So after several maddening e-mails with Flunky the Maintenance Asshat today I finally told him that I pay the property management company to handle these kinds of things . And as soon as he has done his job to find out what is really going on, he can let me know so that I can make an informed decision about what to do about the hot water heater.
Five minutes later Flunky wrote me back and said "I just want to know if you want to call a plumber or should I?"
Frankly, I don't know if I need a plumber. For all I know the tenant is whining about nothing and wants to get out of her lease (that happens. Often.). Of course, if a plumber is needed he should call. That's why he is the Maintenance Guy.
Also, I had already covered that particular topic in other exchanges with him today. He has yet to tell me what "not hot enough water" happens to be. Instead of replying, I did what any sensible wife would do. I forwarded the e-mail to Marty Sunshine and said, "You deal with this and make sure he doesn't contact me about this again."
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Close, But Not Close Enough
I just got a work order from Flunky the Maintenance Asshat. As usual he has usurped my repeated requests for him to work directly with Marty Sunshine. At this point I am convinced he only writes to me because because he has it out for me.
That's ok. I have it out for him too.
Apparently one of my tenants is in crisis. The work order said the tenant has hot water, but it isn't "hot enough". Flunky asked me what I wanted him to do about it.
I don't know, perhaps ask for a clarification to what "not hot enough" happens to mean? How long is this tenant running the hot water? How hot does she want the water? You know, so basics so that I can make an informed decision.
As politely as I could muster, I responded to Flunky by asking for clarification. I am guessing now this will turn into a complete pain in the neck that will make me crazy by Friday.
That's ok. I have it out for him too.
Apparently one of my tenants is in crisis. The work order said the tenant has hot water, but it isn't "hot enough". Flunky asked me what I wanted him to do about it.
I don't know, perhaps ask for a clarification to what "not hot enough" happens to mean? How long is this tenant running the hot water? How hot does she want the water? You know, so basics so that I can make an informed decision.
As politely as I could muster, I responded to Flunky by asking for clarification. I am guessing now this will turn into a complete pain in the neck that will make me crazy by Friday.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Back at Square One
Now then, where did we leave off with the house in North Centerpoint?
You remember this drama don't you? This is the home where the mortgage was called due a year ago for some reason unbeknownst to us. In addition, the Bigoted Asset Manager's committee rejected all reasonable short sale offers--unless we agree to give them $36,000 more than we actually owe on the mortgage. After we agreed to disagree on this matter, the Bigoted Asset Manager then went back to the "committee" and asked if the bank would agree to a deed in lieu of foreclosure. Apparently this "committee" meets regularly, because not two days later the committee said no to this request too.
Actually, the day we got the rejection letter we also received another letter from the same mortgage company. The second letter was a demand for the full amount of the mortgage. The same mortgage they called due last year, and had they not, we could have been paying all along and never been in this situation. The mortgage company rejected our short sales. They have now rejected our request for a deed in lieu. But they want their money. Good luck with that. We don't have it.
I spoke to Legalowl right after I got the letter from the bank. She said to do nothing. She did suggest we keep the insurance and taxes up on the property. "It makes for a smoother transition." Whatever that means. This has been nothing but smooth. I also suspect if we don't pay the impounds the bank might move faster. But who knows.
Eventually someone at the bank is going to want this deadwood off their books. But until then, we will just let it sit there.
Monday, September 21, 2015
I Figure He Is Still Reading
So this past weekend Luigi contacted me and asked if I had any concerns about Flunky the Asshat Maintenance Manager. I have no idea what prompted his question or why he decided to ask little old me, but he did.
And, it just so happens I do have concerns. Lots of them. And I shared the ones I remembered off the top of my head with Luigi. If I had given myself some time, I would have come up with several more. I toyed with sending a "chapter 2" to Luigi or sending him copies of the crappy e-mails Flunky has sent me in the past year, but I didn't want to sound vindictive. I am guessing long about paragraph 10 of my dissertation Luigi was a bit sorry he brought this up.
In all fairness, I kept my comments neutral and factual. I left out the drama--except when Flunky contacted me at 5:21 a.m. and then told me it wasn't "urgent." Yea... I am still pissy about that.
And finally, I told Luigi I have left property management behind, and yet every call/text/e-mail from Flunky means I have to spend at the very minimum four hours of my time making sure I have the right person around to do the work because Flunky is short on customer service and feels entitled to spend my money any darn way he wants. If I wanted to spend four hours of my life fact-checking Flunky I could just manage my own properties and save myself a few dollars.
I did tell Luigi I very strongly feel there are probably many other owners who feel the same way I do. I also (rhetorically) questioned how many owners may have left this particular property management company just to be rid of Flunky. I summed up my thoughts by suggesting Flunky is harming Luigi's reputation as well as Luigi's company's reputation. Reputations are easy to destroy and hard to build.
Incidentally, I still haven't heard back from Luigi. That's fine. I have said my piece.
And, it just so happens I do have concerns. Lots of them. And I shared the ones I remembered off the top of my head with Luigi. If I had given myself some time, I would have come up with several more. I toyed with sending a "chapter 2" to Luigi or sending him copies of the crappy e-mails Flunky has sent me in the past year, but I didn't want to sound vindictive. I am guessing long about paragraph 10 of my dissertation Luigi was a bit sorry he brought this up.
In all fairness, I kept my comments neutral and factual. I left out the drama--except when Flunky contacted me at 5:21 a.m. and then told me it wasn't "urgent." Yea... I am still pissy about that.
And finally, I told Luigi I have left property management behind, and yet every call/text/e-mail from Flunky means I have to spend at the very minimum four hours of my time making sure I have the right person around to do the work because Flunky is short on customer service and feels entitled to spend my money any darn way he wants. If I wanted to spend four hours of my life fact-checking Flunky I could just manage my own properties and save myself a few dollars.
Incidentally, I still haven't heard back from Luigi. That's fine. I have said my piece.
Saturday, September 05, 2015
And Just To Be Sure
Right after I wrote the Bigoted Asset Manager, I forwarded Pam the Supervisor the same e-mail. Underneath it I attached several items of my ignored correspondence from the guy. Here's hoping this process moves a little faster from this point forward.
Friday, September 04, 2015
Bless His Bigoted, Cold, Rotten Heart
Our house in North Birmingham where we were trying to get a short sale got interesting. Since April, I had been talking to the Bigoted Asset Manager who had encouraged me to do a short sale. In fact, he blatantly discouraged me to let the house go into foreclosure.
When we first spoke in April, he suggested that the "committee" (???) would never "believe" Marty and I "needed a short sale" under the "circumstances". He said he was looking at our credit scores at that very moment and it would be a "hard sell" and didn't I just want to pay what I owe?
At the time, thinking I was working with a professional, I explained that the second mortgage had been called due--by his company and without any conceivable reason--starting this train wreck, the tenant had moved out and we were no longer in a position to take care of this house. The Bigoted Asset Manager made tut-tut noises and sent me on my way.
Four months later, Kirby submitted a total of four cash offers for our home to this bank. I had been speaking to the Bigoted Asset Manager all along. At one point, he sent me an e-mail offering me unreasonable terms to settle this account. We said no. Foreclose. The bigoted Asset Manager backed down, saying he would see what he could do.
What he did do was send me a lovely letter, via US Postal Service saying the "committee" rejected my short sale. What he also did was ignore my e-mails and phone calls for the following weeks.
Sick of the entire process, I sicced Marty on this. Last week Marty called around to this bank trying to find the person to talk to so that we could start the deed in lieu of foreclosure process. He left voicemail after voicemail. Finally someone named "Pam" called him back. Apparently Pam is a supervisor. She listened carefully as Marty relayed our story (we tried the short sale route and you folks rejected the offers we got.). Pam was none-too-happy we had jumped through so many hoops and promised to have someone call by the end of the day.
