In a Dark Space

I have been told (repeatedly) this blog is amusing. That's great actually. I want you to be amused. Laughter and learning should go hand in hand.

I personally want to read back years from now and have a chuckle at my own expense--just to see how far things have come. In fact, sometimes in dark moments like these, I do go back into the annals of this journal just to see how I handled something or to realize just how much more experience I have now. Once in a while I even run across a former tenant (or three) I had completely forgotten about. And then I remember why I had erased them from my memory.

I have not felt amused lately. I have been angry. Embittered.

I am angry I have to work so hard to keep these stupid rental homes operating when tenants do things like not pay their rent for two months. And worse, they don't care that they aren't paying. I am furious that I can't buy tires for my car because I don't know how I am going to come up with the mortgage money for three (yes, three) vacancies. Actually, technically just two. I have a deadbeat as well who is allegedly moving "sometime in June". And, I am beyond pissed at Mr. Partner's insinuation that I spend money "frivolously" (his word) on such things as air conditioner maintenance--because the compressor went out.

Incidentally, Mr. Partner has some random solution to our undercapitalized issues (undercapitalized issues which he is blaming me for because I am making frivolous repairs--like Ms. Angie, who needs a front door for her 40 year old home, and can only leave her home right now through the basement--those kind of repairs). His marvelous plan makes quantitative easing (the printing of more money so there is a greater supply--which,  by the way, didn't work out so hot for the Germans in the 1920s) sound like a genius idea.

I have a few other solutions of my own and I rant about them daily to Marty and Bliz, as I have been getting to the office sometimes as late as 8 a.m. and getting home about 12 hours later. I am only paid when and if a home closes, which doesn't happen every Friday. And by the way, I also need tires for my car--did I mention that? And Buckaroo just outgrew every stitch of clothing he owns in a  two week time period. By the way, my solutions include, but aren't limited to, letting the whole thing go and/or selling it all and getting on with my life. Let's consider this a life's lesson and move on, shall we?

But nobody is listening to me.

In all fairness, my funk may be related partially to the clueless person who recently told me I was "greedy" for working so much. 

It isn't that the Alabama bills aren't getting paid. Because they are. But I am not buying tires for my car either. And Buckaroo still needs clothes. I would probably feel better if the house in Pinson was rented (but it isn't and that damn neighbor won't shut up) or the home in Alabaster was rented or the nutcase in Grayson Valley just paid up or moved out like they were supposed to. In all fairness, Luigi has been doing his level best to get the home in Pinson rented. And I did turn down one high-maintenance potential tenant who didn't sound very promising from the get-go.

So, please forgive me if this isn't an amusing blog tonight. I am tired, slightly depressed and the closer it comes to the end of the month when mortgages are due, the more prone I am to hysterics. I desperately want one day off to hang out with my kids and do laundry. Right now I don't see that one free day in my immediate future. I don't feel sorry for me. I signed up for this. I just don't see a way out right now.