So, I get this call from Mr. Wright today. He loved my vacant home. He thought it would be the perfect place for he and his family and would I please consider lowering the rent $100?
He then went on to tell me how great the house looked and how he couldn't wait to move in. In his next breath, he informed me the house was "absolutely filthy." Would they be responsible for cleaning it? And, more importantly, would I be willing to deduct money from the deposits for them to cover all his trouble? After a bit of probing, he told me "absolutely filthy" meant one wall still hadn't been painted (Former Tenant #2 told me she hadn't finished it yet) and the laundry room had dirt on it where the washer and dryer were living until yesterday. I confirmed this was his idea of "absolutely filthy" and told him NO, I would not deduct hundreds off the deposit.
Mr. Wright then verified that he loved the neighborhood. But, expressed concern about safety, because he has two daughters and the neighborhood doesn't "feel" safe. The example he provide was about a home at the beginning of the subdivision (about a half mile away) that looked seedy. I suggested, I, as a parent, could appreciate his concerns and encouraged him to check out the crime statistics for the area just to make sure this would be a safe place to live.
At this point, I suggested this might not be the perfect place for Mr. and Mrs. Wright, and I would certainly understand if they opted not to put an application in. After all, they didn't seem all that impressed.
Mr. Wright assured me they really did "just love" the house. But, would I be willing to consider giving him a break on the rent for him doing some unnamed odd jobs, which he assures me he is more than qualified to do. He listed about six things at this home that he could do to make it more appealing.
Appealing to whom? The next potential renter? Because Mr. Wright is definitely Mr. Wrong.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I Just Can't Shut Up
Poor Mr. D. He just brings out the bossy big sister in me. He is such a nice guy. And, I am sure he is one wildly-competent attorney too. But, none of that matters, because I can't seem to stop telling him what to do.
I have gotten to the point where I am afraid to call him, for fear my mouth will open, give marching orders and he--like the good Southern man that he is--will politely listen. He will then hang up and make a note to bill me for another hour for having to endure me for ten minutes.
He is currently working to find two past deadbeats who owe me money. So, ignoring all of the skip-tracing technology at his fingertips, as well as all of the database search services he has available to him, I suggest him maybe he ought to call the churches of these deadbeats and ask for a current phone number of their biggest deadbeat congregation member. I can even provide him with these churches, because most everyone I speak to in Alabama is very proud of their church affiliation--and they tell me.
I do realize how stupid my suggestion sounds. Mr. D. realizes it too. But, his mother raised him right. Instead, he says, "That's a great idea. I'll get right on that." With that, he hangs up and upps his billable hours.
I have gotten to the point where I am afraid to call him, for fear my mouth will open, give marching orders and he--like the good Southern man that he is--will politely listen. He will then hang up and make a note to bill me for another hour for having to endure me for ten minutes.
He is currently working to find two past deadbeats who owe me money. So, ignoring all of the skip-tracing technology at his fingertips, as well as all of the database search services he has available to him, I suggest him maybe he ought to call the churches of these deadbeats and ask for a current phone number of their biggest deadbeat congregation member. I can even provide him with these churches, because most everyone I speak to in Alabama is very proud of their church affiliation--and they tell me.
I do realize how stupid my suggestion sounds. Mr. D. realizes it too. But, his mother raised him right. Instead, he says, "That's a great idea. I'll get right on that." With that, he hangs up and upps his billable hours.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
He Must Go
Mr. Smith brings out the ugly in me. Today was my third conversation with him in a week. And, the third time I lost my temper talking to him. Yelling isn't dignified, but for some reason, I turn into a raving lunatic every time he calls me.
What it really boils down to is I expect him to do what he says. Which is amusing because he never does what he says. And, I know this. I am like Charlie Brown, waiting for Lucy to hold the football still.
Much to my delight, I called the lawyer and started the inevitable process. I should have done this months ago. Mr. Smith can go annoy someone else for a while.
What it really boils down to is I expect him to do what he says. Which is amusing because he never does what he says. And, I know this. I am like Charlie Brown, waiting for Lucy to hold the football still.
Much to my delight, I called the lawyer and started the inevitable process. I should have done this months ago. Mr. Smith can go annoy someone else for a while.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Master of the House
So, you want someone to rent your house? Tenants pick the landlord just like they pick the house. They want a landlord who is going to provide a clean, functioning home. As a landlord, you have rights and responsibilities. I actually consider myself a foremost expert on this topic. And, heaven knows I have made my share of mistakes. Here is what I have learned the hard way.
1. You, the landlord and owner of your home, are in charge. This is the essence of being an effective landlord. They are beholden to you. Don't forget this and, more importantly, don't let them forget this. You owe them a place to stay. They aren't doing you the favor. Your tenants don't have to like you, but they have to respect your role.
2. Treat the people who rent from you with dignity. Most people don't rent for tbe best of reasons. They may have come on hard times through divorce, death, a bad hand dealt by life or their own sheer stupidity. The fact of the matter is, most renters aren't doing it by choice. They, like everyone else, are working for their betterment.
3. Pay your bills. You have a contract with the bank. It is your obligation to pay your mortgage. I have sadly talked to four different families this weekend alone who are having to move because their landlords are in foreclosure. One of these tenants told me she will expect to see evidence the landlord is paying the mortgage before she agrees to sign a lease. Don't be a deadbeat, it makes all of us look bad.
4. A rental home is a business. Keep it that way. Do not invite your tenants over. Do not visit them socially. Things down the road might get ugly. And, it is easier to sort out the ugliness when there is little emotional attachment. If things don't get ugly and they move out, you can then invite them over for the summer barbecue.
5. If you give them a break, only do it to suite your purposes. And, if you give them a break, do it only once. Giving someone a break because you feel sorry for them will shift the dynamic of your relationship. You are in charge. Always.
6. Fix what is broken. Do it immediately. And, fix it correctly.
7. It is your responsibility to your community, neighbors and property values to find quality tenants.
8. When you find good tenants keep them happy. You want them to sign another lease; they want grass in the back yard. Do you want to spend two months with a vacant house? Good tenants are worth it.
9. Not everything a tenant wants should be done. I had a tenant who asked if they could rip out the carpet and install hardwood floors. No. If the renovation didn't go right, or they started but didn't finish the job, I was responsible in the long run. And, I certainly didn't want to pay for hardwoods in a blue-collar lower end home. Conversely, if I have fabulous tenants who want to stay four more years, would I consider hardwoods in that same house? You bet.
10. Abide by the four corners rule. If it is between the four corners of a piece of paper, it is legitimate. So, get it in writing. For example, if you say you will consider a rent reduction in exchange for them handling pool maintenance, write down exactly what you want them to do.
11. Bad tenants aren't worth the trouble. If they don't have the money for rent, invite them to leave. Don't mess with this. Get rid of them immediately. And, don't take their calls once you decide to do this. This isn't like a normal headache. This is like a knitting needle poking you in the eyeball. Move on and don't look back. I have learned is I always get better tenants each time I turn over a home.
12. Keep your word. Always.
1. You, the landlord and owner of your home, are in charge. This is the essence of being an effective landlord. They are beholden to you. Don't forget this and, more importantly, don't let them forget this. You owe them a place to stay. They aren't doing you the favor. Your tenants don't have to like you, but they have to respect your role.
2. Treat the people who rent from you with dignity. Most people don't rent for tbe best of reasons. They may have come on hard times through divorce, death, a bad hand dealt by life or their own sheer stupidity. The fact of the matter is, most renters aren't doing it by choice. They, like everyone else, are working for their betterment.
3. Pay your bills. You have a contract with the bank. It is your obligation to pay your mortgage. I have sadly talked to four different families this weekend alone who are having to move because their landlords are in foreclosure. One of these tenants told me she will expect to see evidence the landlord is paying the mortgage before she agrees to sign a lease. Don't be a deadbeat, it makes all of us look bad.
4. A rental home is a business. Keep it that way. Do not invite your tenants over. Do not visit them socially. Things down the road might get ugly. And, it is easier to sort out the ugliness when there is little emotional attachment. If things don't get ugly and they move out, you can then invite them over for the summer barbecue.
5. If you give them a break, only do it to suite your purposes. And, if you give them a break, do it only once. Giving someone a break because you feel sorry for them will shift the dynamic of your relationship. You are in charge. Always.
6. Fix what is broken. Do it immediately. And, fix it correctly.
7. It is your responsibility to your community, neighbors and property values to find quality tenants.
8. When you find good tenants keep them happy. You want them to sign another lease; they want grass in the back yard. Do you want to spend two months with a vacant house? Good tenants are worth it.
9. Not everything a tenant wants should be done. I had a tenant who asked if they could rip out the carpet and install hardwood floors. No. If the renovation didn't go right, or they started but didn't finish the job, I was responsible in the long run. And, I certainly didn't want to pay for hardwoods in a blue-collar lower end home. Conversely, if I have fabulous tenants who want to stay four more years, would I consider hardwoods in that same house? You bet.
10. Abide by the four corners rule. If it is between the four corners of a piece of paper, it is legitimate. So, get it in writing. For example, if you say you will consider a rent reduction in exchange for them handling pool maintenance, write down exactly what you want them to do.
11. Bad tenants aren't worth the trouble. If they don't have the money for rent, invite them to leave. Don't mess with this. Get rid of them immediately. And, don't take their calls once you decide to do this. This isn't like a normal headache. This is like a knitting needle poking you in the eyeball. Move on and don't look back. I have learned is I always get better tenants each time I turn over a home.
12. Keep your word. Always.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Don't Give Me a Reason To Write About You
I write a lot about the bad tenants I run into. But, the majority of the folks I rent to are actually good tenants. Or, they start out as good tenants, and then they give me minor heart failure and fodder for my blog. At any rate, good tenants don’t make for drama. They are primarily ignored except for once a month when I am holding their rent check thinking, Oh yea… that person does rent the house on Elm Street…
So, if you are looking to rent a home, here are a few pointers as to how to make your landlord happy. A happy landlord is more willing to cut you a break now and then and not raise your rent when your lease is up. A happy landlord is more willing to fix a broken widget—even if you are the one who broke it and they know it.
