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I got a phone call on Tuesday from some lady named Ellen. She called about sixteen times in 20 minutes, I guess, figuring if I didn't answer the first fifteen times, perhaps it was time to finally leave a message.

And actually, I didn't answer the phone because I saw the caller was from Moody Alabama. I know precisely two people in Moody Alabama: Mr. Smith and Ms. Kathy. And, bless their hearts, I don't really feel like chatting with either of them.

Ellen's message was simply that Ms. Kathy had given me as a landlord reference and would I please call Ellen back with the scoop. I give Ms. Kathy props for nerve. After all, why not just ask a friend, or for that matter, a random stranger to vouch for her?

And, what exactly am I supposed to say? I kicked her out because she only paid on time twice in the entire three and a half years she rented from me? She is a victim of everyone else and takes zero responsibility for her life? She gets a social security check every month for four times the amount of her rent, but couldn't figure out how to give me what she was contractually obligated to pay?

You know, I once had someone use me as a job reference under similar circumstances. It was a political thing at the time, the person in question is a very good friend of the family. Not vouching for this person as a job reference would have caused future pain and heart ache. At the time, when asked, I said that the family friend was "innovative" and an "outside the box thinker". Which were both true, because I was the last person she logically should have picked for a reference.

In Ms. Kathy's case, it is also a bit political and, it is probably in my best interest for us to part friends. So, I waited until after hours and called Ellen back leaving a message. I said Ms. Kathy had rented from me for three and a half years. And, then I said how much the rent was every month. Then I made some sort of "I hope this answers all your questions. Thank you," noises and hung up. At no time in my voice mail did I say say, if she had any questions to call me back.

Hopefully Ellen doesn't call back and ask for more detail. Because I am not sure saying Ms. Kathy is innovative will sound like high praise for her rental history.