And someone did call. It was the Bigoted Asset Manager. On the phone with Marty, he was polite, reasonable and back-pedaled. It was clear that he and Pam had a terse conversation prior to him calling our home. Apparently at that particular moment he was more than willing to help us in any way.
However, when I found out Marty was on the phone with the guy, I was furious. He would return Marty's call, but not mine. I said loudly, "Is that the same Bigoted Asset Manager who refused to return my calls and e-mails for the past month but yet will call you back at the drop of a hat?"
At which point, Marty shot up a hand and gave me a look, begging me not to pick up the home extension and continue my tirade at the guy. Apparently the Bigoted Asset Manager heard me because Marty relayed the following message from him, "Thank you for being so professional Mrs. Landlord through the entire short sale process." And that just annoyed me further.
As it stands now, I believe the Bigoted Asset Manager is supposed to go back to the alleged "committee" and ask for guidance. We explained that we no longer had buyers for the house, so we would have to start over with another short sale--that is if Kirby is willing to do this again. After all, nobody likes working for free.
And just to be sure we are all on the same page, I e-mailed the jerk the following note:
When we first spoke in April, he suggested that the "committee" (???) would never "believe" Marty and I "needed a short sale" under the "circumstances". He said he was looking at our credit scores at that very moment and it would be a "hard sell" and didn't I just want to pay what I owe?
At the time, thinking I was working with a professional, I explained that the second mortgage had been called due--by his company and without any conceivable reason--starting this train wreck, the tenant had moved out and we were no longer in a position to take care of this house. The Bigoted Asset Manager made tut-tut noises and sent me on my way.
Four months later, Kirby submitted a total of four cash offers for our home to this bank. I had been speaking to the Bigoted Asset Manager all along. At one point, he sent me an e-mail offering me unreasonable terms to settle this account. We said no. Foreclose. The bigoted Asset Manager backed down, saying he would see what he could do.
What he did do was send me a lovely letter, via US Postal Service saying the "committee" rejected my short sale. What he also did was ignore my e-mails and phone calls for the following weeks.
Sick of the entire process, I sicced Marty on this. Last week Marty called around to this bank trying to find the person to talk to so that we could start the deed in lieu of foreclosure process. He left voicemail after voicemail. Finally someone named "Pam" called him back. Apparently Pam is a supervisor. She listened carefully as Marty relayed our story (we tried the short sale route and you folks rejected the offers we got.). Pam was none-too-happy we had jumped through so many hoops and promised to have someone call by the end of the day.
And someone did call. It was the Bigoted Asset Manager. On the phone with Marty, he was polite, reasonable and back-pedaled. It was clear that he and Pam had a terse conversation prior to him calling our home. Apparently at that particular moment he was more than willing to help us in any way.
However, when I found out Marty was on the phone with the guy, I was furious. He would return Marty's call, but not mine. I said loudly, "Is that the same Bigoted Asset Manager who refused to return my calls and e-mails for the past month but yet will call you back at the drop of a hat?"
At which point, Marty shot up a hand and gave me a look, begging me not to pick up the home extension and continue my tirade at the guy. Apparently the Bigoted Asset Manager heard me because Marty relayed the following message from him, "Thank you for being so professional Mrs. Landlord through the entire short sale process." And that just annoyed me further.
As it stands now, I believe the Bigoted Asset Manager is supposed to go back to the alleged "committee" and ask for guidance. We explained that we no longer had buyers for the house, so we would have to start over with another short sale--that is if Kirby is willing to do this again. After all, nobody likes working for free.
And just to be sure we are all on the same page, I e-mailed the jerk the following note:
Dear Bigoted Asset Manager,
Thank you for taking time to speak to my husband about our situation earlier this week. As he has a full time job, he still would like me to be the point of contact for this issue.
Would you please let me know what the next steps happen to be so that we can turn this home back over to the Bank. As your committee has rejected the four cash offers we brought you, it seems reasonable to expect a deed in lieu of foreclosure or a judicial foreclosure. We are more than willing to accommodate and save your company the trouble of a judicial foreclosure. So, if a deed in lieu works for you, that would be great with us.
Currently the home is vacant and probably vulnerable to vandalism and vagrancy, so moving forward and quickly as possible is probably in everyone's best interest.
Please advise soon.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
I know it is more wordy than "Bless your heart" but I sure hope it conveys the same sentiment.
Thursday, September 03, 2015
Mr. 114 to the Rescue
It is obvious that neither Flunky nor Marty are going to take care of the issue for the house in Fultondale. I am rather annoyed, but that is for another blog. The main issue is that the home is situated downhill and that happens to be the direction water flows when it rains.
Even in the South.
Because water flows downhill, it appears (according to the tenant who is squawking about this matter) it is somehow coming into the home. At one time I had the house sealed and drains put in to resolve this matter. The person who did it was Mr. 114, someone I know, trust and believe in. I don't trust or believe in Flunky the Maintenance Asshat who is in charge of finding someone to re-fix this issue.
Now before you suggest the obvious: why doesn't Mr. 114 go out there and fix the issue? After all, he did it once before and the problem has come back. There are two reasons. One, the scope of work he did last time did not include this area where water is coming in now. Think of it like this: if a roof has a leak, and it is patched it can still leak somewhere else at a later date. In this case, when Mr. 114 fixed the first water drainage issue, he shored up other potential areas of concern. But he didn't have a crystal ball on what would happen seven years in the future. If a tenant happens to plant or move earth or doesn't clean out the french drains on the property, water can be diverted and go somewhere else.
As I am not there and only hearing this second-hand, I don't know if the tenant has caused this or if there is an erosion issue. Right now, because Flunky is useless and won't tell me where the water is coming in ("I don't know but I will ask the contractor.") Mr. 114--who does this kind of thing for a living and is familiar with this house--is of the mind that the water may be coming in from under the porch, a place that was shored up at one time, but if the tenant moved things around it could be an issue now.
The other reason Mr. 114 doesn't want the job is because he lives 60 miles from this house. However, he has been a wealth of knowledge. And for that, I am grateful.
To speed things along, I recently asked Flunky for a new quote for this work. The first quote was more than I felt was reasonable. Instead of actually, you know, finding another quote, Flunky quickly told me "that is the best he can do."
As this issue was starting to get out of hand, I called Mr. 114. I asked him what he thought of my quote. And, Mr. 114 even called Flunky on my behalf to discuss this quote. When Mr. 114 called me, he didn't mince words. He said, "I don't' trust him and your quote is crap." That's what I was thinking too.
Apparently, Flunky's quote calls for only 8 feet of drain to be installed (for $2000????). The house is longer than 8 feet. So, installing culverts and drains for 8 feet will only divert the water so far before it pools up, causing more damage. There are other issues with the quote too. According to Mr. 114 the scope of the work I am being asked to pay for will do nothing to resolve the issue and only make things worse. And according to Mr. 114 he told Flunky to get another quote.
When I spoke with Mr. 114 yesterday, he told me not to proceed (no problem there, I don't have that kind of cash right now). He said wait for the new quote and immediately send it to him prior to agreeing to anything.
I am good with that.
Even in the South.
Because water flows downhill, it appears (according to the tenant who is squawking about this matter) it is somehow coming into the home. At one time I had the house sealed and drains put in to resolve this matter. The person who did it was Mr. 114, someone I know, trust and believe in. I don't trust or believe in Flunky the Maintenance Asshat who is in charge of finding someone to re-fix this issue.
Now before you suggest the obvious: why doesn't Mr. 114 go out there and fix the issue? After all, he did it once before and the problem has come back. There are two reasons. One, the scope of work he did last time did not include this area where water is coming in now. Think of it like this: if a roof has a leak, and it is patched it can still leak somewhere else at a later date. In this case, when Mr. 114 fixed the first water drainage issue, he shored up other potential areas of concern. But he didn't have a crystal ball on what would happen seven years in the future. If a tenant happens to plant or move earth or doesn't clean out the french drains on the property, water can be diverted and go somewhere else.
