I got clarification on the new Maintenance hierarchy at the property management company. Flunky has been demoted to "Owner Coordinator" which means I still have to deal with him.
Fabio--whom Carolsue tells me is "totally hot"--is the new Maintenance Manager. His job is two-fold: he is to negotiate the best prices on the work and he is to do quality control over the vendors to make sure the work is done properly.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
The Landlord Who Stole Christmas
To be quite honest, my hissy fit at the property management company last Friday was a consciously timed decision. My thought was pay up give 30 day move notices, which would put the offending deadbeats on the street (or probably moving) right before Christmas. And in my passive-aggressive Aries head, I was perfectly fine with this arrangement.
I should also state, that Willy, who is my main contact at the property management company, is not the person who has been collecting the rents, but then again, nobody has. But really, but in this case it is not Willy's department that deals with rent collection. So, my scathing conversation with him last week should have been at someone else--though I'm not sure who. Meanwhile, I have now been passed to Ms. Amy. I suspect I was passed to her because, either she was the one taking the partial payments, she drew the short straw or she felt brave enough to deal with me. Or all of the above. I have always liked Ms. Amy best at that company, so that works for me.
Back to my dilemma at hand. I have three tenants--all of them renting the three properties Marty Sunshine and I own without any partners--who seem to feel I am running a homeless shelter. In fact, they repeatedly pay late with no consequence. Of the three tenants, two of them are on month-to-month leases and can be given a 30 day notice at any time to haul their butts somewhere else, hence I waited until last week to stir up trouble.
My first stop in my tirade was to go after the the home (month to month) where the professional football player is living. I was pretty sure his girlfriend didn't want to move herself to an new home during his prime working season. By the way, she paid in full last Friday and has stated paying late will no longer be an issue. My tenant in Fultondale managed to pay a sizable payment this month, and their particular mortgage is the least expensive, so I will work on them in later.
However, Mrs. Martin (who is in a lease), has some zen payment schedule only known to her. Not only does she pay when she wants, she pays what she wants. For example, she was under the mistaken impression November's rent was only $150 and nothing else would be necessary for me to be a happy owner. If this were the first time she had played this game, I might have been sympathetic, but no. Frankly, Buckaroo turned 13 seven weeks ago and our weekly grocery bill has tripled since.
Anyway, Monday I found out Mrs. Martin got the message: pay up or leave. So, she wrote Ms. Amy an e-mail with a sob story. At the end of the very long list of excuses, she said she is more than happy to make payment arrangements by December 5 (a Saturday, mind you) and the rest--and I am not making this up--sometime "after Christmas." Ms. Amy asked if I was ok with this arrangement. Oh yes, lest I forget, Mrs. Martin also said the reason she is normally late is she gets her first paycheck of the month on the 16th. (I'm guessing the particular paycheck this month was only for $150.)
First, I was not ok with this arrangement. There was nothing in her e-mail that said she would pay by December 5, just that she would make arrangements. Second of all, there are a lot of days between "After Christmas 2015" and "After some random Christmas later in life."
After a bit of back and forth, here is what I finally agreed upon. She can pay the entire balance of what is owed to me in back rent by close of business December 4, 2015 (notice I added the year). I will not accept a penny less. Nor will I accept the payment on December 7, 2015 at 8:01 a.m. Legalowl is standing by and ready to evict and garnish her wages on December 7.
Additionally, she is not waiting until sometime after Christmas to pay December's rent. She is not going to go out and spend a bunch of money that is contractually owed to me on do-dads for her grandchildren and friends and then expect me to be understanding. No. She will have December's rent paid in full--along with late fees--by December 17. If she doesn't, please see the last sentence in the above paragraph.
I also told Ms. Amy, "From this point forward, rent will not be accepted if she pays after the fifth of any future month. Nor will it be accepted if it is one penny less than what she owes. No more deals. No more negotiating. This is her one and only chance. Merry Christmas to her."
This apparently was conveyed to Mrs. Martin (though I am sure Ms. Amy was a bit more polite). Mrs. Martin came back and said she would "break her back" to make sure rent was on time from now on. She didn't want to move.
I should also state, that Willy, who is my main contact at the property management company, is not the person who has been collecting the rents, but then again, nobody has. But really, but in this case it is not Willy's department that deals with rent collection. So, my scathing conversation with him last week should have been at someone else--though I'm not sure who. Meanwhile, I have now been passed to Ms. Amy. I suspect I was passed to her because, either she was the one taking the partial payments, she drew the short straw or she felt brave enough to deal with me. Or all of the above. I have always liked Ms. Amy best at that company, so that works for me.
Back to my dilemma at hand. I have three tenants--all of them renting the three properties Marty Sunshine and I own without any partners--who seem to feel I am running a homeless shelter. In fact, they repeatedly pay late with no consequence. Of the three tenants, two of them are on month-to-month leases and can be given a 30 day notice at any time to haul their butts somewhere else, hence I waited until last week to stir up trouble.
My first stop in my tirade was to go after the the home (month to month) where the professional football player is living. I was pretty sure his girlfriend didn't want to move herself to an new home during his prime working season. By the way, she paid in full last Friday and has stated paying late will no longer be an issue. My tenant in Fultondale managed to pay a sizable payment this month, and their particular mortgage is the least expensive, so I will work on them in later.
However, Mrs. Martin (who is in a lease), has some zen payment schedule only known to her. Not only does she pay when she wants, she pays what she wants. For example, she was under the mistaken impression November's rent was only $150 and nothing else would be necessary for me to be a happy owner. If this were the first time she had played this game, I might have been sympathetic, but no. Frankly, Buckaroo turned 13 seven weeks ago and our weekly grocery bill has tripled since.
Anyway, Monday I found out Mrs. Martin got the message: pay up or leave. So, she wrote Ms. Amy an e-mail with a sob story. At the end of the very long list of excuses, she said she is more than happy to make payment arrangements by December 5 (a Saturday, mind you) and the rest--and I am not making this up--sometime "after Christmas." Ms. Amy asked if I was ok with this arrangement. Oh yes, lest I forget, Mrs. Martin also said the reason she is normally late is she gets her first paycheck of the month on the 16th. (I'm guessing the particular paycheck this month was only for $150.)
First, I was not ok with this arrangement. There was nothing in her e-mail that said she would pay by December 5, just that she would make arrangements. Second of all, there are a lot of days between "After Christmas 2015" and "After some random Christmas later in life."
After a bit of back and forth, here is what I finally agreed upon. She can pay the entire balance of what is owed to me in back rent by close of business December 4, 2015 (notice I added the year). I will not accept a penny less. Nor will I accept the payment on December 7, 2015 at 8:01 a.m. Legalowl is standing by and ready to evict and garnish her wages on December 7.
Additionally, she is not waiting until sometime after Christmas to pay December's rent. She is not going to go out and spend a bunch of money that is contractually owed to me on do-dads for her grandchildren and friends and then expect me to be understanding. No. She will have December's rent paid in full--along with late fees--by December 17. If she doesn't, please see the last sentence in the above paragraph.
I also told Ms. Amy, "From this point forward, rent will not be accepted if she pays after the fifth of any future month. Nor will it be accepted if it is one penny less than what she owes. No more deals. No more negotiating. This is her one and only chance. Merry Christmas to her."
This apparently was conveyed to Mrs. Martin (though I am sure Ms. Amy was a bit more polite). Mrs. Martin came back and said she would "break her back" to make sure rent was on time from now on. She didn't want to move.
Monday, November 23, 2015
This Just In
Luigi sent me an e-mail today. He is restructuring. AND Flunky the Asshat Maintenance Manager is no longer the Maintenance Manager. Not sure if he is still employed, but frankly anyone else has to be a vast improvement.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Not Sure They Are Calling Me "A Dream Owner" Anymore
Last Friday I got into a scathing argument with Willy at Luigi's office. My complaint is that he has let my tenants slide with making partial payments and there has been no consequence to the tenants so they continue to do so. His response was "perhaps we have differing opinions of what property managers do."
Perhaps we do. And I told him so. I also told him in my definition, a property manager has a fiduciary responsibility to protect their client's assets. Because the property manager works for the owner, not the tenant. At least that is the legal definition in 49 other states. I also wrote a lot of other things that included "I am not running a homeless shelter." And if truth be told, I yelled a lot of other things that it is probably a good thing Willy didn't hear through cyber space.
