I am sad tonight. Diamond Jim called me earlier today. Yesterday he was flying from his home in Eastern Oregon to Phoenix to tackle another tax season. When he landed, he got the news: his bride of many, many years passed away. So, he immediately flew back to Portland, met up with his adult son who lives there and then they drove four hours back to his Eastern Oregon home. When I talked to him earlier, he was just about numb, not really having time to process all that goes with loosing a loved one.
I had known Mrs. Diamond Jim. She was his office manager for the first several years I visited his practice. She was smart and made me (and probably everyone else she met) feel at ease, as if we were long-lost friends. I liked her quick wit and loved her sense of humor.
As time went on, when Mr. and Mrs. Diamond Jim decided to "retire" they bought a home in some small, obscure town (which was Mrs. Diamond Jim's childhood hometown) to live out their golden years. A series of unfortunate events has kept Diamond Jim from officially retiring, with him choosing to spend the three coldest of the Eastern Oregon months here in sunny Mesa, filing taxes.
Anyway, Diamond Jim has been a regular on this blog. Some of you three readers have even had the exceptional opportunity to meet him. He is hurting tonight. I am saddened by his loss. The only thing I could offer my friend when I spoke was cliche'd platitudes and prayers. And he, being the gracious man he is, said thank you and asked me if I would call him again.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Friday, January 16, 2015
Slick Willy
Willy, my new contact at the property management company, has not been terrible. He hasn't been wonderful either. However, I knew I had heard his name before. And after a bit of research, I figured out where: he was my contact the last month I had Hysteria Lane in Mario's clutches. The sum-total of my communication with the guy when he worked for Mario was one e-mail (where he addressed me as "Hey",) and him telling me he would rent out my home as soon as he could. However, he only showed it to one person for the entire month.
The reason I remember him, is that Mario insisted Willy was my contact over there. Mario was actually unhappy I kept contacting Mario asking for information and not Willy because I couldn't get any information from Willy. And, when I forwarded Mario the one e-mail I had gotten from the guy, Mario back-pedaled.
Anyway, I told Willy I knew he worked for Mario--I figure he knew he worked for Mario and he must have known who I was prior to last week, so let's just address the ugly elephant in the room, shall, we? Willy, to his credit, was upfront. He said he hadn't been a good fit over there. He also said he was looking forward to better opportunities working for Luigi, including--and I am not making garbage up--working with "savvy investors" like myself.
Oh brother.
Frankly, the fact he ignored my home last July and his actions are ultimately what cost Mario my business isn't playing in his favor. But right now I am going to go with this because Luigi trusts him. But unfortunately, I don't.
The reason I remember him, is that Mario insisted Willy was my contact over there. Mario was actually unhappy I kept contacting Mario asking for information and not Willy because I couldn't get any information from Willy. And, when I forwarded Mario the one e-mail I had gotten from the guy, Mario back-pedaled.
Anyway, I told Willy I knew he worked for Mario--I figure he knew he worked for Mario and he must have known who I was prior to last week, so let's just address the ugly elephant in the room, shall, we? Willy, to his credit, was upfront. He said he hadn't been a good fit over there. He also said he was looking forward to better opportunities working for Luigi, including--and I am not making garbage up--working with "savvy investors" like myself.
Oh brother.
Frankly, the fact he ignored my home last July and his actions are ultimately what cost Mario my business isn't playing in his favor. But right now I am going to go with this because Luigi trusts him. But unfortunately, I don't.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Brother Of The Year
Dear Joe,
May I call you Joe? You don't know me, but I wrote you once before. If you would like me to refresh your memory, please feel free to go here. I'll wait. Take your time.
When we last conversed, you were living in a home owned by Mitch and Tonya, these awesome people who were your defacto landlords. You are the felonious brother of Lisa--Mitch and Tonya's true tenant--whom you were subletting from. I know you are aware of who Mitch and Tonya are. And if you weren't aware prior to last week, I am guessing about 11:16 last Monday you got a phone call from Lisa, after she left the court house, filling you in on her morning's adventures.
You see, last week, Lisa had to go to court. Mitch and Tonya sued her for damages in their home. In return, Lisa was a bit pissy because she thought it wasn't very nice that she hadn't gotten her security deposit returned and elected to counter-sue them for a few hundred dollars.
But the truth is, you weren't very nice to Mitch and Tonya's home. Not only did you let your daughter's turtle die in her aquarium, you also poured the aquarium gravel down the bathroom drain. And the plumbing is probably the least of Mitch and Tonya's issues.
