The Antics of A Passive Aggressive Property Management Maintenance Manager

I want to give up my fabulous life and become a maintenance flunky for a property management company. Why? Because all I would have to do all day is write e-mails. I wouldn't have to think--I promise, that is definitely not part of the job description. And, if I felt the need (and I often do) I could be totally passive aggressive and feign ignorance.

Example A:

Last week I got a work order for my home in Alabaster: Flunky sent me the following: "Water is leaking and the wood is wet. It is getting worse" Flunky wanted to know what I wanted to do about it.

I have exhaustively covered the topic of giving me enough of the scope of work so I know what is going on with him. I give up. He just isn't going to do that. I originally thought it was personal. Now I think he is just stupid.

My first response was, "Call a plumber," because when I see "water leaking," that's exactly where my brain goes.

Flunky wrote back and finally told me that water was leaking from under the back door because it had rained and the hardwood floors were wet.

Me: "Is it still raining?"

Flunky: "No it stopped raining three days ago."

Me: "Why are the floors still wet? Does the tenant not own a towel?"

I was missing something in this, because it seemed 100% obvious to me that any idiot would see if this were what was being portrayed to me, that the weather stripping needed to be replaced.  And it did. However, it took six hours of e-mails and four voice mails to find this out. As I have explained numerous times, I am not In Alabama. I don't have a background in house maintenance. Why should I have to say, "Well then, fix the weather stripping." But I had to.

Example B:

The folks in Moody--who swear every year they will be moving out--want to replace the floor in one of the bedrooms. I am ok with that. I even agreed to reimburse them.

So, Flunky sends me an e-mail yesterday saying the tenant is waiting for a check to buy supplies and when will I send it?

Let me get this straight: the work hasn't been done and I am supposed to send them money randomly?

Instead, I wrote, "Let them take it off the rent when they provide you with a receipt."

Situation managed, right?

Dear Lord, this man will not go away. He responded, "That's not how we do it here."

How the hell should I know the policies of his company? I don't work there. But I do know I am not writing a check and mailing it to these tenants in hopes they will spend it on the floor. Because if they blow it on a birthday party for their kid, I just financed that.

I once again wrote back: "Ok, find out how your company handles this. Inspect the work when it is done and either cut them a check out of the rent or send me pictures of completed, inspected work and I will cut them a check."

Marty Sunshine asked me to take out the final part which was, "Please stop making me do your job. Try thinking for yourself for a change."

But in both cases we are talking about fixes under $150 (hopefully much less than that for weather stripping). We are also talking about a day's worth of back and forth nebulous emails. Or, if I call, I get some sort of runaround with him--if he bothers to answer the phone at all.

If I had never had experience with property management companies before, I might find this normal. However, I have had multiple experiences with property management companies in two states. This is not how business is done. Maintenance in a property management company is normally done by competent people who realize the owner doesn't want to be bothered or spend an entire day managing a situation they employ others to manage. I mean, I can understand if it is a roof, or something of a major caliber, but these are easy fixes.

And, in case you think there is actually work involved in this man's job beyond the scope of what I am suggesting:

Example C:

Flunky sent me an e-mail a few weeks ago: "When was the house in Pinson foreclosed?"

I saw no reason why this was his business. He did not give any indication as to why he needed to know. Was he settling a bet? Was he closing out his books for the year?

And because I don't feel he needed a major explanation, I promptly replied: "2015."

Flunky never got back to me asking me to clarify, so I figure he really was just finding a reason to send me an e-mail.