1. Pay on time. This will absolve a multitude of sins in the landlord’s eyes. You can keep your grass longer and maybe sneak a roommate in without the landlord paying too close attention if they are getting the rent on time. A place to live is pretty much a basic need. If for some reason you can't pay on time. Tell your landlord prior to the rent due date. Give a quick, and legitimate reason why (such as rent is due on Thursday, and you get paid on Friday) and then suck it up and pay the late fees. You caused the rent to be late, pay what you owe.
2. You cannot withhold rent because you are mad at your landlord. Whatever you are upset about probably doesn't cost a month's rent. And, in most states, judges frown on this type of thing. If you want to look legitimate go through the same process as everyone else.
3. Fix your own problems. If a towel bar falls off, put it back. There is no reason to call the landlord for the minor things. If you broke it just fix it. Leave the big-ticket items for us. You handle the loose door knob.
4. Unless the house has caught fire, call the landlord during business hours. Every potential non-landlord I have run into, talks about the same cliche'd dreaded call at 2 a.m. because the toilet overflowed. This is what stops them from investing. The middle of the night plumbing SOS has never happened to me. It has never happened to any landlord I have ever met. That said, we would appreciate if you would wait to tell us about the leaky faucet until at least 8 a.m. There really isn't much we can do before that anyway.
5. Clean up your own mess when you move out. We didn't ask you to bring all that stuff with you. Cart it out when you go. And, know if we are called for a future housing reference, we will gladly tell your potential landlords about this.
6. You are responsible for your pets and guests.
7. Get along with the neighbors. Here's a secret. I have probably met your neighbors. And, they will call.
8. Don't assume. You want a ceiling fan in your bedroom. Ask first. Most likely it won't be a problem. But, we don't take it well when we are handed a receipt for something in our home we may or may not have wanted. Or, we might have had a less expensive solution for the same outcome.
9. If your lease is for twelve months, don't decide to buy a home after six months. You have a contract. You are responsible for that contract. It isn't that expensive for a landlord to enforce it. Collections attorneys work on a contingency basis. We will get our money.
10. Stay in touch. If we have a way to contact you, we are happy. We sometimes need to pass along vital information. Give us a way to do it. So, if your e-mail stopped working, if you suddenly don't have a cell phone and your home phone doesn't have an answering machine, we won't go to a lot of effort to help you when you have a problem if we have had to jump through hoops to find you.
So, you see, quiet tenants aren’t necessarily good tenants. The key is abiding by the lease agreement and communication when something needs to be fixed. Landlords understand things happen. We are human. We are more willing to work with you if you give us a reason to do so.
So, if you are looking to rent a home, here are a few pointers as to how to make your landlord happy. A happy landlord is more willing to cut you a break now and then and not raise your rent when your lease is up. A happy landlord is more willing to fix a broken widget—even if you are the one who broke it and they know it.
1. Pay on time. This will absolve a multitude of sins in the landlord’s eyes. You can keep your grass longer and maybe sneak a roommate in without the landlord paying too close attention if they are getting the rent on time. A place to live is pretty much a basic need. If for some reason you can't pay on time. Tell your landlord prior to the rent due date. Give a quick, and legitimate reason why (such as rent is due on Thursday, and you get paid on Friday) and then suck it up and pay the late fees. You caused the rent to be late, pay what you owe.
2. You cannot withhold rent because you are mad at your landlord. Whatever you are upset about probably doesn't cost a month's rent. And, in most states, judges frown on this type of thing. If you want to look legitimate go through the same process as everyone else.
3. Fix your own problems. If a towel bar falls off, put it back. There is no reason to call the landlord for the minor things. If you broke it just fix it. Leave the big-ticket items for us. You handle the loose door knob.
4. Unless the house has caught fire, call the landlord during business hours. Every potential non-landlord I have run into, talks about the same cliche'd dreaded call at 2 a.m. because the toilet overflowed. This is what stops them from investing. The middle of the night plumbing SOS has never happened to me. It has never happened to any landlord I have ever met. That said, we would appreciate if you would wait to tell us about the leaky faucet until at least 8 a.m. There really isn't much we can do before that anyway.
5. Clean up your own mess when you move out. We didn't ask you to bring all that stuff with you. Cart it out when you go. And, know if we are called for a future housing reference, we will gladly tell your potential landlords about this.
6. You are responsible for your pets and guests.
7. Get along with the neighbors. Here's a secret. I have probably met your neighbors. And, they will call.
8. Don't assume. You want a ceiling fan in your bedroom. Ask first. Most likely it won't be a problem. But, we don't take it well when we are handed a receipt for something in our home we may or may not have wanted. Or, we might have had a less expensive solution for the same outcome.
9. If your lease is for twelve months, don't decide to buy a home after six months. You have a contract. You are responsible for that contract. It isn't that expensive for a landlord to enforce it. Collections attorneys work on a contingency basis. We will get our money.
10. Stay in touch. If we have a way to contact you, we are happy. We sometimes need to pass along vital information. Give us a way to do it. So, if your e-mail stopped working, if you suddenly don't have a cell phone and your home phone doesn't have an answering machine, we won't go to a lot of effort to help you when you have a problem if we have had to jump through hoops to find you.
So, you see, quiet tenants aren’t necessarily good tenants. The key is abiding by the lease agreement and communication when something needs to be fixed. Landlords understand things happen. We are human. We are more willing to work with you if you give us a reason to do so.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Do You Have What it Takes?
It seems finding quality tenants is a universal problem. And, I do mean universal. I am sure there is a frustrated landlord somewhere on Planet Zapwax who is just groaning as they show their house to another set of deadbeats, wondering if great renters can really be found. They can. I promise.
I am currently working in my other job, helping two different families find tenants for their home. In both cases, the families are calling with tons of questions, wanting to extol on my wisdom. And, in one one of these cases, I am the one screening the calls from would-be tenants.
So, today's column is about being a good prospective tenant. Please note, being a good tenant is a whole different yet-to-be-written column. This just covers getting the lease. After all, you may not even want the house. But, I guarantee, if you follow these simple tips, the landlord might just call you back and ask you to rent their home. And, for the record, I have called potential tenants back and asked what it would take for them to rent from me. I have never regretted this.
1. When you call about my home, leave your name and phone number. This shows some basics: like you have acceptable communication skills. I never return a call where the caller doesn't leave a name. I am the landlord. I am in charge. I won't get in a power struggle now over telephone etiquette just to have it escalate if something goes wrong once you move in.
2. When you call, remember your manners. I once told a man I spoke with for 30 seconds I would not rent to him. He roared, "that's discrimination! I'll sue you." I explained, "I don't know what religion you are, where you are from, what color your skin is. I don't know if you have a disability. But, I do know you are one of the rudest people I have ever met, and I won't subject myself to this once a month when the rent is due." Life is too short.
3. When viewing the home, arrive on time. Don't waste my time. Don't make excuses for being late. Don't expect the landlord won't notice. Your ability to comprehend deadlines now says a lot when the rent comes due. If someone else is showing the home instead of the landlord, they are probably doing it as a major favor. So, assume they have something better to be doing and don't keep them waiting.
4. How you treat your kids and your car is a good indicator of how you will treat my home.
5. How your kids act in my home, will tell me how they will treat my home. As a parent, my children know they are to wipe their feet before entering, stay with me unless given permission otherwise and they better have their best manners on at all times. They can--and do--act like crazed monkeys on their own time. Do your kids know this? Do you enforce this? If not, please don't think I will rent to you.
6. Dress for success. This isn't something you necessarily need to wear a coat and tie to do. Nice jeans are absolutely acceptable. Be clean, neat, hide your piercings and keep your tattoos covered.
7. The most information I will ever get from you will be in the time you turn in your application to the time I approve you for the lease. Yes, I want to know factual and relevant data, the names and ages of your kids, what kinds of cars you drive or what type of dog fluffy happens to be (and, if you say poodle on your application and six weeks later I see a pit bull that answers to fluffy, expect all hell will break loose because my lease covers this and it is grounds for eviction). Your life story is very important to me and speaks volumes you aren't aware you are communicating. A long-drawn out saga about how you lost your job six months ago, why you and your spouse are separating or how you need an extra room because sometimes you and your boyfriend have swing parties tells me what I have already guessed about you. You aren't for me. I am pleased if you tell me this, because it makes my job easier.
8. Part 1: Financial issues for you, are financial issues for me. And, I am going to run a credit check and a background check. So, disclose. I understand things happen. There are reasons people file bankruptcy. Homes are foreclosed upon because situations happen. And, I won't necessarily hold it against you. But, if I find out from your credit report and not from you, I will wonder what else you might have neglected to mention. Keep in mind, as a landlord, I understand you still need a place to live even though the bank has taken your home. So, if you can show me probable reasons to rent to you (such as income, references and additional credit history), I might be able to overlook a foreclosure.
9. Part 2: Financial issues for you, are financial issues for me. If you are late on your car payment, credit cards and other consumer debt and you don't have a good reason (and going on vacation isn't a good reason), I won't rent to you. How you manage your monthly expenses speaks volumes to me.
10. Ever been evicted? You won't be renting from me. Period. This is different from a foreclosure--which may or may not elict sympathy from me--because with an eviction, there is a landlord somewhere you have already burned. And, if you do it once, it is easier the second time.
11. Never mention needing the deposits broken down over a month or two. What you are asking is for us to start out on unequal footing. I am looking for quality tenants the way you are looking for a quality landlord. You aren't it.
12. If I can't read the application, I am not renting to you. I have arthritis in my fingers. I know when it is flaring up I have terrible handwriting. But, it is much better than my husband's chicken scratch. So, if I want something to look neat and legible, I go slower. You too can find a solution to filling out an application so I can read it.
13. If you manage to overlook a good chunk of the application, I will assume I can expect this type of flakiness once a month. Go bug someone else. I would rather keep my home vacant a week or two more than start down this road.
