We will return to your regularly scheduled blog shortly.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Beware of the Ides of March and the Rest of the %&$#^* Month Too
Typically springtime is my favorite time of year. However, this particular March has just stunk. On the private side, Polly had some weird ailment that kept me hopping from doctor to doctor for a couple of weeks (she's fine now). In addition, I have been working a zillion hours--which will hopefully pan out in a month or two, and the two property management companies I have hired in Birmingham are driving me to stroke out on a daily basis.
Mario's minion, Bruce--who was more than happy to answer my calls and e-mails when he first learned he had lost my gazillion minus one (the one he currently manages) homes earlier this year, got over himself and stopped talking to me at an inopportune moment. He originally sent me a punch list of things the tenant was asking to be fixed. My reply was simply: how many of the particular issues on this list are you asking me to fix that the tenant may have caused?
And, because Bruce tends to be conflict avoidant, he didn't get back to me--even after four e-mails. After a while, I contacted Mario and suggested Bruce must be on vacation, because I am certain he would have answered my question right away, given Bruce is so um... awesome. I let Mario know I was just astonished he hadn't replied to my simple request: was the faucet leaking before the tenant moved in or did the tenant break the faucet and expect me to fix it? After Mario didn't respond for a week either, I started writing more lengthy e-mails and using larger words, hoping to convey my frustration at their silence.
Finally Mario gave in and suggested we needed to have a phone conference. That is scheduled for sometime next week. I really am not sure why we need a pow-wow over a stupid punch list, but whatever. I can roll my eyes just as easily on the phone as I can at an e-mail. All I want to know is was the faucet leaking, was the shower door broken and was the fireplace cleaned before the tenant moved in?
Mario's drama just pales in comparison to Luigi. In his defense, Luigi manages more of my homes (a lot more) and has more hassles. I suspect he is cursing my name for bringing over my homes and all the subsequent baggage associated with these properties. That "baggage" is a blog or five for another time.
At one point a few weeks ago, Luigi sent me a note saying he was sorry to send me another work order. I wrote back: "What a coincidence! I am sorry to receive this." Which I was. Very sorry. The dishwasher had a slow leak that ruined the kitchen floor and all of the cabinets.
Last week, in addition to the popcorn ceiling request, he sent me an invoice for a gas leak I had at my property. He sweetly suggested I look over the invoice and explained he would call in a few minutes to "explain everything." I looked at the total and wrote him back, telling him to just call 911 and just send over a defibrillator.
I have property management companies so I don't have to deal with this stuff. For the most part, I am relieved I am not getting the tenant calls, but I am very tired of writing checks.
Mario's minion, Bruce--who was more than happy to answer my calls and e-mails when he first learned he had lost my gazillion minus one (the one he currently manages) homes earlier this year, got over himself and stopped talking to me at an inopportune moment. He originally sent me a punch list of things the tenant was asking to be fixed. My reply was simply: how many of the particular issues on this list are you asking me to fix that the tenant may have caused?
And, because Bruce tends to be conflict avoidant, he didn't get back to me--even after four e-mails. After a while, I contacted Mario and suggested Bruce must be on vacation, because I am certain he would have answered my question right away, given Bruce is so um... awesome. I let Mario know I was just astonished he hadn't replied to my simple request: was the faucet leaking before the tenant moved in or did the tenant break the faucet and expect me to fix it? After Mario didn't respond for a week either, I started writing more lengthy e-mails and using larger words, hoping to convey my frustration at their silence.
Finally Mario gave in and suggested we needed to have a phone conference. That is scheduled for sometime next week. I really am not sure why we need a pow-wow over a stupid punch list, but whatever. I can roll my eyes just as easily on the phone as I can at an e-mail. All I want to know is was the faucet leaking, was the shower door broken and was the fireplace cleaned before the tenant moved in?
Mario's drama just pales in comparison to Luigi. In his defense, Luigi manages more of my homes (a lot more) and has more hassles. I suspect he is cursing my name for bringing over my homes and all the subsequent baggage associated with these properties. That "baggage" is a blog or five for another time.
At one point a few weeks ago, Luigi sent me a note saying he was sorry to send me another work order. I wrote back: "What a coincidence! I am sorry to receive this." Which I was. Very sorry. The dishwasher had a slow leak that ruined the kitchen floor and all of the cabinets.
Last week, in addition to the popcorn ceiling request, he sent me an invoice for a gas leak I had at my property. He sweetly suggested I look over the invoice and explained he would call in a few minutes to "explain everything." I looked at the total and wrote him back, telling him to just call 911 and just send over a defibrillator.
I have property management companies so I don't have to deal with this stuff. For the most part, I am relieved I am not getting the tenant calls, but I am very tired of writing checks.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Free Popcorn
To give you an idea what my Monday was like, my first phone battery was dead by 11:47 a.m. and my second one by 4:52 p.m. Not including a of a pal of Polly's who called no less than 16 times in a half hour, my phone rang on average ever minute starting at 7 a.m. (and it was an Alabama call) and didn't stop until I turned it off after 6 p.m. Undercapitalized issues be damned. I was done for the day.
In addition to my phone, my texts sported messages from really awesome people like Bliz to some family members, whom I pretty much ignored, who had nothing better to do than contact me about self-induced drama out of my control. It also had more than 48 texts (I counted) from people who were not Bliz or related by blood.
When I finally sat down to process my e-mails (because you know if people can't wait the approximate four minutes for me to return their call and text, by golly! they need to e-mail me too!), I had an e-mail from Luigi. I wasn't in good humor, though I hoped I kept it professional enough. Apparently my Section 8 tenant called in a work order asking to have a new shower door hung--though I don't know why--and, (wait for it....) she wanted to know when I was removing the popcorn ceilings from "her" home.
I have no intention to have the popcorn ceilings scraped. The home in question isn't in a terrible area, but it isn't in the top-notch community either. The homes were built in a time when popcorn ceilings were all the rage. Though I think popcorn ceilings are unsightly under any circumstances, I think someone who can't afford the rent and is living in my home off of the good tax payers can either live with with popcorn ceilings or move out. I am good either way.
And let me also just explain, this particular tenant by the way, has a 2011 Suburban and a 2012 Escalade. When I toured her home a couple of years ago, I found furnishings nicer than mine (which isn't hard to achieve actually) and nicer and much newer appliances. And I should point out, Section 8 pays pittance, so I am not exactly cash-flowing a reasonable sum here.
I haven't heard back from Luigi about my take on this tenant's particular request, but I am guessing I was able to convey enough disapproval to the idea in one e-mail that he probably doesn't need to respond.
In addition to my phone, my texts sported messages from really awesome people like Bliz to some family members, whom I pretty much ignored, who had nothing better to do than contact me about self-induced drama out of my control. It also had more than 48 texts (I counted) from people who were not Bliz or related by blood.
