So, this past month I have not made any good friends over at the ole' property management company. In fact, I am pretty sure when the phone over rings, and they see the Arizona area code, they all stare into space, kind of playing their own version receptionist "Chicken" to see who will answer it first.
To put things into perspective, Flunky (who has been tentatively promoted in my book lately from "Asshat" to "Hat") and I currently have most stable relationship over there. So, as you can see. I am not loved. But I don't care as long as they do what I pay them to do.
Which brings me to the other aspect of this month. I have a vacant home. It needs some maintenance. So, at the beginning of November, I asked for the power and water to be turned on at the home. I also asked for a key to be left in the lockbox and even verified the code (1966--because that is what it always is).
Two weeks later, when I had coordinated everything with my repair people, the locks had been changed again (this is after they had changed it in October). There was no key. There was no lockbox either. About that time I was going ballistic over the property management folks continuing to drop the ball and pretty much was black-listed from everyone's Christmas card list.
The week before Thanksgiving, I got a call from the maintenance company I hired. Would I please turn on the power and water? This was news to me. After all, I had requested this weeks ago. The maintenance company also asked if a lockbox could be put at the home so they could come and go. Another surprise, given I was specifically told this had been done.
Last week, I contacted Willy, asking if someone for the love of all things holy could please have the damn water and power turned on. After all, I had been asking for a month and had been told it was completed. I also asked if I could have a lockbox--like the one that had been there a week earlier--reinstalled so I could get my repair folks in the door.
Willy replied by telling me some intern was involved in this process. I wanted to ask if they taught "picking up the phone and calling the power company" in one of her college classes, but thought better of it. Willy also directed me to Flunky who swore a lockbox had been installed. I even confirmed the code with him the Wednesday before Thanksgiving: 1966? Yep. That's it.
Additionally, I got back to Willy on the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving confirming the intern had earned her keep by making those two itsy bitsy phone calls. Why yes, of course the water and power are on! Don't be silly. After all, she is a college student.
Last Friday--the day after Thanksgiving--I found out there was indeed a lockbox. But the code wasn't 1966. After texting Flunky, he gave me 1995 and 1985. Nope.
I also texted Luigi saying, "I understand this is a holiday weekend, but I have people who have been held up a month by you folks waiting to get in the house and please have the one person who can figure out the lockbox code that has always been 1966 for the past three years contact me immediately." It turns out the code is now 1996.
Also, this 1955 house, apparently is impossible to break into unless one is shattering a window.
Once that drama was solved, the good folks at Make It Ready went in. Only to find out the water hadn't been turned on. According to Willy today, it was because it was a holiday week last week. I did not pursue this and ask if it had indeed been holiday weeks the last five weeks this request had been made. I figure I have done enough damage.
Marty Sunshine and Carolsue think this is retaliation for Hurricane Landlord a couple of weeks ago. I am leaning towards incompetence.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
I'm Not Taking the Heat for this One
A year ago, we closed our PO Box. Frankly at that point in our accidental business, the only mail I was getting was credit card solicitations and a mortgage statement for the home on Hysteria Lane. This particular home is in Mr. Partner's name. At the time, I closed it, I told Mr. Partner please call the bank and have the mortgage statements sent to either me or Bliz. I didn't care which. We just needed to make sure we could pay them.
Meanwhile, because I wasn't getting the bill for the home, and the mortgage was being paid automatically every month, I didn't give it much thought. I figured Mr. Partner has forwarded the statement to Bliz. Additionally, because Bliz and I have much, much more pressing items to discuss other than silly mortgage statements, it never came up. Why would it? To my knowledge, the mortgage was being paid.
But behind the scenes, months ago, Mr. Partner had started getting calls from this particular bank. And you know what he did? He ignored them. Yep. He didn't answer one call. Presumably, he also got mail to his home address (because, trust me on this one, when a bank wants money, they find every avenue to tell you that you are late).
Anyway, Mr. Partner got a phone call today. This time he didn't ignore it. And boy was he mad.
When he called Marty (thank God, he called Marty and not me), he wanted to make sure heads were rolling. Apparently there is a problem. What do you know? The payments we have been making for the past year are completely incorrect. In fact, because we have been shorting the payments for so long, the mortgage company has raised our payment amount significantly. Maybe it is just me, but it would have been nice to know this much, much sooner.
Of course, if the payments had been coming to me or Bliz all along, or if he had answered his phone or mail for the past few months this might have not been an issue at all.
Meanwhile, because I wasn't getting the bill for the home, and the mortgage was being paid automatically every month, I didn't give it much thought. I figured Mr. Partner has forwarded the statement to Bliz. Additionally, because Bliz and I have much, much more pressing items to discuss other than silly mortgage statements, it never came up. Why would it? To my knowledge, the mortgage was being paid.
But behind the scenes, months ago, Mr. Partner had started getting calls from this particular bank. And you know what he did? He ignored them. Yep. He didn't answer one call. Presumably, he also got mail to his home address (because, trust me on this one, when a bank wants money, they find every avenue to tell you that you are late).
