The Great Lawyer Hunt

I am currently looking for an attorney who will help me with this mess the Late Attorney Jon left me in. Last year I hired Flip to do this. I paid him. Called him regularly. E-mailed him as well. Flip, in turn ignored me.

Early on, I saw the flaw with this game plan: Hope doesn't get e-mails read or phone calls answered. I happen to know letters to the Alabama BAR or the Alabama Attorney Generals' office are much more effective. But I was trying not to burn any bridges. And besides, I choose to label my issue a small administrative matter which just needs a wee bit of attention. I would eventually get around to fixing it. Which is now.

A couple of weeks ago Flip sent me a letter telling me to call him to discuss a lawyer named Mr. Abbot who may have an interest in helping me. Flip said he wasn't sure he would take my case. But I was to call Flip and he would explain everything. So, I ramped up my call/e-mail/smoke signal campaign and got nowhere faster.

The underlying message in Flip's letter was that he wasn't going to touch my small administrative matter, probably because there are other consequences--like he is a personal friend to Late Attorney Jon's family and my teensy tiny administrative matter could easily be construed as a one-way ticket to a sinkhole landing in Birmingham Society hell. (But really, I prefer to consider this a simple administrative matter). If it is indeed a one-way ticket, it could get awkward next time Flip's wife and Mrs. Late Attorney Jon are seen socially. So, essentially to me it looks like Flip is rescuing himself. Though he hasn't exactly told me that.

So, I have spent the last ten days looking for looking for another attorney to handle this small administrative matter. My main criteria was that I wanted someone who worked out of Shelby County--the county where this house in question happens to reside. It also meant I would have a better chance of finding a lawyer who's wife didn't have regularly active social functions with the delightful Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. One doesn't need awkward ostracizing at tennis matches because someone's feathers are ruffled over what the Late Attorney Jon was or was not supposed to do.

Doing what I always do when I am looking for something in the Birmingham area, I sent out e-mails explaining I want an attorney who RESIDES in Shelby County--and under no circumstances were they to have a law practice office in the suburbs of Vestavia and Mountain Brook.

I thought that was pretty simple. Mario was the first to respond. I asked him personally because (though he doesn't know it), it is the house on Hysteria Lane that he manages that is tied to this small administrative matter. If he knew about my issue, he would not be pleased. And, he probably would--and should--fire me immediately. (that's for another blog).

Mario sent me the name of someone who happens to live two blocks North of Vestavia Hills, a swanky suburb where many of Mrs. Late Attorney Jon's friends reside. When I mentioned this to Mario (who was pleased I asked, as he is really trying to stay on my good side), I pointed out that this particular attorney was not Shelby County.

Mario's response was priceless: He said: "If he is in Jefferson County, he barely is. He is about 25 minutes closer to the Shelby County Courthouse than any other real estate attorneys I know."
Bless his heart. That is so Southern of him to purposely misunderstand what I meant.

Mr. Wonderful Former Tenant also sent me a name of a lawyer he knew. She was very nice. I spoke on speaker phone to her and her colleague who wanted me to understand in no uncertain terms that "My small administrative matter" was going to be small. In fact, it sounds like a colossal nightmare for me that would not going away in an easy fashion. And, to do this would cost at least my first born and probably a few years of indentured servitude to get resolved. But all was not lost. She had a friend who was located off Highway 280 in Mountain Brook who could probably help me. And good luck. I will need it!

Carolsue talked to Ron. Ron gave Carolsue the name of someone who would give me a referral. This gentleman took my call instantly. He was nice enough. He lives and works in Jefferson County (where most of metro Birmingham is located). He didn't know the Late Attorney Jon. But he couldn't help me anyway. He asked me if I needed a pea shooter lawyer or a Sherman tank lawyer. I explained my situation, including what I think is a reasonable course of action that could quickly resolve this. The guy agreed with my reasonable course of action but then urged me to call the Sherman tank lawyer. When I asked for the name of the pea shooter attorney, he said no. That wouldn't help at all. He also promised me the Sherman Tank would not be part of the Mountain Brook cocktail party crowd under any circumstances.

In fits desperation, I looked over the letter Flip sent me. He mentioned Mr. Abbot who might be willing to take my case--but he said this guy hadn't agreed to it yet. Figuring I had nothing to loose, and figuring he already knows what is going on (and because he came from Flip, he probably hangs out with the Late Attorney Jon's family, but whatever).

It took two tries to get in touch with this guy. (I left messages saying Flip gave me his name. The receptionist seemed to be pleased to hear such wonderful words while she ruminated about the character of Mr. Flip. This isn't exactly lying. I never said I got a referral from Flip. Just that I had a name of someone Flip mentioned.).

That not-exactly a lie got me a call from Matt the paralegal. He was familiar with the Late Attorney Jon cases and some of the challenges Jon's clients are facing right now (which always blows me away when people just sort of assume you know all the ins and outs of a tragedy and don't hold back on the gossip).

Matt was kind enough to ask me to repeat my issue and admitted he didn't have any particular experience with Alabama Real Estate Law. But from everything I told him, it sounded like a small administrative matter. How hard could it be? Matt needs to talk with Mr. Abbot. I will know more later this week.

If Mr. Abbot doesn't work out, I will also go to plan C. Kirby gave me the name of a lawyer in the "hood" (Kirby's words). Yep, I am guessing he doesn't spend a lot of time at the Mountain Brook Country Club.

I also have a plan D: A lawyer I found from another former tenant that resides in Columbiana, Alabama.

Plan E is another attorney who happens to reside in Aniston, Alabama.