Monday, April 25, 2011

Ssssneaky

Harold sent me an urgent voice mail on Easter morning. It was in his rapid rambling thick Southern drawl, and the only words I could make out were: "snakes" and "going month to month." Neither concept excited me.

When I got him back on the phone--and after I made sure to wish him a Happy Easter--I started to decipher what he was saying. Marty Sunshine, who was sitting next to me while Harold was talking, heard "zum, zum, zum." Of course, that is about what I heard too. I was frantically searching my Southern to English translation book to catch on to half of what he said.

The gist was he wasn't sure the snakes were gone. Noted. I will tell Jack.

And, he thinks there is a water drainage problem on the property. For only $500 Harold would be happy to dump a few loads of dirt and rent some sort of heavy machinery to divert the water away from the area in question.

I have no idea if this is a good idea or not. But, I wasn't really all that concerned. I will pass it on to Jack this week and let him decide. I vote no. The snakes weren't a problem before two weeks ago.

The zinger that really caught my attention (and this was higher on the urgent chain than "snakes") was that he was not planning on moving this next weekend. In fact, he wanted to negotiate something about staying on for a little while longer.

Let me see if I understand this: Haroldine, his girlfriend, has been struggling to make the rent for the past several months. Harold has been nowhere in this picture and hasn't contributed a penny towards rent. Now, after I have a new tenant ready to move in and they have been given notice to leave, Harold calls me wanting to stay.

A few theories:

1. Harold and Haroldine broke up, and just got back together and want to play house one more time.
2. They are disorganized and haven't bothered to find another place to live.
3. (my personal favorite): All of the above.

As it turns out, I do have a tenant lined up. He has already paid his May rent and the required deposits. He is going to clean the home himself. He has decent credit and seems high-functioning. He has called me twice in the past month just to make sure I still like him. And, I do. I like this new tenant. 

I gave Harold my best "yes, we do have a tenant, and just like we agreed, you will need to be out by this weekend." pep talk. What I didn't say was life is too short to deal with any more Harold/Haroldine drama.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I so agree with your assessment. Funny how Haroldine was never ever going back into that property since the snakes but even though Harold thinks they are still there, she's okay with living there all of a sudden? Sorry, but once scared of snakes....always scared of snakes. Plus any man who would leave me high and dry for months on end to worry about how I'm going to pay HIS rent (since the lease is in Harold's name) and then want to move back in with me is lower than that bag of trash I just put on the curb. but that's just me. (By the way, it's just easier to click anonymous on lazy days than type my name. LOL)

BusyMommy said...

I agree with your anonymous friend. :)