I also e-mailed Luigi saying that if I (again) have to manage my properties and, in this case, his staff, please just put me on the payroll. I would love to tell you that was well received. But no.
In fact, my comments were so poorly received that Willy the Coward started having another person in the office answer my e-mails. However, I did make headway. One tenant, who was told that she was facing immediate eviction if she didn't haul her butt down to the property management office immediately, actually paid up.
The other tenant--the worst offended--still thinks I am kidding apparently because she didn't do anything. Why would she? Willy hasn't stuck up for me this long. So, tomorrow it is a call to LegalOwl, letting her know to evict this chick. She can find another owner to screw over.
Perhaps we do. And I told him so. I also told him in my definition, a property manager has a fiduciary responsibility to protect their client's assets. Because the property manager works for the owner, not the tenant. At least that is the legal definition in 49 other states. I also wrote a lot of other things that included "I am not running a homeless shelter." And if truth be told, I yelled a lot of other things that it is probably a good thing Willy didn't hear through cyber space.
I also e-mailed Luigi saying that if I (again) have to manage my properties and, in this case, his staff, please just put me on the payroll. I would love to tell you that was well received. But no.
In fact, my comments were so poorly received that Willy the Coward started having another person in the office answer my e-mails. However, I did make headway. One tenant, who was told that she was facing immediate eviction if she didn't haul her butt down to the property management office immediately, actually paid up.
The other tenant--the worst offended--still thinks I am kidding apparently because she didn't do anything. Why would she? Willy hasn't stuck up for me this long. So, tomorrow it is a call to LegalOwl, letting her know to evict this chick. She can find another owner to screw over.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Done. Done. Done.
It appears there is administrative red tape for our deed in lieu of foreclosure.
Issue Number 1: "The appraiser can't access the property." I find this hard to believe for the following reasons:
1. The property management company has been more than willing to give out the keys, but nobody has come by.
2. There is a lock box on the property and I have given out the code to everyone East of the Mississippi who wants it (1966 if you care).
3. The house is missing the garage door.
4. The house is missing almost every window.
I am certain between reasons 1 and 4, someone can find their way into this house if they really want to go in it.
Issue Number 2:
Some lawyer somewhere wants a signed statement from our former partners saying they agree to this foreclosure. Good luck with that. They haven't been our partners since 2007. They may or may not be living in this country. If not, they are in Asia somewhere. In order for them to sign (and notarize) they would have to find an American Consulate. And the letter would have to be back before close of business next Wednesday. Yeah, that's not happening.
Because of these issues, our deed in lieu has become a judicial foreclosure. At this point, I just don't care.
Issue Number 1: "The appraiser can't access the property." I find this hard to believe for the following reasons:
1. The property management company has been more than willing to give out the keys, but nobody has come by.
2. There is a lock box on the property and I have given out the code to everyone East of the Mississippi who wants it (1966 if you care).
3. The house is missing the garage door.
4. The house is missing almost every window.
I am certain between reasons 1 and 4, someone can find their way into this house if they really want to go in it.
Issue Number 2:
Some lawyer somewhere wants a signed statement from our former partners saying they agree to this foreclosure. Good luck with that. They haven't been our partners since 2007. They may or may not be living in this country. If not, they are in Asia somewhere. In order for them to sign (and notarize) they would have to find an American Consulate. And the letter would have to be back before close of business next Wednesday. Yeah, that's not happening.
Because of these issues, our deed in lieu has become a judicial foreclosure. At this point, I just don't care.
I'm Thinking Serial Killers Need Not Apply
It is rental season around here. Yes, I am up to my armpits in showing rentals this week. The 13 year old is perpetually hungry, so rentals it is. Anyway, I was looking for a rental for a client of mine. In the private realtor remarks I found the following qualifications the owner would accept.
"For a more smooth application process: Be sure to have client prepared with proof of income (Bank statements or pay stubs) and letters from previous landlords *** Please make sure that your clients have MINIMUM credit scores of 550, make Minimum 2.5x monthly rent, no evictions in the past 7 years, and a minimal criminal history."
Monday, November 16, 2015
Yes. Really.
And speaking of ways not to rent a home...
Please don't call me, wanting to rent a home and then disclose you are self employed. When I inquire what kind of business you say "growing herbs."
No. No. No.
Please don't call me, wanting to rent a home and then disclose you are self employed. When I inquire what kind of business you say "growing herbs."
No. No. No.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
How Not To Rent A Home
It's been a while since I covered this particular topic, but apparently it bears repeating. Unfortunately, the people who need to hear it the most don't read this blog.
If you are looking for a rental property, it is in your best interest to make a positive first impression. When I show homes, I coach prospective tenants on this. It is amazing how many of them need a quick charm-school lesson. But, that is for another blog.
Currently, I have two rental homes listed for rent for Arizona clients. They are--and I am not making this up--80 miles apart and still in the same county. Both homes are fantastic and have a lot of pluses, especially as far as rentals go. Both owners are requiring the same from prospective tenants: no evictions, no felonies, must currently earn three times the monthly rent and finally, no pets.
Let me repeat that last part: no pets. Frankly--as much as I like animals--I don't see why any landlord would allow pets. Ever. I also know there may come a time sooner than later where I have to rent and my cat comes with me. Hopefully, I can find the one landlord who will be so gracious as to make an exception. But it won't be my two clients. And I don't blame them a bit. And for that matter, I don't allow pets in my rental homes either.
That said, the number of calls and e-mails I get daily is increasing as I get closer to the middle of the month. "Will you allow section 8" (That was for the 3,500 square foot $1,900 rental I have in the West Valley). No. And your Section 8 voucher will only give you $1100.
"I have an eviction but it wasn't my fault?" Was your name on the lease? Then you have an eviction.
"My husband and I are both felons." Was it for drunk driving? "No." Let's see... the main types of felonies are drugs, crimes against people, crimes against property. If it wasn't for a DUI, it was probably for one of the three formerly mentioned. I understand you have done your time. But do your former (or current?) felon friends understand you have done your time and will they come looking for you in my client's home? For that matter, though you may have paid your debt to society, how do my clients know you have changed your lifestyle?
"Currently making three times the rent--gross" isn't really that crazy of a requirement. It is even for the the tenant's own protection. If they make that much, they can afford the house, if they don't, they will probably end up with an eviction on their record. I am floored at the number of folks calling me lately who can't multiply times three. I am even more floored at the number of unemployed folks calling me saying they don't have a job, but need somewhere to live and will the owner just give them a chance. I often give them the name of a few charities to help people in their situation until they get back on their feet. My owners have assets. They want them protected. They aren't running a homeless shelter.
And of course, back to the pets. "It is a little dog." "It is a sweet cat." yep. But they are still furry critters and the owners said no. "But if you would just ask....?" I asked. They said no to the last six people who have four legged family members. No.
While we are on the subject or prospective tenants, please don't call me at 8 a.m. on a Sunday, using big flowery words instead of the usual cultural vernacular. It tries my patience.
Today's call went like this:
"Would you be willing to take it upon yourself to allow us access into your rental at some time of mutual convenience so that we may ascertain whether or not it would be suitable habitation for us?" (barf).
Me: The owner is not allowing pets, felons, evictions and you must make three times the rent. Do you fit this criteria?
Tenant: Will the owner make an exception, as we have a charming American Bulldog.
Me: So, you have have a pitbull.
In all fairness, the woman sort of gasped when I suggested no felons too. But either way, there wouldn't be a time of mutual convenience where they could see the house.
If you are looking for a rental property, it is in your best interest to make a positive first impression. When I show homes, I coach prospective tenants on this. It is amazing how many of them need a quick charm-school lesson. But, that is for another blog.
Currently, I have two rental homes listed for rent for Arizona clients. They are--and I am not making this up--80 miles apart and still in the same county. Both homes are fantastic and have a lot of pluses, especially as far as rentals go. Both owners are requiring the same from prospective tenants: no evictions, no felonies, must currently earn three times the monthly rent and finally, no pets.
