her back instead of calling her, I did so. I let her know based on the state of our current relationship it probably would be best for her to keep up her end of the bargain and give me all the money at once. Just like we agreed to. I said I was uncomfortable with her changing the rules of engagement this far into the process.
What do you know! Ms. Kathy had cell minutes left. She called me immediately to broker the deal. The way I let it stand, she would still get in touch with Carolsue (something I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in doing), give her all the money she owes me on Dec. 3. She could not leave cash on Carolsue's doorstep. Nope. She had to meet in person.
I half-expected her to balk at seeing Carolsue. After all, I can't say I blame her. I had a back-up plan in place just in case, I was going to send her to Legal Eagle. Then, if I had to go to court for an eviction, Legal Eagle would be able to identify her to the judge.
To Ms. Kathy's credit, she never once mentioned the verbal torture Carolsue bestowed upon her. I did offer her a slight reprieve. Ms. Kathy can mail in December's rent--due on the 15th--as long as the check doesn't bounce.
Will Ms. Kathy come through today? I am not willing to take that bet. Logistically, I would think she should be able to do this. I know she gets her widow's benefits today. But, I am not believing anything until the money is in the bank.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Looking Forward
Marty Sunshine were out for our quiet Wednesday lunch when we ran into Mr. Partner. Being the good partners we are, I suggested a lunch meeting for the following Wednesday just to go over a few of the nitty gritty odds and ends. But, also to look at building a brighter future.
I found it interesting that Mr. Partner sees things the way I do. We made decisions last year based on our current situation. Those decisions directly affect some of the circumstances we have encountered this year: Mrs. 508, Mr. Richards, Ms. Betty.
Though we are older and wiser now, he agreed those were the right decisions at the time. I hope so. Mabye if I had held out for a better tenant for the 508 house we wouldn't have had so much drama. Or, maybe I would have had a meth lab. Maybe if I had waited for someone other than Ms. Betty my life would have been more peaceful. Or. maybe I would have had a burning oiled cross affixed to the driveway of the Leeds house.
My main contention for the next year is that it will be a year of rebuilding. Two summers ago we got a gift from a tenant who sold thier interests, giving us an influx of cash to get by. This past summer we lived through several changes but came out the better for it. I firmly believe our tenants right now are quality. I am even willing to work with Ms. Kathy, provided she wants to work with me.
We will probably have to make some difficult decisions in the near future. Actually, it will be Mr. Partner who has to make these difficult decisions. As I have been living with this for years, I know the obvious answers. We will probably have to figure out a way to get an influx of cash. Do we bring in another partner? Do we sell a home or two (provided the market will allow us to do so)? Do we ask a private investor for assistance? I have my thoughts. Marty and I have bandyied around a few ideas. Now it is time to get Mr. Partner on board.
Our little business is fledgling but far from sunk. I believe it is time to look at rebuilding and moving forward. I think we can. But it will be a long process.
I found it interesting that Mr. Partner sees things the way I do. We made decisions last year based on our current situation. Those decisions directly affect some of the circumstances we have encountered this year: Mrs. 508, Mr. Richards, Ms. Betty.
Though we are older and wiser now, he agreed those were the right decisions at the time. I hope so. Mabye if I had held out for a better tenant for the 508 house we wouldn't have had so much drama. Or, maybe I would have had a meth lab. Maybe if I had waited for someone other than Ms. Betty my life would have been more peaceful. Or. maybe I would have had a burning oiled cross affixed to the driveway of the Leeds house.
My main contention for the next year is that it will be a year of rebuilding. Two summers ago we got a gift from a tenant who sold thier interests, giving us an influx of cash to get by. This past summer we lived through several changes but came out the better for it. I firmly believe our tenants right now are quality. I am even willing to work with Ms. Kathy, provided she wants to work with me.
We will probably have to make some difficult decisions in the near future. Actually, it will be Mr. Partner who has to make these difficult decisions. As I have been living with this for years, I know the obvious answers. We will probably have to figure out a way to get an influx of cash. Do we bring in another partner? Do we sell a home or two (provided the market will allow us to do so)? Do we ask a private investor for assistance? I have my thoughts. Marty and I have bandyied around a few ideas. Now it is time to get Mr. Partner on board.
Our little business is fledgling but far from sunk. I believe it is time to look at rebuilding and moving forward. I think we can. But it will be a long process.
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