14. If you are turned down for the lease, I may not tell you why. It could be as simple as I rented the house to someone else just like you and they turned their application in first. It could be because I found out you are an ax murderer. My reasons are my own.
So, if you really want my home, show me what it takes.
I am currently working in my other job, helping two different families find tenants for their home. In both cases, the families are calling with tons of questions, wanting to extol on my wisdom. And, in one one of these cases, I am the one screening the calls from would-be tenants.
So, today's column is about being a good prospective tenant. Please note, being a good tenant is a whole different yet-to-be-written column. This just covers getting the lease. After all, you may not even want the house. But, I guarantee, if you follow these simple tips, the landlord might just call you back and ask you to rent their home. And, for the record, I have called potential tenants back and asked what it would take for them to rent from me. I have never regretted this.
1. When you call about my home, leave your name and phone number. This shows some basics: like you have acceptable communication skills. I never return a call where the caller doesn't leave a name. I am the landlord. I am in charge. I won't get in a power struggle now over telephone etiquette just to have it escalate if something goes wrong once you move in.
2. When you call, remember your manners. I once told a man I spoke with for 30 seconds I would not rent to him. He roared, "that's discrimination! I'll sue you." I explained, "I don't know what religion you are, where you are from, what color your skin is. I don't know if you have a disability. But, I do know you are one of the rudest people I have ever met, and I won't subject myself to this once a month when the rent is due." Life is too short.
3. When viewing the home, arrive on time. Don't waste my time. Don't make excuses for being late. Don't expect the landlord won't notice. Your ability to comprehend deadlines now says a lot when the rent comes due. If someone else is showing the home instead of the landlord, they are probably doing it as a major favor. So, assume they have something better to be doing and don't keep them waiting.
4. How you treat your kids and your car is a good indicator of how you will treat my home.
5. How your kids act in my home, will tell me how they will treat my home. As a parent, my children know they are to wipe their feet before entering, stay with me unless given permission otherwise and they better have their best manners on at all times. They can--and do--act like crazed monkeys on their own time. Do your kids know this? Do you enforce this? If not, please don't think I will rent to you.
6. Dress for success. This isn't something you necessarily need to wear a coat and tie to do. Nice jeans are absolutely acceptable. Be clean, neat, hide your piercings and keep your tattoos covered.
7. The most information I will ever get from you will be in the time you turn in your application to the time I approve you for the lease. Yes, I want to know factual and relevant data, the names and ages of your kids, what kinds of cars you drive or what type of dog fluffy happens to be (and, if you say poodle on your application and six weeks later I see a pit bull that answers to fluffy, expect all hell will break loose because my lease covers this and it is grounds for eviction). Your life story is very important to me and speaks volumes you aren't aware you are communicating. A long-drawn out saga about how you lost your job six months ago, why you and your spouse are separating or how you need an extra room because sometimes you and your boyfriend have swing parties tells me what I have already guessed about you. You aren't for me. I am pleased if you tell me this, because it makes my job easier.
8. Part 1: Financial issues for you, are financial issues for me. And, I am going to run a credit check and a background check. So, disclose. I understand things happen. There are reasons people file bankruptcy. Homes are foreclosed upon because situations happen. And, I won't necessarily hold it against you. But, if I find out from your credit report and not from you, I will wonder what else you might have neglected to mention. Keep in mind, as a landlord, I understand you still need a place to live even though the bank has taken your home. So, if you can show me probable reasons to rent to you (such as income, references and additional credit history), I might be able to overlook a foreclosure.
9. Part 2: Financial issues for you, are financial issues for me. If you are late on your car payment, credit cards and other consumer debt and you don't have a good reason (and going on vacation isn't a good reason), I won't rent to you. How you manage your monthly expenses speaks volumes to me.
10. Ever been evicted? You won't be renting from me. Period. This is different from a foreclosure--which may or may not elict sympathy from me--because with an eviction, there is a landlord somewhere you have already burned. And, if you do it once, it is easier the second time.
11. Never mention needing the deposits broken down over a month or two. What you are asking is for us to start out on unequal footing. I am looking for quality tenants the way you are looking for a quality landlord. You aren't it.
12. If I can't read the application, I am not renting to you. I have arthritis in my fingers. I know when it is flaring up I have terrible handwriting. But, it is much better than my husband's chicken scratch. So, if I want something to look neat and legible, I go slower. You too can find a solution to filling out an application so I can read it.
13. If you manage to overlook a good chunk of the application, I will assume I can expect this type of flakiness once a month. Go bug someone else. I would rather keep my home vacant a week or two more than start down this road.
14. If you are turned down for the lease, I may not tell you why. It could be as simple as I rented the house to someone else just like you and they turned their application in first. It could be because I found out you are an ax murderer. My reasons are my own.
So, if you really want my home, show me what it takes.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
The Go-To Girl
In the past month the following has happened:
1. While I was in Alabama, I got a call about Trusted's house. After talking to Tiffany for a few minutes, I told her it would not be a good idea to rent it. Yes, Tiffany could afford the rent. But, Tiffany could not afford the rent, utilities and the overall upkeep costs that comes with a larger home. What Tiffany needed was a smaller, modest place until she finished college. As much as I would be happy to help her out, I wanted to see her succeed.
Twenty minutes later, Tiffany called me back to ask me for advice on money management. She lamented that she knows many women who look for the easy way, such as government hand-outs, instead of earning a living for her and her children. She was angry, because she was working and going to school and wanted to make her life better. She wanted a better neighborhood and all of the goodies that come with hard work or government handouts. As we talked she confided that what she was really looking for was someone else to resolve her situation.
In reality, her situation was fine. It would take time. She was studying to be a nurse. She had a decent paying job. She budgeted and saved. She was raising her daughters in a way she could be proud of, instead of caving and going on welfare--which was an option if she quit her job. She had choices. We all have choices. I told her this, and she agreed.
2. Jack, my agent, called me a few weeks ago looking for a good air conditioning repair service. As Jack grew up in Birmingham, has been in the real estate market for twenty years AND has a fifty year old home, I was surprised he didn't know anyone.
3. My attorney e-mailed Jack last week wondering if I had any homes for rent, as he knew a guy who knew a guy who needed a place to live. Sadly, it didn't work out. Because anyone Jon knows or knows a guy who knows a guy, is most likely quality.
4. Yesterday I got a call from Angela. Apparently, her best friend's cousin rents a home from me. Angela rents her own home from someone else. She called because she wanted advice from a landlord's perspective. And, what did I think? And, what should the landlord do in her situation?
I would like to say this is unusual, but I could fill up volumes with stories of this nature. I have been called by tenants looking for ways to clean up their credit report. I have been asked advice on everything from starting a business to domestic violence. I have even been sought about matters of the heart. And, I even got a call from one tenant who wanted to know if I knew how to get to Colombiana, AL, a small town of 1,000 thirty miles south of Birmingham. Not only did I know where it was, I knew how to get there.
All these from folks I really don't know and don't know me. I don't know why someone in Arizona is top of mind for questions of these nature. But, apparently for some, I am the go-to girl.
1. While I was in Alabama, I got a call about Trusted's house. After talking to Tiffany for a few minutes, I told her it would not be a good idea to rent it. Yes, Tiffany could afford the rent. But, Tiffany could not afford the rent, utilities and the overall upkeep costs that comes with a larger home. What Tiffany needed was a smaller, modest place until she finished college. As much as I would be happy to help her out, I wanted to see her succeed.
Twenty minutes later, Tiffany called me back to ask me for advice on money management. She lamented that she knows many women who look for the easy way, such as government hand-outs, instead of earning a living for her and her children. She was angry, because she was working and going to school and wanted to make her life better. She wanted a better neighborhood and all of the goodies that come with hard work or government handouts. As we talked she confided that what she was really looking for was someone else to resolve her situation.
In reality, her situation was fine. It would take time. She was studying to be a nurse. She had a decent paying job. She budgeted and saved. She was raising her daughters in a way she could be proud of, instead of caving and going on welfare--which was an option if she quit her job. She had choices. We all have choices. I told her this, and she agreed.
2. Jack, my agent, called me a few weeks ago looking for a good air conditioning repair service. As Jack grew up in Birmingham, has been in the real estate market for twenty years AND has a fifty year old home, I was surprised he didn't know anyone.
3. My attorney e-mailed Jack last week wondering if I had any homes for rent, as he knew a guy who knew a guy who needed a place to live. Sadly, it didn't work out. Because anyone Jon knows or knows a guy who knows a guy, is most likely quality.
4. Yesterday I got a call from Angela. Apparently, her best friend's cousin rents a home from me. Angela rents her own home from someone else. She called because she wanted advice from a landlord's perspective. And, what did I think? And, what should the landlord do in her situation?
I would like to say this is unusual, but I could fill up volumes with stories of this nature. I have been called by tenants looking for ways to clean up their credit report. I have been asked advice on everything from starting a business to domestic violence. I have even been sought about matters of the heart. And, I even got a call from one tenant who wanted to know if I knew how to get to Colombiana, AL, a small town of 1,000 thirty miles south of Birmingham. Not only did I know where it was, I knew how to get there.
All these from folks I really don't know and don't know me. I don't know why someone in Arizona is top of mind for questions of these nature. But, apparently for some, I am the go-to girl.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Mr. D is a Quick Study
During my last visit to Alabama, I met with a collections attorney. The first thing that struck me was how young he was. If I had passed him on the street, I would not have figured he had been out of law school for six years with his own practice, but instead was just getting his driving permit.
Mr. D. was very nice and he and I hit it off immediately. Of course he asked me the standard question, "why Alabama." And, I gave him the much longer version of my pat answer, "Why indeed." The longer version includes boring things like the cost of the house to rent ratio and some other inane things of that nature.
Somewhere in our chat, Mr. D. then started telling me about his 1950s home he is remodeling. He is quite proud of his house. He bought low, in a great area. He has upgraded and remodeled. And, he naively declares, he will live there until the day he dies.
