Retiring My Wand

Though I am certain he doesn't mean it the way it is landing, Mr. Partner is for some reason getting cold feet about the dissolution. I mean it is happening whether or not he likes it, but he has recently dug in and reacted in the most maddening manner. His excuses are worse than a toddler who does not want to go to sleep and is looking for another reason to stay awake.

However, in all fairness to Mr. Partner, I am very anxious for this to be done. It is something I have wanted for years. There is a certain element of freedom that comes with ending this particular season of our lives. I am done with the entire partnership thing. The sooner the better. It isn't anything against Mr. Partner, et. al., it is me. All me. I am ready to move on.

Probably partially because of my frenzy to finish this in the next few days and partially because I feel like any trained monkey with administrative and people skills could do what I am doing, I am frustrated at Mr. Partner's cold feet.

Today, Mr. Partner gave Marty and I a litany of reasons why this is happening "too fast." First he mentioned he "didn't know how" to use the bill payer on the bank's online program. Easily countered. I set everything up already for him. Then it was he didn't have the mortgage account numbers. I am pleased to say I didn't send out a slew of swear words when he threw this at me. I just reminded him I know Bliz has given him this information once in the past three weeks. I have given it to him three times. There were all sorts of other lame (LAME) excuses too, all boiling down to "I don't like change."

That's when it hit me. Mr. Partner just realized there is no Magic Alabama Fairy. Because, after all, for the last 14 years he knows the Magic Alabama Fairy has taken care of everything. Poof! The bills are paid. Poof! Repairs are made. Poof! Tenant negotiations are done. In his eyes, it has just been that that simple.

If it were truly that simple of course, there would be no accidental business blog. The truth is, just like everything, this was all work. Lots of work. And now he will need to be responsible for said work. He will need to handle bills (sorta--he's got an online bank ap and Bliz), he will have to make nice with strangers who will reply with "Bless your heart..."--which he will quickly realize is not a compliment. He will have to decipher Ms. Angie's thick southern drawl, which is worse when she is upset--and that's the only time she calls. Mr. Partner is about to discover Leeds Alabama is the bigot capitol of the world (though I have mentioned this a few times to him). It is also the most backwards, redneck place I have ever been. Hollywood's central casting would have a field day with the stereotypes they would find at Boo's Key Shop, which uses Augie's Bar for a storefront.

Not only is there no Magic Alabama Fairy, but there are a lot of steps I cannot teach him. I learned them through trial and error. I learned them through Carolsue's tutelage. I learned them through stumbling on the right (and wrong) people here and there who made my life easy or difficult. I cannot teach Mr. Partner how to get the plumber on the phone and move my home to the top of the day's list. I cannot teach Mr. Partner how to find the right electrician, garage door repairman or process server. I know all of these people, but at one time I didn't. I learned. He will learn too. He has to. The Magic Alabama Fairy is retiring (hopefully) around June 30.