Lies, Lies, Lies

I had a deadbeat living in my home in Pinson. They had been there since June, never paid a penny and cost me the GDP of a second-world country to have them removed. One of the main reasons I went to Birmingham last month was to check on this house and see what we were looking at for damage. Luigi knew this. Slick Willy knew this. It has been a going concern, and anyone in Birmingham with a pulse knows how stressful this particular saga has been.

Last weekend, I e-mailed Luigi and Slick Willy to ask what the status of this house happens to be. Willy wrotes me back, telling me he TOLD me weeks ago the tenant had left. Now, let's make this clear: If Willy had told me weeks ago, I would have remembered it. Even I am not that much of a flake. However, now that it is vacant, I didn't get into an e-mail pissing match with him, pointing this out. Instead, I said "thank you."

A couple of days later, figuring this was an obvious question, I asked Willy what kind of damages were we looking at. Willy, sent me back an e-mail, reminding me that Flunky the Maintenance Jerk had already given me numbers. For about 36 seconds, I thought I was loosing my mind. How did I miss this e-mail too? I mean, I am ready for vacation and everything, but I am pretty sure I would remember 1) this house coming vacant and 2) getting a quote for the damage.

On the 37th second, I came to my senses. I didn't forget. I wouldn't forget. And by the way, Hey Willy, why not give me these numbers again?

Frankly, I thought Willy's numbers were low. I saw the place last month. I knew what kind of condition the house is in. But, it was really nice and everything for him to comply so "quickly." What I didn't tell Willy is this house is going back to the bank. Unless the cost of fixing up the place is free or better, we don't have the repair money. Heck, we don't even have the mortgage money this month either.

But, before I can deal with the intricacies of loosing a home, I still have a few housekeeping issues to take care of. Which brings me to yesterday. Yesterday, I sent an innocent e-mail asking if the house had been secured and if the debris the tenants left behind (in this case, and I am not exaggerating, about 8 feet of trash bags stacked against the back of the house and floor to ceiling trash taking up half of the basement).

Now, let's face it. There is only one right answer for this question. And true to the incompetence Flunky and his friends have repeately diplayed, Flunky wrote me back, telling me he is getting--and I am not making this up either--"Vendor quotes."

And this is where I lost it. You see, that was not the right answer. And I was annoyed. If this place had truly been vacant for weeks, the way Willy had said so, why hasn't the place been secured? And why, when Willy had given me prices--that allegedgly Flunky had given me weeks ago (he didn't)--were we looking now for vendor quotes?

My response wasn't very nice. I asked why when I asked a simple yes or no question am I getting a big long answer? Either yes, it has been done or no it hasn't. And, what do "vendor quotes" have to do with putting a piece of plywood on a window. And while I was at it, I asked why I had to initiate these conversations. After all, isn't this what they do for a living? I mean, come on? Do they want the Department of Real Estate breathing down their backs because they are that incompetent? It isn't just because I do this for a living that I know damn well the house has to be secure. It is truly common sense.

My other issue was why are we getting more vendor quotes? We have quotes. Quotes Willy gave me earlier this week. Willy's response was to say he was going to "step back" and let me and Flunky work this out (It really is Flunky's job). I damn near called Willy an incompetent coward, but Marty asked me not to. After all, they still manage other properties of mine and I am loosing this house anyway so it doesn't matter what kind of quote I get?

As it stands, Flunky was going to have the trash removed the window secured by close of business yesterday. I don't believe it. Because if that was truly going to happen, someone over there would have to show more competency than they have already.