I didn't politely hold my tongue. I didn't even titter. No, I belted out laughter like I was in the audience of a Bill Engvall show (and in my defense, this was the day after I had run into Teresa and my tact hadn't returned).
"You aren't married are you?" I asked his puzzled face.
"No, why?"
I just smiled knowingly. "You won't be living there until the day you die." I then went on to explain how this will not be the case, unless he manages to hit the jackpot and his adoring future wife really doesn't mind the home he picked--without her--he can pretty much expect to be changing residences sometime in the first few years after he gets married. And, he will never hear the end of it until he does.
He considers this for a moment. "Well, I will make sure to let her decorate it any way she wants, that should make up for it." I just smiled, watching his expression change as he finally realized what he had just said. No, this would not be the only home he ever owns.
"Well," he finally said, "I am paying my house off early, so I will have a large down payment for the place she picks."
Mr. D. was very nice and he and I hit it off immediately. Of course he asked me the standard question, "why Alabama." And, I gave him the much longer version of my pat answer, "Why indeed." The longer version includes boring things like the cost of the house to rent ratio and some other inane things of that nature.
Somewhere in our chat, Mr. D. then started telling me about his 1950s home he is remodeling. He is quite proud of his house. He bought low, in a great area. He has upgraded and remodeled. And, he naively declares, he will live there until the day he dies.
I didn't politely hold my tongue. I didn't even titter. No, I belted out laughter like I was in the audience of a Bill Engvall show (and in my defense, this was the day after I had run into Teresa and my tact hadn't returned).
"You aren't married are you?" I asked his puzzled face.
"No, why?"
I just smiled knowingly. "You won't be living there until the day you die." I then went on to explain how this will not be the case, unless he manages to hit the jackpot and his adoring future wife really doesn't mind the home he picked--without her--he can pretty much expect to be changing residences sometime in the first few years after he gets married. And, he will never hear the end of it until he does.
He considers this for a moment. "Well, I will make sure to let her decorate it any way she wants, that should make up for it." I just smiled, watching his expression change as he finally realized what he had just said. No, this would not be the only home he ever owns.
"Well," he finally said, "I am paying my house off early, so I will have a large down payment for the place she picks."
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Their Lucky Day
I caved. Actually, it was a "sound business decision" according to my dear husband. But, it really boiled down to this: half a loaf of bread is better than nothing. And, as far as I was concerned, I already have enough major priorities this month. They can wait until August.
So, I made a deal with the Smiths. It required me to waste a good portion of my monthly allocation of cell minutes and two hours of my life I will never get back hearing the long drawn out saga. That boiled down to: come Tuesday, there will be a check for half of what they owe me on my doorstep. If not, I will just kick them out anyway.
But, here's the secret: I wouldn't have moved forward with foreclosing any sooner than Tuesday anyway.
So, I made a deal with the Smiths. It required me to waste a good portion of my monthly allocation of cell minutes and two hours of my life I will never get back hearing the long drawn out saga. That boiled down to: come Tuesday, there will be a check for half of what they owe me on my doorstep. If not, I will just kick them out anyway.
But, here's the secret: I wouldn't have moved forward with foreclosing any sooner than Tuesday anyway.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Living in a Tent with a 60" High-Def TV Seems Pointless
I find tenants who become friendly with me might as well put up a billboard telling me they will eventually fail. They want me to get to know them, like them and be willing to overlook minor transgressions. Early on, I did.
And, I would say 99 percent of the time getting to know a tenant ends ugly. Even ones where they have the best of intentions, ultimately, playing the friendly card ends in me asking them to leave. There are exceptions to this. In fact, right now I am working with a woman who I would like to see break this pattern. But, I know better and I am prepared for the worst.
A couple of years ago I met the Smiths. Mr. Smith chatted away about how great they were, how he could sing and how they so wanted a chance to be in my program. He barraged me with extraneous information about his family, sent me pictures of his kids and talked me up every chance he got.
Though this kind of attention was sweet, I have to admit, I have always kind of regarded him as a pesky little brother who I wish wouldn't call me. I dreaded hearing from him because I knew it was for some sort of bad news wound around a long-running saga. In fact, I would have traded all the photos of his family for one check arriving without drama. I am sure he has the best of intentions. I am equally sure he has a short term memory deficit when it comes to executing those intentions. He was my handyman for a short time--which if you keep up with this, know how that ended.
I knew I would be going down the foreclosure road with them several months ago. Miraculously they pulled it out. But before pulling it out I got long drawn-out stories that really break down to this: circumstances in his life changed. Yada yada.
Yawn. Everyone's circumstances change.
He paid his mortgage for a reasonably longer period of time too but then fell behind. Finally, after working to get caught up they just stopped. I would feel worse for them if they didn't have a Neptune washer and dryer, a nicer electronic equipment than my husband's and their furniture wasn't top of the line. I am not ridiculing them for their possessions, but I don't see how stuff can be more important than a place to live.
Personally, I would rather hang my wet clothes up outside (and recently did for several weeks) than miss a mortgage payment. I would rather sit on the floor instead of a couch than give my children memories of loosing a home. Who knows, maybe they bought that stuff in a happier time. Maybe their things were gifts. Who am I to judge?
I knew the end was near when they started telling me they sent their payment in, but I never received it. When I would mention I didn't get it, they wouldn't seem the least bit phased. "Oh... my payment didn't make it and the money is in limbo? That's so sad..."
When I think of the sane people in my life, NOBODY I know would sit back and not wonder what happened to a large chunk of cash. They would be stopping payment and raising hell to find out where their money went. When it gets to this point, I know I can foreclose.
The foreclosure process is different than the rental eviction and takes longer. I have to wait longer to serve the deadbeats and there are other legal factors. But, it happens.
Tomorrow, thankfully, the Smiths will answer their door to my process server who will hand them their walking papers. This will start the legalities and I will probably have to wait several more weeks to get everything accomplished. But at least I won't have to hear any more yada yadas.
And, I would say 99 percent of the time getting to know a tenant ends ugly. Even ones where they have the best of intentions, ultimately, playing the friendly card ends in me asking them to leave. There are exceptions to this. In fact, right now I am working with a woman who I would like to see break this pattern. But, I know better and I am prepared for the worst.
A couple of years ago I met the Smiths. Mr. Smith chatted away about how great they were, how he could sing and how they so wanted a chance to be in my program. He barraged me with extraneous information about his family, sent me pictures of his kids and talked me up every chance he got.
Though this kind of attention was sweet, I have to admit, I have always kind of regarded him as a pesky little brother who I wish wouldn't call me. I dreaded hearing from him because I knew it was for some sort of bad news wound around a long-running saga. In fact, I would have traded all the photos of his family for one check arriving without drama. I am sure he has the best of intentions. I am equally sure he has a short term memory deficit when it comes to executing those intentions. He was my handyman for a short time--which if you keep up with this, know how that ended.
I knew I would be going down the foreclosure road with them several months ago. Miraculously they pulled it out. But before pulling it out I got long drawn-out stories that really break down to this: circumstances in his life changed. Yada yada.
Yawn. Everyone's circumstances change.
He paid his mortgage for a reasonably longer period of time too but then fell behind. Finally, after working to get caught up they just stopped. I would feel worse for them if they didn't have a Neptune washer and dryer, a nicer electronic equipment than my husband's and their furniture wasn't top of the line. I am not ridiculing them for their possessions, but I don't see how stuff can be more important than a place to live.
Personally, I would rather hang my wet clothes up outside (and recently did for several weeks) than miss a mortgage payment. I would rather sit on the floor instead of a couch than give my children memories of loosing a home. Who knows, maybe they bought that stuff in a happier time. Maybe their things were gifts. Who am I to judge?
I knew the end was near when they started telling me they sent their payment in, but I never received it. When I would mention I didn't get it, they wouldn't seem the least bit phased. "Oh... my payment didn't make it and the money is in limbo? That's so sad..."
When I think of the sane people in my life, NOBODY I know would sit back and not wonder what happened to a large chunk of cash. They would be stopping payment and raising hell to find out where their money went. When it gets to this point, I know I can foreclose.
The foreclosure process is different than the rental eviction and takes longer. I have to wait longer to serve the deadbeats and there are other legal factors. But, it happens.
Tomorrow, thankfully, the Smiths will answer their door to my process server who will hand them their walking papers. This will start the legalities and I will probably have to wait several more weeks to get everything accomplished. But at least I won't have to hear any more yada yadas.
Monday, June 30, 2008
The Unshowable Home
It has always been somewhat of a challenge to get my homes showed. It has something to do with the fact I am 1700 miles from them.
Because this home is at the far end of the metro Birmingham area, I had been reluctant to ask one of the two former tenants to show this place. Trusted threw out an idea for me recently, why not just have one of his fabulous former neighbors show it? After all, they told me when I was there, if I needed anything to please just let them know. So, Trusted enlisted their help and the rest should have been a cake walk.
If it only could have been so simple! Neighbor 116 was supposed to show it on Saturday, but got into a bit of a row with a prospective tenant. He told me all the details and I really couldn't do much other than let it go and make a mental note that he would not be showing the home for me again. In all fairness, he probably saved me grief down the road--whether from a feud breaking out between the 116's and the McCoy's or from just trying to hunt down these folks when the rent was due.
At any rate, I won't be asking 116 to show it again. But, then again, he is on vacation starting today. He sweetly passed the keys over to neighbor 114. I haven't spoken to 114 about showing the place, however, apparently 116 did.
I met 114 while I was there earlier this month. 114 is a nice family man with one of those perfectly manicured yards. The inside of his home is also perfect--which blows me away because he has two toddlers. Anyway 114 told me (and also independently told 116 and Trusted) he is very concerned about who moves in next to him. I gather this means someone who doesn't own a lawn mower will be trouble.
Do I want 114 to show it? Probably not. I am envisioning 114 introducing himself to a prospective tenant, explaining about how everyone takes care of the yard and homes. Then goes and sizes up these folks on his behalf and tells them no the landlord will not rent to them because they had scuffed shoes.