Let me repeat that last part: no pets. Frankly--as much as I like animals--I don't see why any landlord would allow pets. Ever. I also know there may come a time sooner than later where I have to rent and my cat comes with me. Hopefully, I can find the one landlord who will be so gracious as to make an exception. But it won't be my two clients. And I don't blame them a bit. And for that matter, I don't allow pets in my rental homes either.
That said, the number of calls and e-mails I get daily is increasing as I get closer to the middle of the month. "Will you allow section 8" (That was for the 3,500 square foot $1,900 rental I have in the West Valley). No. And your Section 8 voucher will only give you $1100.
"I have an eviction but it wasn't my fault?" Was your name on the lease? Then you have an eviction.
"My husband and I are both felons." Was it for drunk driving? "No." Let's see... the main types of felonies are drugs, crimes against people, crimes against property. If it wasn't for a DUI, it was probably for one of the three formerly mentioned. I understand you have done your time. But do your former (or current?) felon friends understand you have done your time and will they come looking for you in my client's home? For that matter, though you may have paid your debt to society, how do my clients know you have changed your lifestyle?
"Currently making three times the rent--gross" isn't really that crazy of a requirement. It is even for the the tenant's own protection. If they make that much, they can afford the house, if they don't, they will probably end up with an eviction on their record. I am floored at the number of folks calling me lately who can't multiply times three. I am even more floored at the number of unemployed folks calling me saying they don't have a job, but need somewhere to live and will the owner just give them a chance. I often give them the name of a few charities to help people in their situation until they get back on their feet. My owners have assets. They want them protected. They aren't running a homeless shelter.
And of course, back to the pets. "It is a little dog." "It is a sweet cat." yep. But they are still furry critters and the owners said no. "But if you would just ask....?" I asked. They said no to the last six people who have four legged family members. No.
While we are on the subject or prospective tenants, please don't call me at 8 a.m. on a Sunday, using big flowery words instead of the usual cultural vernacular. It tries my patience.
Today's call went like this:
"Would you be willing to take it upon yourself to allow us access into your rental at some time of mutual convenience so that we may ascertain whether or not it would be suitable habitation for us?" (barf).
Me: The owner is not allowing pets, felons, evictions and you must make three times the rent. Do you fit this criteria?
Tenant: Will the owner make an exception, as we have a charming American Bulldog.
Me: So, you have have a pitbull.
In all fairness, the woman sort of gasped when I suggested no felons too. But either way, there wouldn't be a time of mutual convenience where they could see the house.
Saturday, November 07, 2015
On the Fence
Today's ole' Blog is courtesy of our favorite Maintenance Manager who sent me photos of a repair he allegedly completed at my home in Alabaster. Apparently there was an issue with the fence leaning over a few weeks ago. I have heard nothing since and just figured someone would get to it when the tenant squawked loud enough.
And, because this week I once again ran to Luigi and offered my two cents about the level of service his company was offering, Flunky opted to be Flunky on the Spot. He apparently got sick of hearing the tenant squawk or decided to curry favor in my camp (who am I kidding) and send me a follow up e-mail about how the work has been completed, and please see the photos.
Is this "completed?" You decide.
To be fair, he sent me about five variations of this photo. This was the best of the bunch.
For some reason, he also sent me these two as well.
And, because this week I once again ran to Luigi and offered my two cents about the level of service his company was offering, Flunky opted to be Flunky on the Spot. He apparently got sick of hearing the tenant squawk or decided to curry favor in my camp (who am I kidding) and send me a follow up e-mail about how the work has been completed, and please see the photos.
Is this "completed?" You decide.
To be fair, he sent me about five variations of this photo. This was the best of the bunch.
For some reason, he also sent me these two as well.
I did write back to Flunky (and CC Luigi) suggesting that surely he did more than just use my money to prop up the fence with two freestanding posts. These are the before photos, right? And if so, would he please send over the "after" pictures as well?
And don't ask me about these last two pictures that he included. I recognize the one as the interior of my home in Alabaster (and I believe that is a rug that once belonged to the first tenant who lived there in 2006). And other seems to be a truck bed with various junk strewn about.
I don't expect a response to my e-mail this weekend (or for that matter, at all). What I really hope Flunky is doing instead of responding is actually fixing the fence this time.
Friday, November 06, 2015
Ooops He Did It Again
So, Flunky sent me a quote to make my vacant home rent-ready. The lovely quote for $3,700 included such items as "waxing the floors" and "removing the vine from the side of the home." When I saw the quote, I wrote the most polite and professional e-mail I could muster.
I asked Flunky if all the items on the list were necessary and could he please give me a bare-bones quote instead, because I know Mr. Partner will never agree to $3,700 (and neither would I). Now, you see what I did here? I allowed Flunky a chance to save face. Give me a better quote and we will both be happy.
But Flunky the Asshat Maintenance Manager didn't come by his name accidentally. Instead, Flunky wrote me back, telling me all of the items were indeed necessary to make the home rent-ready and if I knew a thing or two about property management, I would know not to question his superior intellect. Or, something to that affect.
Instead, I made two decisions. The first one was to find someone else to do the work. And what do you know! I found a quote for significantly less money. In fact, it is 60 percent less. Additionally, it is from someone I know and trust over in Birmingham.
The second item on my to-do list was to forward Flunky's e-mail to Luigi, explaining that once again, Flunky lost Luigi some money. After all, this is Luigi's maintenance company too. I explained the Flunky's quote seemed like fluffy-bunny stuff with a huge price tag. I said I am getting same work done for much less from an outside vendor. And, this was someone I knew and trusted, so it isn't like I just went to Craigslist and tried my luck on the first sober person who picked up the phone.
I asked Flunky if all the items on the list were necessary and could he please give me a bare-bones quote instead, because I know Mr. Partner will never agree to $3,700 (and neither would I). Now, you see what I did here? I allowed Flunky a chance to save face. Give me a better quote and we will both be happy.
But Flunky the Asshat Maintenance Manager didn't come by his name accidentally. Instead, Flunky wrote me back, telling me all of the items were indeed necessary to make the home rent-ready and if I knew a thing or two about property management, I would know not to question his superior intellect. Or, something to that affect.
Instead, I made two decisions. The first one was to find someone else to do the work. And what do you know! I found a quote for significantly less money. In fact, it is 60 percent less. Additionally, it is from someone I know and trust over in Birmingham.
The second item on my to-do list was to forward Flunky's e-mail to Luigi, explaining that once again, Flunky lost Luigi some money. After all, this is Luigi's maintenance company too. I explained the Flunky's quote seemed like fluffy-bunny stuff with a huge price tag. I said I am getting same work done for much less from an outside vendor. And, this was someone I knew and trusted, so it isn't like I just went to Craigslist and tried my luck on the first sober person who picked up the phone.
I understand everything has a cost and time isn't free. Flunky's time is valuable too and I am sure he doesn't want to spend hours figuring out what needs to be done only to have his price undercut. Nor do I appreciate spending hours on the phone having someone give me a better price. I have other things to do too and after all, that is why I hired a property management company to begin with.
Truth be told, I don't want Flunky touching my houses. And it appears he doesn't want to work anyway.
Thursday, November 05, 2015
The Tale of Two Foreclosures (part 2)
Though the Pinson Foreclosure is going extraordinarily well, the same can't be said for the foreclosure in North Birmingham.
Ironically, this home would not be in foreclosure if the bank hadn't called the second mortgage due last year for no reason. The months we fought that, coupled with the tenant moving out, the property needing some TLC (which equates to an influx of cash we didn't have) to make it move-in ready, caused a snowball affect we just couldn't recover from. If only one of those items had happened: the second loan being called due or the tenant moving out, we probably would have fought our way back up.
This particular home has a first and second mortgage with the same bank. At the same time we decided to let this one go as well as the Pinson home, the mortgage company came to us and said, "We have agreed to modify your loan. Yay you."
Last April when I explained to the Asset Manager it was too little, too late, he gave me my options: have a short sale with the agent of our choosing or let the home go into foreclosure. He assured me a foreclosure was a very, very bad choice and I would be better off going the (cough-cough) short sale route. But it was my decision.
As we were talking that day last April, he told me he had just pulled up Marty Sunshine's credit and was shocked we were making the decision to let the home go. He explicitly implied (can one explicitly imply?) that we must have money somewhere and why don't we act like grow ups, suck it up and pay what we owe and keep the house. I told him we would if we could. And perhaps if his bank had not called the loan due, or even modified it months earlier instead of repeatedly asking for the same documents, we could have pulled it off. But by then, we were out of money. Our home was vacant and we did not have the capital to make it rent-ready.
