An Analogy

There is this TV show that us in the Sunshine homestead watch with great anticipation and regularity. It is a cross between a game show and a cooking show.

In it, four professional chefs (or anyone who managed to pass the screen test for Food Network) have a set time to whip together four mystery ingredients into something palatable. The winner gets a cash prize. The ingredients are never anything like vanilla, eggs, milk and flour. Instead, they are given items such as squid ink, fava beans, buffalo tongue and kumquat juice and told they have 30 minutes to make an original meal.

Then there is the judging section. Three pretentious asses judges scrutinize each meal, saying things like, "I find your use of fried duck feet to be uninspiring," or "I was hoping there would be more crunch in your tomato puree," or (I hear this often) "I was sorely disappointed because your dessert was sweet."

The contestants, in turn respond in one of two ways. Those who have never watched a single episode of this show, are offended by the judges disregard for their culinary creation. Those who apparently have watched the show once or twice just smile politely as they are told by the alpha pretentious ass judge that his or her dish needed salt. Those who smile politely live to see another round and compete for the prize. Those who don't talk smack into the camera as they make the walk out the door, thus ending their participation in the show.

And just to let you know, getting a loan modification is a lot like this game show.