Me: "114 why did you tell them they couldn't rent the house?"
114: "The husband had dirty fingernails."
Me: "He is a mechanic and just came from work!"
I bit the bullet yesterday and called Former Tenant #2. A delightful person, she and her family came over from South Africa a few years ago. I got involved with her because they could not get a loan for a home until her husband had been at his job for 12 months. He was on month 10, but they had found a home. They were fabulous renters, terrific mortgagees and have now refinanced. They don't owe me money. They never defaulted and I have a great amount of trust in her.
I sent her keys this morning along with a detailed note about how to show this home. In my instructions I wrote:
"Neighbors 116 and 114 may pop their heads over and say hello. It would be ideal if they did not do this when someone is looking at the home, but I understand you cannot control this. If this happens, please just be gracious and we will all hope for the best."
Because this home is at the far end of the metro Birmingham area, I had been reluctant to ask one of the two former tenants to show this place. Trusted threw out an idea for me recently, why not just have one of his fabulous former neighbors show it? After all, they told me when I was there, if I needed anything to please just let them know. So, Trusted enlisted their help and the rest should have been a cake walk.
If it only could have been so simple! Neighbor 116 was supposed to show it on Saturday, but got into a bit of a row with a prospective tenant. He told me all the details and I really couldn't do much other than let it go and make a mental note that he would not be showing the home for me again. In all fairness, he probably saved me grief down the road--whether from a feud breaking out between the 116's and the McCoy's or from just trying to hunt down these folks when the rent was due.
At any rate, I won't be asking 116 to show it again. But, then again, he is on vacation starting today. He sweetly passed the keys over to neighbor 114. I haven't spoken to 114 about showing the place, however, apparently 116 did.
I met 114 while I was there earlier this month. 114 is a nice family man with one of those perfectly manicured yards. The inside of his home is also perfect--which blows me away because he has two toddlers. Anyway 114 told me (and also independently told 116 and Trusted) he is very concerned about who moves in next to him. I gather this means someone who doesn't own a lawn mower will be trouble.
Do I want 114 to show it? Probably not. I am envisioning 114 introducing himself to a prospective tenant, explaining about how everyone takes care of the yard and homes. Then goes and sizes up these folks on his behalf and tells them no the landlord will not rent to them because they had scuffed shoes.
Me: "114 why did you tell them they couldn't rent the house?"
114: "The husband had dirty fingernails."
Me: "He is a mechanic and just came from work!"
I bit the bullet yesterday and called Former Tenant #2. A delightful person, she and her family came over from South Africa a few years ago. I got involved with her because they could not get a loan for a home until her husband had been at his job for 12 months. He was on month 10, but they had found a home. They were fabulous renters, terrific mortgagees and have now refinanced. They don't owe me money. They never defaulted and I have a great amount of trust in her.
I sent her keys this morning along with a detailed note about how to show this home. In my instructions I wrote:
"Neighbors 116 and 114 may pop their heads over and say hello. It would be ideal if they did not do this when someone is looking at the home, but I understand you cannot control this. If this happens, please just be gracious and we will all hope for the best."
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Coated in Confidence
"Surround yourself with people you wish to become." This advice came to me from Dan, 20 years ago, during a deeply-rooted philosophical conversation over a college drinking game of quarters.
Looking back 20 years later, I think I am starting to master this. In some ways, this has been the most challenging aspect of what I do. I have known for a long time, I cannot work with people who aren't assertive. If I do, I run over them. I need those who can not only give me useful guidance, but tell me when I am dead wrong. I have a strong personality, and I tend to scare those who confuse my opinions as correct instead of as just my opinions.
I don't want yes-men. I want reality-check men.
For example, my agent is selling one of our homes. I had my optimistic seller hat on. The hat controlled my vocal chords, saying things like, "it is a great house. Let's go ahead and raise the price $10,000 more." My agent ripped off my optimistic seller hat and pointed out the obvious. "It isn't worth $10,000 more." He knows what he is talking about. He knows how to bring me back to Earth--even if it is to fine-tune my line of thinking.
On a more menial level (but just as valuable), I have someone over in Birmingham now handling some of what Trusted did. And, she doesn't need to be empowered. She is already driving around, checking into my two deadbeats. She is taking down license plate numbers of cars parked in the parking lot, taking pictures of how the homes look today and reporting back. She even cleaned up the house in Leeds, and staged with a bit of wall decorations and furniture. She is the first to tell me she is loving this. Handling the general clean-up and some landlord duties I am not there to do is really is up her alley. She told me the other day she is now trying to figure out ways to take what I have hired her to do and make it a full-time business. How's that for empowering?
I am surrounding myself with people who aren't afraid of what they are doing. They are confident. That is what I want to achieve.
Looking back 20 years later, I think I am starting to master this. In some ways, this has been the most challenging aspect of what I do. I have known for a long time, I cannot work with people who aren't assertive. If I do, I run over them. I need those who can not only give me useful guidance, but tell me when I am dead wrong. I have a strong personality, and I tend to scare those who confuse my opinions as correct instead of as just my opinions.
I don't want yes-men. I want reality-check men.
For example, my agent is selling one of our homes. I had my optimistic seller hat on. The hat controlled my vocal chords, saying things like, "it is a great house. Let's go ahead and raise the price $10,000 more." My agent ripped off my optimistic seller hat and pointed out the obvious. "It isn't worth $10,000 more." He knows what he is talking about. He knows how to bring me back to Earth--even if it is to fine-tune my line of thinking.
On a more menial level (but just as valuable), I have someone over in Birmingham now handling some of what Trusted did. And, she doesn't need to be empowered. She is already driving around, checking into my two deadbeats. She is taking down license plate numbers of cars parked in the parking lot, taking pictures of how the homes look today and reporting back. She even cleaned up the house in Leeds, and staged with a bit of wall decorations and furniture. She is the first to tell me she is loving this. Handling the general clean-up and some landlord duties I am not there to do is really is up her alley. She told me the other day she is now trying to figure out ways to take what I have hired her to do and make it a full-time business. How's that for empowering?
I am surrounding myself with people who aren't afraid of what they are doing. They are confident. That is what I want to achieve.
Friday, June 27, 2008
The Non-Tenant
I had Trusted Tenant. Trusted was my eyes, ears and delivery service in Birmingham. The everyday tasks of my business ran much smoother to some degree because of Trusted. For that, I am truly grateful.
Trusted picked the house we bought for him to rent. He liked it and the place suited his personality. He liked the location, the high walls, to proudly display his stuffed deer heads, the layout of the home, which gave him a sitting room and a studio. His achievements were proudly hung on walls. He loved the jet tub, and he was nuts about fireplace, where I watched him a time or two sitting in front of, reading his Bible. As far as he--and we--were concerned, the house belonged to him.
Several months ago, Trusted's life got way too complicated. And, he finally needed to move out. I predicted this in April. I even told Trusted he probably needed to think about moving. Not because I was forcing him out, but because it would be in his best interest. Trusted disagreed, held on and finally came to the same conclusion.
One of the really nice things about Trusted is his sense of honor and loyalty. He left before I had to ask. And, before the courts insisted. He also left the place clean--including cleaning the carpets. He even continued showing the house until today. Showing the house became too much, as he moved 90 miles north of where he was. He called me today apologizing that he just wasn't in a place where he could do that any more. The fact he lasted as long as he did was a minor miracle in itself. I am grateful he was able to do it at all.
So, now I have an unrented house. Fortunately, it is in a nice neighborhood. But the rent is higher than most of my properties. Which helps keep out the undesirables. I hope.
While I was in Alabama two weeks ago, I met some of the neighbors. Today, I spoke with one who offered to show the house for me. Another is willing to take care of the lawn. So, there are options to getting this place rented. Hopefully rented soon. And, more importantly, rented to someone of Trusted's caliber.
As far as Trusted goes, he is currently hiding in his man-cave and has come up for air on two occasions to talk to me. Both times were about the house. I suspect I won't be hearing from Trusted about life in general for a while. He needs time to get his life back in order. I told him to call or write when he can.
In one of my brief conversations, with my husband's blessing, I told Trusted I wouldn't sell the house. Instead I would rent it out for a year and see where his life was at that time. Maybe he will be in a place to take his house back.
Trusted's home.
Trusted picked the house we bought for him to rent. He liked it and the place suited his personality. He liked the location, the high walls, to proudly display his stuffed deer heads, the layout of the home, which gave him a sitting room and a studio. His achievements were proudly hung on walls. He loved the jet tub, and he was nuts about fireplace, where I watched him a time or two sitting in front of, reading his Bible. As far as he--and we--were concerned, the house belonged to him.
Several months ago, Trusted's life got way too complicated. And, he finally needed to move out. I predicted this in April. I even told Trusted he probably needed to think about moving. Not because I was forcing him out, but because it would be in his best interest. Trusted disagreed, held on and finally came to the same conclusion.
One of the really nice things about Trusted is his sense of honor and loyalty. He left before I had to ask. And, before the courts insisted. He also left the place clean--including cleaning the carpets. He even continued showing the house until today. Showing the house became too much, as he moved 90 miles north of where he was. He called me today apologizing that he just wasn't in a place where he could do that any more. The fact he lasted as long as he did was a minor miracle in itself. I am grateful he was able to do it at all.
So, now I have an unrented house. Fortunately, it is in a nice neighborhood. But the rent is higher than most of my properties. Which helps keep out the undesirables. I hope.
While I was in Alabama two weeks ago, I met some of the neighbors. Today, I spoke with one who offered to show the house for me. Another is willing to take care of the lawn. So, there are options to getting this place rented. Hopefully rented soon. And, more importantly, rented to someone of Trusted's caliber.
As far as Trusted goes, he is currently hiding in his man-cave and has come up for air on two occasions to talk to me. Both times were about the house. I suspect I won't be hearing from Trusted about life in general for a while. He needs time to get his life back in order. I told him to call or write when he can.
In one of my brief conversations, with my husband's blessing, I told Trusted I wouldn't sell the house. Instead I would rent it out for a year and see where his life was at that time. Maybe he will be in a place to take his house back.