Anyway, Mr. Partner got a phone call today. This time he didn't ignore it. And boy was he mad.
When he called Marty (thank God, he called Marty and not me), he wanted to make sure heads were rolling. Apparently there is a problem. What do you know? The payments we have been making for the past year are completely incorrect. In fact, because we have been shorting the payments for so long, the mortgage company has raised our payment amount significantly. Maybe it is just me, but it would have been nice to know this much, much sooner.
Of course, if the payments had been coming to me or Bliz all along, or if he had answered his phone or mail for the past few months this might have not been an issue at all.
Bittersweet
I got clarification on the new Maintenance hierarchy at the property management company. Flunky has been demoted to "Owner Coordinator" which means I still have to deal with him.
Fabio--whom Carolsue tells me is "totally hot"--is the new Maintenance Manager. His job is two-fold: he is to negotiate the best prices on the work and he is to do quality control over the vendors to make sure the work is done properly.
Fabio--whom Carolsue tells me is "totally hot"--is the new Maintenance Manager. His job is two-fold: he is to negotiate the best prices on the work and he is to do quality control over the vendors to make sure the work is done properly.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
The Landlord Who Stole Christmas
To be quite honest, my hissy fit at the property management company last Friday was a consciously timed decision. My thought was pay up give 30 day move notices, which would put the offending deadbeats on the street (or probably moving) right before Christmas. And in my passive-aggressive Aries head, I was perfectly fine with this arrangement.
I should also state, that Willy, who is my main contact at the property management company, is not the person who has been collecting the rents, but then again, nobody has. But really, but in this case it is not Willy's department that deals with rent collection. So, my scathing conversation with him last week should have been at someone else--though I'm not sure who. Meanwhile, I have now been passed to Ms. Amy. I suspect I was passed to her because, either she was the one taking the partial payments, she drew the short straw or she felt brave enough to deal with me. Or all of the above. I have always liked Ms. Amy best at that company, so that works for me.
Back to my dilemma at hand. I have three tenants--all of them renting the three properties Marty Sunshine and I own without any partners--who seem to feel I am running a homeless shelter. In fact, they repeatedly pay late with no consequence. Of the three tenants, two of them are on month-to-month leases and can be given a 30 day notice at any time to haul their butts somewhere else, hence I waited until last week to stir up trouble.
My first stop in my tirade was to go after the the home (month to month) where the professional football player is living. I was pretty sure his girlfriend didn't want to move herself to an new home during his prime working season. By the way, she paid in full last Friday and has stated paying late will no longer be an issue. My tenant in Fultondale managed to pay a sizable payment this month, and their particular mortgage is the least expensive, so I will work on them in later.
However, Mrs. Martin (who is in a lease), has some zen payment schedule only known to her. Not only does she pay when she wants, she pays what she wants. For example, she was under the mistaken impression November's rent was only $150 and nothing else would be necessary for me to be a happy owner. If this were the first time she had played this game, I might have been sympathetic, but no. Frankly, Buckaroo turned 13 seven weeks ago and our weekly grocery bill has tripled since.
Anyway, Monday I found out Mrs. Martin got the message: pay up or leave. So, she wrote Ms. Amy an e-mail with a sob story. At the end of the very long list of excuses, she said she is more than happy to make payment arrangements by December 5 (a Saturday, mind you) and the rest--and I am not making this up--sometime "after Christmas." Ms. Amy asked if I was ok with this arrangement. Oh yes, lest I forget, Mrs. Martin also said the reason she is normally late is she gets her first paycheck of the month on the 16th. (I'm guessing the particular paycheck this month was only for $150.)
First, I was not ok with this arrangement. There was nothing in her e-mail that said she would pay by December 5, just that she would make arrangements. Second of all, there are a lot of days between "After Christmas 2015" and "After some random Christmas later in life."
After a bit of back and forth, here is what I finally agreed upon. She can pay the entire balance of what is owed to me in back rent by close of business December 4, 2015 (notice I added the year). I will not accept a penny less. Nor will I accept the payment on December 7, 2015 at 8:01 a.m. Legalowl is standing by and ready to evict and garnish her wages on December 7.
Additionally, she is not waiting until sometime after Christmas to pay December's rent. She is not going to go out and spend a bunch of money that is contractually owed to me on do-dads for her grandchildren and friends and then expect me to be understanding. No. She will have December's rent paid in full--along with late fees--by December 17. If she doesn't, please see the last sentence in the above paragraph.
I also told Ms. Amy, "From this point forward, rent will not be accepted if she pays after the fifth of any future month. Nor will it be accepted if it is one penny less than what she owes. No more deals. No more negotiating. This is her one and only chance. Merry Christmas to her."
This apparently was conveyed to Mrs. Martin (though I am sure Ms. Amy was a bit more polite). Mrs. Martin came back and said she would "break her back" to make sure rent was on time from now on. She didn't want to move.
