Behind the Scenes

When people pay late, I often wonder about the conversations that happen around paying their bills. And, I wonder how they come to the decisions the come to when it comes to paying their bills. Do they sit around counting their dollars, and just figure they have enough for the water, electric, food, etc. and figure they should pay those instead? Do they save their pennies or cross their fingers until the next paycheck comes in and then send their payment in, hoping I won't notice? Or, do they not care?

I am no stranger to financial strain. My financial strain is different now. But, I have had in my life occasions where we were barley making it. There were times we were at the end of our rope. We traded some of our nice wedding gifts, for child care, so I could work. I remember balancing our need for groceries versus our need for diapers. And, I remember being relieved that I did, indeed, have enough to cover the diapers (and that was after scraping the bottom of the purse, looking inbetween the couch cushions and under the seats in our 13 year old Subaru)--barring no minor emergencies. My husband and I have had our share. But, we have always managed to keep the roof over our head a priority.

I don't feel a judgement about the people in my program. Whatever reason they got into the situation they are in, they are there. Money troubles doesn't make someone bad. They are by no means their credit score. Just like someone with a 790 FICO can still be obnoxious.

What I often think about is the stress in the families where there is money troubles. I think about the frightening prospect of having to loose thier home. A home is a security blanket. One tenant told me, "a man isn't a man, unless he is providing for his family." To loose that stability has to be emotionally debilitating. And, even if I don't particularly like the tenant, I still want them to succeed. It looks to me as a vicious cycle. "If cannot pay for a home for my family, I fail." That can't be good for the family dynamic.