Trusted's home.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Ernie and Julie
So, I have this tenant who is waaaay too comfortable in MY home. She doesn't seem to think paying rent or leaving are options for her. So, for now, she is hanging loose and guarding my copper piping and air conditioner.
And, because of some sort of mishap from the Honorable Judge Somebodyorother, she doesn't have to leave for another few weeks. But, she WILL go. Last week, the news came from my eviction attorney who told me--for $200 an hour-- to "sit tight." And--I swear I am not making this up--"it will happen in due time."
As if I can do much else at this point! But, I can sit tight with my two friends who keep me company in times like this: Earnest and Julio, the makers of some fabulous adult refreshments.
The latest e-mail exchange with my attorney went something like this:
Me: I am afraid to go on e-bay and see my hot water heater and kitchen cabinets being auctioned off.
Her: That would be theft--criminal charges would apply (and then she added the smiley face icon).
I know she means well, but a smiley face icon and the lure of hiring another lawyer to handle a criminal case to go after Wayward isn't really working. After all, Wayward hasn't really cared up until now, has she? At this point, maybe Earnie and Julie can give me some better insight.
And, because of some sort of mishap from the Honorable Judge Somebodyorother, she doesn't have to leave for another few weeks. But, she WILL go. Last week, the news came from my eviction attorney who told me--for $200 an hour-- to "sit tight." And--I swear I am not making this up--"it will happen in due time."
As if I can do much else at this point! But, I can sit tight with my two friends who keep me company in times like this: Earnest and Julio, the makers of some fabulous adult refreshments.
The latest e-mail exchange with my attorney went something like this:
Me: I am afraid to go on e-bay and see my hot water heater and kitchen cabinets being auctioned off.
Her: That would be theft--criminal charges would apply (and then she added the smiley face icon).
I know she means well, but a smiley face icon and the lure of hiring another lawyer to handle a criminal case to go after Wayward isn't really working. After all, Wayward hasn't really cared up until now, has she? At this point, maybe Earnie and Julie can give me some better insight.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The Drunk Monkey
"Your mind is not a tool for success," was the the best nugget of wisdom I have received in ages.
This gem came from Matthew Ferry, success coach at the local real estate rah-rah session my broker forced me to attend this past week. As selling real estate is my other vocation when I am not wrapped up in the drama of the Alabama business, it is sometimes prudent to indulge my broker. And, as it is necessary to keep my current vocation for now, indulging my broker is infinitely easier than pounding the pavement looking for some job requiring me to wear panty hose every day.
With all the "if you see it, you can be it," motivation given by other guest speakers at other rah-rah rallies, Ferry's comment came as a major shock. What's more, I completely get it. Think about what your brain really tells you. You are fat, lazy or incompetent (surly my brain isn't the only one giving me this type of feedback??). And, think of some of the ideas you have considered. Ever have your brain say, "that will never work."?
Ferry called this kind of talk, the "drunk monkey." Meaning, that the drunk monkey will give you all sorts of feedback that makes no sense to the average thinking person--but you can relate to--and do. Illogical advice you wouldn't give or take from a friend, you would take from the all-knowing drunk monkey ("What do you think you are doing?"). Your drunk monkey has been acting as more of an ally than you might realize. It is easier to listen to the drunk monkey, because the drunk monkey doesn't want you to try anything new.
The drunk monkey's--your brain--main function is survival. New concepts, challenges and ideas challenge that survival. So, where something new or different comes along, your brain is busy telling you all the bad stuff related to that new or different concept. Your brain acts like every other organ in your body. It does what it wants, when it wants. Do you plan when you want to use the restroom or does it just happen? Do you plan when you are going to vomit? Every organ and biological function does what it is supposed to do on it's own schedule. Your brain is supposed to keep you safe. And, it does that by reminding you why risk is bad.
I started paying attention to how often my drunk monkey reminds me how difficult what I am do is. It constantly tells me that if I don't have tenant du jur pay me on the prescribed day, we can be in serious trouble. It reminds me of all the bad stuff going on in Alabama. And, it reminds me of this often.
Then I started ignoring my drunk monkey and paying attention to the facts. I started looking at things like I would present to my partner. We have money in the bank. A good portion of our tenants DO pay. We aren't teetering on the verge of failure this week if someone pays late. All of those logical, factual things the drunk monkey often neglects.
This week, I started a mental exercise: stop acknowledging the drunk monkey. It has been liberating. And, even though things aren't perfect. We aren't on the brink of disaster. More importantly, I am finding peace.
This gem came from Matthew Ferry, success coach at the local real estate rah-rah session my broker forced me to attend this past week. As selling real estate is my other vocation when I am not wrapped up in the drama of the Alabama business, it is sometimes prudent to indulge my broker. And, as it is necessary to keep my current vocation for now, indulging my broker is infinitely easier than pounding the pavement looking for some job requiring me to wear panty hose every day.
With all the "if you see it, you can be it," motivation given by other guest speakers at other rah-rah rallies, Ferry's comment came as a major shock. What's more, I completely get it. Think about what your brain really tells you. You are fat, lazy or incompetent (surly my brain isn't the only one giving me this type of feedback??). And, think of some of the ideas you have considered. Ever have your brain say, "that will never work."?
Ferry called this kind of talk, the "drunk monkey." Meaning, that the drunk monkey will give you all sorts of feedback that makes no sense to the average thinking person--but you can relate to--and do. Illogical advice you wouldn't give or take from a friend, you would take from the all-knowing drunk monkey ("What do you think you are doing?"). Your drunk monkey has been acting as more of an ally than you might realize. It is easier to listen to the drunk monkey, because the drunk monkey doesn't want you to try anything new.
The drunk monkey's--your brain--main function is survival. New concepts, challenges and ideas challenge that survival. So, where something new or different comes along, your brain is busy telling you all the bad stuff related to that new or different concept. Your brain acts like every other organ in your body. It does what it wants, when it wants. Do you plan when you want to use the restroom or does it just happen? Do you plan when you are going to vomit? Every organ and biological function does what it is supposed to do on it's own schedule. Your brain is supposed to keep you safe. And, it does that by reminding you why risk is bad.
I started paying attention to how often my drunk monkey reminds me how difficult what I am do is. It constantly tells me that if I don't have tenant du jur pay me on the prescribed day, we can be in serious trouble. It reminds me of all the bad stuff going on in Alabama. And, it reminds me of this often.
Then I started ignoring my drunk monkey and paying attention to the facts. I started looking at things like I would present to my partner. We have money in the bank. A good portion of our tenants DO pay. We aren't teetering on the verge of failure this week if someone pays late. All of those logical, factual things the drunk monkey often neglects.
This week, I started a mental exercise: stop acknowledging the drunk monkey. It has been liberating. And, even though things aren't perfect. We aren't on the brink of disaster. More importantly, I am finding peace.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Due Dates
Somewhere East of the Mississippi River and South of the Mason-Dixon line the Roman calendar is something of an unknown. The locals whisper among themselves at night while sitting on their front porch rockers about those of us in the City who know about such things, like calendars, clocks, deadlines and due dates. They have heard stories, passed down from generation to generation, like scary campfire tales, meant to make your skin crawl. But, deep down, they know in their hearts, it is only a legend. Surly the world cannot possibly be that rigid.
For Christmas one year, I got every one of my tenants an Arizona Highways wall calendar (I didn't have as many tenants at the time). Keeping in true Southern form, they all thanked me profusely, admired the fabulous pictures and made some idle comment about how facinating Arizona must be. It never occurred to me at the time, that none of these people had probably ever seen a calendar before, let alone know how to use one. There is only one time in the South: Due Time.
"Due time" is the Southern phrase for someday-I-give-you-my-word-as-a-Southerner-that-I-will-take-care-of-this-now-just-sit-tight-and-I-will-call-you-when-I-am-ready. This used to drive me batty. Now I just find it mildly annoying that due time exists at all. Tenants live on due time when the rent is due. Process servers only exist on due time. Attornies bill thier hours by due time. Resturants serve in due time. Traffic flows in due time. Everything in the South is on due time.
For example: On April 30, I sent my file for my wayward tenant to my attorney so she could serve Wayward on May 2. Wayward got served on May 17. The process server got to it. Eventually. Wayward is still living there as I write this. I figured the sheriff would be escorting her out by now. But no, because of a grand FUBAR with the courts she is living comfortably as a deadbeat in my home.
I know she is still there, because on Monday I called one of the two process servers I use and asked him to check on Wayward. He got to it on Wednesday. It doesn't work well for a city girl who abides by the Roman calendar. But, it IS how things are done. In due time.
For Christmas one year, I got every one of my tenants an Arizona Highways wall calendar (I didn't have as many tenants at the time). Keeping in true Southern form, they all thanked me profusely, admired the fabulous pictures and made some idle comment about how facinating Arizona must be. It never occurred to me at the time, that none of these people had probably ever seen a calendar before, let alone know how to use one. There is only one time in the South: Due Time.
"Due time" is the Southern phrase for someday-I-give-you-my-word-as-a-Southerner-that-I-will-take-care-of-this-now-just-sit-tight-and-I-will-call-you-when-I-am-ready. This used to drive me batty. Now I just find it mildly annoying that due time exists at all. Tenants live on due time when the rent is due. Process servers only exist on due time. Attornies bill thier hours by due time. Resturants serve in due time. Traffic flows in due time. Everything in the South is on due time.
For example: On April 30, I sent my file for my wayward tenant to my attorney so she could serve Wayward on May 2. Wayward got served on May 17. The process server got to it. Eventually. Wayward is still living there as I write this. I figured the sheriff would be escorting her out by now. But no, because of a grand FUBAR with the courts she is living comfortably as a deadbeat in my home.