I should also state, that Willy, who is my main contact at the property management company, is not the person who has been collecting the rents, but then again, nobody has. But really, but in this case it is not Willy's department that deals with rent collection. So, my scathing conversation with him last week should have been at someone else--though I'm not sure who. Meanwhile, I have now been passed to Ms. Amy. I suspect I was passed to her because, either she was the one taking the partial payments, she drew the short straw or she felt brave enough to deal with me. Or all of the above. I have always liked Ms. Amy best at that company, so that works for me.
Back to my dilemma at hand. I have three tenants--all of them renting the three properties Marty Sunshine and I own without any partners--who seem to feel I am running a homeless shelter. In fact, they repeatedly pay late with no consequence. Of the three tenants, two of them are on month-to-month leases and can be given a 30 day notice at any time to haul their butts somewhere else, hence I waited until last week to stir up trouble.
My first stop in my tirade was to go after the the home (month to month) where the professional football player is living. I was pretty sure his girlfriend didn't want to move herself to an new home during his prime working season. By the way, she paid in full last Friday and has stated paying late will no longer be an issue. My tenant in Fultondale managed to pay a sizable payment this month, and their particular mortgage is the least expensive, so I will work on them in later.
However, Mrs. Martin (who is in a lease), has some zen payment schedule only known to her. Not only does she pay when she wants, she pays what she wants. For example, she was under the mistaken impression November's rent was only $150 and nothing else would be necessary for me to be a happy owner. If this were the first time she had played this game, I might have been sympathetic, but no. Frankly, Buckaroo turned 13 seven weeks ago and our weekly grocery bill has tripled since.
Anyway, Monday I found out Mrs. Martin got the message: pay up or leave. So, she wrote Ms. Amy an e-mail with a sob story. At the end of the very long list of excuses, she said she is more than happy to make payment arrangements by December 5 (a Saturday, mind you) and the rest--and I am not making this up--sometime "after Christmas." Ms. Amy asked if I was ok with this arrangement. Oh yes, lest I forget, Mrs. Martin also said the reason she is normally late is she gets her first paycheck of the month on the 16th. (I'm guessing the particular paycheck this month was only for $150.)
First, I was not ok with this arrangement. There was nothing in her e-mail that said she would pay by December 5, just that she would make arrangements. Second of all, there are a lot of days between "After Christmas 2015" and "After some random Christmas later in life."
After a bit of back and forth, here is what I finally agreed upon. She can pay the entire balance of what is owed to me in back rent by close of business December 4, 2015 (notice I added the year). I will not accept a penny less. Nor will I accept the payment on December 7, 2015 at 8:01 a.m. Legalowl is standing by and ready to evict and garnish her wages on December 7.
Additionally, she is not waiting until sometime after Christmas to pay December's rent. She is not going to go out and spend a bunch of money that is contractually owed to me on do-dads for her grandchildren and friends and then expect me to be understanding. No. She will have December's rent paid in full--along with late fees--by December 17. If she doesn't, please see the last sentence in the above paragraph.
I also told Ms. Amy, "From this point forward, rent will not be accepted if she pays after the fifth of any future month. Nor will it be accepted if it is one penny less than what she owes. No more deals. No more negotiating. This is her one and only chance. Merry Christmas to her."
This apparently was conveyed to Mrs. Martin (though I am sure Ms. Amy was a bit more polite). Mrs. Martin came back and said she would "break her back" to make sure rent was on time from now on. She didn't want to move.
Monday, November 23, 2015
This Just In
Luigi sent me an e-mail today. He is restructuring. AND Flunky the Asshat Maintenance Manager is no longer the Maintenance Manager. Not sure if he is still employed, but frankly anyone else has to be a vast improvement.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Not Sure They Are Calling Me "A Dream Owner" Anymore
Last Friday I got into a scathing argument with Willy at Luigi's office. My complaint is that he has let my tenants slide with making partial payments and there has been no consequence to the tenants so they continue to do so. His response was "perhaps we have differing opinions of what property managers do."
Perhaps we do. And I told him so. I also told him in my definition, a property manager has a fiduciary responsibility to protect their client's assets. Because the property manager works for the owner, not the tenant. At least that is the legal definition in 49 other states. I also wrote a lot of other things that included "I am not running a homeless shelter." And if truth be told, I yelled a lot of other things that it is probably a good thing Willy didn't hear through cyber space.
I also e-mailed Luigi saying that if I (again) have to manage my properties and, in this case, his staff, please just put me on the payroll. I would love to tell you that was well received. But no.
In fact, my comments were so poorly received that Willy the Coward started having another person in the office answer my e-mails. However, I did make headway. One tenant, who was told that she was facing immediate eviction if she didn't haul her butt down to the property management office immediately, actually paid up.
The other tenant--the worst offended--still thinks I am kidding apparently because she didn't do anything. Why would she? Willy hasn't stuck up for me this long. So, tomorrow it is a call to LegalOwl, letting her know to evict this chick. She can find another owner to screw over.