When I finally sat down to process my e-mails (because you know if people can't wait the approximate four minutes for me to return their call and text, by golly! they need to e-mail me too!), I had an e-mail from Luigi. I wasn't in good humor, though I hoped I kept it professional enough. Apparently my Section 8 tenant called in a work order asking to have a new shower door hung--though I don't know why--and, (wait for it....) she wanted to know when I was removing the popcorn ceilings from "her" home.
I have no intention to have the popcorn ceilings scraped. The home in question isn't in a terrible area, but it isn't in the top-notch community either. The homes were built in a time when popcorn ceilings were all the rage. Though I think popcorn ceilings are unsightly under any circumstances, I think someone who can't afford the rent and is living in my home off of the good tax payers can either live with with popcorn ceilings or move out. I am good either way.
And let me also just explain, this particular tenant by the way, has a 2011 Suburban and a 2012 Escalade. When I toured her home a couple of years ago, I found furnishings nicer than mine (which isn't hard to achieve actually) and nicer and much newer appliances. And I should point out, Section 8 pays pittance, so I am not exactly cash-flowing a reasonable sum here.
I haven't heard back from Luigi about my take on this tenant's particular request, but I am guessing I was able to convey enough disapproval to the idea in one e-mail that he probably doesn't need to respond.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Keeping My World in Perspective
Just found this. I love this line: " 'He is making a big to-do because he is being evicted'." Airbnb is a vacation rental site.
A comedian under the impression he had rented out his posh Chelsea pad to a man with family in town for a wedding returned home to a wild orgy, he said.
Ari Teman, 31, claimed he left his apartment keys with David Carter, 32, on Friday night and stepped out for dinner before leaving town.
When he returned to the building to grab his luggage, a rowdy sex party featuring “Big Beautiful Women” was in the process of being shut down by building management.
“This was just so bizarre,” said Teman, who had rented his apartment via the website Airbnb.
“The worst part of the Internet right there was in my apartment.”
“There were all sorts of people walking out of my apartment and people coming in from the back yard. It was a huge mess.”
Teman said his apartment was trashed by a group of nearly nude, overweight people. After the shindig was broken up, Carter was a nervous wreck in the lobby, Teman says.
“This guy had a look of horror on his face,” Teman said. “He didn’t expect to see me for a few days. He said, ‘They shut us down, man, they’re shutting it down.’ ”
Carter, however, claims he just had a small, quiet get-together and that Teman was overreacting.
“I had six people, friends and family,” Carter told The Post. “He is making a big to-do because he is being evicted.”
Carter posted on Airbnb that he wanted a place for his in-laws to stay while they were in town for a wedding, Teman claims. “He had a verified account and he seemed legit,” Teman said. “He had three positive reviews and so I approved the deal.”
When Teman later searched Carter’s phone number on the Internet, he found the raunchy soiree involving plus-size women advertised online as “Turn Up Part 2: The Pantie Raid.”
One person even blasted out Teman’s Seventh Avenue address in a tweet for an “XXX FREAK FEST.”
Carter denied he had anything to do with the ad. “There was no address on the advertisement and I had nothing to with it,” he said.
The professional comedian called police, but no charges were filed. He now claims he wants to move.
“I just don’t want to touch anything in there,” he said. “I threw sheets all over everything.”
Carter claimed that a little partying never hurt anyone.
“I was not arrested. I did nothing wrong,” he said.
Airbnb said in a statement that Carter has been permanently removed from its website and that it will work with law enforcement to get the situation resolved.
Airbnb renter returns to ‘overweight orgy’
A comedian under the impression he had rented out his posh Chelsea pad to a man with family in town for a wedding returned home to a wild orgy, he said.
Ari Teman, 31, claimed he left his apartment keys with David Carter, 32, on Friday night and stepped out for dinner before leaving town.
When he returned to the building to grab his luggage, a rowdy sex party featuring “Big Beautiful Women” was in the process of being shut down by building management.
“This was just so bizarre,” said Teman, who had rented his apartment via the website Airbnb.
“The worst part of the Internet right there was in my apartment.”
“There were all sorts of people walking out of my apartment and people coming in from the back yard. It was a huge mess.”
Teman said his apartment was trashed by a group of nearly nude, overweight people. After the shindig was broken up, Carter was a nervous wreck in the lobby, Teman says.
“This guy had a look of horror on his face,” Teman said. “He didn’t expect to see me for a few days. He said, ‘They shut us down, man, they’re shutting it down.’ ”
Carter, however, claims he just had a small, quiet get-together and that Teman was overreacting.
“I had six people, friends and family,” Carter told The Post. “He is making a big to-do because he is being evicted.”
Carter posted on Airbnb that he wanted a place for his in-laws to stay while they were in town for a wedding, Teman claims. “He had a verified account and he seemed legit,” Teman said. “He had three positive reviews and so I approved the deal.”
When Teman later searched Carter’s phone number on the Internet, he found the raunchy soiree involving plus-size women advertised online as “Turn Up Part 2: The Pantie Raid.”
One person even blasted out Teman’s Seventh Avenue address in a tweet for an “XXX FREAK FEST.”
Carter denied he had anything to do with the ad. “There was no address on the advertisement and I had nothing to with it,” he said.
“I just don’t want to touch anything in there,” he said. “I threw sheets all over everything.”
Carter claimed that a little partying never hurt anyone.
“I was not arrested. I did nothing wrong,” he said.
Airbnb said in a statement that Carter has been permanently removed from its website and that it will work with law enforcement to get the situation resolved.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
A Happy Landlord Story
Mr. Partner is refinancing two homes. I should mention that I have been asking Mr. Partner to do this for years. A few months ago he looked at the interest rate of one of his mortgages and decided it might be worth pursing. This is a home we bought in 2005 and things were a bit different then.
Fast forward to about three weeks ago. The underwriter of these mortgages asked for some very common items, leases, bank statements, tax returns and the like. Most of this paper is kept at my house so I needed to provide it. Which, I did. However, two of the leases: one for Ms. Angie's home and one for Mrs. Sherwood's home have expired. Like years ago. I was absolutely floored when I realized Mrs. Sherwood has been living in this home since 2007.
Anyway, because they are such awesome tenants and rarely call me before 6 a.m. (though Ms. Angie did text me at 4 a.m. my time last week), I haven't really done anything with their leases. This arrangement has worked out fine for all parties involved until the underwriter got hold of everything two weeks ago. At that time she wanted explanations as to why I don't have current leases. She also wanted something in writing showing they were still living in the homes and paying the rent.
Mr. Partner asked me to handle this two weeks ago. I got sidetracked by some personal issues in our lives and completely forgot. However, the ever-diligent Mr. Partner did not forget and reminded me 10 p.m. Sunday night when he told me he needed it first-thing Monday.
Monday morning I left frantic messages for both Ms. Angie and Mrs. Sherwood telling them I needed their help, would they please check their e-mail, sign the letter I wrote for them and get it back to me in record time. I also pathetically explained to their voice mail that: 1) this needed to happen immediately--just in case I hadn't stressed that enough and 2) there was nothing wrong and this would not affect them.