During the court hearing, Tonya outlined their position very clearly: Lisa didn't leave the house in the same condition she received it. There were pictures to prove this. There were e-mails from Lisa saying she would honor the terms of the lease and Mitch and Tonya could count on her. There were even e-mails from Lisa, stating she would fix all of your damages and leave the house in tip-top shape when "she" vacated. Unfortunately she didn't check with you prior to this, to make sure you were both on the same page. It might have saved her a bit of money. And, there were also receipts presented to the judge showing the amount of work needed to bring the house back up to habitable condition--though in my estimation, Mitch and Tonya should have asked for more money.
Joe, when it came time for your dear sister to defend herself and explain how she was indeed the one wronged because she hadn't seen a lick of her security deposit returned to her, she forgot to do so. I sat in the hard bench seat, watching her give her entire defense, which consisted of about 17 minutes of her babbling different variations of "I am a single mother." I personally thought the teary eyes were a nice touch. And of course she concluded her soliloquy with an old standby used by victims everywhere: this whole legal proceeding just wasn't "fair."
As a last ditch effort to see that justice was served (and let's face it, nail her coffin shut), Lisa had hastily made a list of what she thought she might be responsible for (actually what she thought you were responsible for) and what she didn't think she should pay for. Lisa never got around to explaining to the judge exactly why she was expecting her deposit back. And that's too bad. I really wanted to hear her side of the story and see how she was going to go about it without admitting she had blatantly lied to Mitch and Tonya and sublet their home.
Eventually Joe, I was asked to speak to the judge. Although Tonya had eloquently covered all the main points, I was happy to re-iterate a few things I felt the judge hadn't completely grasped. For example the holes in the walls weren't just tiny nail holes. They were large enough for burrowing animals to have nested. And these holes are in every wall in every room.
And, Your Honor, please understand these three-to-five inches across holes were filled with some sort of chewing gum-type substance and painted over. Someone (and we just happen to believe it was you, Joe) took the time to make that mess. And someone (and we know it wasn't you, Joe) had to scoop that goop out, replace those pockets of drywall and repaint.
Then there was the damage to the garage ceiling. It wasn't just a "tiny spot" that Lisa could have possibly have neglected to miss--which is what she claimed to the judge during her tearful counter-suit. But, in fact, the damage spanned the entire length of the garage. And, it was obvious. And it was expensive to fix.
Joe, I have two brothers. I cannot image them screwing me over the way you did this to your sister. I won't say she didn't have it coming by lying to Mitch and Tonya and letting you live in their home, especially because she knew what kind of person you were prior to the time she signed the lease. But that said, I am saddened you live your life in a way, and Lisa lives her life in such a way that she had to spend her morning in front of a judge defending herself because of your actions.
Lisa now has other issues because of this racket too. First, Mitch and Tonya want their money. They will be garnishing your sister's wages. I am sure she will discuss this thoroughly with you for quite a long time.
Then there is the fact Lisa now has a judgement on her record. She better be very comfy where she is living now because these shenanigans have ultimately black-listed her from renting any time soon again. Landlords don't appreciate tenants who have harmed another landlord. What is she going to say to a prospective landlord by way of an explanation about this judgement? Because I am pretty sure the "I am a single mom" defense won't work any better in the future than it did last time she used it.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
May I call you Joe? You don't know me, but I wrote you once before. If you would like me to refresh your memory, please feel free to go here. I'll wait. Take your time.
When we last conversed, you were living in a home owned by Mitch and Tonya, these awesome people who were your defacto landlords. You are the felonious brother of Lisa--Mitch and Tonya's true tenant--whom you were subletting from. I know you are aware of who Mitch and Tonya are. And if you weren't aware prior to last week, I am guessing about 11:16 last Monday you got a phone call from Lisa, after she left the court house, filling you in on her morning's adventures.
You see, last week, Lisa had to go to court. Mitch and Tonya sued her for damages in their home. In return, Lisa was a bit pissy because she thought it wasn't very nice that she hadn't gotten her security deposit returned and elected to counter-sue them for a few hundred dollars.
But the truth is, you weren't very nice to Mitch and Tonya's home. Not only did you let your daughter's turtle die in her aquarium, you also poured the aquarium gravel down the bathroom drain. And the plumbing is probably the least of Mitch and Tonya's issues.