Perhaps we do. And I told him so. I also told him in my definition, a property manager has a fiduciary responsibility to protect their client's assets. Because the property manager works for the owner, not the tenant. At least that is the legal definition in 49 other states. I also wrote a lot of other things that included "I am not running a homeless shelter." And if truth be told, I yelled a lot of other things that it is probably a good thing Willy didn't hear through cyber space.
I also e-mailed Luigi saying that if I (again) have to manage my properties and, in this case, his staff, please just put me on the payroll. I would love to tell you that was well received. But no.
In fact, my comments were so poorly received that Willy the Coward started having another person in the office answer my e-mails. However, I did make headway. One tenant, who was told that she was facing immediate eviction if she didn't haul her butt down to the property management office immediately, actually paid up.
The other tenant--the worst offended--still thinks I am kidding apparently because she didn't do anything. Why would she? Willy hasn't stuck up for me this long. So, tomorrow it is a call to LegalOwl, letting her know to evict this chick. She can find another owner to screw over.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Done. Done. Done.
It appears there is administrative red tape for our deed in lieu of foreclosure.
Issue Number 1: "The appraiser can't access the property." I find this hard to believe for the following reasons:
1. The property management company has been more than willing to give out the keys, but nobody has come by.
2. There is a lock box on the property and I have given out the code to everyone East of the Mississippi who wants it (1966 if you care).
3. The house is missing the garage door.
4. The house is missing almost every window.
I am certain between reasons 1 and 4, someone can find their way into this house if they really want to go in it.
Issue Number 2:
Some lawyer somewhere wants a signed statement from our former partners saying they agree to this foreclosure. Good luck with that. They haven't been our partners since 2007. They may or may not be living in this country. If not, they are in Asia somewhere. In order for them to sign (and notarize) they would have to find an American Consulate. And the letter would have to be back before close of business next Wednesday. Yeah, that's not happening.
Because of these issues, our deed in lieu has become a judicial foreclosure. At this point, I just don't care.
Issue Number 1: "The appraiser can't access the property." I find this hard to believe for the following reasons:
1. The property management company has been more than willing to give out the keys, but nobody has come by.
2. There is a lock box on the property and I have given out the code to everyone East of the Mississippi who wants it (1966 if you care).
3. The house is missing the garage door.
4. The house is missing almost every window.
I am certain between reasons 1 and 4, someone can find their way into this house if they really want to go in it.
Issue Number 2:
Some lawyer somewhere wants a signed statement from our former partners saying they agree to this foreclosure. Good luck with that. They haven't been our partners since 2007. They may or may not be living in this country. If not, they are in Asia somewhere. In order for them to sign (and notarize) they would have to find an American Consulate. And the letter would have to be back before close of business next Wednesday. Yeah, that's not happening.
Because of these issues, our deed in lieu has become a judicial foreclosure. At this point, I just don't care.
I'm Thinking Serial Killers Need Not Apply
It is rental season around here. Yes, I am up to my armpits in showing rentals this week. The 13 year old is perpetually hungry, so rentals it is. Anyway, I was looking for a rental for a client of mine. In the private realtor remarks I found the following qualifications the owner would accept.
"For a more smooth application process: Be sure to have client prepared with proof of income (Bank statements or pay stubs) and letters from previous landlords *** Please make sure that your clients have MINIMUM credit scores of 550, make Minimum 2.5x monthly rent, no evictions in the past 7 years, and a minimal criminal history."
Monday, November 16, 2015
Yes. Really.
And speaking of ways not to rent a home...
Please don't call me, wanting to rent a home and then disclose you are self employed. When I inquire what kind of business you say "growing herbs."
No. No. No.
Please don't call me, wanting to rent a home and then disclose you are self employed. When I inquire what kind of business you say "growing herbs."
No. No. No.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
How Not To Rent A Home
It's been a while since I covered this particular topic, but apparently it bears repeating. Unfortunately, the people who need to hear it the most don't read this blog.
If you are looking for a rental property, it is in your best interest to make a positive first impression. When I show homes, I coach prospective tenants on this. It is amazing how many of them need a quick charm-school lesson. But, that is for another blog.
Currently, I have two rental homes listed for rent for Arizona clients. They are--and I am not making this up--80 miles apart and still in the same county. Both homes are fantastic and have a lot of pluses, especially as far as rentals go. Both owners are requiring the same from prospective tenants: no evictions, no felonies, must currently earn three times the monthly rent and finally, no pets.
Let me repeat that last part: no pets. Frankly--as much as I like animals--I don't see why any landlord would allow pets. Ever. I also know there may come a time sooner than later where I have to rent and my cat comes with me. Hopefully, I can find the one landlord who will be so gracious as to make an exception. But it won't be my two clients. And I don't blame them a bit. And for that matter, I don't allow pets in my rental homes either.
That said, the number of calls and e-mails I get daily is increasing as I get closer to the middle of the month. "Will you allow section 8" (That was for the 3,500 square foot $1,900 rental I have in the West Valley). No. And your Section 8 voucher will only give you $1100.