As I am not there and only hearing this second-hand, I don't know if the tenant has caused this or if there is an erosion issue. Right now, because Flunky is useless and won't tell me where the water is coming in ("I don't know but I will ask the contractor.") Mr. 114--who does this kind of thing for a living and is familiar with this house--is of the mind that the water may be coming in from under the porch, a place that was shored up at one time, but if the tenant moved things around it could be an issue now.
The other reason Mr. 114 doesn't want the job is because he lives 60 miles from this house. However, he has been a wealth of knowledge. And for that, I am grateful.
To speed things along, I recently asked Flunky for a new quote for this work. The first quote was more than I felt was reasonable. Instead of actually, you know, finding another quote, Flunky quickly told me "that is the best he can do."
As this issue was starting to get out of hand, I called Mr. 114. I asked him what he thought of my quote. And, Mr. 114 even called Flunky on my behalf to discuss this quote. When Mr. 114 called me, he didn't mince words. He said, "I don't' trust him and your quote is crap." That's what I was thinking too.
Apparently, Flunky's quote calls for only 8 feet of drain to be installed (for $2000????). The house is longer than 8 feet. So, installing culverts and drains for 8 feet will only divert the water so far before it pools up, causing more damage. There are other issues with the quote too. According to Mr. 114 the scope of the work I am being asked to pay for will do nothing to resolve the issue and only make things worse. And according to Mr. 114 he told Flunky to get another quote.
When I spoke with Mr. 114 yesterday, he told me not to proceed (no problem there, I don't have that kind of cash right now). He said wait for the new quote and immediately send it to him prior to agreeing to anything.
I am good with that.
A Third One on the Brink
One of our homes needs some maintenance. For the past two months, I have asked Marty Sunshine to work with Asshat the Maintenance Flunky in getting this done. There are a few reasons for this, primarily I just don't want to deal with Flunky and his maintenance requests. Frankly, anything related to Flunky just annoys the hell out of me.
Last April, two days into my vacation I spent a good 45 minutes in the Wal-Mart parking lot in Fort Stockton Texas, chewing out Flunky for being a liar. At the time, he really had no reasonable defense and didn't care much that I had caught him in lies that were detrimental to my business--which made me chew him out even more. Strangely enough, he took it from me. A few hours later, somewhere near Ozona Texas, he spoke with Marty and got another earful. Either the guy is just some sort of freak who gets his jollys from others yelling at him, or he is a serious dimwit. I am not betting money on which.
Moving right along, months ago, when these repair issues came into play, I made it perfectly clear: CONTACT MY HUSBAND ABOUT THIS HOUSE AND DON'T BOTHER ME. There were e-mails, which Flunky acknowledges ("Mrs. Landlord, I don't have Marty's e-mail address, will you send it to me again?" and "Mrs. Landlord is (your cell number) the best number to reach Marty?")
The other day I got an e-mail from Flunky: It said, "Your tenant is complaining that this work has not been done."
This was news to me. Marty had authorized Part A. Part B wasn't too bad and could wait. So what was the big deal? But because I was not in a saintly frame of mind, I responded with, "Your owner is complaining that the tenant is late on their rent, so nobody is happy right now." I also reminded him that concerning this house, Flunky was to go directly to Marty Sunshine and not involve me whatsoever.
But no. Flunky is an idiot. Instead, he sent me an e-mail saying, "It looks like they paid up," and then asked when we would authorize the work.
Because I am not a fool, I asked Marty to please call Flunky and get things straightened out. Flunky's story to Marty was different, they had not come up with the entire rent amount and when were we going to make all the repairs? So, not only did Flunky lie directly to me--the tenant is not paid up, but he didn't care that he lied to me.
As I explained to Marty, this tenant's lease is up in October. We can't afford to get the work done on this property without the rent money (which will pay for the work). If the tenants move out, we can't afford a vacant home AND the repairs we will need to get this place in order to rent. So, it might be best to see if the tenant is staying before we move forward. Otherwise, it will be the third home to go.
Moving right along, months ago, when these repair issues came into play, I made it perfectly clear: CONTACT MY HUSBAND ABOUT THIS HOUSE AND DON'T BOTHER ME. There were e-mails, which Flunky acknowledges ("Mrs. Landlord, I don't have Marty's e-mail address, will you send it to me again?" and "Mrs. Landlord is (your cell number) the best number to reach Marty?")
The other day I got an e-mail from Flunky: It said, "Your tenant is complaining that this work has not been done."
This was news to me. Marty had authorized Part A. Part B wasn't too bad and could wait. So what was the big deal? But because I was not in a saintly frame of mind, I responded with, "Your owner is complaining that the tenant is late on their rent, so nobody is happy right now." I also reminded him that concerning this house, Flunky was to go directly to Marty Sunshine and not involve me whatsoever.
But no. Flunky is an idiot. Instead, he sent me an e-mail saying, "It looks like they paid up," and then asked when we would authorize the work.
Because I am not a fool, I asked Marty to please call Flunky and get things straightened out. Flunky's story to Marty was different, they had not come up with the entire rent amount and when were we going to make all the repairs? So, not only did Flunky lie directly to me--the tenant is not paid up, but he didn't care that he lied to me.
As I explained to Marty, this tenant's lease is up in October. We can't afford to get the work done on this property without the rent money (which will pay for the work). If the tenants move out, we can't afford a vacant home AND the repairs we will need to get this place in order to rent. So, it might be best to see if the tenant is staying before we move forward. Otherwise, it will be the third home to go.
Friday, August 28, 2015
Oh... The Irony
______________________________________________
To add insult to injury, my 15 year old, Polly, is taking a financial literacy class. For those of you unaware, my daughter has a learning disability. So, I often help her read.
One of the questions I read to her was, "Name a poor financial decision." And before she could stop herself, she blurted, "Buying houses in Alabama."
Monday, August 24, 2015
On A Brighter Note
For those of you three long-time readers, you may recall that August 24 is our own personal holiday around these parts. Today is my dear friend and bookkeeper's birthday. I have known Bliz for more than half of my life. She tutored me in high school chemistry, taught me how to wear eye liner and held my hand as I navigated through teenage angst. What more can a friend ask for?
Many years ago, when I had a wild idea to start an accidental business, Bliz became my bookkeeper. I remember sitting across from her in the Midwestern city she lives in and watching to her agree to this journey. I am so glad she did.
Happy Birthday Bliz. You are an amazing friend. You keep me grounded. You have always brought out the best in me and you listen patiently to my whining. God was working overtime the day He shoved you into my life all those years ago.
--S
PS. Your birthday present will arrive tomorrow. They refused to ship it on Friday. :-)
Many years ago, when I had a wild idea to start an accidental business, Bliz became my bookkeeper. I remember sitting across from her in the Midwestern city she lives in and watching to her agree to this journey. I am so glad she did.
Happy Birthday Bliz. You are an amazing friend. You keep me grounded. You have always brought out the best in me and you listen patiently to my whining. God was working overtime the day He shoved you into my life all those years ago.
--S
PS. Your birthday present will arrive tomorrow. They refused to ship it on Friday. :-)
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
I Can Tell Them Where to Go
Like a bad holiday white elephant gift exchange, I can't seem to unload my two defunct homes.
In fact, the only person who has anything positive to say to me is the guy from India (confirmed) who called me from the second mortgage company for our Pinson home (they house with the wrap around porch, 2 acres, mountains, pond, etc.), who casually asked how I was doing today. The conversation went South about two seconds afterwards when he asked for my social security number, but it was nice while it lasted.