Since then, the Asset Manager's name has been changed to the Bigoted Ass. Manager. Which, by the way, he is. Kirby was our agent for this short sale. The Bigoted Ass. Manager told me I should find one who understands the neighborhood better and "the kind of people" who would want a home like I had in "special neighborhoods."
Kirby worked his buns off and brought in four cash offers. The Bigoted Ass. Manager's imaginary committee said they would only consider one of the offers if Marty and I brought several thousand dollars more than our loan obligation to the table. They asked us to sign a promissory note--which I suppose we could have signed, but we didn't have the money to pay it anyway and didn't want to take on that debt.
We then asked to do a deed in lieu of foreclose. The Ass. Manager sent me an awe shucks e-mail saying we really didn't want to do that and gee whiz, he didn't know how to do one anyway. So, no.
At that point, Legal Owl told us to ignore the bank. They would eventually figure out we weren't paying. She also said to pay the taxes and insurance on the property, but I am not sure that's a good idea. We paid the insurance last July. In my opinion, the Bigoted Ass. Manager took that to mean we were playing games with the mortgage company. We were just trying to be responsible.
Last week we got a letter from some attorney who is representing the bank. The letter went on to state the bank is starting a judicial foreclosure process. It seems silly to me, but whatever. Marty Sunshine called the attorney and asked her if we could just do a deed in lieu of foreclosure. It would be faster and cheaper for all involved. After all, we are happy to cooperate and they can have keys at any time. The attorney agreed and asked who we had been working with at the bank. Marty cheerfully supplied the attorney with the Bigoted Ass. Manger's contact info.
The attorney called us back yesterday, absolutely floored. Not only would the Bigoted Ass. Manager not agree to any easy way to make this end, apparently this guy is trying to stick it to us. He told the attorney unless we agree to pay what we owe or sign a promissory note, they will just do a judicial foreclosure. She didn't say it seemed personal, but that is what was explicitly implied.
Ironically, this home would not be in foreclosure if the bank hadn't called the second mortgage due last year for no reason. The months we fought that, coupled with the tenant moving out, the property needing some TLC (which equates to an influx of cash we didn't have) to make it move-in ready, caused a snowball affect we just couldn't recover from. If only one of those items had happened: the second loan being called due or the tenant moving out, we probably would have fought our way back up.
This particular home has a first and second mortgage with the same bank. At the same time we decided to let this one go as well as the Pinson home, the mortgage company came to us and said, "We have agreed to modify your loan. Yay you."
Last April when I explained to the Asset Manager it was too little, too late, he gave me my options: have a short sale with the agent of our choosing or let the home go into foreclosure. He assured me a foreclosure was a very, very bad choice and I would be better off going the (cough-cough) short sale route. But it was my decision.
As we were talking that day last April, he told me he had just pulled up Marty Sunshine's credit and was shocked we were making the decision to let the home go. He explicitly implied (can one explicitly imply?) that we must have money somewhere and why don't we act like grow ups, suck it up and pay what we owe and keep the house. I told him we would if we could. And perhaps if his bank had not called the loan due, or even modified it months earlier instead of repeatedly asking for the same documents, we could have pulled it off. But by then, we were out of money. Our home was vacant and we did not have the capital to make it rent-ready.
Since then, the Asset Manager's name has been changed to the Bigoted Ass. Manager. Which, by the way, he is. Kirby was our agent for this short sale. The Bigoted Ass. Manager told me I should find one who understands the neighborhood better and "the kind of people" who would want a home like I had in "special neighborhoods."
Kirby worked his buns off and brought in four cash offers. The Bigoted Ass. Manager's imaginary committee said they would only consider one of the offers if Marty and I brought several thousand dollars more than our loan obligation to the table. They asked us to sign a promissory note--which I suppose we could have signed, but we didn't have the money to pay it anyway and didn't want to take on that debt.
We then asked to do a deed in lieu of foreclose. The Ass. Manager sent me an awe shucks e-mail saying we really didn't want to do that and gee whiz, he didn't know how to do one anyway. So, no.
At that point, Legal Owl told us to ignore the bank. They would eventually figure out we weren't paying. She also said to pay the taxes and insurance on the property, but I am not sure that's a good idea. We paid the insurance last July. In my opinion, the Bigoted Ass. Manager took that to mean we were playing games with the mortgage company. We were just trying to be responsible.
Last week we got a letter from some attorney who is representing the bank. The letter went on to state the bank is starting a judicial foreclosure process. It seems silly to me, but whatever. Marty Sunshine called the attorney and asked her if we could just do a deed in lieu of foreclosure. It would be faster and cheaper for all involved. After all, we are happy to cooperate and they can have keys at any time. The attorney agreed and asked who we had been working with at the bank. Marty cheerfully supplied the attorney with the Bigoted Ass. Manger's contact info.
The attorney called us back yesterday, absolutely floored. Not only would the Bigoted Ass. Manager not agree to any easy way to make this end, apparently this guy is trying to stick it to us. He told the attorney unless we agree to pay what we owe or sign a promissory note, they will just do a judicial foreclosure. She didn't say it seemed personal, but that is what was explicitly implied.
Wednesday, November 04, 2015
The Tale of Two Foreclosures (part 1)
The saga of the home in Pinson will soon be coming to an end. This charming three bedroom home is nestled in a small rural mountain area, situated on two acres. Though the porch spans the front of the home, after the main back yard, there just happens to be a little pond out yonder.
The idiot couple with the 640+ credit score who moved in last year trashed the place, skirted the law, didn't pay rent and stayed for a year. I finally got to see the place this past March. While the tenant was giving me some sob story about how awful her life was and how it was her boyfriend who caused all the damage, I was quickly calculating how much money I would have to bring in to fix the place. When I mentally hit $40k, I stopped counting, had a semi-serious panic attack and immediately went back to the car. I knew insurance would not give us anywhere near that amount to make the place habitable. We had drained our savings paying for homes deadbeats had ruined so that we could keep our credit intact.
Credit be damned. We couldn't do it any more. It wasn't a decision we entered into lightly, but we opted to stop paying the mortgage. We contacted mortgage folks and asked what we needed to do to give the home back as peacefully and as quickly as possible. Please! Just take it.
It is now six months later. I have worked with several people at the mortgage company, including a woman named "NayNay" who apparently only answered e-mails, not phone calls, and seemed to have a serious aversion to good punctuation and grammar. For the last couple of months, we have been working with Jonathan. He returns calls and e-mails and has been spot on with his assistance.
We also have a second mortgage on this particular home. Representatives call me twice every day. Seven days a week. These representatives aren't very nice. In fact, one even told me if I would just stop drinking Starbucks I could afford to pay the mortgage. Oh... if only I could afford Starbucks right now.
Even with the idiot representatives at the second mortgage company, this has been a relatively smooth process. In fact, if this was the only time in my life I was going into foreclosure, I would say the process was streamlined and everyone (sans the snarky folks from India who work for the second mortgage company) was professional and polite.
By the way, our foreclosure sale is November 30, just in case you want a sweet little home nestled in the mountains with a lovely view and a pond.
The idiot couple with the 640+ credit score who moved in last year trashed the place, skirted the law, didn't pay rent and stayed for a year. I finally got to see the place this past March. While the tenant was giving me some sob story about how awful her life was and how it was her boyfriend who caused all the damage, I was quickly calculating how much money I would have to bring in to fix the place. When I mentally hit $40k, I stopped counting, had a semi-serious panic attack and immediately went back to the car. I knew insurance would not give us anywhere near that amount to make the place habitable. We had drained our savings paying for homes deadbeats had ruined so that we could keep our credit intact.
Credit be damned. We couldn't do it any more. It wasn't a decision we entered into lightly, but we opted to stop paying the mortgage. We contacted mortgage folks and asked what we needed to do to give the home back as peacefully and as quickly as possible. Please! Just take it.
It is now six months later. I have worked with several people at the mortgage company, including a woman named "NayNay" who apparently only answered e-mails, not phone calls, and seemed to have a serious aversion to good punctuation and grammar. For the last couple of months, we have been working with Jonathan. He returns calls and e-mails and has been spot on with his assistance.