"I have an eviction but it wasn't my fault?" Was your name on the lease? Then you have an eviction.
"My husband and I are both felons." Was it for drunk driving? "No." Let's see... the main types of felonies are drugs, crimes against people, crimes against property. If it wasn't for a DUI, it was probably for one of the three formerly mentioned. I understand you have done your time. But do your former (or current?) felon friends understand you have done your time and will they come looking for you in my client's home? For that matter, though you may have paid your debt to society, how do my clients know you have changed your lifestyle?
"Currently making three times the rent--gross" isn't really that crazy of a requirement. It is even for the the tenant's own protection. If they make that much, they can afford the house, if they don't, they will probably end up with an eviction on their record. I am floored at the number of folks calling me lately who can't multiply times three. I am even more floored at the number of unemployed folks calling me saying they don't have a job, but need somewhere to live and will the owner just give them a chance. I often give them the name of a few charities to help people in their situation until they get back on their feet. My owners have assets. They want them protected. They aren't running a homeless shelter.
And of course, back to the pets. "It is a little dog." "It is a sweet cat." yep. But they are still furry critters and the owners said no. "But if you would just ask....?" I asked. They said no to the last six people who have four legged family members. No.
While we are on the subject or prospective tenants, please don't call me at 8 a.m. on a Sunday, using big flowery words instead of the usual cultural vernacular. It tries my patience.
Today's call went like this:
"Would you be willing to take it upon yourself to allow us access into your rental at some time of mutual convenience so that we may ascertain whether or not it would be suitable habitation for us?" (barf).
Me: The owner is not allowing pets, felons, evictions and you must make three times the rent. Do you fit this criteria?
Tenant: Will the owner make an exception, as we have a charming American Bulldog.
Me: So, you have have a pitbull.
In all fairness, the woman sort of gasped when I suggested no felons too. But either way, there wouldn't be a time of mutual convenience where they could see the house.
If you are looking for a rental property, it is in your best interest to make a positive first impression. When I show homes, I coach prospective tenants on this. It is amazing how many of them need a quick charm-school lesson. But, that is for another blog.
Currently, I have two rental homes listed for rent for Arizona clients. They are--and I am not making this up--80 miles apart and still in the same county. Both homes are fantastic and have a lot of pluses, especially as far as rentals go. Both owners are requiring the same from prospective tenants: no evictions, no felonies, must currently earn three times the monthly rent and finally, no pets.
Let me repeat that last part: no pets. Frankly--as much as I like animals--I don't see why any landlord would allow pets. Ever. I also know there may come a time sooner than later where I have to rent and my cat comes with me. Hopefully, I can find the one landlord who will be so gracious as to make an exception. But it won't be my two clients. And I don't blame them a bit. And for that matter, I don't allow pets in my rental homes either.
That said, the number of calls and e-mails I get daily is increasing as I get closer to the middle of the month. "Will you allow section 8" (That was for the 3,500 square foot $1,900 rental I have in the West Valley). No. And your Section 8 voucher will only give you $1100.
"I have an eviction but it wasn't my fault?" Was your name on the lease? Then you have an eviction.
"My husband and I are both felons." Was it for drunk driving? "No." Let's see... the main types of felonies are drugs, crimes against people, crimes against property. If it wasn't for a DUI, it was probably for one of the three formerly mentioned. I understand you have done your time. But do your former (or current?) felon friends understand you have done your time and will they come looking for you in my client's home? For that matter, though you may have paid your debt to society, how do my clients know you have changed your lifestyle?
"Currently making three times the rent--gross" isn't really that crazy of a requirement. It is even for the the tenant's own protection. If they make that much, they can afford the house, if they don't, they will probably end up with an eviction on their record. I am floored at the number of folks calling me lately who can't multiply times three. I am even more floored at the number of unemployed folks calling me saying they don't have a job, but need somewhere to live and will the owner just give them a chance. I often give them the name of a few charities to help people in their situation until they get back on their feet. My owners have assets. They want them protected. They aren't running a homeless shelter.
And of course, back to the pets. "It is a little dog." "It is a sweet cat." yep. But they are still furry critters and the owners said no. "But if you would just ask....?" I asked. They said no to the last six people who have four legged family members. No.
While we are on the subject or prospective tenants, please don't call me at 8 a.m. on a Sunday, using big flowery words instead of the usual cultural vernacular. It tries my patience.
Today's call went like this:
"Would you be willing to take it upon yourself to allow us access into your rental at some time of mutual convenience so that we may ascertain whether or not it would be suitable habitation for us?" (barf).
Me: The owner is not allowing pets, felons, evictions and you must make three times the rent. Do you fit this criteria?
Tenant: Will the owner make an exception, as we have a charming American Bulldog.
Me: So, you have have a pitbull.
In all fairness, the woman sort of gasped when I suggested no felons too. But either way, there wouldn't be a time of mutual convenience where they could see the house.
