D.F.W.L.Y., Attorneys at Law

D.F.W.L.Y., Attorneys at Law, doesn't bother with putting the names of partners in their title. Instead, they just tell it like it is: D.F.W.L.Y., stands for Don't Fool With Lawyers Y'all. They are an exceptional firm, located in a stately building in Central Birmingham. And, one of these lawyers handles my evictions.

To give you and idea of what I pay, D.F.W.L.Y. has annual billable hours equivalent to a small oil-rich Middle Eastern country's gross domestic product.

A few months ago, my bookkeeper and I were talking over the phone. I was mindlessly opening bills, reporting them to her. All of the sudden the sound of a strangled cat left my throat.

"Are you there?" She asks.

I whimper.

Realization hits her. Emphatically, she accuses, "You opened D.F.W.L.Y. didn't you."

I whimper again.

Exasperated, she starts in, "You have no business reading that bill! Were you wearing asbestos gloves? Did you at least have on eye protection?" The questions are rhetorical, because she and I both know she owns the flack jacket. Panic sets in, "Listen to me, and listen good. You put that bill back in the envelope and step away. Do you hear me? Walk away."

Ok, that wasn't exactly how it went. I whimpered a bit more than I let on here. I may have shed a tear or two. And, at her suggestion, my bookkeeper does get the bills with the envelope intact these days. I can say to her out of the clear blue, "How much was it?" and she will know I am talking about D.F.W.L.Y.

So, why do I use them? I happen to like my attorney and her delightful paralegal quite a bit. They are both good at what they do. That kind of competency is painfully pricey. But, financing my attorney's son's college fund isn't the only reason I stay. I have called around to other firms to see what I could find.

I spoke with one lawyer who summed it up. After telling him who I use he said, "Even I can't afford D.F.W.L.Y.!" Then, when I explained what I needed from him, he was quiet a moment and then said, "Wow. You have a lot going on. The reputation of the lawyer you are using is a good one. You better stick with her."