We also have a second mortgage on this particular home. Representatives call me twice every day. Seven days a week. These representatives aren't very nice. In fact, one even told me if I would just stop drinking Starbucks I could afford to pay the mortgage. Oh... if only I could afford Starbucks right now.
Even with the idiot representatives at the second mortgage company, this has been a relatively smooth process. In fact, if this was the only time in my life I was going into foreclosure, I would say the process was streamlined and everyone (sans the snarky folks from India who work for the second mortgage company) was professional and polite.
By the way, our foreclosure sale is November 30, just in case you want a sweet little home nestled in the mountains with a lovely view and a pond.
Friday, October 30, 2015
And, The Rest of the Story
Late last Tuesday night, fresh from the Bernice drama of last two days, I called Carolsue. After asking the property management company to drop everything and take care of me, Bernice had just blown me off. Though she has rented all of her life, she apparently wasn't expecting to part with a security deposit. That Tuesday night, I was tired and frustrated. And, I just wanted to vent to someone about how much I absolutely hate being a potential landlord to crazy people. And more importantly, how did I screw up my karma so badly that crazies are attracted my way?
That's when Carolsue dropped this little nugget on me. While she was working on the steps at the house Monday (helping me get ready for Wednesday's rental), and while Flunky's crew was over there changing the locks, replacing the broken window and fixing the drywall in the bathroom, Bernice just happened to pop by. I guess she had nothing better to do with her entire afternoon except channel her inner contractor, because she walked around, overseeing the work, telling everyone how she was moving in two days later. She asked the crew if they would fix this? And would they take care of that? Thankfully, the crew told her that was up to the owner to decide. Hence, this explains why I was getting a ton of texts asking about maintenance from Bernice.
But, that's not all. Because Bernice was telling everyone how she moving in (she had neglected drive over to the property management company and fill out an application at this point, much less be approved), one member of Flunky's crew gave her a key to my freshly re-keyed home. Apparently he just figured she said she was moving in, it must be true. I am sure he was doing it as a favor to all involved and had the best of intentions.
However, when Carolsue told me this Tuesday night, I stroked out.
To put this in perspective: some chick who has to be out of her home by Wednesday now has a key to my house. What is to stop her from making up a fake lease and and just moving herself in? This was a potential nightmare (actually it was a true nightmare, because that is what I dreamed of that night). This scenario, happens more often then you think. Squatters are hard to get rid of. And with the Alabama court system so darn slow, getting rid of someone with a key and a fake lease could take a year--if she moved on her own. and frankly, with an open bankruptcy and an eviction, Bernice has nothing too loose. So, while I was on the phone with Carolsue, I was frantically e-mailing everyone in Luigi's organization whom I had an e-mail address, explaining the enormity of the situation.
Then, very early Wednesday morning Jeff from Luigi's office called. And when I re-iterated how a member of Flunky's crew illegally gave out a key to my home, Jeff said--and I am not making this up: "That's the craziest thing I ever heard."
I couldn't help myself. My filter was gone as I incredulously replied, "Seriously Jeff? You have been in property management for at least a year and that's the craziest thing you ever heard?"
That's when Carolsue dropped this little nugget on me. While she was working on the steps at the house Monday (helping me get ready for Wednesday's rental), and while Flunky's crew was over there changing the locks, replacing the broken window and fixing the drywall in the bathroom, Bernice just happened to pop by. I guess she had nothing better to do with her entire afternoon except channel her inner contractor, because she walked around, overseeing the work, telling everyone how she was moving in two days later. She asked the crew if they would fix this? And would they take care of that? Thankfully, the crew told her that was up to the owner to decide. Hence, this explains why I was getting a ton of texts asking about maintenance from Bernice.
But, that's not all. Because Bernice was telling everyone how she moving in (she had neglected drive over to the property management company and fill out an application at this point, much less be approved), one member of Flunky's crew gave her a key to my freshly re-keyed home. Apparently he just figured she said she was moving in, it must be true. I am sure he was doing it as a favor to all involved and had the best of intentions.
However, when Carolsue told me this Tuesday night, I stroked out.
To put this in perspective: some chick who has to be out of her home by Wednesday now has a key to my house. What is to stop her from making up a fake lease and and just moving herself in? This was a potential nightmare (actually it was a true nightmare, because that is what I dreamed of that night). This scenario, happens more often then you think. Squatters are hard to get rid of. And with the Alabama court system so darn slow, getting rid of someone with a key and a fake lease could take a year--if she moved on her own. and frankly, with an open bankruptcy and an eviction, Bernice has nothing too loose. So, while I was on the phone with Carolsue, I was frantically e-mailing everyone in Luigi's organization whom I had an e-mail address, explaining the enormity of the situation.
Then, very early Wednesday morning Jeff from Luigi's office called. And when I re-iterated how a member of Flunky's crew illegally gave out a key to my home, Jeff said--and I am not making this up: "That's the craziest thing I ever heard."
I couldn't help myself. My filter was gone as I incredulously replied, "Seriously Jeff? You have been in property management for at least a year and that's the craziest thing you ever heard?"
Thursday, October 29, 2015
That Tuesday
Tuesday came around, Bernice sauntered in to Luigi's office and happily filled out the application to rent my home. It was the quietest 15 minutes of my day. Because, as soon as she was done, she then continued to text me asking for all sorts of items to be fixed. Many were cosmetic. And many more were ridiculous. But, in truth, the home wasn't move-in ready, I gave her a break on the rent for the first month and told her we would call it even.
At the same time the texts from Bernice were coming in, e-mails from Flunky the Maintenance Asshat were coming in to me, giving me updates on what a spectacular job his crew was doing at this house. I have never, ever, received updates from Flunky before on any job, or frankly, since.
Flunky's e-mails sent a spark of guilt through me. What I asked of everyone there was a major imposition. It was a fire drill. Please stop what you are doing, get my home ready to rent and approve my tenant in record time. I knew what I was asking when I was doing it, and I am beyond grateful they stepped up. They didn't have to. And they probably won't again--but I am getting ahead of myself.
So, back to Bernice. A credit and background check revealed that Good O'le Bernice has an open bankruptcy. She also has a fresh--like less than two month's ago--eviction she had neglected to mention to me. I had asked her some basic questions on Sunday when I was talking to her and somehow she forgot to mention these two itsy-bitsy issues. Certainly she revealed she had bruised credit but she neglected to tell me about the two absolute-I-will-not-rent-to-you-EVER deal killers. She also told me she made three times the monthly rent. And, as expected at this point, apparently Bernice's best subject in school wasn't math.
When I called Bernice back (she feigned surprise she had an eviction--how does one not know this??? and furthermore how stupid did she think I was that she thought I would believe she didn't know she had been summoned in front of a judge?) I said, "Tell me right now why I should rent to you." At which point, Bernice gave me a lovely song and dance about why she was worth taking a chance on. I wasn't convinced. Jeff, Luigi's leasing agent, agreed with me. Bernice was not worth it.
However, this home belongs to four people: The Partners, Marty Sunshine and me. As I am only one-fourth of the vote, I was over-ruled. The truth is, most likely if we don't put Bernice in this house, we are putting a Section 8 crack whore in there. In some ways, Bernice with her open bankruptcy and six-week old eviction looked a lot prettier than what else we could expect. At least that was Marty Sunshine's thinking. Essentially, we could at least get Bernice to baby-sit this particular home at least through the holidays. It wasn't that I agreed, I just saw the other side of the coin: I know what could expect from this neighborhood. Heck, even counting my home in Pinson (in foreclosure) this was the home that has been trashed the worst. At least Bernice didn't seem like the type to trash it.
When push came to shove, Marty Sunshine over-ruled me. I made him send me an e-mail saying I had no say in the matter and if this turned out to be the train-wreck I was expecting it to be, I am absolved of all responsibility.
I then called back Bernice, told her she was approved. I told her I wasn't messing around. One wrong move and she was out in the street (right... like I can make that stick). I did my best to sound like the grumpy curmudgeon I had become that day. She replied with several variations of "Thank you Mrs. Landlord. I will take great care of your place. Thank you. Thank you." She then spared my cell minutes but continually followed up with additional texts with the same sentiment.