Saturday, November 07, 2015
On the Fence
Today's ole' Blog is courtesy of our favorite Maintenance Manager who sent me photos of a repair he allegedly completed at my home in Alabaster. Apparently there was an issue with the fence leaning over a few weeks ago. I have heard nothing since and just figured someone would get to it when the tenant squawked loud enough.
And, because this week I once again ran to Luigi and offered my two cents about the level of service his company was offering, Flunky opted to be Flunky on the Spot. He apparently got sick of hearing the tenant squawk or decided to curry favor in my camp (who am I kidding) and send me a follow up e-mail about how the work has been completed, and please see the photos.
Is this "completed?" You decide.
To be fair, he sent me about five variations of this photo. This was the best of the bunch.
For some reason, he also sent me these two as well.
And, because this week I once again ran to Luigi and offered my two cents about the level of service his company was offering, Flunky opted to be Flunky on the Spot. He apparently got sick of hearing the tenant squawk or decided to curry favor in my camp (who am I kidding) and send me a follow up e-mail about how the work has been completed, and please see the photos.
Is this "completed?" You decide.
To be fair, he sent me about five variations of this photo. This was the best of the bunch.
For some reason, he also sent me these two as well.
I did write back to Flunky (and CC Luigi) suggesting that surely he did more than just use my money to prop up the fence with two freestanding posts. These are the before photos, right? And if so, would he please send over the "after" pictures as well?
And don't ask me about these last two pictures that he included. I recognize the one as the interior of my home in Alabaster (and I believe that is a rug that once belonged to the first tenant who lived there in 2006). And other seems to be a truck bed with various junk strewn about.
I don't expect a response to my e-mail this weekend (or for that matter, at all). What I really hope Flunky is doing instead of responding is actually fixing the fence this time.
Friday, November 06, 2015
Ooops He Did It Again
So, Flunky sent me a quote to make my vacant home rent-ready. The lovely quote for $3,700 included such items as "waxing the floors" and "removing the vine from the side of the home." When I saw the quote, I wrote the most polite and professional e-mail I could muster.
I asked Flunky if all the items on the list were necessary and could he please give me a bare-bones quote instead, because I know Mr. Partner will never agree to $3,700 (and neither would I). Now, you see what I did here? I allowed Flunky a chance to save face. Give me a better quote and we will both be happy.
But Flunky the Asshat Maintenance Manager didn't come by his name accidentally. Instead, Flunky wrote me back, telling me all of the items were indeed necessary to make the home rent-ready and if I knew a thing or two about property management, I would know not to question his superior intellect. Or, something to that affect.
Instead, I made two decisions. The first one was to find someone else to do the work. And what do you know! I found a quote for significantly less money. In fact, it is 60 percent less. Additionally, it is from someone I know and trust over in Birmingham.
The second item on my to-do list was to forward Flunky's e-mail to Luigi, explaining that once again, Flunky lost Luigi some money. After all, this is Luigi's maintenance company too. I explained the Flunky's quote seemed like fluffy-bunny stuff with a huge price tag. I said I am getting same work done for much less from an outside vendor. And, this was someone I knew and trusted, so it isn't like I just went to Craigslist and tried my luck on the first sober person who picked up the phone.
I asked Flunky if all the items on the list were necessary and could he please give me a bare-bones quote instead, because I know Mr. Partner will never agree to $3,700 (and neither would I). Now, you see what I did here? I allowed Flunky a chance to save face. Give me a better quote and we will both be happy.
But Flunky the Asshat Maintenance Manager didn't come by his name accidentally. Instead, Flunky wrote me back, telling me all of the items were indeed necessary to make the home rent-ready and if I knew a thing or two about property management, I would know not to question his superior intellect. Or, something to that affect.
Instead, I made two decisions. The first one was to find someone else to do the work. And what do you know! I found a quote for significantly less money. In fact, it is 60 percent less. Additionally, it is from someone I know and trust over in Birmingham.
The second item on my to-do list was to forward Flunky's e-mail to Luigi, explaining that once again, Flunky lost Luigi some money. After all, this is Luigi's maintenance company too. I explained the Flunky's quote seemed like fluffy-bunny stuff with a huge price tag. I said I am getting same work done for much less from an outside vendor. And, this was someone I knew and trusted, so it isn't like I just went to Craigslist and tried my luck on the first sober person who picked up the phone.
I understand everything has a cost and time isn't free. Flunky's time is valuable too and I am sure he doesn't want to spend hours figuring out what needs to be done only to have his price undercut. Nor do I appreciate spending hours on the phone having someone give me a better price. I have other things to do too and after all, that is why I hired a property management company to begin with.
Truth be told, I don't want Flunky touching my houses. And it appears he doesn't want to work anyway.
Thursday, November 05, 2015
The Tale of Two Foreclosures (part 2)
Though the Pinson Foreclosure is going extraordinarily well, the same can't be said for the foreclosure in North Birmingham.