Both of them obliged without batting an eye. In fact, Ms. Angie went so far to call me and I believe she may have asked if I was ok and to tell me the letter she needed to sign should be back in my inbox at that moment. And, if I needed anything else, just say the word. Or at least that is what I gleaned through her extremely thick drawl. Mrs. Sherwood didn't say anything at all. The letter just appeared in my inbox fifteen minutes later. However I did text her and say thank you. I got a quick reply, "You are very welcome."
And this is why these two tenants are not in property management.
Fast forward to about three weeks ago. The underwriter of these mortgages asked for some very common items, leases, bank statements, tax returns and the like. Most of this paper is kept at my house so I needed to provide it. Which, I did. However, two of the leases: one for Ms. Angie's home and one for Mrs. Sherwood's home have expired. Like years ago. I was absolutely floored when I realized Mrs. Sherwood has been living in this home since 2007.
Anyway, because they are such awesome tenants and rarely call me before 6 a.m. (though Ms. Angie did text me at 4 a.m. my time last week), I haven't really done anything with their leases. This arrangement has worked out fine for all parties involved until the underwriter got hold of everything two weeks ago. At that time she wanted explanations as to why I don't have current leases. She also wanted something in writing showing they were still living in the homes and paying the rent.
Mr. Partner asked me to handle this two weeks ago. I got sidetracked by some personal issues in our lives and completely forgot. However, the ever-diligent Mr. Partner did not forget and reminded me 10 p.m. Sunday night when he told me he needed it first-thing Monday.
Monday morning I left frantic messages for both Ms. Angie and Mrs. Sherwood telling them I needed their help, would they please check their e-mail, sign the letter I wrote for them and get it back to me in record time. I also pathetically explained to their voice mail that: 1) this needed to happen immediately--just in case I hadn't stressed that enough and 2) there was nothing wrong and this would not affect them.
Both of them obliged without batting an eye. In fact, Ms. Angie went so far to call me and I believe she may have asked if I was ok and to tell me the letter she needed to sign should be back in my inbox at that moment. And, if I needed anything else, just say the word. Or at least that is what I gleaned through her extremely thick drawl. Mrs. Sherwood didn't say anything at all. The letter just appeared in my inbox fifteen minutes later. However I did text her and say thank you. I got a quick reply, "You are very welcome."
And this is why these two tenants are not in property management.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
My Money is on the Leprechaun
I finally had time to process what I wanted to do with the Grayson Valley house. To back up a teensy bit: in 2007, we bought this house with business partner Jack. Marty Sunshine and I put in half of the down payment. Jack put down the other half. Jack bailed on us about a year ago, not asking for his down payment back or his half of the equity. Nothing. Nada. This bothers me in some ways, but that is for another blog.
Last year (after Jack bailed and we found out he had not managed this place in any way, shape or form and it now had a LOT of deferred maintenance), Marty and I took care of the pressing issues and sunk part of our tax return into making the place the rock star of a house it deserves to be. For that, we were rewarded with top-of-the-market rent. We also refinanced and are now cash flowing a very nice sum every month (Jack refused to refinance). So, the house is now doing what we intended it to do all along.
However, for some reason our tenant wants to buy the house. There was never a conversation with us about selling the home and the first I heard about this was at the end of January when rent was already a month late. So, I don't know if the tenant was told by Kirby's folks last year that we would sell her the home. I don't know if a leprechaun riding on a blue and orange water buffalo came to her in a dream and said she should purchase this home. But now she is hell-bent on buying this place and won't let up.
I am really not ready to sell. I like this house. It is in an appreciating neighborhood. Though we bought at the wrong time, it it worth slightly more than we paid for it. This morning I sent Luigi and his Broker, Ray, an e-mail. I gave them my price--which wasn't realistic. I said if I were to sell it right now, the sale would be as-is, we use Attorney Flip and everyone pays their own costs. I said these terms were not negotiable.
Though that should turn off any reasonable person, I don't want to loose the tenant if they aren't willing to hand over what in March of 2014 would be considered an obscene amount for this home. Crazy as shehas proven may be, she and her husband have good jobs and a vacant home costs me money. So, I offered if the tenant was not in a position to buy it for my price, if they would like to renew when their lease is up, I will offer $200 off their first month's rent as long as someone can do a walk-through on the property and make sure it is still in great condition. The $200 I would be loosing (which is still less than what I am cash flowing) is a small price to pay not to have a vacancy and turn over the property.
Last year (after Jack bailed and we found out he had not managed this place in any way, shape or form and it now had a LOT of deferred maintenance), Marty and I took care of the pressing issues and sunk part of our tax return into making the place the rock star of a house it deserves to be. For that, we were rewarded with top-of-the-market rent. We also refinanced and are now cash flowing a very nice sum every month (Jack refused to refinance). So, the house is now doing what we intended it to do all along.
However, for some reason our tenant wants to buy the house. There was never a conversation with us about selling the home and the first I heard about this was at the end of January when rent was already a month late. So, I don't know if the tenant was told by Kirby's folks last year that we would sell her the home. I don't know if a leprechaun riding on a blue and orange water buffalo came to her in a dream and said she should purchase this home. But now she is hell-bent on buying this place and won't let up.
I am really not ready to sell. I like this house. It is in an appreciating neighborhood. Though we bought at the wrong time, it it worth slightly more than we paid for it. This morning I sent Luigi and his Broker, Ray, an e-mail. I gave them my price--which wasn't realistic. I said if I were to sell it right now, the sale would be as-is, we use Attorney Flip and everyone pays their own costs. I said these terms were not negotiable.
Though that should turn off any reasonable person, I don't want to loose the tenant if they aren't willing to hand over what in March of 2014 would be considered an obscene amount for this home. Crazy as she
Thursday, February 27, 2014
She's Baaacccckkkkkk
Jack--remember him?--has e-mailed me about four times in the past two months. Apparently there is some real estate agent in Birmingham who has a client who wants to buy my Grayson Valley home. The agent had gotten Jack's number because Jack had sold us the home (he was also part owner until he bailed on us last year, but I digress). Would I please just call this guy and get him off Jack's back?
The house in question is very nice. It is red brick, on a golf course and is currently rented by that crazy lady who did not want to pay me rent for two months and managed to find my phone number, call me at work and had me chew her out for being a thief. It is one of my favorites, and though I am still puzzled why Jack jumped ship, Marty and I are doing well with it right now.
I did call the agent Tuesday. Apparently this woman has been calling him non-stop for several months and saying she wanted to buy this home.
"Why this home?" I asked the agent.
He did not know.
"I have a tenant in place right now. It isn't exactly for sale."
It was a rental? That was news to him.
"Is it possible it is the tenant calling you?" I asked.
"No, this woman is black." the agent replied.
Let's all pause, roll our eyes and take a trip back to pre-1964 Birmingham. Shall we?