Once I gave the astonished ("Seriously, you are going to rent to her? Have you lost your mind?") Jeff the green light to approve her. He called Bernice and told her to come in Wednesday morning and sign the lease. He went over the terms and conditions. What her move-in up front money would be. He reminded Bernice I had given her a reduction in rent and wasn't I just awesome? Apparently Bernice was thrilled--at least that is what the leasing agent told me.
Long around 7 p.m. my time that night, Bernice sent me yet another text. She wasn't moving in. Because, even though she had to be out of her apartment by the next morning, it turns out she didn't have the security deposit. Oops! So, thanks anyway for jumping through all these hoops and "taking a chance on her". But no.
At the same time the texts from Bernice were coming in, e-mails from Flunky the Maintenance Asshat were coming in to me, giving me updates on what a spectacular job his crew was doing at this house. I have never, ever, received updates from Flunky before on any job, or frankly, since.
Flunky's e-mails sent a spark of guilt through me. What I asked of everyone there was a major imposition. It was a fire drill. Please stop what you are doing, get my home ready to rent and approve my tenant in record time. I knew what I was asking when I was doing it, and I am beyond grateful they stepped up. They didn't have to. And they probably won't again--but I am getting ahead of myself.
So, back to Bernice. A credit and background check revealed that Good O'le Bernice has an open bankruptcy. She also has a fresh--like less than two month's ago--eviction she had neglected to mention to me. I had asked her some basic questions on Sunday when I was talking to her and somehow she forgot to mention these two itsy-bitsy issues. Certainly she revealed she had bruised credit but she neglected to tell me about the two absolute-I-will-not-rent-to-you-EVER deal killers. She also told me she made three times the monthly rent. And, as expected at this point, apparently Bernice's best subject in school wasn't math.
When I called Bernice back (she feigned surprise she had an eviction--how does one not know this??? and furthermore how stupid did she think I was that she thought I would believe she didn't know she had been summoned in front of a judge?) I said, "Tell me right now why I should rent to you." At which point, Bernice gave me a lovely song and dance about why she was worth taking a chance on. I wasn't convinced. Jeff, Luigi's leasing agent, agreed with me. Bernice was not worth it.
However, this home belongs to four people: The Partners, Marty Sunshine and me. As I am only one-fourth of the vote, I was over-ruled. The truth is, most likely if we don't put Bernice in this house, we are putting a Section 8 crack whore in there. In some ways, Bernice with her open bankruptcy and six-week old eviction looked a lot prettier than what else we could expect. At least that was Marty Sunshine's thinking. Essentially, we could at least get Bernice to baby-sit this particular home at least through the holidays. It wasn't that I agreed, I just saw the other side of the coin: I know what could expect from this neighborhood. Heck, even counting my home in Pinson (in foreclosure) this was the home that has been trashed the worst. At least Bernice didn't seem like the type to trash it.
When push came to shove, Marty Sunshine over-ruled me. I made him send me an e-mail saying I had no say in the matter and if this turned out to be the train-wreck I was expecting it to be, I am absolved of all responsibility.
I then called back Bernice, told her she was approved. I told her I wasn't messing around. One wrong move and she was out in the street (right... like I can make that stick). I did my best to sound like the grumpy curmudgeon I had become that day. She replied with several variations of "Thank you Mrs. Landlord. I will take great care of your place. Thank you. Thank you." She then spared my cell minutes but continually followed up with additional texts with the same sentiment.
Once I gave the astonished ("Seriously, you are going to rent to her? Have you lost your mind?") Jeff the green light to approve her. He called Bernice and told her to come in Wednesday morning and sign the lease. He went over the terms and conditions. What her move-in up front money would be. He reminded Bernice I had given her a reduction in rent and wasn't I just awesome? Apparently Bernice was thrilled--at least that is what the leasing agent told me.
Long around 7 p.m. my time that night, Bernice sent me yet another text. She wasn't moving in. Because, even though she had to be out of her apartment by the next morning, it turns out she didn't have the security deposit. Oops! So, thanks anyway for jumping through all these hoops and "taking a chance on her". But no.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
That Monday
The O'le Accidental Business has been kinda busy lately. I would like to tell how productive this business has been, but as true in life, "busy" has nothing to do with productive.
Here's the back story: I had a home in property management. The tenant moved out. A former tenant contacted me and wanted to rent it. This was someone I know and trust. So, a couple of Fridays ago, I took the house out of property management. The following Sunday morning, I heard from Ms. Former Tenant: she wasn't moving in. So, I now have a vacant home that is out of property management.
Nevertheless, Carolsue came forward and instantly found me a potential renter. Bernice was looking to rent a home in Carolsue's neighborhood, but instead, Carolsue told her about my charming home and took her over to see it.
It turns out, Bernice loved my little home. She wanted to move in by Wednesday. And would I consider painting? And who was fixing the broken window? This is all Sunday evening.
So, that evening, I got on the computer and send a lovely note over to Luigi and Willy telling them yes, please put the home back in property management. Yes, I promise not to change my mind again. And by the way, Bernice will be calling first thing Monday morning to fill out an application. This, by the way, was a serious imposition on my part. I knew it when I did it, and hoped for the best.
I waited until Monday morning to send Flunky a note, sweetly asking him if he would pretty please fix the broken window, change the locks and paint the bathroom. And could he do it immediately, as the potential tenant was moving in on Wednesday.
As you three readers know, my relationship with Flunky the Maintenance Asshat is tenuous at best. And apparently word got back to him that I ratted him out to Luigi a few weeks ago. This probably was the reason--on a Monday morning, at a property management company, with all sorts of maintenance issues coming in from the weekend that should supersede a broken window and new locks--Flunky was so darn gracious with the "Yes, Ma'am, I would be (cough-cough) happy to help you," e-mails he sent me in reply.
Meanwhile, Carolsue was taking care of some other maintenance at the home for me. So, she was on hand to witness everything, when suddenly (and unbeknownst to me) Bernice, instead of high-tailing to the property management company to fill out an application, just decided to pop by and check on "her" home. All I knew was that I was getting texts in 20 minute intervals that said something alone the lines of "Will you fix this?" or "I haven't heard from the property management company yet." and other such nonsense. And, given it was a Monday, and I work for a Property Management company, I really didn't have the time or patience to continue to deal with Bernice.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I sent everyone who handles leasing as well as Luigi himself a note saying "Please, someone call her! She wants to move in by Wednesday." Finally someone reached out to Bernice and scheduled her to come in Tuesday morning to fill out an application.
To be continued
Here's the back story: I had a home in property management. The tenant moved out. A former tenant contacted me and wanted to rent it. This was someone I know and trust. So, a couple of Fridays ago, I took the house out of property management. The following Sunday morning, I heard from Ms. Former Tenant: she wasn't moving in. So, I now have a vacant home that is out of property management.
Nevertheless, Carolsue came forward and instantly found me a potential renter. Bernice was looking to rent a home in Carolsue's neighborhood, but instead, Carolsue told her about my charming home and took her over to see it.
It turns out, Bernice loved my little home. She wanted to move in by Wednesday. And would I consider painting? And who was fixing the broken window? This is all Sunday evening.
So, that evening, I got on the computer and send a lovely note over to Luigi and Willy telling them yes, please put the home back in property management. Yes, I promise not to change my mind again. And by the way, Bernice will be calling first thing Monday morning to fill out an application. This, by the way, was a serious imposition on my part. I knew it when I did it, and hoped for the best.
I waited until Monday morning to send Flunky a note, sweetly asking him if he would pretty please fix the broken window, change the locks and paint the bathroom. And could he do it immediately, as the potential tenant was moving in on Wednesday.
As you three readers know, my relationship with Flunky the Maintenance Asshat is tenuous at best. And apparently word got back to him that I ratted him out to Luigi a few weeks ago. This probably was the reason--on a Monday morning, at a property management company, with all sorts of maintenance issues coming in from the weekend that should supersede a broken window and new locks--Flunky was so darn gracious with the "Yes, Ma'am, I would be (cough-cough) happy to help you," e-mails he sent me in reply.
