Please Leave Me Alone

Every year, because it is required, I pay the Alabama Department of Revenue an extortion fee to do business in their state. For each LLC, the cost is $100. For my now-defunct corporation, it is $110.

I have been doing this for 10 years. And, each year, the Alabama Department of Revenue throws a dart at some random LLC or now-defunct corporation of mine and then sends a letter, accusing me of not paying them what I owe.

They played this game two years in a row with my now-defunct corporation. The second year, I wrote them back (I always write them back with the copy of the cancelled check), explaining that I have better things to do than play this little game and perhaps they could have someone possibly file my extortion fee correctly in the future and save us a bit of trouble?

The following year, the Alabama Department of Revenue went after an LLC of mine that had not been around for several years. That particular LLC was bought out by the LLC Mr. and Mrs. Partner own with us. At the time, when we had filed the final taxes for that LLC, we wrote a nice little letter saying, "This is our last tax return for this LLC, and you can now find us at XYZ LLC."

This severely confused the Alabama Department of Revenue, who THREE YEARS LATER began sending me letters saying "You owe us money. Pay up." At first I did reasonable things, like re-submitting my tax returns, pointing out where I told them it was my last tax return to them (there is a checked box for this), and once again explaining what happened to those homes.

That wasn't good enough. They wrote back.

And then I wrote back.

And then they wrote back.

And then Diamond Jim wrote back.

And then they wrote back again.

And then I put in big red letters on the outside of the envelope, "Return to sender. No such business at this address"--which was true. And that pretty much stopped them in their tracks.

At that point, the Alabama Department of Revenue came up with a new target: the LLC Marty and I own with Mr. and Mrs. Partner. This time they swore I did not pay my extortion fee for the 2011 tax season. Although I complied to each letter last year, giving them a copy of the cancelled check (showing not only was it paid, but that they cashed the check prior to April 15, 2012), they still levied a fine: $2.10 for my alleged tardiness.

This past week, Diamond Jim completed my K-1 for this LLC. To the front of the tax return, I repeatedly stapled (and photo copied) the check I sent them. Also to the front of the tax return, I sent them one more letter explaining how I am tired of this game and once in for all, could they please not loose my check and possibly appropriate the money correctly and save me the hassle and headache of having to research their incompetence at a later date? Except I didn't say incompetence.

I did suggest there were better things they could do with their time. And to please, please leave me alone.