"Though I have only spoken to her once, I believe my tenant may be African American," I said.
The agent was nonplussed. Looking up her name, he told me her unusual first name was the same as my tenant's unusual first name. The last names were different, but my tenant's middle initial is the same as what this agent had down as a last name. She also in the same type of business as that of my current tenant.
"Is it possible my tenant is calling you asking you and asking you to represent her?"
The agent didn't concede, but thought perhaps he might want a longer conversation with her tomorrow to see what her intentions are. My guess is it is the same sociopath who is up to some different weirdness.
The house in question is very nice. It is red brick, on a golf course and is currently rented by that crazy lady who did not want to pay me rent for two months and managed to find my phone number, call me at work and had me chew her out for being a thief. It is one of my favorites, and though I am still puzzled why Jack jumped ship, Marty and I are doing well with it right now.
I did call the agent Tuesday. Apparently this woman has been calling him non-stop for several months and saying she wanted to buy this home.
"Why this home?" I asked the agent.
He did not know.
"I have a tenant in place right now. It isn't exactly for sale."
It was a rental? That was news to him.
"Is it possible it is the tenant calling you?" I asked.
"No, this woman is black." the agent replied.
Let's all pause, roll our eyes and take a trip back to pre-1964 Birmingham. Shall we?
"Though I have only spoken to her once, I believe my tenant may be African American," I said.
The agent was nonplussed. Looking up her name, he told me her unusual first name was the same as my tenant's unusual first name. The last names were different, but my tenant's middle initial is the same as what this agent had down as a last name. She also in the same type of business as that of my current tenant.
"Is it possible my tenant is calling you asking you and asking you to represent her?"
The agent didn't concede, but thought perhaps he might want a longer conversation with her tomorrow to see what her intentions are. My guess is it is the same sociopath who is up to some different weirdness.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
The Chalkville House
Last week I had a spat with Daisy about my home in Chalkville. It had been vacant since Mr. and Mrs. Green left months ago. Daisy had finally gotten in rented at more than $230 less than I have ever rented it for in all the years I have had this home. Also, she took a Section 8 tenant.
As we all know, there is nothing in this world as desperate as a landlord with a vacant home. And, given I wanted to have this home rented so badly, Daisy was floored by my lack of gratitude. When I explained to her that I didn't want a Section 8 tenant--especially one who would be living there for so little, Daisy's reply was that next year when the tenant moves out I can re-rent it for "my" price. And besides! Luigi's fees are less than Kirby's so, the difference should be negligible.
First, Section 8 tenants don't move. They stay. If the tenant does leave for some strange reason, I have yet to see a Section 8 home that was in good shape once the tenant left. I currently have a Section 8 home right now, and I am here to tell you, I don't expect it to be stellar when I get it back. It was a different time when I agreed to this. For now, it works. But I am not happy about it.
The government doesn't pay much for Section 8 tenants, but the catch is they do pay. Every month a check comes in to the owners. I don't hear excuses like the light bill was too high and that is why I am not seeing a drop of rent. What HUD does pay depends upon the tenant's voucher, which is based on several factors including if the tenant has a job, the number of kids and other variables. In return, the Section 8 authority wants an inspection once a year to prove I am not a slum lord. They will insist upon minor repairs that most of us can just live with when push comes to shove.
Daisy's last comment was probably the most inconsiderate and gave a clear pictures of what she thought of my money. This house is one Marty Sunshine and I own without a partner. It had never been in property management before so there had never been property management fees prior. But more important, it shouldn't matter. What I pay in property management fees is not her business and should not be taken into account, nor should my concerns be dismissed because "I am paying less" for property management fees.
When I asked Daisy to contact me to discuss how I could get out of having this tenant, she didn't return my calls. Last Wednesday afternoon, I had a stroke of brilliance. I called Luigi and asked for a reality check. Could I get more money for this home or was this new tenant--even on Section 8--paying market rate for rent. Luigi looked over the home. His assistant Amy looked over the home. Both told me it was one of the nicest in the area (I thought as much) except that the exterior needs to be desperately painted (I thought as much too). However, they saw no reason why I had to settle for so little money.
Before the Section 8 tenant moved in, I asked them to put the home back on the market and withdraw the tenant's application. I was willing to gamble on a higher rent than a sure thing. I held my breath, knowing I was down to the dregs in my bank account to keep supporting this home.
Today Luigi called me. He had two tenants fighting over the place. Neither had pets. Both sets of tenants had ties to the area, were stable in their jobs and could afford to pay their own way. It was a happy problem. The tenant who reigned victorious has already put in their deposit and is moving in next week. And I am getting for rent what I expected to get all along.
As we all know, there is nothing in this world as desperate as a landlord with a vacant home. And, given I wanted to have this home rented so badly, Daisy was floored by my lack of gratitude. When I explained to her that I didn't want a Section 8 tenant--especially one who would be living there for so little, Daisy's reply was that next year when the tenant moves out I can re-rent it for "my" price. And besides! Luigi's fees are less than Kirby's so, the difference should be negligible.
First, Section 8 tenants don't move. They stay. If the tenant does leave for some strange reason, I have yet to see a Section 8 home that was in good shape once the tenant left. I currently have a Section 8 home right now, and I am here to tell you, I don't expect it to be stellar when I get it back. It was a different time when I agreed to this. For now, it works. But I am not happy about it.
The government doesn't pay much for Section 8 tenants, but the catch is they do pay. Every month a check comes in to the owners. I don't hear excuses like the light bill was too high and that is why I am not seeing a drop of rent. What HUD does pay depends upon the tenant's voucher, which is based on several factors including if the tenant has a job, the number of kids and other variables. In return, the Section 8 authority wants an inspection once a year to prove I am not a slum lord. They will insist upon minor repairs that most of us can just live with when push comes to shove.
Daisy's last comment was probably the most inconsiderate and gave a clear pictures of what she thought of my money. This house is one Marty Sunshine and I own without a partner. It had never been in property management before so there had never been property management fees prior. But more important, it shouldn't matter. What I pay in property management fees is not her business and should not be taken into account, nor should my concerns be dismissed because "I am paying less" for property management fees.
When I asked Daisy to contact me to discuss how I could get out of having this tenant, she didn't return my calls. Last Wednesday afternoon, I had a stroke of brilliance. I called Luigi and asked for a reality check. Could I get more money for this home or was this new tenant--even on Section 8--paying market rate for rent. Luigi looked over the home. His assistant Amy looked over the home. Both told me it was one of the nicest in the area (I thought as much) except that the exterior needs to be desperately painted (I thought as much too). However, they saw no reason why I had to settle for so little money.
Before the Section 8 tenant moved in, I asked them to put the home back on the market and withdraw the tenant's application. I was willing to gamble on a higher rent than a sure thing. I held my breath, knowing I was down to the dregs in my bank account to keep supporting this home.