In all fairness, I have heard from representatives of the first mortgage company for the Pinson home. Some attorney sent Marty and me separate letters telling us we are very bad people and they are going to sue us. They were going to take everything we had, including the cat and the kids if we didn't immediately cough up the entire balance of what we owed to them with interest and attorney's fees.
And by the way, they don't like us.
I am sure the sentiment was real, but I can't get too worked up about it when the actual mortgage company--the one who hired these goons--keeps juggling me around. Two weeks ago Naynay was my deed in lieu of foreclosure liaison. Then it was someone named Akmed and now it is a guy named Jonathan. Apparently (according to the e-mail I got from Jonathan) the mortgage company now wants to see the interior of the property and they will then "make a determination" of where to go from there. It doesn't really matter where they decide to "go from there."
I personally don't understand what all the hold up is. I can tell them what is happening next. There is no need to decide where to go from this point forward. They are getting the house back.
In fact, the only person who has anything positive to say to me is the guy from India (confirmed) who called me from the second mortgage company for our Pinson home (they house with the wrap around porch, 2 acres, mountains, pond, etc.), who casually asked how I was doing today. The conversation went South about two seconds afterwards when he asked for my social security number, but it was nice while it lasted.
In all fairness, I have heard from representatives of the first mortgage company for the Pinson home. Some attorney sent Marty and me separate letters telling us we are very bad people and they are going to sue us. They were going to take everything we had, including the cat and the kids if we didn't immediately cough up the entire balance of what we owed to them with interest and attorney's fees.
And by the way, they don't like us.
I am sure the sentiment was real, but I can't get too worked up about it when the actual mortgage company--the one who hired these goons--keeps juggling me around. Two weeks ago Naynay was my deed in lieu of foreclosure liaison. Then it was someone named Akmed and now it is a guy named Jonathan. Apparently (according to the e-mail I got from Jonathan) the mortgage company now wants to see the interior of the property and they will then "make a determination" of where to go from there. It doesn't really matter where they decide to "go from there."
I personally don't understand what all the hold up is. I can tell them what is happening next. There is no need to decide where to go from this point forward. They are getting the house back.
Friday, August 07, 2015
A Week in the Life of an Accidental Business
Though most of the posts these days are centered around the drama of our two pre-foreclosures, there really is other activity happening down South. To give you an idea of what my week was like:
Saturday (August 1): I got a bill from Kirby for work he did that I did not previously authorize. Apparently Flunky, the maintenance jerk took it upon himself to order Kirby to one of my homes on my behalf. Because Kirby gave me the frequent customer discount and I would have authorized it if they he had asked, I have not raised hell with Flunky. Yet.
Sunday: Some horrid hour before 8 a.m., the second mortgage company for the home in Pinson (the one with the charming wrap around porch) called us. I answered, said a few words that aren't intended for a family blog and then promptly went to church to beg for forgiveness.
Also Sunday, Ms. Angie wrote me a pretty creative e-mail explaining why rent would be a tad bit late. Apparently, her daughter had been arrested and the rent money was used for bail. Not once, mind you, but twice in 24 hours. Oh, and by the way, she "loves the home" and "is happy living there."
Monday: I had a long talk with Carolsue. We had not chatted in months. We didn't discuss anything related to Alabama, and it was a lot of fun to chat with an old friend.
Monday I also realized Mrs. Sherwood hadn't paid the rent.
In addition, Monday, Mr. Partner sent me an e-mail telling me one of of our mortgage companies wanted proof of insurance and could I handle that immediately, thankyouverymuch.
Tuesday: The Bigoted Asset Manager sent me a professionally terse letter saying he/his bank would not approve a short sale. Given I have e-mailed and/or talked with this man at least once a week, every week since the beginning of April and he couldn't be bothered to give me a head's up, I am guessing he is serious. More on this in another blog. Probably.
Wednesday: Marty Sunshine contacted the first mortgage company for the home in Pinson to find out what was going on with our deed in lieu of foreclosure. It turns out our representative, Naynay, hadn't done anything--including but not limited to--actually processing all of the papers we had sent to the mortgage company. Nor had Naynay returned my calls or e-mail. Anyway, when Marty called he was told our case was "closed" and Marty asked them to re-open it. We are now told a representative from the mortgage company is supposed to call Luigi's office to arrange access to this house. This particular representative called us once, leaving a message for Marty to call him back immediately. Marty has repeatedly called him back with no luck.
Thursday: Sometime when I wasn't looking, Mrs. Sherwood slipped the rent money into the bank account.
I also found out Thursday that I accidentally paid the second mortgage on the Pinson home through the bank's automatic bill payer option. For the record, this won't be a mistake I make again. However, sending one accidental gratuitous payment has not cut down the calls from the second mortgage payment one bit.
And finally, Friday (today): In the mail today was LegalOwl's bill. I believe there are third world nations with a smaller gross domestic product than what what our LLC owes her.
Saturday (August 1): I got a bill from Kirby for work he did that I did not previously authorize. Apparently Flunky, the maintenance jerk took it upon himself to order Kirby to one of my homes on my behalf. Because Kirby gave me the frequent customer discount and I would have authorized it if they he had asked, I have not raised hell with Flunky. Yet.
Sunday: Some horrid hour before 8 a.m., the second mortgage company for the home in Pinson (the one with the charming wrap around porch) called us. I answered, said a few words that aren't intended for a family blog and then promptly went to church to beg for forgiveness.
Also Sunday, Ms. Angie wrote me a pretty creative e-mail explaining why rent would be a tad bit late. Apparently, her daughter had been arrested and the rent money was used for bail. Not once, mind you, but twice in 24 hours. Oh, and by the way, she "loves the home" and "is happy living there."
Monday: I had a long talk with Carolsue. We had not chatted in months. We didn't discuss anything related to Alabama, and it was a lot of fun to chat with an old friend.
Monday I also realized Mrs. Sherwood hadn't paid the rent.
In addition, Monday, Mr. Partner sent me an e-mail telling me one of of our mortgage companies wanted proof of insurance and could I handle that immediately, thankyouverymuch.
Tuesday: The Bigoted Ass
Wednesday: Marty Sunshine contacted the first mortgage company for the home in Pinson to find out what was going on with our deed in lieu of foreclosure. It turns out our representative, Naynay, hadn't done anything--including but not limited to--actually processing all of the papers we had sent to the mortgage company. Nor had Naynay returned my calls or e-mail. Anyway, when Marty called he was told our case was "closed" and Marty asked them to re-open it. We are now told a representative from the mortgage company is supposed to call Luigi's office to arrange access to this house. This particular representative called us once, leaving a message for Marty to call him back immediately. Marty has repeatedly called him back with no luck.
Thursday: Sometime when I wasn't looking, Mrs. Sherwood slipped the rent money into the bank account.
I also found out Thursday that I accidentally paid the second mortgage on the Pinson home through the bank's automatic bill payer option. For the record, this won't be a mistake I make again. However, sending one accidental gratuitous payment has not cut down the calls from the second mortgage payment one bit.
And finally, Friday (today): In the mail today was LegalOwl's bill. I believe there are third world nations with a smaller gross domestic product than what what our LLC owes her.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
And Neither Have We
Well, the bigoted Asset Manager for the home we have in North Birmingham (the one where the bank called the second mortgage due) has gotten back to us about our super-awesome short sale offer. As you may recall, we have someone willing to pay $58,000 for our home.
Unfortunately, what the bank had to say was they they will only do a short sale if I agree to give them close to $30,000 upfront and sign a promissory note for the remainder. Now for those of you confused on what a short sale happens to be, it is when the bank agrees to take an amount less than the amount owed because the value on the property is lower than the amount owed.