Meanwhile, Carolsue was taking care of some other maintenance at the home for me. So, she was on hand to witness everything, when suddenly (and unbeknownst to me) Bernice, instead of high-tailing to the property management company to fill out an application, just decided to pop by and check on "her" home. All I knew was that I was getting texts in 20 minute intervals that said something alone the lines of "Will you fix this?" or "I haven't heard from the property management company yet." and other such nonsense. And, given it was a Monday, and I work for a Property Management company, I really didn't have the time or patience to continue to deal with Bernice.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I sent everyone who handles leasing as well as Luigi himself a note saying "Please, someone call her! She wants to move in by Wednesday." Finally someone reached out to Bernice and scheduled her to come in Tuesday morning to fill out an application.
To be continued
Friday, October 16, 2015
Round And Round
When we last left the continuing saga of loosing our home in Pinson (the one on the two acres with a pond and wrap around porch), we were in the process of working with the first mortgage company on a deed in lieu of foreclosure. The second mortgage company however continues to call at all hours of the day and ask for my social security number. Which I refuse to give them (Hey! They called me. They should have my social security number.)
A few weeks ago, our liaison at the first mortgage company, Jonathan, wrote me and asked if I could meet the appraiser out at the house to let him in. I found this odd because he just replied to an earlier e-mail I had sent saying, "I don't live in Alabama and you can have the appraiser get the keys from the property management company. And here is their contact information." But whatever, somewhere in me saying "I don't live in Alabama" it was interpreted as "I am certainly available to drop everything and hop on over and let some dude into this home at his convenience" (who could probably enter through the broken window or where the garage door used to be--thank you former tenants).
Also as part of Jonathan's note last week he asked if I could send him the articles of incorporation for an LLC that hasn't had their name on this deed in 8 years. When I asked why, Jonathan just replied because that LLC's name is on the deed. I went to the Jefferson County Tax Records. No it isn't. But I didn't feel like arguing with Jonathan.
Instead, I just replied to Jonathan's e-mail with an answer to both: Get the keys from the property management company. And here is their contact information (again) and would you like us to change the deed back into Marty Sunshine's and my name to make everything smoother? And then I waited. And waited. And waited.
Today I got another e-mail from Jonathan. What do you know? It was a reply from my last e-mail where I asked him about the name change. But just to be sure I would think him a bit of a buffoon, he asked what was going on with us changing the name on the deed? He also told me "we" couldn't move forward with this until this issue was resolved.
And by the way, when could I get out to the house and let the appraiser in?
A few weeks ago, our liaison at the first mortgage company, Jonathan, wrote me and asked if I could meet the appraiser out at the house to let him in. I found this odd because he just replied to an earlier e-mail I had sent saying, "I don't live in Alabama and you can have the appraiser get the keys from the property management company. And here is their contact information." But whatever, somewhere in me saying "I don't live in Alabama" it was interpreted as "I am certainly available to drop everything and hop on over and let some dude into this home at his convenience" (who could probably enter through the broken window or where the garage door used to be--thank you former tenants).
Also as part of Jonathan's note last week he asked if I could send him the articles of incorporation for an LLC that hasn't had their name on this deed in 8 years. When I asked why, Jonathan just replied because that LLC's name is on the deed. I went to the Jefferson County Tax Records. No it isn't. But I didn't feel like arguing with Jonathan.
Instead, I just replied to Jonathan's e-mail with an answer to both: Get the keys from the property management company. And here is their contact information (again) and would you like us to change the deed back into Marty Sunshine's and my name to make everything smoother? And then I waited. And waited. And waited.
Today I got another e-mail from Jonathan. What do you know? It was a reply from my last e-mail where I asked him about the name change. But just to be sure I would think him a bit of a buffoon, he asked what was going on with us changing the name on the deed? He also told me "we" couldn't move forward with this until this issue was resolved.
And by the way, when could I get out to the house and let the appraiser in?
Friday, October 09, 2015
Just In Time
This past week, Flunky the Maintenance Asshat pestered me to approve the quote he gave me to have the watershed issue abated at my Fultondale home. I ignored him for several days, happily deleting his texts and filing his unread e-mails. Incidentally, the quote was significantly less, and much more reasonable, than his first "this is the only one you are going to get from me and leave me the heck alone you stupid woman who knows nothing," quote he presented me months ago.
One of the legitimate reasons I did not approve the quote right away was that I wanted Mr. 114 to take a peek and give me his professional opinion. After all, Mr. 114 does this kind of thing for a living. In this case, Mr. 114 happens to live on the smack-dab other side of town and it just isn't worth it to him to take on this job (though I begged). Eventually he graciously got back in touch with me. And yes, he gave me his blessing.
My real concern is my tenants. They have been there since 2010. They love the area. In fact Mr. Fultondale grew up in the neighborhood and fondly tells me every time I inspect the home how he used to camp in the woods approximately where my home is currently situated. The tenants keep the house in cherry condition. And through this entire ordeal, it never strayed from my mind that these folks are the unfortunate pawns in this game.
It wasn't that I wanted to hurt them. My tenants don't deserve to be put in the middle of a battle of wills between Flunky and my wallet. Nor did they sign up for a home where their basement was uninhabitable. And, if Flunky had provided me with a reasonable quote back in June, or even a second quote when I asked for it in July, there wouldn't have been a situation where the tenants couldn't use the basement for months on end.
While all this was going on, I was also keenly aware my tenants' lease is up at the end of this month. It would have been completely reasonable for them to pack up and move under the circumstances. I know I would consider doing so. Additionally, I knew if they did pack up and move, we would either 1) still have to get the work done and have to pay the turnover costs associated with having a vacant home or 2)--and this was the more likely scenario--give this home back to the bank. Neither appealed to me. Fortunately, it appears this was resolved in time and it won't be an issue after all.
One of the legitimate reasons I did not approve the quote right away was that I wanted Mr. 114 to take a peek and give me his professional opinion. After all, Mr. 114 does this kind of thing for a living. In this case, Mr. 114 happens to live on the smack-dab other side of town and it just isn't worth it to him to take on this job (though I begged). Eventually he graciously got back in touch with me. And yes, he gave me his blessing.
My real concern is my tenants. They have been there since 2010. They love the area. In fact Mr. Fultondale grew up in the neighborhood and fondly tells me every time I inspect the home how he used to camp in the woods approximately where my home is currently situated. The tenants keep the house in cherry condition. And through this entire ordeal, it never strayed from my mind that these folks are the unfortunate pawns in this game.
It wasn't that I wanted to hurt them. My tenants don't deserve to be put in the middle of a battle of wills between Flunky and my wallet. Nor did they sign up for a home where their basement was uninhabitable. And, if Flunky had provided me with a reasonable quote back in June, or even a second quote when I asked for it in July, there wouldn't have been a situation where the tenants couldn't use the basement for months on end.
While all this was going on, I was also keenly aware my tenants' lease is up at the end of this month. It would have been completely reasonable for them to pack up and move under the circumstances. I know I would consider doing so. Additionally, I knew if they did pack up and move, we would either 1) still have to get the work done and have to pay the turnover costs associated with having a vacant home or 2)--and this was the more likely scenario--give this home back to the bank. Neither appealed to me. Fortunately, it appears this was resolved in time and it won't be an issue after all.
Tuesday, October 06, 2015
The Passive Aggressive Diva That I Am
Flunky the Maintenance Asshat's e-mail arrived in my inbox at some reasonable hour Monday. It said, "Here is a new quote for the work that needs to be done on your home in Fultondale." And what do you know! It was less than half of cost of the first quote.
You remember that first quote don't you? The one I have repeatedly asked for since June? The one Mr. 114 told me was garbage? Yea, that one.
A few weeks ago, after asking Flunky repeatedly to find another vendor, he told me "there is no other company that does this kind of work", essentially letting me know this was as good as it would get and that I needed to back off. Somehow that changed last week and Birmingham became awash with watershed management companies.* This time Flunky found a more wonderful "as good as it was going to get" type of price.
Of course, because the quote was so handsome Flunky has been pestering me all darn day to approve the the project.
I probably will.
When I am good and ready.
*That pun is for you Alec.
You remember that first quote don't you? The one I have repeatedly asked for since June? The one Mr. 114 told me was garbage? Yea, that one.
A few weeks ago, after asking Flunky repeatedly to find another vendor, he told me "there is no other company that does this kind of work", essentially letting me know this was as good as it would get and that I needed to back off. Somehow that changed last week and Birmingham became awash with watershed management companies.* This time Flunky found a more wonderful "as good as it was going to get" type of price.