During the court hearing, Tonya outlined their position very clearly: Lisa didn't leave the house in the same condition she received it. There were pictures to prove this. There were e-mails from Lisa saying she would honor the terms of the lease and Mitch and Tonya could count on her. There were even e-mails from Lisa, stating she would fix all of your damages and leave the house in tip-top shape when "she" vacated. Unfortunately she didn't check with you prior to this, to make sure you were both on the same page. It might have saved her a bit of money. And, there were also receipts presented to the judge showing the amount of work needed to bring the house back up to habitable condition--though in my estimation, Mitch and Tonya should have asked for more money.
Joe, when it came time for your dear sister to defend herself and explain how she was indeed the one wronged because she hadn't seen a lick of her security deposit returned to her, she forgot to do so. I sat in the hard bench seat, watching her give her entire defense, which consisted of about 17 minutes of her babbling different variations of "I am a single mother." I personally thought the teary eyes were a nice touch. And of course she concluded her soliloquy with an old standby used by victims everywhere: this whole legal proceeding just wasn't "fair."
As a last ditch effort to see that justice was served (and let's face it, nail her coffin shut), Lisa had hastily made a list of what she thought she might be responsible for (actually what she thought you were responsible for) and what she didn't think she should pay for. Lisa never got around to explaining to the judge exactly why she was expecting her deposit back. And that's too bad. I really wanted to hear her side of the story and see how she was going to go about it without admitting she had blatantly lied to Mitch and Tonya and sublet their home.
Eventually Joe, I was asked to speak to the judge. Although Tonya had eloquently covered all the main points, I was happy to re-iterate a few things I felt the judge hadn't completely grasped. For example the holes in the walls weren't just tiny nail holes. They were large enough for burrowing animals to have nested. And these holes are in every wall in every room.
And, Your Honor, please understand these three-to-five inches across holes were filled with some sort of chewing gum-type substance and painted over. Someone (and we just happen to believe it was you, Joe) took the time to make that mess. And someone (and we know it wasn't you, Joe) had to scoop that goop out, replace those pockets of drywall and repaint.
Then there was the damage to the garage ceiling. It wasn't just a "tiny spot" that Lisa could have possibly have neglected to miss--which is what she claimed to the judge during her tearful counter-suit. But, in fact, the damage spanned the entire length of the garage. And, it was obvious. And it was expensive to fix.
Joe, I have two brothers. I cannot image them screwing me over the way you did this to your sister. I won't say she didn't have it coming by lying to Mitch and Tonya and letting you live in their home, especially because she knew what kind of person you were prior to the time she signed the lease. But that said, I am saddened you live your life in a way, and Lisa lives her life in such a way that she had to spend her morning in front of a judge defending herself because of your actions.
Lisa now has other issues because of this racket too. First, Mitch and Tonya want their money. They will be garnishing your sister's wages. I am sure she will discuss this thoroughly with you for quite a long time.
Then there is the fact Lisa now has a judgement on her record. She better be very comfy where she is living now because these shenanigans have ultimately black-listed her from renting any time soon again. Landlords don't appreciate tenants who have harmed another landlord. What is she going to say to a prospective landlord by way of an explanation about this judgement? Because I am pretty sure the "I am a single mom" defense won't work any better in the future than it did last time she used it.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Musings of a Crazed SECOND Mortgage Holder
Marty Sunshine called the mortgage company today. The same mortgage company which called a SECOND mortgage due on a home we are significantly upside down on. The same mortgage company which holds a SECOND mortgage on a vacant property. The same SECOND mortgage company that has been asking for a ridiculous amount of redundant paper and for the past several months has found creative ways to say "hold on, we will let you know if we have modified your loan... eventually."
Last week this mortgage company asked for financial profit and loss statements for the first week of January, 2015. However, they did not want our bank statements for December. This week they decided they do indeed want our bank statements for December. Please send them over as soon as possible. Thanks.
"What happens if they decide they aren't going to refinance this mortgage?" I asked Marty tonight. I have asked Marty various versions of this question for the past several months, with him giving me some sort of happy rendition of, "It will all work out." Ironically, Marty won't let me ask the mortgage company this question. Nor will he ask them either. So, I really don't know what will happen if they get sick of this stupid fetchquest game they are putting us through.
I have imagined all sorts of scenarios of what I would truly like to say to the bank. Unfortunately, every scenario seems to end with me facing a jury of my peers. My true peers of course, will be folks in a similar situation who managed to keep it together while they were randomly tortured by an impersonal entity whose sole purpose was to ruin rainforests and drive somewhat once-sane people crazy. Surely those peers will really understand.