Today Luigi called me. He had two tenants fighting over the place. Neither had pets. Both sets of tenants had ties to the area, were stable in their jobs and could afford to pay their own way. It was a happy problem. The tenant who reigned victorious has already put in their deposit and is moving in next week. And I am getting for rent what I expected to get all along.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Dazzling With Brilliance
In an effort to keep Mr. Partner off my back appease Mr. Partner's diligent pursuit of information, I am working with Bliz to get the taxes done. Mr. Partner doesn't just want his K-1 statement that the IRS lovingly requires and Diamond Jim will once again prepare. He wants bank statements, a 2014 P&L statement and all sorts of other gobbledygook to clog his inbox.
Though he is really a great person (really!) I actually suspect he can't actually read financial statements. This theory has been postulated by me after Mr. Partner has repeatedly asked over the past ten years basic questions any business owner should know. Like what is a P&L statement? And, I recommend not getting him started what a balance sheet happens to be and why owner's equity is a negative number.
Anyway, this weekend I sent Mr. Partner the first installment of documents that he will either oooh and ahhh over, ask Marty Sunshine a million questions about (he wouldn't dare ask me) and Marty will patiently explain again that whatever number he sees in the bank account does not equal how much money we have to our name (we pay bills with that money). Or, hopefully he will just be so overwhelmed with my e-mails, as I tend to send them in strategically timed batches, that he will set it all aside and forget about them.
And speaking of dazzling, might you remember, last December Bliz, on my behalf (I was traveling through the swampland at the time), wrote a letter to Mario saying my gazillion homes Kirby was managing weren't going to Mario. They were going to the new property management company.
Ever since then, Mario has had his A-Game on. If I ask a question, I get an answer within 24 hours. If he and his minions had shown this level of service at all in the past two years, I might have made other choices.
Though he is really a great person (really!) I actually suspect he can't actually read financial statements. This theory has been postulated by me after Mr. Partner has repeatedly asked over the past ten years basic questions any business owner should know. Like what is a P&L statement? And, I recommend not getting him started what a balance sheet happens to be and why owner's equity is a negative number.
Anyway, this weekend I sent Mr. Partner the first installment of documents that he will either oooh and ahhh over, ask Marty Sunshine a million questions about (he wouldn't dare ask me) and Marty will patiently explain again that whatever number he sees in the bank account does not equal how much money we have to our name (we pay bills with that money). Or, hopefully he will just be so overwhelmed with my e-mails, as I tend to send them in strategically timed batches, that he will set it all aside and forget about them.
____________________
And speaking of dazzling, might you remember, last December Bliz, on my behalf (I was traveling through the swampland at the time), wrote a letter to Mario saying my gazillion homes Kirby was managing weren't going to Mario. They were going to the new property management company.
Ever since then, Mario has had his A-Game on. If I ask a question, I get an answer within 24 hours. If he and his minions had shown this level of service at all in the past two years, I might have made other choices.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Does Amazon Sell Babble Fish?
One of the hardest issues I have had about doing business in the South is that the folks there continuously complain about my thick Northern accent.
Yes, really.
Actually, if truth be told, I have an even harder time with their Southern drawl. I bring this up because the language barrier darn near caused me a major stroke after a long list of other minor strokes this week.
It turns out, I don't have a trashed house. I have a house with trash in it. Lots and lots of trash. Not that it makes me any happier to know this. But my house isn't destroyed. It just needs to be cleaned up. There are thousands of dollars in difference between a "trashed house" and a "house with trash in it."
Yes, really.
Actually, if truth be told, I have an even harder time with their Southern drawl. I bring this up because the language barrier darn near caused me a major stroke after a long list of other minor strokes this week.
It turns out, I don't have a trashed house. I have a house with trash in it. Lots and lots of trash. Not that it makes me any happier to know this. But my house isn't destroyed. It just needs to be cleaned up. There are thousands of dollars in difference between a "trashed house" and a "house with trash in it."
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Saving the Cell Minutes
My week ended with the following e-mail. Amy is another leasing agent at the new property management company's office. To his credit, Luigi e-mailed me back and gave me a partial solution. But I suspect I won't know more about my trashed house until Monday.
Hi Luigi,
I spoke with Ms. Amy and asked her to have you call me. I have changed my mind. Neither of us need to use our cell minutes on me ranting to you like a crazed lunatic and you saying whatever it is you normally say to furiously raving owners.
I am sure you are working this on your end. When you have solutions or a future game plan for this home, please be in touch.
Thanks,
Mrs. Landlord
Friday, February 21, 2014
Sucker Punched
I found out Thursday I have a home that has been trashed. My favorite home. Investors aren't supposed to have favorites, but I do.
I am too numb to be angry. It is compounded on to a long list of garbage that has defined my Alabama experience this month. I intend to blog more about it. But right now it might become legal and I know it is best to wait and let time soothe me.
I still don't know when I am flying to Birmingham. I was hoping I could put it off until the summer--which would be more ideal than going in a few weeks. But now I am not so sure. Experience tells me this will all work out and I won't have to raise hell and make promises that involve the Department of Real Estate and the Alabama Attorney General's Office. Or, I should say that wisdom tells me how sane people would handle this. I am hoping the person I have cleaning this up is handling it my way. If not, I may no longer be numb.
I am too numb to be angry. It is compounded on to a long list of garbage that has defined my Alabama experience this month. I intend to blog more about it. But right now it might become legal and I know it is best to wait and let time soothe me.
I still don't know when I am flying to Birmingham. I was hoping I could put it off until the summer--which would be more ideal than going in a few weeks. But now I am not so sure. Experience tells me this will all work out and I won't have to raise hell and make promises that involve the Department of Real Estate and the Alabama Attorney General's Office. Or, I should say that wisdom tells me how sane people would handle this. I am hoping the person I have cleaning this up is handling it my way. If not, I may no longer be numb.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
The Great Calera Flood Aftermath
They house on Hysteria Lane in Calera now has a kitchen sink and dry walls and floors. The plumber is going on an around the world cruise. The tenant is still pissy that I am not compensating her for her inconvenience (that she caused. Did I mention she caused this and could have prevented it?). Insurance and I have squared up.
And, because I had pipes in four different homes burst, there is a new clause in all of my future leases from here to the end of time--and I don't care where you live, fee free to steal the concept. The wording is still a bit off. I have no idea if it will hold up in court, but I am hoping it will at least open up a few eyes. "Tenants are responsible for any damage done to the home caused by a water pipe breaking because of cold weather."
And, because I had pipes in four different homes burst, there is a new clause in all of my future leases from here to the end of time--and I don't care where you live, fee free to steal the concept. The wording is still a bit off. I have no idea if it will hold up in court, but I am hoping it will at least open up a few eyes. "Tenants are responsible for any damage done to the home caused by a water pipe breaking because of cold weather."
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Great News
It appears my tenant in Grayson Valley has paid in full. And even better! She hasn't called me.