Of course, because the quote was so handsome Flunky has been pestering me all darn day to approve the the project.
I probably will.
When I am good and ready.
*That pun is for you Alec.
Monday, October 05, 2015
This Isn't The "Right Property"
If you aren't aware of this particular tid-bit about me, I hate showing rentals. Yes. I work for a property management company, but for the most part, I sell real estate for a property management company. Rentals. Not so much.
However, my kids are addicted to groceries. And, with Buckaroo in two sports and about to turn 13 in a matter of days, we go through a lot of groceries. A lot. So, I show rentals.
One of the nifty aspects of real estate is I can advertise other people's listings. Yes, I need permission (unless the rentals are from my company), but being able to do so allows me to generate leads. And essentially a filled rental home makes for a happy owner and a full belly for Buckaroo.
Anyway, I recently ran an ad for a home. As you may remember from our Landlord 101 final exam a few years ago on this blog (which I am pleased to say the three of you passed), the most information you will ever find out about a tenant is from the time they show any interest in a home to the moment they sign the lease. That in mind, this is the response I got from a guy named Ray for an ad I ran. It came in this past Saturday night.
"I am interested in this rental and would like to schedule a viewing today. My roommate are looking to move into a property as soon as Monday. We have cash in hand and are ready to move on the right property. Can I see this property tomorrow?"
Now, mind you, the dude didn't call me--which would make a heck of a lot more sense if he has the urgency I seem to be reading into this. It also appears he can't make up his mind. Did he want to see this house on Saturday or Sunday. Marty Sunshine was even questioning whether or not he was real. That aside, there are a few reasons why I would never rent to him if this were my property.
1) He sounds desperate. If you are willing to move within two days (mind you it takes about two business days to run a background check, credit check and landlord check), why? Are you being kicked out of your current home? Did you not realize the month rolled over and are just exhibiting poor planning skills? Owners don't like poor planning skills from tenants. It tends to become a monthly trend, which involves poor planning with the rent.
2) He has a roommate. That probably means he can't afford the rent himself (which in this case is $1200). Most landlords (me and the company I work for included) require a tenant to have a monthly income of three times the monthly rent. If you need a roommate, you probably are not going to fall into that category. And what happens if Ray and his roomie have a falling out and the roommate leaves? Can Ray afford the rent or does he bail on an unsuspecting owner?
That was rhetorical by the way. We all know the answer to this because it was in the Landlord 102 final exam.
3) And finally, Ray has cash. Nowhere in his quick message did it say anything about him having the "money" for rent and deposits. Just that he has "cash." Of course, there is the usual cliches about the kinds of folks who have all cash businesses. Ray sounds like a nice, Italian name. Don't you think?
But drug runners and mafia aside there is the screaming subtext of, "I don't have a bank account" or "My credit is so bad that I cannot get a checking account." Most owners don't accept potential tenants who do not have bank accounts. These folks tend to look more transient. And less reliable. And the question coming to my mind is why is this person not grown up enough to have a bank account? Granted it isn't against the law to keep your money in an empty fruit cocktail can in the pantry, but it is nonconforming. Owners tend to appreciate conforming. And stability.
I did not respond to Ray. For one thing, today is Monday. I didn't work this past Sunday so I didn't get his message in time. And second, I don't want to help him. My feeling is that he first needs to help himself.
However, my kids are addicted to groceries. And, with Buckaroo in two sports and about to turn 13 in a matter of days, we go through a lot of groceries. A lot. So, I show rentals.
One of the nifty aspects of real estate is I can advertise other people's listings. Yes, I need permission (unless the rentals are from my company), but being able to do so allows me to generate leads. And essentially a filled rental home makes for a happy owner and a full belly for Buckaroo.
Anyway, I recently ran an ad for a home. As you may remember from our Landlord 101 final exam a few years ago on this blog (which I am pleased to say the three of you passed), the most information you will ever find out about a tenant is from the time they show any interest in a home to the moment they sign the lease. That in mind, this is the response I got from a guy named Ray for an ad I ran. It came in this past Saturday night.
"I am interested in this rental and would like to schedule a viewing today. My roommate are looking to move into a property as soon as Monday. We have cash in hand and are ready to move on the right property. Can I see this property tomorrow?"
Now, mind you, the dude didn't call me--which would make a heck of a lot more sense if he has the urgency I seem to be reading into this. It also appears he can't make up his mind. Did he want to see this house on Saturday or Sunday. Marty Sunshine was even questioning whether or not he was real. That aside, there are a few reasons why I would never rent to him if this were my property.
1) He sounds desperate. If you are willing to move within two days (mind you it takes about two business days to run a background check, credit check and landlord check), why? Are you being kicked out of your current home? Did you not realize the month rolled over and are just exhibiting poor planning skills? Owners don't like poor planning skills from tenants. It tends to become a monthly trend, which involves poor planning with the rent.
2) He has a roommate. That probably means he can't afford the rent himself (which in this case is $1200). Most landlords (me and the company I work for included) require a tenant to have a monthly income of three times the monthly rent. If you need a roommate, you probably are not going to fall into that category. And what happens if Ray and his roomie have a falling out and the roommate leaves? Can Ray afford the rent or does he bail on an unsuspecting owner?
That was rhetorical by the way. We all know the answer to this because it was in the Landlord 102 final exam.
3) And finally, Ray has cash. Nowhere in his quick message did it say anything about him having the "money" for rent and deposits. Just that he has "cash." Of course, there is the usual cliches about the kinds of folks who have all cash businesses. Ray sounds like a nice, Italian name. Don't you think?
But drug runners and mafia aside there is the screaming subtext of, "I don't have a bank account" or "My credit is so bad that I cannot get a checking account." Most owners don't accept potential tenants who do not have bank accounts. These folks tend to look more transient. And less reliable. And the question coming to my mind is why is this person not grown up enough to have a bank account? Granted it isn't against the law to keep your money in an empty fruit cocktail can in the pantry, but it is nonconforming. Owners tend to appreciate conforming. And stability.
I did not respond to Ray. For one thing, today is Monday. I didn't work this past Sunday so I didn't get his message in time. And second, I don't want to help him. My feeling is that he first needs to help himself.
Thursday, October 01, 2015
Karma
So I work for a property management company. Last year, one of our owners from Canada came down to Arizona to visit their five properties. They also wanted to buy another--which was where I came in. I found them the best deal ever on a home. They got it for $70,000 under market.
In exchange for jumping through a lot of hoops and finding them the bargain of the century, they wrote a note to the broker telling him how incompetent I happen to be. Of course, nobody on my end believed it and my conscience was clear.
Fast forward to six months later. One of their properties came vacant. As part of my job, I found them not one, not two, but three qualified tenants to rent this home. All of them would have been dream tenants. All of them were rejected for various reasons, including in one case--and I am not making this up--though the husband's monthly salary was more than than five times the monthly rent and they had no debt and a sizable savings account, the wife didn't work outside the home. And, what would happen if the husband lost his job? Who would pay the rent then?
At that point, I recused myself, told my broker he was on his own and he could find tenants for these yahoos. I also made it clear I would never, ever show any of their rentals. Ever.
This past week one of their rentals came vacant. And, what did these folks do? They fired my broker and have decided to rent it out and manage it themselves from Canada. Best of luck to them. They will need it.
In exchange for jumping through a lot of hoops and finding them the bargain of the century, they wrote a note to the broker telling him how incompetent I happen to be. Of course, nobody on my end believed it and my conscience was clear.
Fast forward to six months later. One of their properties came vacant. As part of my job, I found them not one, not two, but three qualified tenants to rent this home. All of them would have been dream tenants. All of them were rejected for various reasons, including in one case--and I am not making this up--though the husband's monthly salary was more than than five times the monthly rent and they had no debt and a sizable savings account, the wife didn't work outside the home. And, what would happen if the husband lost his job? Who would pay the rent then?
At that point, I recused myself, told my broker he was on his own and he could find tenants for these yahoos. I also made it clear I would never, ever show any of their rentals. Ever.
This past week one of their rentals came vacant. And, what did these folks do? They fired my broker and have decided to rent it out and manage it themselves from Canada. Best of luck to them. They will need it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)