So, asking us to pay the difference in cash and a promissory note defies the entire purpose of the short sale in the first place. In fact, before we even started this process I spoke with the Asset Manager to verify we were on the same page. My first clue there might have been an issue is when he said last April, "I just pulled up your credit. You are never going to convince the bank with credit like yours that you can't pay." I should have gone with my gut. However, I do recall speaking with Mr. Asset Manager at the time who assured me in no way did the bank want a foreclosure. After all, then they have to sell it.
And now, here we are. Today I showed the Asset Manager's e-mail to all the major players. Kirby assures me they are bluffing and will cave. When I first got Legal Owl involved today, she suggested I play along to buy some time. But after morebillable hours deliberation, we decided to just tell the bank to go ahead and foreclose. Our credit is now crap anyway. We don't have the money and it won't change if I sign a promissory note or not. And frankly, I don't want to promise to pay more money that I can't necessarily follow up on. So Legal Owl wrote a lengthy missive that boiled down to "Go ahead and deny this, I've got nothing to loose." I signed off on it and sent it on is as my own.
Not three minutes later the Asset Manager wrote back that I really needed to reconsider. It will wreck my credit (so will a short sale), I need to talk to an accountant because there are some tax implications (done) and a string of other things that sound like what you might tell a small child when you want them to do something they really don't need to do. The gist was I was making a grave mistake by not agreeing to give them money upfront and pay the rest later. He wrote a good letter until the end when threw this gem at me,
Unfortunately, what the bank had to say was they they will only do a short sale if I agree to give them close to $30,000 upfront and sign a promissory note for the remainder. Now for those of you confused on what a short sale happens to be, it is when the bank agrees to take an amount less than the amount owed because the value on the property is lower than the amount owed.
So, asking us to pay the difference in cash and a promissory note defies the entire purpose of the short sale in the first place. In fact, before we even started this process I spoke with the Asset Manager to verify we were on the same page. My first clue there might have been an issue is when he said last April, "I just pulled up your credit. You are never going to convince the bank with credit like yours that you can't pay." I should have gone with my gut. However, I do recall speaking with Mr. Asset Manager at the time who assured me in no way did the bank want a foreclosure. After all, then they have to sell it.
And now, here we are. Today I showed the Asset Manager's e-mail to all the major players. Kirby assures me they are bluffing and will cave. When I first got Legal Owl involved today, she suggested I play along to buy some time. But after more
Not three minutes later the Asset Manager wrote back that I really needed to reconsider. It will wreck my credit (so will a short sale), I need to talk to an accountant because there are some tax implications (done) and a string of other things that sound like what you might tell a small child when you want them to do something they really don't need to do. The gist was I was making a grave mistake by not agreeing to give them money upfront and pay the rest later. He wrote a good letter until the end when threw this gem at me,
"We could foreclose and that would probably resolve the issues above. Believe it or not, I have never done a deed in lieu. I am not sure how to handle that."Yep. That's the crux right there. He doesn't know what to do next. Guess what? That makes two of us.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Reflecting
It infuriated me beyond belief when tenants would say, "I don't have the rent," and then stay in my house. Or, they would be short every month, but when I came to Alabama, they would have furnishings or toys much newer and nicer than mine because furnishings and toys are more important than paying for a place to live. I consider the contract to rent a home to be binding. I do my part, and I expect the person signing to to theirs.
I have been known to call these folks deadbeats, losers or worse. Some of them still make my jaw clench when I think how they stayed in my home, letting me (at times) work two jobs just so we could pay the mortgage company and the lawyer to evict them.
We work for what we have and we expect those on the receiving end to act accordingly. Yes, we have had some nice vacations, but they were paid for with cash. Ahead of time. I bring this up, because one tenant who was squatting in my home actually suggested if my family hadn't gone to California one year, we could have afforded her not to pay the rent. So it was our fault.
The reason I bring this up is because we are doing the same with our mortgage companies. Essentially we have become the deadbeats or losers. I struggle with this daily.
Marty Sunshine suggested it isn't remotely the same. When our situation became the reality it is, we told the banks immediately. We offered them the homes upfront. But they didn't want them. I understand our reason for going this direction was strategic. But then, one could argue, our tenants' reasoning for staying in our homes long past when they should have left could also be deemed "strategic."
In return for us breaking our contracts with the banks, we will be sued. There will be a judgement against us. We are unable to get loans for just about anything for years (if we want loans). We can't get a new mortgage any time soon either. My credit score alone has dropped 73 points in the past eight weeks. Marty Sunshine (whose name and credit is tied with more of these delinquent loans than my name), doesn't want to know how far his score has plummeted. Eventually--when the dust settles--we will most likely file bankruptcy. All because of a situation we couldn't control. Or didn't control properly. You pick.
But I don't see how I can call the people who did this to me deadbeats without looking in the mirror and seeing the same.
I have been known to call these folks deadbeats, losers or worse. Some of them still make my jaw clench when I think how they stayed in my home, letting me (at times) work two jobs just so we could pay the mortgage company and the lawyer to evict them.
We work for what we have and we expect those on the receiving end to act accordingly. Yes, we have had some nice vacations, but they were paid for with cash. Ahead of time. I bring this up, because one tenant who was squatting in my home actually suggested if my family hadn't gone to California one year, we could have afforded her not to pay the rent. So it was our fault.
The reason I bring this up is because we are doing the same with our mortgage companies. Essentially we have become the deadbeats or losers. I struggle with this daily.
Marty Sunshine suggested it isn't remotely the same. When our situation became the reality it is, we told the banks immediately. We offered them the homes upfront. But they didn't want them. I understand our reason for going this direction was strategic. But then, one could argue, our tenants' reasoning for staying in our homes long past when they should have left could also be deemed "strategic."
In return for us breaking our contracts with the banks, we will be sued. There will be a judgement against us. We are unable to get loans for just about anything for years (if we want loans). We can't get a new mortgage any time soon either. My credit score alone has dropped 73 points in the past eight weeks. Marty Sunshine (whose name and credit is tied with more of these delinquent loans than my name), doesn't want to know how far his score has plummeted. Eventually--when the dust settles--we will most likely file bankruptcy. All because of a situation we couldn't control. Or didn't control properly. You pick.
But I don't see how I can call the people who did this to me deadbeats without looking in the mirror and seeing the same.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
We Got His Attention
If you are a long-time reader of this blog, you might have gotten the impression Mr. Partner is rough around the edges. He is. He is also a savvy landlord and I have learned a lot from him through the years.
The biggest challenge we have faced with Mr. Partner is his memory has holes. We were rocking in the early years of the accidental business. Just rocking. He thought I was a genius. Heck, I thought I was a genius! Our business plan was spot-on and everything was going swimmingly.
And then it didn't.
And Mr. Partner didn't seem to comprehend "We have 12 vacancies, a dead water buffalo heard rotting the basement of one home and the FBI is zeroing in on a potential illegal Romanian gambling ring in another house." The crazies--and I promise you every story I write on here is true--started piling up and 1) a blog was born and 2) we ran out of money. Fast.
When approaching Mr. Partner with financial drama, generally what I would hear from him was, "Why did this happen? It wasn't like this back in 2007."
This is where it got interesting. Marty Sunshine and I always contributed first when I noticed our business bank account was running low. After a few months of financial juggling, we would ask Mr. Partner to match our contribution. Instead of just agreeing, or asking something reasonable, like how much did we contribute and when, Mr. Partner would ask for bank statements. He would then point out that our account on the first of the month had lots of money in it what happened to the money? That's true, but once the bills are paid, the money was gone.
Mr. Partner would also ask for income statements and balance sheets. Let's be fair, he is owed these items. They were also provided to him regularly. He didn't want the regular ones, but he wanted up-to-date numbers that did not reflect reality. Because financial statements tell viewer of what happened before, not what is happening right now.
