Quiet

Ollie, who always wants to play "rope".

I am sitting in quiet today. Even Ollie has grown bored of my solitude, and that's pretty tough for a co-dependent emotional abyss of a dog. I spent yesterday staring into space, in some sort of numb trance, trying to figure out what to do next.

For the first time in my marriage, I don't have anything to do. Well, that's not entirely true. I have domestic pursuits as well as mothering to do. But that will be in an hour from now when the school bus arrives and Marty makes it home. There will be homework, dinner and karate. Right now, nobody needs me. I am not used to that.

There is some small satisfaction in knowing I will never have to receive another e-mail from Flunky. No tenant will call me with some stupid excuse as to why buying birthday presents for their grandchild is more important than rent. I hated those calls. Why is a birthday present and rent mutually exclusive? Sometimes I would laugh them off. Sometimes I would tell the tenant to act like a damn grown up and figure it out or move out of my home.

There won't be any 2 a.m. "the toilet overflowed" calls either. In all fairness, I have never once received a 2 a.m. toilet overflowed call. I don't know any landlord who has. I did receive a 4:30 a.m. "The air conditioner is on fire" call once. ("Call 911, When the fire department is done, call me back."). And Flunky once texted me at 5 a.m. with "an emergency" which turned out to be nothing.

The official party line is I am on hiatus from work. That's part of the grand design of the accidental business downfall. We are to reduce my income, useful income that kept us afloat during the last ten years or so when all hell broke loose. That same income that will be used now to rebuild our future once I can change the official party line. Actually I have a slight reprieve, called "showing rentals," which is the real estate agent's equivalent of purgatory.

Now that our storm is coming to an end I am restless looking for something to fill that gap. The clouds are still in the sky. There is no rainbow or sunbeam. There is still a chill in the air. We aren't done. But I am told we will be soon. I don't know when "soon" is. My best guess is summer, but I don't dare to dream it will be that quick.

I am sure there will be more weird stories before this is done. I am old enough to know the saga doesn't end doesn't end just because my role as landlord stopped. I am reminded of one time when Buckaroo asked me how did the zebras not get eaten by the lions once the ark landed and the animals departed. I explained that Noah probably didn't let all of the animals go at once for that very reason. Buckaroo thought about it a moment and then announced that the mud had to dry before the zebras got off, otherwise, they would have been stuck, and hence, lion food. Even Noah had drama once the rain ended.

It would be swell to tell you that there are no regrets. And perhaps someday I will be able to say that. Right now I am just enjoying today's quiet.