Bending Water

I will spare you all the details about how insufferable Mitch and Tanya's tenants happen to be. Except, for this tidbit.

Apparently Mike was unhappy the other day. You see the sprinklers in front of their townhome--on common ground, that is not owed by Mitch and Tanya--were going off "for a long time." Mike's solution as the dutiful tenant was to bitterly complain to their landlords, expecting them to single-handedly stop everything they are doing and force the sprinkler to stop. I guess.

Now please understand, there is grass outside. It needs to be watered. It is watered on a daily basis. But for some reason, this and only this sprinkler's timer apparently malfunctioned, though every other sprinkler on this watering system works just fine. A fluke of nature or a botched terrorism attempt perhaps? Either way, there seems to be some conspiracy against these tenants to make their lives a living hell.

Sadly, poor Tanya was stuck with the unfortunate task of having to discuss the entire Sprinkler Fiasco of 2016 Mike the Bombastic Jerk (that is his given Christian name I am sure). His complaint was water from the sprinkler is coming through into their garage and Mike, if he were to go near the water might--and I am not making this up--"get wet." Though, I have to tell you, I have no idea how this is even possible. In this case, you see, the sprinkler is at point Q. The garage is at point X. Unless there is some significant wind coming from the Southwest that can magically make water go around the side of a building, I am not sure how to even compute this as a reality. Never mind the fact that the garage door is closed, sealed and water has never in the past managed to rush into the garage when the sprinklers went off.

My true advice to Mitch and Tanya was to give him the number of the management company that handles the yard maintenance. Let the tenants deal with it and make themselves a nuisance to some naive administrative assistant who will answer Mike's phone calls. I also suggested to Mitch and Tanya they are at a point where everything from these yahoo tenants should come as written communication because Mike and Pam seem to be looking for a reason to break their lease.