However, in order for him to commit to putting a penny into the bank account, which was usually on the brink of us bouncing mortgages, he would insist upon seeing these reports. I would always call Bliz, beg her forgiveness, ask her to drop everything she was doing and please make the financials current and send them over to me. Then, once she sent everything, I'd pass it along to Mr. Partner who would scrutinize it and ask why we spent so much on dead water buffalo removal and couldn't we have found someone trustworthy to do it for $25?
Also, for those of you not familiar with balance sheets, the Owner's Equity category is a negative number. This always throws Mr. Partner because his negative number is closer to zero than ours. So, in his mind, it was he who put in more money. And again, before he would commit to making sure nothing bounced, Marty would have to explain this concept to him. The reason Marty did this is because I got to the point where I could not speak civilly to Mr. Partner.
In all fairness, Mr. Partner would always oblige, match our contribution and say things like, "This will be the last time I ever give another dime to this LLC."
One time, when I knew we were on a fast track to bouncing every mortgage payment, I sent him a saccharine-sweet note, letting him know that if he didn't match our contribution immediately, it would be the homes in his name where the mortgages weren't paid that month. And that was fine by me. Another time, I may have accidentally on purpose not paid the property taxes on a home with the mortgage in his name. But hey! We didn't have the money and Mr. Partner was being stubborn.
This tenuous relationship has lasted for years. Marty--bless him--has always been the peacemaker between Mr. Partner's obnoxious insinuations that I have run the company into the ground and me promising a painful and cruel death for the man if he didn't do his part. And, there has been more than one occasion where I have pointed out to him that I go to Birmingham on my own dime (at his request) and I take the calls, shield him from the plethora of drama and a LOT OF OTHER STUFF HAPPENS because I do it and he doesn't. And I am willing to trade jobs with him any time.
In the past six months or so, things have shifted. When we came to Mr. Partner and explained the bank called the mortgage due for our home in North Birmingham and the home in Pinson is beyond reasonable repair he listened. We then told him Marty and I were willing to let the homes go. It would be our credit trashed and we would probably have to file bankruptcy to clean up this mess. Though we weren't excited about this prospect, we had consulted a lawyer and a few other experts (on the LLC's dime) and it appeared it was the only recourse we could see to solve this mess. The banks weren't going to play and we did not have the money anymore.
Mr. Partner offered to help out with whatever financial necessitates were needed. And we appreciated it. But it didn't change the realities. This wasn't something we could just write a check to fix. We asked him to think about if he really wanted to do that. And he asked us if we were really sure we wanted to "strategically downsize." We were sure. And frankly I think Mr. Partner was sure too.
Since then, Mr. Partner has been very conciliatory. "Anything you need," he has told me almost weekly. When I warned him the insurances were due this month and it was usually Marty and I who handled this, he said not to worry, he'd cover it.
A couple weeks ago, the three of us went to lunch to discuss the state of affairs. I made a few jokes about our credit being shot and our impending financial meltdown. I joked because at this point, one can only wallow in the miasma of doom for so long. It is the decision we made. And so far, I feel it is for the best. I realized afterwards my comments made him uncomfortable, but that was certainly not my intention. But that said, it seems that Marty and I being willing to let these homes go to get this monkey off our back has certainly made an impact on him.
The biggest challenge we have faced with Mr. Partner is his memory has holes. We were rocking in the early years of the accidental business. Just rocking. He thought I was a genius. Heck, I thought I was a genius! Our business plan was spot-on and everything was going swimmingly.
And then it didn't.
And Mr. Partner didn't seem to comprehend "We have 12 vacancies, a dead water buffalo heard rotting the basement of one home and the FBI is zeroing in on a potential illegal Romanian gambling ring in another house." The crazies--and I promise you every story I write on here is true--started piling up and 1) a blog was born and 2) we ran out of money. Fast.
When approaching Mr. Partner with financial drama, generally what I would hear from him was, "Why did this happen? It wasn't like this back in 2007."
This is where it got interesting. Marty Sunshine and I always contributed first when I noticed our business bank account was running low. After a few months of financial juggling, we would ask Mr. Partner to match our contribution. Instead of just agreeing, or asking something reasonable, like how much did we contribute and when, Mr. Partner would ask for bank statements. He would then point out that our account on the first of the month had lots of money in it what happened to the money? That's true, but once the bills are paid, the money was gone.
Mr. Partner would also ask for income statements and balance sheets. Let's be fair, he is owed these items. They were also provided to him regularly. He didn't want the regular ones, but he wanted up-to-date numbers that did not reflect reality. Because financial statements tell viewer of what happened before, not what is happening right now.
However, in order for him to commit to putting a penny into the bank account, which was usually on the brink of us bouncing mortgages, he would insist upon seeing these reports. I would always call Bliz, beg her forgiveness, ask her to drop everything she was doing and please make the financials current and send them over to me. Then, once she sent everything, I'd pass it along to Mr. Partner who would scrutinize it and ask why we spent so much on dead water buffalo removal and couldn't we have found someone trustworthy to do it for $25?
Also, for those of you not familiar with balance sheets, the Owner's Equity category is a negative number. This always throws Mr. Partner because his negative number is closer to zero than ours. So, in his mind, it was he who put in more money. And again, before he would commit to making sure nothing bounced, Marty would have to explain this concept to him. The reason Marty did this is because I got to the point where I could not speak civilly to Mr. Partner.
In all fairness, Mr. Partner would always oblige, match our contribution and say things like, "This will be the last time I ever give another dime to this LLC."
One time, when I knew we were on a fast track to bouncing every mortgage payment, I sent him a saccharine-sweet note, letting him know that if he didn't match our contribution immediately, it would be the homes in his name where the mortgages weren't paid that month. And that was fine by me. Another time, I may have accidentally on purpose not paid the property taxes on a home with the mortgage in his name. But hey! We didn't have the money and Mr. Partner was being stubborn.
This tenuous relationship has lasted for years. Marty--bless him--has always been the peacemaker between Mr. Partner's obnoxious insinuations that I have run the company into the ground and me promising a painful and cruel death for the man if he didn't do his part. And, there has been more than one occasion where I have pointed out to him that I go to Birmingham on my own dime (at his request) and I take the calls, shield him from the plethora of drama and a LOT OF OTHER STUFF HAPPENS because I do it and he doesn't. And I am willing to trade jobs with him any time.
In the past six months or so, things have shifted. When we came to Mr. Partner and explained the bank called the mortgage due for our home in North Birmingham and the home in Pinson is beyond reasonable repair he listened. We then told him Marty and I were willing to let the homes go. It would be our credit trashed and we would probably have to file bankruptcy to clean up this mess. Though we weren't excited about this prospect, we had consulted a lawyer and a few other experts (on the LLC's dime) and it appeared it was the only recourse we could see to solve this mess. The banks weren't going to play and we did not have the money anymore.
Mr. Partner offered to help out with whatever financial necessitates were needed. And we appreciated it. But it didn't change the realities. This wasn't something we could just write a check to fix. We asked him to think about if he really wanted to do that. And he asked us if we were really sure we wanted to "strategically downsize." We were sure. And frankly I think Mr. Partner was sure too.
Since then, Mr. Partner has been very conciliatory. "Anything you need," he has told me almost weekly. When I warned him the insurances were due this month and it was usually Marty and I who handled this, he said not to worry, he'd cover it.
A couple weeks ago, the three of us went to lunch to discuss the state of affairs. I made a few jokes about our credit being shot and our impending financial meltdown. I joked because at this point, one can only wallow in the miasma of doom for so long. It is the decision we made. And so far, I feel it is for the best. I realized afterwards my comments made him uncomfortable, but that was certainly not my intention. But that said, it seems that Marty and I being willing to let these homes go to get this monkey off our back has certainly made an impact on him.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Functional Dysfunction
Every July, since the first year of our accidental business, most of my home owner's insurances happen to be due. Don't ask me why, but the majority of our gazillion homes we bought through the years were purchased in July. So here we are.