Ironically, this home would not be in foreclosure if the bank hadn't called the second mortgage due last year for no reason. The months we fought that, coupled with the tenant moving out, the property needing some TLC (which equates to an influx of cash we didn't have) to make it move-in ready, caused a snowball affect we just couldn't recover from. If only one of those items had happened: the second loan being called due or the tenant moving out, we probably would have fought our way back up.
This particular home has a first and second mortgage with the same bank. At the same time we decided to let this one go as well as the Pinson home, the mortgage company came to us and said, "We have agreed to modify your loan. Yay you."
Last April when I explained to the Asset Manager it was too little, too late, he gave me my options: have a short sale with the agent of our choosing or let the home go into foreclosure. He assured me a foreclosure was a very, very bad choice and I would be better off going the (cough-cough) short sale route. But it was my decision.
As we were talking that day last April, he told me he had just pulled up Marty Sunshine's credit and was shocked we were making the decision to let the home go. He explicitly implied (can one explicitly imply?) that we must have money somewhere and why don't we act like grow ups, suck it up and pay what we owe and keep the house. I told him we would if we could. And perhaps if his bank had not called the loan due, or even modified it months earlier instead of repeatedly asking for the same documents, we could have pulled it off. But by then, we were out of money. Our home was vacant and we did not have the capital to make it rent-ready.
Since then, the Asset Manager's name has been changed to the Bigoted Ass. Manager. Which, by the way, he is. Kirby was our agent for this short sale. The Bigoted Ass. Manager told me I should find one who understands the neighborhood better and "the kind of people" who would want a home like I had in "special neighborhoods."
Kirby worked his buns off and brought in four cash offers. The Bigoted Ass. Manager's imaginary committee said they would only consider one of the offers if Marty and I brought several thousand dollars more than our loan obligation to the table. They asked us to sign a promissory note--which I suppose we could have signed, but we didn't have the money to pay it anyway and didn't want to take on that debt.
We then asked to do a deed in lieu of foreclose. The Ass. Manager sent me an awe shucks e-mail saying we really didn't want to do that and gee whiz, he didn't know how to do one anyway. So, no.
At that point, Legal Owl told us to ignore the bank. They would eventually figure out we weren't paying. She also said to pay the taxes and insurance on the property, but I am not sure that's a good idea. We paid the insurance last July. In my opinion, the Bigoted Ass. Manager took that to mean we were playing games with the mortgage company. We were just trying to be responsible.
Last week we got a letter from some attorney who is representing the bank. The letter went on to state the bank is starting a judicial foreclosure process. It seems silly to me, but whatever. Marty Sunshine called the attorney and asked her if we could just do a deed in lieu of foreclosure. It would be faster and cheaper for all involved. After all, we are happy to cooperate and they can have keys at any time. The attorney agreed and asked who we had been working with at the bank. Marty cheerfully supplied the attorney with the Bigoted Ass. Manger's contact info.
The attorney called us back yesterday, absolutely floored. Not only would the Bigoted Ass. Manager not agree to any easy way to make this end, apparently this guy is trying to stick it to us. He told the attorney unless we agree to pay what we owe or sign a promissory note, they will just do a judicial foreclosure. She didn't say it seemed personal, but that is what was explicitly implied.
Ironically, this home would not be in foreclosure if the bank hadn't called the second mortgage due last year for no reason. The months we fought that, coupled with the tenant moving out, the property needing some TLC (which equates to an influx of cash we didn't have) to make it move-in ready, caused a snowball affect we just couldn't recover from. If only one of those items had happened: the second loan being called due or the tenant moving out, we probably would have fought our way back up.
This particular home has a first and second mortgage with the same bank. At the same time we decided to let this one go as well as the Pinson home, the mortgage company came to us and said, "We have agreed to modify your loan. Yay you."
Last April when I explained to the Asset Manager it was too little, too late, he gave me my options: have a short sale with the agent of our choosing or let the home go into foreclosure. He assured me a foreclosure was a very, very bad choice and I would be better off going the (cough-cough) short sale route. But it was my decision.
As we were talking that day last April, he told me he had just pulled up Marty Sunshine's credit and was shocked we were making the decision to let the home go. He explicitly implied (can one explicitly imply?) that we must have money somewhere and why don't we act like grow ups, suck it up and pay what we owe and keep the house. I told him we would if we could. And perhaps if his bank had not called the loan due, or even modified it months earlier instead of repeatedly asking for the same documents, we could have pulled it off. But by then, we were out of money. Our home was vacant and we did not have the capital to make it rent-ready.
Since then, the Asset Manager's name has been changed to the Bigoted Ass. Manager. Which, by the way, he is. Kirby was our agent for this short sale. The Bigoted Ass. Manager told me I should find one who understands the neighborhood better and "the kind of people" who would want a home like I had in "special neighborhoods."
Kirby worked his buns off and brought in four cash offers. The Bigoted Ass. Manager's imaginary committee said they would only consider one of the offers if Marty and I brought several thousand dollars more than our loan obligation to the table. They asked us to sign a promissory note--which I suppose we could have signed, but we didn't have the money to pay it anyway and didn't want to take on that debt.
