If A Tree Falls In Moody Who Hears About It?

I haven't given the home in Moody the appropriate attention it deserves here on the ol' blog of late. After years of writing about Mr. Smith (who still lives directly across the street) and Ms. Kathy whose sister lives directly next door (I don't know if Ms. Kathy lives with her or just visits her on a daily basis), I have kind of wanted to put this house into the recesses of my mind and just go on with my life.

But I want a lot of things that I want aren't happening these days.

The house in Moody is a three bedroom, one bath, 1,100 square foot home. The yard is about a half acre, probably bigger. Though this house is tiny with one bathroom, I have never had trouble renting this place out. The schools, I hear, in Moody are fantastic and people line up to live in this redneck dump charming village.*

To give you an idea of how charming Moody is, you have to drive past the--and I am not making this up--tombstone rental store on the way to the town center. The neighborhood where this home is located is behind the police department. The same police station that was flattened after a series of tornadoes went through a few years ago. However, this car is still in the parking lot.

Anyway, the house in Moody has been the source of a lot of consternation lately. First, a tree fell. A very tall tree. I am told it was in the back yard, but for the life of me, I cannot remember a tree in the back yard of this house. Fortunately, the only damage done by the tree was to the tree itself and to the 3 foot high chain link fence that (of course) separated my yard and the yard of Ms. Kathy's sister's house.

I found out about this because Flunky e-mailed me hours after this incident asking what he was supposed to do. His e-mail once again demonstrated that the years of charm school his mother invested into him were a complete waste. In all fairness, he did not know the fence in question was the one between my home and Ms. Kathy's sister, but that is still no reason to be obnoxious.

According to Flunky, the neighbor (who knows darn well who I am) was all up in arms about this. She was threatening all sorts of legal things if the "owner didn't fix it right away". This of course was a huge bluff because 1) I am not quite sure how much fixing is needed. It seems like cutting the wood, straightening out the fence and getting on with our lives would suffice, and 2) I doubt she can find a lawyer who will take on the great "a tree fell on my fence and I am devastated" case or afford the retainer for the one attorney in the greater Birmingham metropolitan area who would agree to this. But, that's just me.


*Now to be fair, Leeds is just across I-20 from Moody (think of it like a sister city) and there are many adjectives I would use to describe Leeds, and none of them would be "charming village."