According to Luigi, she is now asking if she can buy the house. I don't know if I want to sell the house right now. It is worth about what we paid for it. It cash flows pretty well. But if we don't sell it, it will all likelihood be vacant when thiscrazy tenant's lease is up.
According to Luigi, she is now asking if she can buy the house. I don't know if I want to sell the house right now. It is worth about what we paid for it. It cash flows pretty well. But if we don't sell it, it will all likelihood be vacant when this
Sunday, February 16, 2014
I Speak For Real Estate Professionals Everywhere When I Say...
Please know, Zillow is not always accurate. It is a Web site that gives false expectations to buyers and sellers and make agents look like idiots--even though we are usually correct and Zillow rarely is.
I am amazed at the number of people--people who actually talk with me for hours on end--who tell me I am credible until I tell them what their home is worth or what they should pay for the home they wish to buy. Then I am a half-baked snake oil saleswoman and know utterly nothing about the real estate industry.
Why? Because some anonymous Web site says otherwise.
And how was your day?
I am amazed at the number of people--people who actually talk with me for hours on end--who tell me I am credible until I tell them what their home is worth or what they should pay for the home they wish to buy. Then I am a half-baked snake oil saleswoman and know utterly nothing about the real estate industry.
Why? Because some anonymous Web site says otherwise.
And how was your day?
Friday, February 14, 2014
Sociopaths Rn't Us
It is 24 hours later, cooler heads are prevailing and I have to tell you, my dear three readers, I feel as justified today in telling off that woman as I did yesterday. I am not a lose-my-cool with perfect strangers kind of girl. Generally I like to please and make everyone happy. But make no mistake: I have a backbone. That said, for the most part, I don't start phone conversations with perfect strangers by biting their heads off. It just isn't dignified.
After she talked to me, apparently the tenant called Daisy three times last night as well. She never mentioned once to Daisy that she called me in the afternoon. I find that odd. Daisy and I talked about it for a bit. The tenant is up to some weird game or has some strong need to be right or she feels, after living in my home hassle-free for several months, somehow justified in withholding the rent. None of those are logical, sane actions under the circumstances.
The biggest reason I feel like the tenant is playing a game is because my name is not on the title of the home--and the tenant looked up the title to find Marty Sunshine's name. That's how this whole thing started. She wanted to buy the home and found out that Daisy didn't own it, and mind you, Daisy never claimed to. And just for the record, there has been no conversation with us about selling this home.
However, when the tenant and I talked yesterday she never once asked who Marty Sunshine was, if I was married to him or what relationship I might have to him. She brought up a lot of extraneous fluff, but if her real issue--the one she has been bitching about for weeks to anyone in Birmingham who would listen--is that she wants to verify who owns the house before she pays us any more money, a sane thinking person would draw the conclusion that this one factor should have mattered to her if she was taking the time to call me. Yesterday it didn't matter to her.
Daisy and I have a bet going that this woman is skipping this weekend. I predict a Uhaul in her driveway tomorrow morning. I won't know if I am right until next week some time. I did tell Daisy to just start the eviction ball rolling. If they pay up (including late fees, process server fees, etc.), that's awesome. Then they can stay. If not, it is probably best to get rid of this sociopath sooner than later anyway.
After she talked to me, apparently the tenant called Daisy three times last night as well. She never mentioned once to Daisy that she called me in the afternoon. I find that odd. Daisy and I talked about it for a bit. The tenant is up to some weird game or has some strong need to be right or she feels, after living in my home hassle-free for several months, somehow justified in withholding the rent. None of those are logical, sane actions under the circumstances.
The biggest reason I feel like the tenant is playing a game is because my name is not on the title of the home--and the tenant looked up the title to find Marty Sunshine's name. That's how this whole thing started. She wanted to buy the home and found out that Daisy didn't own it, and mind you, Daisy never claimed to. And just for the record, there has been no conversation with us about selling this home.
However, when the tenant and I talked yesterday she never once asked who Marty Sunshine was, if I was married to him or what relationship I might have to him. She brought up a lot of extraneous fluff, but if her real issue--the one she has been bitching about for weeks to anyone in Birmingham who would listen--is that she wants to verify who owns the house before she pays us any more money, a sane thinking person would draw the conclusion that this one factor should have mattered to her if she was taking the time to call me. Yesterday it didn't matter to her.
Daisy and I have a bet going that this woman is skipping this weekend. I predict a Uhaul in her driveway tomorrow morning. I won't know if I am right until next week some time. I did tell Daisy to just start the eviction ball rolling. If they pay up (including late fees, process server fees, etc.), that's awesome. Then they can stay. If not, it is probably best to get rid of this sociopath sooner than later anyway.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Sins of Tenants' Past
To give you an idea of how things are going, I just found out today is Thursday and a client gently reminded me tomorrow is Valentine's Day and no, they would not be interested in looking for homes tomorrow if that was ok with me. And didn't I have someone special to share Valentine's Day with instead of with them?
I got home at 7:15 tonight, which is the earliest I have been home all week. Today I was only gone 12 and a half hours--a short day. I have lost four pounds this week alone because my car is not equipped with a refrigerator, though I have been carrying an ice chest of water in there for the past week. The kids' homeschooling lessons are consisting of art projects, Netflix documentaries and Minecraft. I am not whining. I am sharing with you a glimpse into my life.
Why is this going on? Because some woman in my home in Grayson Valley has decided she isn't going to pay the rent because the property management company doesn't own the house. Therefore as far as she is concerned, she doesn't have to pay (It still sounds stupid no matter how many times I say it). Though I thought this was resolved yesterday, it doesn't change two realities: 1) the mortgage is still due and 2) I haven't seen the rent money.
And, I am guessing after today I won't. You see, while slipping away for a sandwich today, my cell phone rang. It was my office and I quickly answered it figuring I was being asked some sort of innocuous question. Instead, the woman on the other end started asking me if I actually owed the home in Grayson Valley. After a few intrusive questions I refused to answer, I asked her who she was. She gave me her first name and then started asking me more intrusive questions. Finally, putting two and two together, I realized she was the tenant.
Her main question--which she asked and I answered no less than seven times--was did I own the house. Yes I do.
I countered every single time with where is the rent?
To be honest, I was unnerved that this stranger had found me and my place of employment. She knew who I was and where I worked. I realize that one can Google just about anything, but she made no apologies for doing so.
Instead, she kept saying she was unaware the property management company had changed hands. I pointed out I knew for a fact she had talked to Mario early on and he told her to call Daisy. And by the way, I knew she talked to Daisy too. She was visibly startled when I shared this with her. And by the way, where was my rent money?
She told me nobody had told her where to send the rent. I countered back with yes they did. And she had been told several times and she had been given five copies of her lease in the past few weeks. And furthermore, why didn't this become such an issue six weeks into the new property management changeover? And if it was really that big a deal, why didn't she address it the day her rent was originally due--which was January 1st.