Also, because of strategic business decisions of years' past, we pay several of our insurances (and taxes, but that's December's issue) out of pocket. And, because we have a gazillion properties, traditional insurance companies stopped insuring us long ago. So five of our homes happen to be lumped into two commercial insurance policies.
This is where it gets a bit messy. Unfortunately three of the five homes in these two policies are homes Marty and I own without a partner. In the event you aren't completely confused and are still reading this: one policy holds three homes (two are Marty's and mine and one belongs to the LLC we have with Mr. Partner) and the other commercial policy holds two (one is Marty's and mine and one happens to be the home we have a short sale on--but it is in Mr. Partner's LLC).
Additionally, paying these two clunky policies is a bit of a chore. The money can't be co-mingled. So the Solo LLC can't pay Mr. Partner's LLC's policy without a lot of excessive journal entries and insanity Bliz just hasn't signed up for.
There are other insurance policies on our other homes out there, but these are the two policies tend to be most maddening. Once upon a time when Bliz had more free time, she would patiently sort through this, figure out which home's policy cost how much and then pay these particular bills for me. But one year she gave me some veiled threat of mutiny and a quadrupled hourly rate if she had to figure out how to disperse the money for these five homes.
So, this job is now mine. And now every July I have to dedicate several hours to figure out the login to the insurance Web site and guess at the password (because it is something unconventional like !obn0xious1) so I can actually read the policies and decipher the payment amount per home. It takes less time to read the entire Harry Potter series than figure this nonsense out.
I have to tell you, it would be genuinely nice if the insurance company would actually just mail me the policy and the bill like I have repeatedly requested. But, they don't. It is a fight I fought and lost. And at this point, I know what to do, where to look and just have adjusted my life accordingly.
Then there is Mrs. Sherwood's home's policy. This policy is from a different insurance company and they never send me a bill either. And again, I have asked and got tired of loosing this battle. There is only so much rejection I can handle in one month. But to their credit, they do send me a cancellation notice if I don't pay it. There have been numerous years I have had to call the insurance company begging to be reinstated (and suggesting if they had sent me a statement in the first place I would have taken care of this). Ironically, the only other time they send me a bill is after I send them $300 or so around July 12. Only then will they let me know exactly how much I really owe.
The biggest challenge with this process is, of course, that we are under-capitalized And, when one has under-capitalized issues, paying several thousand dollars of home owner's insurance is a bit of a challenge. So every summer we start a campaign to scrape together the money. Generally Marty and I make up the difference in July and Mr. Partner handles the money for the taxes in December. It is a simple dysfunction we have all grown comfortable with.
However, this year things were different. After I settled down last week do figure out what needed to happen, I discovered we had just enough money in the LLC to cover our insurances! You know, the way it should have been all along if things had gone smoothly. Sadly, the reason the money was there this year to begin with was because we aren't paying for the two homes we are giving back.
Also, because of strategic business decisions of years' past, we pay several of our insurances (and taxes, but that's December's issue) out of pocket. And, because we have a gazillion properties, traditional insurance companies stopped insuring us long ago. So five of our homes happen to be lumped into two commercial insurance policies.
This is where it gets a bit messy. Unfortunately three of the five homes in these two policies are homes Marty and I own without a partner. In the event you aren't completely confused and are still reading this: one policy holds three homes (two are Marty's and mine and one belongs to the LLC we have with Mr. Partner) and the other commercial policy holds two (one is Marty's and mine and one happens to be the home we have a short sale on--but it is in Mr. Partner's LLC).
Additionally, paying these two clunky policies is a bit of a chore. The money can't be co-mingled. So the Solo LLC can't pay Mr. Partner's LLC's policy without a lot of excessive journal entries and insanity Bliz just hasn't signed up for.
There are other insurance policies on our other homes out there, but these are the two policies tend to be most maddening. Once upon a time when Bliz had more free time, she would patiently sort through this, figure out which home's policy cost how much and then pay these particular bills for me. But one year she gave me some veiled threat of mutiny and a quadrupled hourly rate if she had to figure out how to disperse the money for these five homes.
So, this job is now mine. And now every July I have to dedicate several hours to figure out the login to the insurance Web site and guess at the password (because it is something unconventional like !obn0xious1) so I can actually read the policies and decipher the payment amount per home. It takes less time to read the entire Harry Potter series than figure this nonsense out.
I have to tell you, it would be genuinely nice if the insurance company would actually just mail me the policy and the bill like I have repeatedly requested. But, they don't. It is a fight I fought and lost. And at this point, I know what to do, where to look and just have adjusted my life accordingly.
Then there is Mrs. Sherwood's home's policy. This policy is from a different insurance company and they never send me a bill either. And again, I have asked and got tired of loosing this battle. There is only so much rejection I can handle in one month. But to their credit, they do send me a cancellation notice if I don't pay it. There have been numerous years I have had to call the insurance company begging to be reinstated (and suggesting if they had sent me a statement in the first place I would have taken care of this). Ironically, the only other time they send me a bill is after I send them $300 or so around July 12. Only then will they let me know exactly how much I really owe.
The biggest challenge with this process is, of course, that we are under-capitalized And, when one has under-capitalized issues, paying several thousand dollars of home owner's insurance is a bit of a challenge. So every summer we start a campaign to scrape together the money. Generally Marty and I make up the difference in July and Mr. Partner handles the money for the taxes in December. It is a simple dysfunction we have all grown comfortable with.
However, this year things were different. After I settled down last week do figure out what needed to happen, I discovered we had just enough money in the LLC to cover our insurances! You know, the way it should have been all along if things had gone smoothly. Sadly, the reason the money was there this year to begin with was because we aren't paying for the two homes we are giving back.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
The Non-Relationship Manager
The home where we are doing a Deed in Lieu of Foreclose (the house in Pinson with the charming wrap around front porch, for those of you keeping track) has a first and second mortgage. The process is maddening. There are times I feel like dealing with it, and times I don't.
We have been in contact with both mortgage companies since the beginning of the process. This has not stopped the second mortgage company from calling us twice a day, which they do. Last week, when they called for the first time one day, I needed to talk with them. You see, they had sent us a certified letter that we opted not to accept. So, I wanted to find out what they wanted.
When "Mark" called last Thursday, I was in a cheerful mood. As soon as he identified himself, I said, "I am so glad you called. Would you please put me through to the asset manager. I need to speak with her."
At which point, Mark put me into the main phone system where a computer admonished me for being late, told me how much I owed and told me they would like a payment immediately thankyouverymuch, and if I wanted to speak with a human being, please press 2.
Apparently my relationship manager (Laury, whom I have yet to speak with), was unavailable but someone named "Agent 26" came on the line. Still being somewhat cheerful, I was totally taken aback by Agent 26's demeanor. He was downright hostile. He pointed out I owed money. Why wasn't I paying it? Seriously, it is a second mortgage and can't I just give up my "daily Starbucks addition" and manage my budge better so that I can pay them the money I owe?
This was all before I even said why I wanted to talk to him.
By the way, I don't drink coffee, nor do I frequent Starbucks.
I didn't give him a sob story. I won't. But I told him the truth (because he finally asked why we hadn't paid): the tenant moved in, didn't pay, trashed the place and fought the eviction. We drained our savings trying to pay the mortgage and pay the attorney on the house where these deadbeats lived. We don't have the money to fix it up. That is the truth. All of this I conveyed with as much of a pleasant professional demeanor as I could muster.
Agent 26 replied, "So this is a short-term problem and we can expect your payment when?" And at this point there was really no reason to continue with the call. The two points of interest I did gleam from this guy was they will not do a Deed in Lieu. Nope. No way. No how (then we will go straight to foreclose--but there was no point telling him). He also told me the second mortgage company plans on suing us. Which I pretty much figured out by the twice-daily phone calls.
