Eating My Words

About six weeks ago I got a call from friends of mine. They are accidental landlords because the husband was deployed to Arkansas around 2008 and could not sell their home for what they owe. They have been stressing out about this in one way or another since they started the process.

Part of the reason they were stressing was, for them, this was their happily ever after home. It wasn't a piece of meat they bought for the single purpose of cash flow and tax deductions. They like the carpet color. They like the wall color. They like the back yard. The other reason they are stressing is they happen to read this blog (and may have heard a behind the scenes story or two) and they know exactly what tenants are capable of.

So, back to this phone call. Shawn, the husband, called wanting some advice. He has tenants who were supposed to move out, but they are asking about staying for three more months. Should he let them stay the three months, missing out on the prime rental season when they leave in October? Or should he let them stay because the known is a lot less scary than the unknown? After all a tenant in the hand...

Oh! I should also mention the tenants in question were holding his rent check hostage until he made a decision (suggesting they weren't going to pay if they were moving out).

I should back up a teensy bit here, the tenants had been varying shades of royal pain in the rear for pretty much the duration of the lease. Shawn would call, reasonably demand they fix the broken window/get rid of the king cobra/pay the rent. They would parlay, giving Shawn the unfortunate impression they understood and agreed to everything Shawn said. Shawn in turn would go on his merry way, relieved, only to find out the tenants just wanted him off their back. Two months later they would lather, rinse and repeat the entire exchange.

Anyway, back to the phone call (once again). Shawn called me wanting advice on what to do with these yahoos. I forgot my manners as I barked into the phone. "Kick them out. Don't look back. They are making you crazy. And furthermore, they don't respect you. They are playing you for a fool."

His instant silent reply from my marching orders made me realize this was probably not an option he was seriously exploring when he called. He was looking for ways to get along and make the whole Shawn-tenant thing work out properly.

The good news is Shawn did get rid of them (not without a fair-share of drama and expense) and now has wonderful tenants.

I bring this up because last week Ms. Kathy's rent check did not come. If you might recall, she gave me this song and dance about rent being a priority now. On Thursday I texted her and asked what day she mailed it. On Friday I texted her and said "I take it since you didn't reply to my text you didn't mail it."

On Saturday I got an e-mail from her saying she would be sending $100 this week and $50 thereafter starting next Friday. I didn't reply. On Sunday night I got yet another e-mail from her saying, "Oops. I don't have that $100. But I will send you $50 this next Friday."

My words to Shawn and Lynn have been ringing in my ears. "Kick them out. Don't look back. They are making you crazy. And furthermore, they don't respect you. They are playing you for a fool."

Today I called Red, one of my process servers. I also called Ms. Kathy's place of employment, let her boss misunderstand that perhaps a flower delivery might be coming for Ms. Kathy and what time was Ms. Kathy working (so that Red could deliver the eviction notice. Perhaps he will pluck a daisy to go with it)? I also called a low-cost attorney I found from Kirby.

As she is month-to-month, I really don't have to evict Ms. Kathy. However, I tried the just-move-out route in 30 days before. Though I got rent, I did not get a long-term solution that makes me happy (seriously? $50 next week???)

This will not be cheap. I will not get the kind of rent I am getting from Ms. Kathy (when I get rent). I will have some repairs I haven't budgeted. Mr. Partner is MIA right now. I don't know how this is going to turn out. But at least Ms. Kathy's silly drama is soon to be over and she can go play some other landlord for the fool.