I know she is still there, because on Monday I called one of the two process servers I use and asked him to check on Wayward. He got to it on Wednesday. It doesn't work well for a city girl who abides by the Roman calendar. But, it IS how things are done. In due time.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Getting Over Myself
Nothing helps me recover from Self Pity Fest 2008 more than action. I suspect this is why my husband lets me have my crazy way more often than he should. Why deal with me and my angst when he can schlep me to the airport, shove me on a plane and tell me to go spend the next five days doing whatever it is will make me feel better (preferably as long as it isn't underfoot making the rest of the family crazy dealing with me).
I am the first to admit I am difficult. And, as I get older, my control issues have become an inch shy of OCD. Ok, maybe not that bad. Maybe.
So, I went to Bama to get an idea of what I was imagining from 1,700 miles away. What I found wasn't terrible. Wasn't great either. It was a mixture of drama coupled with a dose of reality. Because I was pretty dead-on in a lot of my assessments, and I only had a limited Alabama window to handle this in, I was in action.
First there was the house in Leeds that recently became vacant. Bobby the locksmith took two hours to change TWO locks. He knew everything, his opinion was right and he was cheap. But, not two hours cheap. The house was not in great condition, but I have experienced worse. My biggest challenge is--and I mean this in the nicest way--redneck neighbors who are giving my hired help a hard time. And, these same neighbors stole the refrigerator from the back patio one afternoon.
I met with a second locksmith who did not take two hours to change five locks. He did it in record time: 20 minutes. He did spend another 20 giving me his opinion of the current presidential race.
There are also a couple of problem tenants who will soon be someone else's concern. But, I am sure they will come up in a later post.
There were my meetings with two property managers, where I summarily decided I have too many control issues and am too cheap to pay for a property manager. I still might need one. My partner isn't crazy about that solution either. It still may be something to explore.
I did hire former Tenant #2 to handle the clean-up. She has a great decorative eye for things and is already taking charge, Fen Shui-ing the home (Oh the pink wall is bringing in bad energy and have you thought about adding some window boxes with red flowers to the front of the house to make the energy flow better?).
I also hired #1 for several other odd jobs that suit her talents. ("Thanks a stack!" she sweetly said.)
I had lunch with one attorney and her para-legal. I don't think we talked business over our California Pizza Kitchen salads. It was a total girl-friend lunch, and I loved it. It was a perfect stress releiver. I also had a meeting where I ended up giving unsolicited love-life advice to another attorney. Young guy--who I swear wasn't old enough to shave yet. But, he is interested in handling collections. And, I am interested in letting him.
And, I had my dinner date--my only other half-way social event. A great dinner of cheese quesidilla at a little Birmingham pub. This was about 10 minutes after I met with Teresa and I was ready for a wine IV drip. This was with my agent, who has led a facinating life and is just fun to talk to.
The last major item was Operation Mrs. Kravitz--aptly named after the nosey neighbor on the 1970s Bewitched. Mrs. Kravitz always knew what was going on with all the neighbors and that is what I want for a neighbor for any rental. So, like I usually do, I walked around the neighborhood of my latest soon-to-be vacant home, introducing myself, gathering names and numbers of caring neighbors who don't want anyone from Leeds moving in. (For my own safety, I did not do this in the Leeds neighborhood. They weren't terribly friendly there.)
When I got back, I sent a five-page review to my partner, giving him the state of the company. I included all the trivia I gained while on my trip (but I did neglect to mention Teresa the somewhat unusal non-tenant). Let his brain have a bit of information overload for awhile.
I am feeling better.
I am the first to admit I am difficult. And, as I get older, my control issues have become an inch shy of OCD. Ok, maybe not that bad. Maybe.
So, I went to Bama to get an idea of what I was imagining from 1,700 miles away. What I found wasn't terrible. Wasn't great either. It was a mixture of drama coupled with a dose of reality. Because I was pretty dead-on in a lot of my assessments, and I only had a limited Alabama window to handle this in, I was in action.
First there was the house in Leeds that recently became vacant. Bobby the locksmith took two hours to change TWO locks. He knew everything, his opinion was right and he was cheap. But, not two hours cheap. The house was not in great condition, but I have experienced worse. My biggest challenge is--and I mean this in the nicest way--redneck neighbors who are giving my hired help a hard time. And, these same neighbors stole the refrigerator from the back patio one afternoon.
I met with a second locksmith who did not take two hours to change five locks. He did it in record time: 20 minutes. He did spend another 20 giving me his opinion of the current presidential race.
There are also a couple of problem tenants who will soon be someone else's concern. But, I am sure they will come up in a later post.
There were my meetings with two property managers, where I summarily decided I have too many control issues and am too cheap to pay for a property manager. I still might need one. My partner isn't crazy about that solution either. It still may be something to explore.
I did hire former Tenant #2 to handle the clean-up. She has a great decorative eye for things and is already taking charge, Fen Shui-ing the home (Oh the pink wall is bringing in bad energy and have you thought about adding some window boxes with red flowers to the front of the house to make the energy flow better?).
I also hired #1 for several other odd jobs that suit her talents. ("Thanks a stack!" she sweetly said.)
I had lunch with one attorney and her para-legal. I don't think we talked business over our California Pizza Kitchen salads. It was a total girl-friend lunch, and I loved it. It was a perfect stress releiver. I also had a meeting where I ended up giving unsolicited love-life advice to another attorney. Young guy--who I swear wasn't old enough to shave yet. But, he is interested in handling collections. And, I am interested in letting him.
And, I had my dinner date--my only other half-way social event. A great dinner of cheese quesidilla at a little Birmingham pub. This was about 10 minutes after I met with Teresa and I was ready for a wine IV drip. This was with my agent, who has led a facinating life and is just fun to talk to.
The last major item was Operation Mrs. Kravitz--aptly named after the nosey neighbor on the 1970s Bewitched. Mrs. Kravitz always knew what was going on with all the neighbors and that is what I want for a neighbor for any rental. So, like I usually do, I walked around the neighborhood of my latest soon-to-be vacant home, introducing myself, gathering names and numbers of caring neighbors who don't want anyone from Leeds moving in. (For my own safety, I did not do this in the Leeds neighborhood. They weren't terribly friendly there.)
When I got back, I sent a five-page review to my partner, giving him the state of the company. I included all the trivia I gained while on my trip (but I did neglect to mention Teresa the somewhat unusal non-tenant). Let his brain have a bit of information overload for awhile.
I am feeling better.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Lunatic Fringe
This particular trip came with a variety of twists. One of which was Wednesday night. I had planned to meet Teresa at her place of employment to go over her new lease. Originally, she was planning on moving in this weekend, but because of money reasons we settled for next weekend. She had already given me a non-refundable money-order deposit to hold the place. And, I happen to know, that at least as of Monday, we were clear on the amount of money she needed to rent out the house.
So, I go to meet her. She pops in my car, and we park in the rain. Niceties follow, with her telling me how much she loves the house. She drives by at least twice a day. She has already picked out the flowers for the front yard. And the raving goes on.
We go over the lease. A relatively standard lease with standard clauses, such as the number of people located in the house. What she would be responsible for. What I, as the landlord, am responsible for. You get the idea. But, Teresa is having trouble focusing from page one. I ask her to initial the number of residents. She blanks. I ask her again she complies. We get to the part where she has to pay to have a roof over her head and she hesitates, but eventually moves through it with gusto. Then, we get to the part where she is to actually sign the lease. She pauses for a moment or two, then signs.
Then she gets weird. It turns out she doesn't have the move-in money. You see, because she was so excited to actually have a place to live (she is living with her brother and he is getting married in a week and she needs to be gone by then), she bought a brand-new super-cool washer and dryer. So, she is a bit short.
She tells me this in a rush. Then she then starts humming to herself and rocking back and forth in the passenger seat. (and to think I had suggested we do this in the lobby of her place of employment. Perhaps it really was better this route). But, she really loves the house and can't wait to move in.
All tact and decorum leave me and I say in the stupidest voice possible, "so, are you going to take the house or what?" In my defense, I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. She could have been having an seizure for all I knew. But, she then scratches out her signature and tells me she will take the place in two weeks, not one.
News flash: I am not going to be back in two weeks for her to sign a lease. It isn't that we couldn't change this lease to say June 28. But, why cross out the signature when we could very well cross out the date.
We end this encounter with her telling me she will get back to me by Friday with a decision and for me not to rent out the house to anyone else. Next news flash: I am not waiting for her.
Yesterday Teresa calls me and tells me her brother is very motivated for her to leave, so he gave her the funds she was short. And, when could we sign the lease? Apparently, she wasn't cognizant of the fact she wigged out on me and I was unimpressed.
Here's how I look at it, if you want something from someone--such as a house or a job--you put your best foot forward. You act like you have it together. You don't mention you bought a new-fangled washing machine instead of a craig's list used one.
So, still annoyed about the whole car episode, I say to her something along the lines of I don't want trouble. I don't want to find out she hasn't managed her money accordingly on the date rent is due. Because the one thing that makes me angry is when tenants decide new-fangled appliances are more important than keeping a roof over their head. Ok, I didn't add the new-fangled appliances. But, it was along those lines.
She then tells me it won't be an issue and she will always have the rent money. Then, in the same sentence maybe her brother didn't give her the money after all and could she wait two weeks to move in. She wants the house but thinks she should get an apartment. And, would I hold the place for her until the 28th and when can she get her deposit back? I couldn't follow her. I would have preferred the humming. But, I latched on to the deposit being returned and told her I would get it back (Even though it was non-refundable. She didn't strike me as completely grasping this and I felt it was best to let go). I thought we were finally on the same page when she parted with, "I will talk to you in two weeks. Don't rent out my house." Um, nope, not even the same library.
Fast forward to today. I had had enough of Teresa yesterday. I am usually very patient, even with those who have bizarre personalities. But, this was a bit much. This morning, thrilled she was out of my life, I popped the money orders into the mail with a note wishing her luck (my public relations gene had gotten back from a two-day sabbatical). That means she and I are done right?
Teresa has called no less than 12 times. TWELVE TIMES. In all fairness, I didn't return her call right away, but you think she would at least let me get a chance to get back to her. Also, because I had already taken care of this, I stupidly figured it was done and there really was no reason to talk to her. And, because I stupidly figured this, I got a doozy of a call. I am still laughing about it.
