Just Subtract Two Hours

This morning, my phone started ringing at 5:31 a.m. This is not unusual, because there are those nice folks five states away who just don't understand time zones. Today it rang so much before 7 a.m., that I just gave up crawled out of bed and started returning my calls.

Calvin called to fire me again. I think this time he means it. He got stung by another bee. I really am sorry this happened again. I like the guy. He does good work. The County sent me a certified nasty-gram telling me I had until September 9 to clean up the yard. I called Carolsue begging for a name of a lawn guy who isn't allergic to bee stings.

The electric company called. Remember back to January and the vacant home? Handyman #3 (Mr. Smith, the upstanding citizen that he is) put in a hot water heater for me. The electric hot water heater was courtesy of the power company if I converted from gas to electric. Mr. Smith told me at the time that he sent back a form, stating that yes he did install it (and I had no idea this had to happen until he told me this was protocol). Apparently if this form is not filled out, I will be charged $300. Guess why the power company called this morning?
I also heard from Clay. He works for an HVAC company. He was called out to one of my properties because the air conditioner wasn't working. Clay tells me the unit is ancient and needs to be replaced. Second opinion time! The second opinion was similar to the first, but more expensive. A call to the gas company confirmed what Clay and the more expensive guy told me. The unit should be condemned.

So, after talking to Clay again, I recognize his last name. It is an unusual name and I haven't run into many folks from a German descent around Birmingham. Stupidly, I ask if he has any relatives in the area. Yes he does but he doesn't really know them. I mention I once had tenants by the same name. He said, "Good tenants or bad? Then I will tell you if I am related." I explain they were very good tenants who suddenly stopped paying. I am under the impression something happened in their life and they just didn't want to work it out with me. He said, "If they were deadbeats and owe you money, I don't want to know them." I like Clay.

My last call was from Lana. Had the Flunky been back to the house? I actually didn't know. So, I called Carolsue again. "You lost another lawn guy? It has only been 30 minutes Sugar," she drawled when she heard it was me.

No, I needed to know if Flunky called. Yes he did. But, she sent Baseball guy out there on her behalf. And, it wasn't Flunky this time. This time it was Alpha Adjuster! And, he went out there on a Thursday. According to Carolsue, who heard it from Baseball Guy, Alpha does now believe the home needs some work. When he will get around to writing me a check is anyone's guess.