She asked again if I was the owner. I told her I knew she checked the tax records because she had told Daisy she had done so. I also pointed out I had already answered that question, so pay or pack her stuff because she was a thief.
She said that being a "thief" was my "interpretation" and she was coming to me in "good faith." I explained it will be the court's interpretation too and she might want to look up the definition of "good faith" because she was two month's behind on the rent.
This went on for way too long with me getting angrier and angrier, not just at her but all of the others who have played this game before her. As she blathered on, the sins of tenant's past danced in my head, sounding just like this nutjob who was innocently suggesting her inability to pay rent is somehow my fault. I know this playbook.
This woman's twist to an old shtick was to go so far as to seek me out, intruding on my life. She violated my boundaries. I have enough experience to know this relationship will never get better. She needs to go.
As soon as she accused me of being belligerent, suggesting she was perfectly normal--given she had just taken time to find a perfect stranger 1,700 miles away at her job--I seethed, "You are a thief. You are the reason I am away from my family today. Pay up or get out of my house. I will sue you. I will garnish your wages and your husband's wages. I will evict you and put a judgement on your credit." And I hung up on her.
Though no longer furious, I am still shaken from such an intrusion. I honestly cannot tell you what this woman really wants from me. I called Daisy afterwards to let her know this woman contacted me and to call the lawyer. Let's get this party started. Apparently Daisy had hung up on her earlier in the day. My guess is she is moving and now she will blame it on me being unreasonable. That's ok. I am better off with her gone than any other nuttiness she might fling my way.
I got home at 7:15 tonight, which is the earliest I have been home all week. Today I was only gone 12 and a half hours--a short day. I have lost four pounds this week alone because my car is not equipped with a refrigerator, though I have been carrying an ice chest of water in there for the past week. The kids' homeschooling lessons are consisting of art projects, Netflix documentaries and Minecraft. I am not whining. I am sharing with you a glimpse into my life.
Why is this going on? Because some woman in my home in Grayson Valley has decided she isn't going to pay the rent because the property management company doesn't own the house. Therefore as far as she is concerned, she doesn't have to pay (It still sounds stupid no matter how many times I say it). Though I thought this was resolved yesterday, it doesn't change two realities: 1) the mortgage is still due and 2) I haven't seen the rent money.
And, I am guessing after today I won't. You see, while slipping away for a sandwich today, my cell phone rang. It was my office and I quickly answered it figuring I was being asked some sort of innocuous question. Instead, the woman on the other end started asking me if I actually owed the home in Grayson Valley. After a few intrusive questions I refused to answer, I asked her who she was. She gave me her first name and then started asking me more intrusive questions. Finally, putting two and two together, I realized she was the tenant.
Her main question--which she asked and I answered no less than seven times--was did I own the house. Yes I do.
I countered every single time with where is the rent?
To be honest, I was unnerved that this stranger had found me and my place of employment. She knew who I was and where I worked. I realize that one can Google just about anything, but she made no apologies for doing so.
Instead, she kept saying she was unaware the property management company had changed hands. I pointed out I knew for a fact she had talked to Mario early on and he told her to call Daisy. And by the way, I knew she talked to Daisy too. She was visibly startled when I shared this with her. And by the way, where was my rent money?
She told me nobody had told her where to send the rent. I countered back with yes they did. And she had been told several times and she had been given five copies of her lease in the past few weeks. And furthermore, why didn't this become such an issue six weeks into the new property management changeover? And if it was really that big a deal, why didn't she address it the day her rent was originally due--which was January 1st.
She asked again if I was the owner. I told her I knew she checked the tax records because she had told Daisy she had done so. I also pointed out I had already answered that question, so pay or pack her stuff because she was a thief.
She said that being a "thief" was my "interpretation" and she was coming to me in "good faith." I explained it will be the court's interpretation too and she might want to look up the definition of "good faith" because she was two month's behind on the rent.
This went on for way too long with me getting angrier and angrier, not just at her but all of the others who have played this game before her. As she blathered on, the sins of tenant's past danced in my head, sounding just like this nutjob who was innocently suggesting her inability to pay rent is somehow my fault. I know this playbook.
This woman's twist to an old shtick was to go so far as to seek me out, intruding on my life. She violated my boundaries. I have enough experience to know this relationship will never get better. She needs to go.
As soon as she accused me of being belligerent, suggesting she was perfectly normal--given she had just taken time to find a perfect stranger 1,700 miles away at her job--I seethed, "You are a thief. You are the reason I am away from my family today. Pay up or get out of my house. I will sue you. I will garnish your wages and your husband's wages. I will evict you and put a judgement on your credit." And I hung up on her.
Though no longer furious, I am still shaken from such an intrusion. I honestly cannot tell you what this woman really wants from me. I called Daisy afterwards to let her know this woman contacted me and to call the lawyer. Let's get this party started. Apparently Daisy had hung up on her earlier in the day. My guess is she is moving and now she will blame it on me being unreasonable. That's ok. I am better off with her gone than any other nuttiness she might fling my way.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
"Mean" Is My Middle Name
It appears the folks in Grayson Valley have decided they want to stay. This came about when a process server kindly showed up at the Mrs.' job and gave her a special letter from me saying, "Pay up or get your stuff out of my house."
Though there are people who felt having this notice served at her work was mean, let me remind you: 1) I am an Aries. 2) This woman owes me rent and I knew where it would be convenient to find her. After all, I have to pay the process server, why make him work extra-hard. And by the way, the tenants are reimbursing me for the process server fee too. So, I just saved the tenant an extra $100 for not having the process server work nights and weekends. In essence, they should be thanking me.
I am told that the tenant was utterly shocked that I would take such extreme measures and after all, wasn't this a minor misunderstanding? The "misunderstanding" being she was refusing to pay the rent because Daisy's company did not own my home. They were only managing it and hence, she didn't owe them money. To her credit, the tenant apologized for her portion of this issue and hoped we could make amends. I believe she was waiting for similar words from Daisy, but I doubt they came--at least they shouldn't have.
All of this is allegedly going to be resolved by February 19 and she will be current by then. I am proceeding like I am evicting and calling an attorney on February 20th if she hasn't paid up.
Though there are people who felt having this notice served at her work was mean, let me remind you: 1) I am an Aries. 2) This woman owes me rent and I knew where it would be convenient to find her. After all, I have to pay the process server, why make him work extra-hard. And by the way, the tenants are reimbursing me for the process server fee too. So, I just saved the tenant an extra $100 for not having the process server work nights and weekends. In essence, they should be thanking me.
I am told that the tenant was utterly shocked that I would take such extreme measures and after all, wasn't this a minor misunderstanding? The "misunderstanding" being she was refusing to pay the rent because Daisy's company did not own my home. They were only managing it and hence, she didn't owe them money. To her credit, the tenant apologized for her portion of this issue and hoped we could make amends. I believe she was waiting for similar words from Daisy, but I doubt they came--at least they shouldn't have.