Somewhere around two p.m., I got a call from a blocked number. This woman left a message, telling me she was an attorney and if I did not give the (non-refundable) deposit back she would seek legal action. And, I was to call this person immediately. This brings me to several points:
1. If you really are a lawyer, it is best to leave a name and contact number. It makes you sound more legitimate and not like a friend maquarading as an attorney.
2. Would a lawyer really go after an out-of-state landlord (who only has a published PO Box) for $500?
3. If Teresa really was this worried, why not just cancel the money orders? Geeze.
4. Does anyone out there know what non-refundable means?
I finally did call Teresa back and leave a quick voice mail. Feigning ignorant to the zillions of calls, I said something about having popped the deposits it in the mail that morning. I even said I had been busy and "I haven't checked my voice mail yet, but undoubtedly you have called." I actually feel pretty bad for making her worry about her deposit. Even if she is a bit odd.
Incidentally, I think I rented out the house again today. I told them there would be a non-refundable deposit to hold the place. She replied, "I expected that. No problem."
So, I go to meet her. She pops in my car, and we park in the rain. Niceties follow, with her telling me how much she loves the house. She drives by at least twice a day. She has already picked out the flowers for the front yard. And the raving goes on.
We go over the lease. A relatively standard lease with standard clauses, such as the number of people located in the house. What she would be responsible for. What I, as the landlord, am responsible for. You get the idea. But, Teresa is having trouble focusing from page one. I ask her to initial the number of residents. She blanks. I ask her again she complies. We get to the part where she has to pay to have a roof over her head and she hesitates, but eventually moves through it with gusto. Then, we get to the part where she is to actually sign the lease. She pauses for a moment or two, then signs.
Then she gets weird. It turns out she doesn't have the move-in money. You see, because she was so excited to actually have a place to live (she is living with her brother and he is getting married in a week and she needs to be gone by then), she bought a brand-new super-cool washer and dryer. So, she is a bit short.
She tells me this in a rush. Then she then starts humming to herself and rocking back and forth in the passenger seat. (and to think I had suggested we do this in the lobby of her place of employment. Perhaps it really was better this route). But, she really loves the house and can't wait to move in.
All tact and decorum leave me and I say in the stupidest voice possible, "so, are you going to take the house or what?" In my defense, I wasn't exactly sure what was going on. She could have been having an seizure for all I knew. But, she then scratches out her signature and tells me she will take the place in two weeks, not one.
News flash: I am not going to be back in two weeks for her to sign a lease. It isn't that we couldn't change this lease to say June 28. But, why cross out the signature when we could very well cross out the date.
We end this encounter with her telling me she will get back to me by Friday with a decision and for me not to rent out the house to anyone else. Next news flash: I am not waiting for her.
Yesterday Teresa calls me and tells me her brother is very motivated for her to leave, so he gave her the funds she was short. And, when could we sign the lease? Apparently, she wasn't cognizant of the fact she wigged out on me and I was unimpressed.
Here's how I look at it, if you want something from someone--such as a house or a job--you put your best foot forward. You act like you have it together. You don't mention you bought a new-fangled washing machine instead of a craig's list used one.
So, still annoyed about the whole car episode, I say to her something along the lines of I don't want trouble. I don't want to find out she hasn't managed her money accordingly on the date rent is due. Because the one thing that makes me angry is when tenants decide new-fangled appliances are more important than keeping a roof over their head. Ok, I didn't add the new-fangled appliances. But, it was along those lines.
She then tells me it won't be an issue and she will always have the rent money. Then, in the same sentence maybe her brother didn't give her the money after all and could she wait two weeks to move in. She wants the house but thinks she should get an apartment. And, would I hold the place for her until the 28th and when can she get her deposit back? I couldn't follow her. I would have preferred the humming. But, I latched on to the deposit being returned and told her I would get it back (Even though it was non-refundable. She didn't strike me as completely grasping this and I felt it was best to let go). I thought we were finally on the same page when she parted with, "I will talk to you in two weeks. Don't rent out my house." Um, nope, not even the same library.
Fast forward to today. I had had enough of Teresa yesterday. I am usually very patient, even with those who have bizarre personalities. But, this was a bit much. This morning, thrilled she was out of my life, I popped the money orders into the mail with a note wishing her luck (my public relations gene had gotten back from a two-day sabbatical). That means she and I are done right?
Teresa has called no less than 12 times. TWELVE TIMES. In all fairness, I didn't return her call right away, but you think she would at least let me get a chance to get back to her. Also, because I had already taken care of this, I stupidly figured it was done and there really was no reason to talk to her. And, because I stupidly figured this, I got a doozy of a call. I am still laughing about it.
Somewhere around two p.m., I got a call from a blocked number. This woman left a message, telling me she was an attorney and if I did not give the (non-refundable) deposit back she would seek legal action. And, I was to call this person immediately. This brings me to several points:
1. If you really are a lawyer, it is best to leave a name and contact number. It makes you sound more legitimate and not like a friend maquarading as an attorney.
2. Would a lawyer really go after an out-of-state landlord (who only has a published PO Box) for $500?
3. If Teresa really was this worried, why not just cancel the money orders? Geeze.
4. Does anyone out there know what non-refundable means?
I finally did call Teresa back and leave a quick voice mail. Feigning ignorant to the zillions of calls, I said something about having popped the deposits it in the mail that morning. I even said I had been busy and "I haven't checked my voice mail yet, but undoubtedly you have called." I actually feel pretty bad for making her worry about her deposit. Even if she is a bit odd.
Incidentally, I think I rented out the house again today. I told them there would be a non-refundable deposit to hold the place. She replied, "I expected that. No problem."
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Dante had it Right
I am firmly convinced one of Dante's Seven Rings of Hell has just got to be airline travel.
Why else would anyone purposely subject themselves to this type of torture. After crawling out of bed at 3 a.m., I caught my unholy hour flight to Houston. The airline cleverly booked my flight thusly, I arrive in Houston at 10:45, I leave Houston for Birmingham at 11 a.m. Isn't that sweet!
It didn't matter really, because I did make the connection. I then sat on the tarmac for six weeks waiting for the arriving planes to stop using the departing runway so we could take off. But, unbenownst to me, my plane wasn't going to Birmingham. Well, it was... it was taking a side detour to New Orleans. NOWHERE IN MY ITINERARY DID IT SAY WE WERE TAKING THE SCENIC ROUTE TO BIRMINGHAM! I am the first to admit I have control issues. But, that is beside the point.
Finally, after admiring Lake Pontchartrain from the runway, we headed North to Birmingham. We arrived six weeks late. And then, it was time to wait two hours (no exaggeration) for my %%$%#%^ luggage which Southwest would not take off the plane. Something about lightening and not letting the crew on the runway to unload the planes. Wimps.
I am here. I am yearning for Zaxby's--which always sounds much better than it tastes. One slight glitch. Um... the lightening storm has moved its way south and is now overhead. So, I am waiting until it passes before I head out.
A little later...
Zaxby's was good, but not that good. Gotta remember that for next time.
Why else would anyone purposely subject themselves to this type of torture. After crawling out of bed at 3 a.m., I caught my unholy hour flight to Houston. The airline cleverly booked my flight thusly, I arrive in Houston at 10:45, I leave Houston for Birmingham at 11 a.m. Isn't that sweet!
It didn't matter really, because I did make the connection. I then sat on the tarmac for six weeks waiting for the arriving planes to stop using the departing runway so we could take off. But, unbenownst to me, my plane wasn't going to Birmingham. Well, it was... it was taking a side detour to New Orleans. NOWHERE IN MY ITINERARY DID IT SAY WE WERE TAKING THE SCENIC ROUTE TO BIRMINGHAM! I am the first to admit I have control issues. But, that is beside the point.
Finally, after admiring Lake Pontchartrain from the runway, we headed North to Birmingham. We arrived six weeks late. And then, it was time to wait two hours (no exaggeration) for my %%$%#%^ luggage which Southwest would not take off the plane. Something about lightening and not letting the crew on the runway to unload the planes. Wimps.
I am here. I am yearning for Zaxby's--which always sounds much better than it tastes. One slight glitch. Um... the lightening storm has moved its way south and is now overhead. So, I am waiting until it passes before I head out.
A little later...
Zaxby's was good, but not that good. Gotta remember that for next time.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Lacing up My Boots
I have been up since some unholy hour this morning getting ready to kick some serious Alabama ass tomorrow. Thus far today, I have appointments set up with:
2 attornies
3 property managers
1 new tenant for move-in
1 agent
2 prospective tenants (for two different houses)
1 cleaning lady
1 locksmith
2 former tenants who were aforementioned in another posting.
1 tentative dinner date
I also have a surprise visit set up for a soon to be former tenant who doesn't know they are soon-to-be. And, there are a few other items on the agenda as well.
On top of that, one of my two process servers called today to offer to go with me--free of charge--to a supposedly vacant home where there is some question now of whether or not the people are living there or if they are just using the house as an over-grown closet. As I explained to my process server, I know I have the law on my side, I just don't want to find out the (former?) tenant has the trigger side of a shotgun on his side.
Being in action burns a lot more calories than wallowing in chocolate flavored self-pity.
2 attornies
3 property managers
1 new tenant for move-in
1 agent
2 prospective tenants (for two different houses)
1 cleaning lady
1 locksmith
2 former tenants who were aforementioned in another posting.
1 tentative dinner date
I also have a surprise visit set up for a soon to be former tenant who doesn't know they are soon-to-be. And, there are a few other items on the agenda as well.
On top of that, one of my two process servers called today to offer to go with me--free of charge--to a supposedly vacant home where there is some question now of whether or not the people are living there or if they are just using the house as an over-grown closet. As I explained to my process server, I know I have the law on my side, I just don't want to find out the (former?) tenant has the trigger side of a shotgun on his side.
Being in action burns a lot more calories than wallowing in chocolate flavored self-pity.
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