I never did get around to the crux of the call (what was in the letter they sent?). Nor did I say what I really wanted to tell him, which is: "Do you think after owning this home for 11 years we want this??" Frankly, Agent 26 wouldn't let me talk anyway. And by that time, I really didn't want to.
We have been in contact with both mortgage companies since the beginning of the process. This has not stopped the second mortgage company from calling us twice a day, which they do. Last week, when they called for the first time one day, I needed to talk with them. You see, they had sent us a certified letter that we opted not to accept. So, I wanted to find out what they wanted.
When "Mark" called last Thursday, I was in a cheerful mood. As soon as he identified himself, I said, "I am so glad you called. Would you please put me through to the asset manager. I need to speak with her."
At which point, Mark put me into the main phone system where a computer admonished me for being late, told me how much I owed and told me they would like a payment immediately thankyouverymuch, and if I wanted to speak with a human being, please press 2.
Apparently my relationship manager (Laury, whom I have yet to speak with), was unavailable but someone named "Agent 26" came on the line. Still being somewhat cheerful, I was totally taken aback by Agent 26's demeanor. He was downright hostile. He pointed out I owed money. Why wasn't I paying it? Seriously, it is a second mortgage and can't I just give up my "daily Starbucks addition" and manage my budge better so that I can pay them the money I owe?
This was all before I even said why I wanted to talk to him.
By the way, I don't drink coffee, nor do I frequent Starbucks.
I didn't give him a sob story. I won't. But I told him the truth (because he finally asked why we hadn't paid): the tenant moved in, didn't pay, trashed the place and fought the eviction. We drained our savings trying to pay the mortgage and pay the attorney on the house where these deadbeats lived. We don't have the money to fix it up. That is the truth. All of this I conveyed with as much of a pleasant professional demeanor as I could muster.
Agent 26 replied, "So this is a short-term problem and we can expect your payment when?" And at this point there was really no reason to continue with the call. The two points of interest I did gleam from this guy was they will not do a Deed in Lieu. Nope. No way. No how (then we will go straight to foreclose--but there was no point telling him). He also told me the second mortgage company plans on suing us. Which I pretty much figured out by the twice-daily phone calls.
I never did get around to the crux of the call (what was in the letter they sent?). Nor did I say what I really wanted to tell him, which is: "Do you think after owning this home for 11 years we want this??" Frankly, Agent 26 wouldn't let me talk anyway. And by that time, I really didn't want to.
Thursday, July 09, 2015
We're In The Money
So Kirby has sent me another offer for our short sale. This phenomenally wonderful offer is for $58,000. Sadly, this is a full priced offer. Hopefully the bank will be as thrilled as we are.
Wednesday, July 08, 2015
This Is A Fine How-Do-You-Do
Last summer I helped Kathy and Tony find a lovely rental home. The home in question is a modest three bedroom stuccoed home in East Mesa. The house isn't in property management, but it self-managed by the out-of-state owner.
I should explain--because it might give you a bit of context--the way the system in Arizona works is that I show the house, the folks interested put an application in and if approved, a few weeks later I get a check that equates to about $4 an hour for my time. So, I don't know who the owner is. I don't write the lease. And I don't have any details about the lease.
Fast forward to this week. Kathy called me. You see, her lease states that she is to deposit the rent money directly into the owner's bank account. Apparently, her lease also gives her the owner's phone number to call if anything happens. But the lease does not give a few other vital tidbits: like the owner's e-mail address or a physical address. Just in case.
After all, what could possibly go wrong? Right?
If you happen to be one of my three readers, you will be snickering to yourself, because you know that something wrong happens in situations like these. In this case, when Tony went to deposit the rent money last week he found out the account was closed. While standing in line while the Wells Fargo teller waited patiently, Tony called the phone number he had for his landlord only to find out it was disconnected. And after probing a bit farther with the teller (who could have just told him this to begin with), it turns out the owner is deceased.
And that's when I got a phone call.
Technically, Kathy and Tony have not been officially notified about the owner's death. In fact, after I dug around on the ole' Internet for a while I found out that 1) the owner had resided in Miami Florida, 2) He died in January, 2015 and 3) it was a "tragic death", though I don't have any real details about it. I can also tell you he was self-employed and had heirs.
There are legal reasons I don't want to get involved with this. It isn't that I don't like these folks, but there are legalities associated with my real estate license, so I am not advising them. However, I have told the where to go for the information they are seeking. I did tell them if it were me, I would hold on to the rent money and not to spend it. They owe the money. But then again, they are owed their security deposit when they leave if they have fulfilled the terms of the lease.
I called Kathy today to follow up her and see how she was doing with her new news (I was morbidly curious). At this time they have decided to stay--though their lease is up at the end of July. Their thinking is that someone will eventually officially notify them, whether it is a family member, the bank telling them the home is in foreclosure or a probate court.
They are also setting aside the rent money so that they can show they have tried to pay it. They have written a statement, attached it to this month's rent, saying the owner had refused to give them his address or any way to get in touch with them other than a disconnected phone number. They put that in the same envelope as the rent. I am not advising them on this one, but I did tell them to call me when they are ready to find another home.
So, fellow landlords, it might be a really good idea to give your tenants a few ways to contact you. And, it might be a good idea for your heirs to contact your tenants in the unlikely event something unfortunate happens to you.
I should explain--because it might give you a bit of context--the way the system in Arizona works is that I show the house, the folks interested put an application in and if approved, a few weeks later I get a check that equates to about $4 an hour for my time. So, I don't know who the owner is. I don't write the lease. And I don't have any details about the lease.
Fast forward to this week. Kathy called me. You see, her lease states that she is to deposit the rent money directly into the owner's bank account. Apparently, her lease also gives her the owner's phone number to call if anything happens. But the lease does not give a few other vital tidbits: like the owner's e-mail address or a physical address. Just in case.
After all, what could possibly go wrong? Right?
If you happen to be one of my three readers, you will be snickering to yourself, because you know that something wrong happens in situations like these. In this case, when Tony went to deposit the rent money last week he found out the account was closed. While standing in line while the Wells Fargo teller waited patiently, Tony called the phone number he had for his landlord only to find out it was disconnected. And after probing a bit farther with the teller (who could have just told him this to begin with), it turns out the owner is deceased.
And that's when I got a phone call.
Technically, Kathy and Tony have not been officially notified about the owner's death. In fact, after I dug around on the ole' Internet for a while I found out that 1) the owner had resided in Miami Florida, 2) He died in January, 2015 and 3) it was a "tragic death", though I don't have any real details about it. I can also tell you he was self-employed and had heirs.
There are legal reasons I don't want to get involved with this. It isn't that I don't like these folks, but there are legalities associated with my real estate license, so I am not advising them. However, I have told the where to go for the information they are seeking. I did tell them if it were me, I would hold on to the rent money and not to spend it. They owe the money. But then again, they are owed their security deposit when they leave if they have fulfilled the terms of the lease.
I called Kathy today to follow up her and see how she was doing with her new news (I was morbidly curious). At this time they have decided to stay--though their lease is up at the end of July. Their thinking is that someone will eventually officially notify them, whether it is a family member, the bank telling them the home is in foreclosure or a probate court.
They are also setting aside the rent money so that they can show they have tried to pay it. They have written a statement, attached it to this month's rent, saying the owner had refused to give them his address or any way to get in touch with them other than a disconnected phone number. They put that in the same envelope as the rent. I am not advising them on this one, but I did tell them to call me when they are ready to find another home.
So, fellow landlords, it might be a really good idea to give your tenants a few ways to contact you. And, it might be a good idea for your heirs to contact your tenants in the unlikely event something unfortunate happens to you.
Saturday, July 04, 2015
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