A Flood of Suggestions

I happen to consider myself a practical person. I thought most people were practical until I became a landlord. For whatever reason, "practical" seems to fly out the window in the most stupendous fashion when tenants are faced with no-brainer tasks.

For example, Mr. and Mrs. Green have an unfortunate situation. They have accidentally inherited a skylight in their master bedroom. This happened early Tuesday morning when a portion of the roof collapsed. Today is Thursday. I have called two roofers who are swamped. One has promised me a tarp twice in two days. However, nothing has happened as of yet. I know this because I am getting regular updates on the situation from both Mr. and Mrs. Green.

The insurance adjuster is a whole 'nuther story, worthy of its own blog (stay tuned). But the fact remains, there is a gaping hole in the roof and the Greens can see daylight, or stars, or depending upon the weather, running water.

It stands to reason, if this is a situation they are having to deal with, they might be motivated to do something about it. After all, THERE IS WATER COMING DOWN ON THEIR MASTER BED.

Instead, I have gotten about twenty seven calls an hour for the last two days, reminding me the roof hasn't been tarped. Try as I may, I don't have a magic landlord wand to make this happen. I have suggested to them that they might want to take matters into their own hands. You know, haul their collectively wet butts the 1/8 of a mile to the local Orange Big Box hardware store and buy a tarp.

"We don't have a ladder." Mr. Green lamented.

I know first-hand that that particular store rents ladders. I also know first-hand that Mr. Green's next door neighbor owns a ladder. I have used it. Otherwise, perhaps someone they know or a member of their church might own a ladder and be willing to help. I suggested both to him and he feigned the same type of confusion Buckaroo gives me when he doesn't want to wash dishes.

At this point, I am really under the impression what they are expecting is for me to get on a plane in the next hour, fly out to Birmingham. Buy a tarp and either rent a ladder or borrow one from the next door neighbor and put the tarp on their roof. At which point, I will need to immediately fly back to Phoenix to await a phone call from the MIA insurance adjuster (Spoilers. Sorry.).

I have always considered the Greens to be practical people, who have managed to find their way thus far in their life with little issue. I am sure, if they are properly motivated they will figure this out too.