How to be a Good Property Manager*

*from a landlord's perspective. 

There is a reason for this series.

Know who you work for and never forget it: You work for the owner. That's it. You don't work for the tenant or the plumber. Your fiduciary responsibility is only to your owner. Jot it down. There will be a quiz later.

Answer your phone: By far, Kirby has been the best of the property managers I have gone through in Birmingham. However, Kirby had to be the absolute worst at answering his phone. I understand property management companies manage hundreds of homes. Which means they have hundreds of owners, tenants and vendors. So there is never a lull in the action. But still! I find it strange when I am researching property management companies in Arizona, how many reviews start with "company never answers their phone" or "my call always go to voice mail." My company has a simple policy for its sales agents: come in and help once in a while and you will get leads. So, two hours once a week picking up a ringing telephone can be worth multiple commissions.

Return Phone Calls and E-mails: In all fairness, we all have people in our lives whose phone calls and e-mails we shove to the bottom of the food chain. Those people earned it. But most don't. Call/text/e-mail back those who call you--even if it is to say "Hey, got your message, tied up right now because a heard of dead water buffalo just died in my lobby. I will get back to you soon."

Give us a Head's Up: Tenant pay late? Their lease is up? Let us know. Most property management software applications have an automatic e-mail notification built in for such occasions (including Luigi's company--because I know what software he uses). It drives me insane to find out when I get my owner payout every month that tenants couldn't be bothered to pay the rent. If I had to pick one item that drives me buggy about the company I use in Alabama, it is this.

Half a Loaf of Bread is Not Better than a Full Loaf of Bread: Do not take a partial payment from a tenant. That means the tenant stays for the entire month on reduced rent. When offered a partial payment, hand it back to the tenant and tell them to try again.

Recognize that Perpetually Late Tenant Whose Grandmother Died. Again: Seriously, know the excuses and call the deadbeat out on them.

Don't Threaten, Do It: Evict when necessary. End of story.

Fix It for a Reasonable Price: Reasonable Price: $200-ish for a garage door opener. Not reasonable price: $2,000. I realize you up-charge. Me not dealing with the moment-by-moment drama of what the plumber is doing is worth it to me. But I am not stupid.

Be Professional: And hence, the reason for this series--because this happened to me this week. Though I complain about them, I swear this company in Alabama is better than any other I currently have available to me. I like most of the people in the company. I like Luigi, Jay, April and Willy. I am even lukewarm on Flunky right now. But dear Heavens! Don't send me a friend request Facebook. I may be fond of you, but we aren't friends. We are in a business relationship. I don't want to know if you need prayers for your sick guinea pig, what your political affiliation is or if you are (Heaven forbid) a Dodger's fan, And more to the point, if I am telling you I am out of funds and you see a picture of me on a tropical island, you may think I am fibbing. But maybe I am not. Maybe I have an uncle-in-law who lets me stay there for the price of painting his shed. You don't know. And I don't want you to know.