Sadly, I Know How This Will End

I currently am the listing agent for five homes in the greater Phoenix metro area. All five sellers are very different. My favorite of the bunch just happens to have access to this blog, but that's not why she is favorite seller.

My sellers range from micro-managing quasi-neurotic to, "it will sell whenever it sells." The other three are mismatched in their somewhere. I have potential blogs galore about having homes for sale. And I have to tell you, this is a happy problem.

Today's seller, Mrs. "it will sell when it sells," story is brought to you by copious amounts of brown paper bags with my spent CO2 and words of sage advice that has been wasted and are now floating around in the ether. Essentially, she didn't listen to me and she will be furious when she finds out why her lovely home didn't sell.

I should quickly explain Mrs. IWSWIS, is a long time acquaintance. You might remember her son whose home I sold a while ago, whose tenants left a present for me behind... If you haven't read about them, it might be worth at least skimming the story. At least check out the picture. Anyway, Mrs. IWSWIS is a wonderful person who has, for the past two years, rented out her custom four bedroom, two bath home in Central Mesa while she is basking in the cool air in her Northern Arizona cabin.

Now that we are at the end of the lease, Mrs. IWSWIS is realizing if she holds on to this property for another year, she will have to pay capital gains taxes. Very true. When she decided it was time to sell, she sought me out, asked me for advice and then completely ignored what I said. My advice was: ask the tenants to leave, take care of a few minor maintenance issues and then list the home. It will sell in a week. But, whatever. She had other ideas.  First, she wants $20k more for the home than she can honestly expect in the condition it is in. That would be an easy fix if it wasn't for the second and more pressing issue.

The second and more pressing issue: There are tenants in place. But she is cool with that. After all, this way she gets monthly revenue (fair enough, I want revenue too). The tenants also have a lease that isn't up until the end of June, giving them significant rights to the home. But Mrs. IWSWIS is more than generous. She is willing to let the tenants stay indefinitely until the house sells. 

The tenants in question have six kids. The wife is a day sleeper and works nights. Arizona law, which these tenants are very familiar with, know that a two day notice is necessary before the home could be seen. But that doesn't mean the tenants have to be cooperative. Yes, they have to let the home be seen. However, the tenants don't have to clean prior to a showing. They don't have to stay silent and let the buyers just look around in peace ("Did you notice the crack in this tile, Mrs. Buyer? Just saying... there might be foundation issues..." There aren't foundation issues). And why would they when then they have themselves would have to move. Also, the tenants don't have to be polite ("I know you just got here, but now leave. We want to watch The Price is Right").

At first, Mr. Tenant was quite accommodating. "Yes, just give us any notice. We are happy to help out." After sixteen messages from me, they have switched to not replying to any phone calls, texts, certified letters or carrier pigeons. Therefore, the home isn't getting shown. And guess who will be blaming me for not selling her, "It will sell when it sells," home?