All of this is allegedly going to be resolved by February 19 and she will be current by then. I am proceeding like I am evicting and calling an attorney on February 20th if she hasn't paid up.
Thursday, February 06, 2014
Consider THIS Your Notice
The reason I have property management companies taking care of my gazillion rental homes is so that I don't have to be intimately involved. DO YOU HEAR THAT MARIO, DAISY AND LUIGI????
Apparently they didn't.
This week has been one of those weeks that make me question why I give a percentage of my rental income to these folks. In fact, in the past four days, the drama has gotten intense enough that even Marty Sunshine is taking it upon himself to randomly say things like, "You know, you probably do need to book a ticket..." At which point I give him a dirty look and then my phone lights up with texts and phone calls from Birmingham and I provide some colorful commentary to my buzzing phone.
One of the biggest (but not THE biggest) issues this week has been the flood in my home in Calera that Mario and his minion, Bruce, manage. The flood was caused by a tenant who did not open the tap as the pipes thawed, and therefore the pipes exploded. I should also say the tenant in question teaches middle school science. Surely the science common core covers water expanding and contracting.
The tenant is also furious with me for not giving her money for her inconvenience. An inconvenience she caused. Apparently she has had a lot to say about me, my lineage and abilities to manage my home based on the fact I am not forking over a sizable amount of loot to make her forget that he kitchen is in disarray. Mind you, she has water now. But apparently the cabinetry is away from the wall and everything needs to dry out.
Did I mention the tenant caused this issue? Please don't forget that.
Just like everything in the South, the insurance adjuster is taking his sweet time getting this resolved. Today (Thursday), a week after the Great Calera Flood began, I heard from from him and then ten minutes later, I heard from Bruce. Apparently Bruce didn't have time today to meet the adjuster out at the house but he wanted me to know that it wasn't a problem. He would just have the tenant meet the adjuster instead. "Its all covered." Bruce said happily.
I wasn't impressed. "Just so I understand this, you are letting the tenant--who is extremely upset with me--meet the insurance adjuster without a chaperone?" I asked Bruce. "Does that sound like a good plan to you?"
Bruce,who really does seem like a nice guy, even if he is always acting afraid of me, stammered for a moment, assuring me it was fine. "What could go wrong?" He asked.
Plenty. How do we know the tenant will tell the truth? How do we know the tenant won't take it upon herself to tell the adjuster that something caused by the flood was "always broken"? And I gave Bruce a few other scenarios that came to mind. In the end, Bruce was back-pedaling, suggesting the adjuster probably could just wait until next week to see the house when Bruce was available.
"You know, when I come to town I will want to see the house," I said.
And that's when Bruce lost it. Going a full octave higher, he said, "You are coming to town?! You have to give me notice when you are doing that!"
As sweetly as possible, I explained to Bruce that I come to town often, and it really is no big deal. And of course I will let him know when I come.
However, Bruce could not be calmed. He continued to stammer about how I had to give him notice. And I couldn't "just show up," and went along in this vein for more of my cell minutes than I expected. To get the poor guy off the phone, I did promise him I would let him know, and I also told him I had no intention of meeting the tenant--who apparently hates me anyway. He agreed it would be a good idea not to let on I own the home when we inspect it. But, he added with all the authority he could muster in the end, "you must give us notice."
Sunday, February 02, 2014
Loopholes
Friday morning I was questioning why it was traditional to wait until later in the day to drink. Who came up with that rule anyway?
On top of the Great Calera Flood, I also had another doosy in North Birmingham. Apparently the tenant--who had been happily living at my home in Grayson Valley for more than 10 months--snapped.
You see, she has not paid January's rent. Nor will she agree to pay January's rent. And though she had paid her rent for the past ten months to a property management company, that wasn't going to happen any longer. According to the tenant, she had looked up the tax records, found Marty Sunshine's name as the owner of the home and decided that since Daisy's company wasn't named "Marty Sunshine" she summarily decided she no longer had to pay rent.
I will pause for a moment while you let that sink in, because it sounds stupider to me every time I see it too.
My first thought was simply the tenant doesn't have the rent. After all, she has been paying rent to a property management company since she moved in. Somehow Mario got involved this week and told her she needed to pay Daisy's company and yes, she owed the money.
The tenant also bawled out Daisy about the property management changeover a month earlier (which didn't bother the tenant until Friday) and complained about how nobody kept her in the loop (not true--she received about five letters from various parties--at least two of them were certified letters). Mind you she did this on the 31st day of the month, when rent is due on the first. So, essentially she is 30 days late and now squawking.
Nope, she doesn't have the rent.
There seems to be no convincing her that rent is owed and she has a contract--just like she did when she moved in. Daisy wanted to know what course of action I wanted to take. And mind you, Friday I was dealing with day four of a flu and insurance adjusters. My patience at an all-time low, I told Daisy exactly what she could do. If the rent was not in her office by Monday, tell them they have till Saturday to get their belongings out of I will evict. And then start the process on Tuesday morning anyway. That will make them move a lot faster on Saturday. And oh yes, please serve the tenant at her office.
I had years of crazy stuff like this. In fact, these crazies are the reason I have property management companies. I am not about to put up with this any longer than I have to. I know the game and I am not going to play.
On top of the Great Calera Flood, I also had another doosy in North Birmingham. Apparently the tenant--who had been happily living at my home in Grayson Valley for more than 10 months--snapped.
You see, she has not paid January's rent. Nor will she agree to pay January's rent. And though she had paid her rent for the past ten months to a property management company, that wasn't going to happen any longer. According to the tenant, she had looked up the tax records, found Marty Sunshine's name as the owner of the home and decided that since Daisy's company wasn't named "Marty Sunshine" she summarily decided she no longer had to pay rent.
I will pause for a moment while you let that sink in, because it sounds stupider to me every time I see it too.
My first thought was simply the tenant doesn't have the rent. After all, she has been paying rent to a property management company since she moved in. Somehow Mario got involved this week and told her she needed to pay Daisy's company and yes, she owed the money.
The tenant also bawled out Daisy about the property management changeover a month earlier (which didn't bother the tenant until Friday) and complained about how nobody kept her in the loop (not true--she received about five letters from various parties--at least two of them were certified letters). Mind you she did this on the 31st day of the month, when rent is due on the first. So, essentially she is 30 days late and now squawking.
Nope, she doesn't have the rent.
There seems to be no convincing her that rent is owed and she has a contract--just like she did when she moved in. Daisy wanted to know what course of action I wanted to take. And mind you, Friday I was dealing with day four of a flu and insurance adjusters. My patience at an all-time low, I told Daisy exactly what she could do. If the rent was not in her office by Monday, tell them they have till Saturday to get their belongings out of I will evict. And then start the process on Tuesday morning anyway. That will make them move a lot faster on Saturday. And oh yes, please serve the tenant at her office.
I had years of crazy stuff like this. In fact, these crazies are the reason I have property management companies. I am not about to put up with this any longer than I have to. I know the game and I am not going to play.
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