Last week this mortgage company asked for financial profit and loss statements for the first week of January, 2015. However, they did not want our bank statements for December. This week they decided they do indeed want our bank statements for December. Please send them over as soon as possible. Thanks.
"What happens if they decide they aren't going to refinance this mortgage?" I asked Marty tonight. I have asked Marty various versions of this question for the past several months, with him giving me some sort of happy rendition of, "It will all work out." Ironically, Marty won't let me ask the mortgage company this question. Nor will he ask them either. So, I really don't know what will happen if they get sick of this stupid fetchquest game they are putting us through.
I have imagined all sorts of scenarios of what I would truly like to say to the bank. Unfortunately, every scenario seems to end with me facing a jury of my peers. My true peers of course, will be folks in a similar situation who managed to keep it together while they were randomly tortured by an impersonal entity whose sole purpose was to ruin rainforests and drive somewhat once-sane people crazy. Surely those peers will really understand.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
I Am Pretty Sure He Only Listened When I Said I Am Buying Airfare
Luigi has passed me over to a new property manager dude at his office. And, because I am out of Mario the video game references (Mario, Luigi, Kirby and Daisy for those of you keeping track), we will just call this guy Slick Willy--or Willy for short.
Last week Willy and I played phone and e-mail tag, with him leaving me a message. Me returning it, giving him a reasonable range of when he could call to reach me and Willy ultimately ignoring my time frame and trying again when I was my most busy. Lather, rinse repeat.
Finally on Thursday we connected, with him beginning to tell me about what he felt needed to be "done" with my homes. I guess nobody over there warned him that I wasn't the average pushover, because he seemed a bit taken back when I corrected him and told him what I felt needed to be done with my homes.
First on my list is get my vacant one rented. Then find out why my tenant in Chalkville is moving next month and what can be done to keep her. Then update me on the eviction and destroyed home over there (I haven't written about that drama. Just not up to it right now). And then, when those meager tasks are complete, sell my home in Leeds. And, if possible, could you please give me comps on a couple of others. No hurry on the comps. I am just curious and would like someone else's opinion. What I didn't say was I wanted someone else's qualified opinion. But maybe I should have elaborated. My mistake.
Before hanging up, Willy shot through a good sixteen platitudes in about four minutes flat, promised me I would see all of the above and plenty more in my e-mail before close of business on Friday and wished me well. He may have sealed it with some sort of additional "you can count on me" speech. But I can't be sure.
I hung up our call with trepidation and fear, figuring that would be the last I would hear from Willy for a good three weeks. But, he didn't disappoint. He sent me all I asked for first thing Tuesday morning. Of course, unbeknown to him, I wasn't really available Tuesday morning. I was busy with 12 kids at a homeless shelter and didn't really get around to reading his e-mail until after noon some time.
Additionally, I hadn't exactly absorbed his e-mail when he called me an hour later with his version of great news. He had a buyer for my home in Moody. Yep. He found an investor who would buy it for $60k. He expected the contract any minute. Wasn't he just the best guy ever?
Maybe Willy is the best guy ever. Maybe he isn't. I do know nowhere did I say I wanted to give a home away for $60k. And yes, of course he could give me an offer on any of my homes at that price because it is worth significantly more than that.
When I started to explain to Willy I wasn't interested in selling the home in Moody for such a low price and I knew the house was worth more, he stopped me, giving me the same speech I share with those who think Zillow is a National treasure. Except I didn't use Zillow to find my comps. As a licensed agent, I have other tools at my disposal to run comps--even in other markets--which are more accurate than Zillow. Actually my cat could give more accurate comps than Zillow, but my true opinions of Zillow can wait until another blog.
Willy, who was expecting adulation and Heavenly praise for finding a buyer so fast for a home that wasn't in Leeds (and I didn't want to sell), took my reproach well. I did explain it wasn't my intention to professionally embarrass him by allowing him to find someone to bring me a low-ball offer (though I didn't "allow", but thought this might just ease the tension). I wanted a fair price for my homes. I don't want to give them away. Willy stammered though his explanation for way too long and I dropped it. I did suggest he could offer the same investor the home on Leeds, because that is the one I want sold. Just in case he missed that part of our conversation last week.
Willy didn't really have much else to say about my properties until I threw this bomb at him: I intend to fly out as soon as my eviction home is vacant. After a week of knowing this guy, I am thinking he would be much happier and would prefer I stayed right here.