We then asked to do a deed in lieu of foreclose. The Ass. Manager sent me an awe shucks e-mail saying we really didn't want to do that and gee whiz, he didn't know how to do one anyway. So, no.
At that point, Legal Owl told us to ignore the bank. They would eventually figure out we weren't paying. She also said to pay the taxes and insurance on the property, but I am not sure that's a good idea. We paid the insurance last July. In my opinion, the Bigoted Ass. Manager took that to mean we were playing games with the mortgage company. We were just trying to be responsible.
Last week we got a letter from some attorney who is representing the bank. The letter went on to state the bank is starting a judicial foreclosure process. It seems silly to me, but whatever. Marty Sunshine called the attorney and asked her if we could just do a deed in lieu of foreclosure. It would be faster and cheaper for all involved. After all, we are happy to cooperate and they can have keys at any time. The attorney agreed and asked who we had been working with at the bank. Marty cheerfully supplied the attorney with the Bigoted Ass. Manger's contact info.
The attorney called us back yesterday, absolutely floored. Not only would the Bigoted Ass. Manager not agree to any easy way to make this end, apparently this guy is trying to stick it to us. He told the attorney unless we agree to pay what we owe or sign a promissory note, they will just do a judicial foreclosure. She didn't say it seemed personal, but that is what was explicitly implied.
Wednesday, November 04, 2015
The Tale of Two Foreclosures (part 1)
The saga of the home in Pinson will soon be coming to an end. This charming three bedroom home is nestled in a small rural mountain area, situated on two acres. Though the porch spans the front of the home, after the main back yard, there just happens to be a little pond out yonder.
The idiot couple with the 640+ credit score who moved in last year trashed the place, skirted the law, didn't pay rent and stayed for a year. I finally got to see the place this past March. While the tenant was giving me some sob story about how awful her life was and how it was her boyfriend who caused all the damage, I was quickly calculating how much money I would have to bring in to fix the place. When I mentally hit $40k, I stopped counting, had a semi-serious panic attack and immediately went back to the car. I knew insurance would not give us anywhere near that amount to make the place habitable. We had drained our savings paying for homes deadbeats had ruined so that we could keep our credit intact.
Credit be damned. We couldn't do it any more. It wasn't a decision we entered into lightly, but we opted to stop paying the mortgage. We contacted mortgage folks and asked what we needed to do to give the home back as peacefully and as quickly as possible. Please! Just take it.
It is now six months later. I have worked with several people at the mortgage company, including a woman named "NayNay" who apparently only answered e-mails, not phone calls, and seemed to have a serious aversion to good punctuation and grammar. For the last couple of months, we have been working with Jonathan. He returns calls and e-mails and has been spot on with his assistance.
We also have a second mortgage on this particular home. Representatives call me twice every day. Seven days a week. These representatives aren't very nice. In fact, one even told me if I would just stop drinking Starbucks I could afford to pay the mortgage. Oh... if only I could afford Starbucks right now.
Even with the idiot representatives at the second mortgage company, this has been a relatively smooth process. In fact, if this was the only time in my life I was going into foreclosure, I would say the process was streamlined and everyone (sans the snarky folks from India who work for the second mortgage company) was professional and polite.
By the way, our foreclosure sale is November 30, just in case you want a sweet little home nestled in the mountains with a lovely view and a pond.
The idiot couple with the 640+ credit score who moved in last year trashed the place, skirted the law, didn't pay rent and stayed for a year. I finally got to see the place this past March. While the tenant was giving me some sob story about how awful her life was and how it was her boyfriend who caused all the damage, I was quickly calculating how much money I would have to bring in to fix the place. When I mentally hit $40k, I stopped counting, had a semi-serious panic attack and immediately went back to the car. I knew insurance would not give us anywhere near that amount to make the place habitable. We had drained our savings paying for homes deadbeats had ruined so that we could keep our credit intact.
Credit be damned. We couldn't do it any more. It wasn't a decision we entered into lightly, but we opted to stop paying the mortgage. We contacted mortgage folks and asked what we needed to do to give the home back as peacefully and as quickly as possible. Please! Just take it.
It is now six months later. I have worked with several people at the mortgage company, including a woman named "NayNay" who apparently only answered e-mails, not phone calls, and seemed to have a serious aversion to good punctuation and grammar. For the last couple of months, we have been working with Jonathan. He returns calls and e-mails and has been spot on with his assistance.
We also have a second mortgage on this particular home. Representatives call me twice every day. Seven days a week. These representatives aren't very nice. In fact, one even told me if I would just stop drinking Starbucks I could afford to pay the mortgage. Oh... if only I could afford Starbucks right now.
Even with the idiot representatives at the second mortgage company, this has been a relatively smooth process. In fact, if this was the only time in my life I was going into foreclosure, I would say the process was streamlined and everyone (sans the snarky folks from India who work for the second mortgage company) was professional and polite.
By the way, our foreclosure sale is November 30, just in case you want a sweet little home nestled in the mountains with a lovely view and a pond.
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