I'm Opening an Indoor Ice Rink

Mario's Minion, Bruce called Marty Sunshine this morning at 6 a.m. I would have relished in delight that it wasn't my phone that was lighting up, but I was zonked out, starting my fourth day of this flu hell and not much was going to make me relish in delight. Besides, Marty has a job and I would be a fool to think--flu or not--that I wasn't going to somehow get involved in this mess.

Bruce doesn't like to call me. Frankly, I don't think he knows how to take me. All of the labels that may have been bandied around about my personality were hopefully dispelled by Kirby, who voluntarily swore to me one day that he told all what an awesome a person and landlord I really am. At the time I didn't ask why my name came up, though right now I am pretty interested. But, I digress.

Bruce's issue on Friday was that the tenant in the one and only house Bruce and Mario manage managed to screw up again. This time a pipe burst. And, it flooded the downstairs, which is 97 percent of the house. And--as I found out when Bruce called me later and related the entire scenario to me once again--the house is uninhabitable.

Though I blame it on the illness, I shortly asked Bruce, how stupid is this tenant? Did she not think to open a pipe--knowing it was freezing and then would thaw? And come on! This wasn't the first time this particular tenant has done something utterly boneheaded (and through my drug-induced stupor, I rattled off a pretty darn accurate list). Did she live in an actual house before she rented this place? I really did expect an answer to that last question, given I have seen what as passed for "shelter" in swampy areas of the south. And I assure you if the tenant lived in one of those shelter-y things, they probably never dealt with running water.

After a couple of hours of this nonsense, I have spoken to two insurance folks, Bruce and relayed messages through him to a plumber, restoration company and tenant. I am told no less than 100 gallons of water has gone though that house today. I have visions of people donning ice skates zipping across the living room. Perhaps if Bruce charges enough for admission it will cover the deductible. Of course the insurance adjuster may not get around to going over there for a few days, given he is probably busy with other claims of similar nature. And now I have one more house to tour when I make my unscheduled trip out to there this spring.

According to my cyber pal Lori, no matter when things happen during the week, a tenant will wait until Friday to alert landlord. That pretty much sums it all up.