Last week Willy and I played phone and e-mail tag, with him leaving me a message. Me returning it, giving him a reasonable range of when he could call to reach me and Willy ultimately ignoring my time frame and trying again when I was my most busy. Lather, rinse repeat.
Finally on Thursday we connected, with him beginning to tell me about what he felt needed to be "done" with my homes. I guess nobody over there warned him that I wasn't the average pushover, because he seemed a bit taken back when I corrected him and told him what I felt needed to be done with my homes.
First on my list is get my vacant one rented. Then find out why my tenant in Chalkville is moving next month and what can be done to keep her. Then update me on the eviction and destroyed home over there (I haven't written about that drama. Just not up to it right now). And then, when those meager tasks are complete, sell my home in Leeds. And, if possible, could you please give me comps on a couple of others. No hurry on the comps. I am just curious and would like someone else's opinion. What I didn't say was I wanted someone else's qualified opinion. But maybe I should have elaborated. My mistake.
Before hanging up, Willy shot through a good sixteen platitudes in about four minutes flat, promised me I would see all of the above and plenty more in my e-mail before close of business on Friday and wished me well. He may have sealed it with some sort of additional "you can count on me" speech. But I can't be sure.
I hung up our call with trepidation and fear, figuring that would be the last I would hear from Willy for a good three weeks. But, he didn't disappoint. He sent me all I asked for first thing Tuesday morning. Of course, unbeknown to him, I wasn't really available Tuesday morning. I was busy with 12 kids at a homeless shelter and didn't really get around to reading his e-mail until after noon some time.
Additionally, I hadn't exactly absorbed his e-mail when he called me an hour later with his version of great news. He had a buyer for my home in Moody. Yep. He found an investor who would buy it for $60k. He expected the contract any minute. Wasn't he just the best guy ever?
Maybe Willy is the best guy ever. Maybe he isn't. I do know nowhere did I say I wanted to give a home away for $60k. And yes, of course he could give me an offer on any of my homes at that price because it is worth significantly more than that.
When I started to explain to Willy I wasn't interested in selling the home in Moody for such a low price and I knew the house was worth more, he stopped me, giving me the same speech I share with those who think Zillow is a National treasure. Except I didn't use Zillow to find my comps. As a licensed agent, I have other tools at my disposal to run comps--even in other markets--which are more accurate than Zillow. Actually my cat could give more accurate comps than Zillow, but my true opinions of Zillow can wait until another blog.
Willy, who was expecting adulation and Heavenly praise for finding a buyer so fast for a home that wasn't in Leeds (and I didn't want to sell), took my reproach well. I did explain it wasn't my intention to professionally embarrass him by allowing him to find someone to bring me a low-ball offer (though I didn't "allow", but thought this might just ease the tension). I wanted a fair price for my homes. I don't want to give them away. Willy stammered though his explanation for way too long and I dropped it. I did suggest he could offer the same investor the home on Leeds, because that is the one I want sold. Just in case he missed that part of our conversation last week.
Willy didn't really have much else to say about my properties until I threw this bomb at him: I intend to fly out as soon as my eviction home is vacant. After a week of knowing this guy, I am thinking he would be much happier and would prefer I stayed right here.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Vacant
My Section 8 tenant moved out last week. She left the home in reasonable shape, though I am wondering what is wrong with the garage door and why she re-keyed the front door. It isn't wonderful, but not trashed either.
My new contact at Luigi's office tells me I can get about $150 more a month for this house--which is about what I was getting prior to the days it was a Section 8 house. Hopefully it will be rented soon.
My new contact at Luigi's office tells me I can get about $150 more a month for this house--which is about what I was getting prior to the days it was a Section 8 house. Hopefully it will be rented soon.
Nope, Not Done
Two weeks ago--in December, the bank asked for new financial statements, up to and including December 30, 2014. Last week they asked for new financial statements up to and including January 9, 2015. It appears the only one who is working on this damn file is Bliz--who keeps taking up her weekend to give me new financial documents.
Last week when the bank once again asked for updated financial documents they did not ask for updated bank statements. So, I didn't send them. However, I am guessing they will ask for them some time this week. Oddly enough, the bank gets pissy when I send over unsolicited paper--like bank statements--that I know they will ask for in a day or so. How dare I second-guess them?
In other news, the other loan this particular mortgage company opted to modify without our knowledge went though. The payment is actually $30 more a month. Yay us. Now if they would just finish this first one.
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