Securing a Loan Modification

There is nothing so humbling as doing a loan modification. The one I am working on is no exception.

Last July we contacted the bank, asked if there was something they would be willing to do for our situation. You see, we had a balloon payment due August 1 on a second mortgage. We were happy to continue paying on a regular basis, but we just didn't have the money in reserves at that time to pay a huge chunk. So, would they be willing to work with us.

Part of the initial process was to write a letter, explaining our circumstances. The bank responded in kind asking for substantial paperwork, akin to a small Bavarian forest.

And just to make life interesting, they communicated what they were looking for using their super-secure method that made me tear my hair out. The password had to be at least 10 characters, use capital letters, lower case letters, non-alpha numeric characters and a number. Not in that order.
 
My password was something like !3thisBiTez. Once I opened up the super-secure messages, I would have only a set amount of time to handle the task on hand. That would be great if I had the endless amounts of time available. But in July, you might remember, I went to two funerals, mourned three friends and worked one full-time job and another part-time job (along with rearing children and other such necessities). I also found out, if I let the e-mails sit until I had a moment or three to read them, they would still expire, leaving me to beg the very nice person at the bank and ask them to send those tasks again, via their super-secure methodology.

Just to be fair, I did ask them if we could act like reasonable people and bypass the super-secure method of communicating--and, I know I am going out on a limb here--talk via e-mail or phone. I was told no. But, that didn't stop me from being passive aggressive and ignoring their process.

By the way, in case it ever comes up, it is never a good idea to be passive aggressive and ignore the super-secure method of communicating when you are dealing with a bank who is offering to do a loan modification with you. I'm just saying...

A typical loan modification requires tax forms, w2s, a letter of explanation and a few ancillaries. A loan modification for an investment home requires all of the above and a few other ancillaries. A loan modification in an LLC, owned by four people requires all of the above, financial statements, bank statements (from every bank account we have) and several other documents. When I was done with the initial paperwork, I had 84 sheets of paper. And no, that is not an exaggeration. I counted.
 
In order to get the bank their paperwork, they required I play by their rules (see above mentioned passive-aggressive failure). Everything had to be scanned. I will not bore you with my scanner issues, only to say I am married to a computer geek who does all sorts of computery thingys in his job. I own a scanner. However, it hasn't worked since the last presidential administration.

"My" scanner has been my real estate office, which was just down the road. In July, my real estate office relocated 20 miles from my home. The UPS store across the street charges $1 a page to scan. I did find sympathy and a scanner to use in Diamond Jim's office. And at this point, I am there so often, I am shocked nobody in Diamond Jim's office is charging me rent.

The bank has been just great--that is, in a asking politely for me to give them more and more answers to questions I can't believe they thought of. However, every time I turn in one item, they ask for three others. Most recently, they asked for updated financial statements, requiring Bliz and Diamond Jim to both sign and return using their super-secure methodologies. They are also asking for explanations for things that happened two years ago. I don't remember two days ago, much less two years ago. But luckily I can BS with the best of them.

The ugly truth is, if they don't approve the second mortgage refinance, we are going to be in a world of hurt. And actually, so will the bank, because they also own the first mortgage on the property. It truly is in their best interest to grant a modification. If they don't they may just end up with a foreclosed property on their books--sent to them in a super-secure method.