$44.29 Billion*

Ms. Kathy lives in a cute little house--more like a cottage--in a cute little community called Moody, in the outskirts of Birmingham. Though abutted to Leeds Alabama, for whatever reason, people flock to Moody as a bedroom community (or, they are running from Leeds, take your pick).  Ms. Kathy is no exception. She was raised in the neighborhood. She actually knew most of the neighbors long before she moved in, having grown up with the children of the long-time residents.

On Friday Ms. Kathy, in an utter tizzy, sent me four texts in 14 seconds. You see, in conjunction with all the weird electric issues she was having last week, she also had a representative from the local power company coincidentally show up on her doorstep and politely asked to check the meter.

Ms. Kathy, made sure he said he was who he said was, but still walked with him around the home to the meter. The Power Company Guy then pulled off the meter only to find something melted on the inside and a humongous glob of fused wires and stuck thingamabobbers. I wasn't there, but from what I understand Ms. Kathy--who is a bit electric phobic--almost fainted on the spot.

According to Ms. Kathy, the power company guy told Ms. Kathy to "stick it to the landlord" and make me pay for all of the damage. She then dutifully reported that she would do no such thing. And Power Company Guy offered to fix whatever was melted and horrible for free.

"Was this just random?" I asked. "Did he just show up on your door, or did he do this to every home in the neighborhood?" Ms. Kathy wasn't quite sure. But, she said the Power Company Guy said this should help her electric bills. Then, Ms. Kathy dropped this bombshell on me: Her monthly electric bills are consistently equivalent to the gross domestic product of Tunisia. 

I live in Arizona. I have two air conditioners on my home. I know what pricey electric bills can look like. Ms. Kathy's home is cozy--that's a buzz word for small. She has a living room, kitchen, three bedrooms and a bathroom. There is no reason her electric bills should be higher than mine.

I used to work for the local electric company. At the time I worked there, when someone had consistently high bills--especially living in a cozy cottage like Ms. Kathy's--certain assumptions were sometimes reached. Like was the house in question a grow house? Is it possible someone at the Moody Power Company reached similar conclusions?

So, I said without thinking, "Why so high? Do you have a grow house or something?"

Ms. Kathy had no idea what a grow house was. So then I had to explain it. Which sent Ms. Kathy into another tizzy. And then I apologized. And for the record, I never, ever thought she had a grow house. Honest.

But I do want to know what prompted the Power Company Guy to show up on her door. And I really want to know why her electric bills are super-high. That needs to be remedied. And I really want to know why some gizmo melted on her meter.

*Estimated for 2010--According to the CIA World Factbook