For the most part, Kirby and I have a reasonable relationship as long as we aren't talking on the phone. Which we never do because Kirby is totally incabable of returning my calls.
But, we do e-mail, with me fully understanding that e-mails at the month-end are not going to be answered in a reasonable amount of time. Kirby manages 200 homes. I know he is busy. Month-end is even busier.
In the past few weeks I have e-mailed Kirby a lot of questions: did the tenant on Fultondale sign another year lease? How far along is the repairs for the home in Moody? And speaking of which, how is the whole rental ordeal going for the home in Moody? Has the new wing on the home in Pinson been added? And I have a modest proposal for the tenants living in the home in Leeds. What do the tenants think of my idea?
All of these have been met by an empty e-mail in box. And, then all of the sudden Kirby wanted money for the home on Moody. I was happy to send what I owed, but it came with a small price. I wrote him, telling him I sent the check, and in return I would like an answer or three.
That doesn't strike me as too much to ask.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Today's Safety Tip
If you are a landlord, might I suggest getting a PO Box where rents and general correspondence will be sent to? This way your tenants don't know where you live if things go South. I am not saying anything will happen, but safety first. K?
Oh yes, even if wish to counter this post by proclaiming how you have some sort of fabulous direct deposit system in place, I still recommend not giving out your address to future former tenants. Just saying...
Oh yes, even if wish to counter this post by proclaiming how you have some sort of fabulous direct deposit system in place, I still recommend not giving out your address to future former tenants. Just saying...
Saturday, October 06, 2012
Empty Tank Of Gas and No Patience Left
So, this week two random people found me and wanted me to help them rent homes.
In case you are unaware of how much I hate using my real estate license for leasing homes... Never mind. It is close to the Holidays. I have a gaping hole where a dishwasher might someday again go (I really miss my dishwasher) and I can sure use the money--even if it works out to less per hour than I pay Buckaroo and Polly to wash the dishes (which is nothing).
Sam and Diane were an interesting couple. I spoke with Sam on the phone and he told me what he was looking for. The good news is he wanted Mesa. The bad news is the only places one can find homes in his price range are in neighborhoods I don't normally frequent in the daylight. And, in the event you think I am exaggerating, our first rental home was a block away from the house he and Diane fell in love with.
This ordeal bled into Friday morning at 7:45 a.m., when I met Diane at the bank parking lot near my home to exchange her application and credit check money for my smile. She and Sam had dutifully filled out the the entire application and all of the various questions such as, "is there anything that would keep us from renting to you such as a felony or eviction?" They had put "no" on both.
The other couple, Dan and Sandy, also called me about the same time this past week. They were moving here from out of state and Sandy was going to be in town for precisely 18 hours to find a home. They wanted anywhere but Mesa (they had heard how bad some of the neighborhoods are). The catch: they wanted a three month lease.
There is an expense involved with a tenant moving out. No matter how clean they may leave the home, there is turnover cost for landlords. Also, there is the cost of marketing the home and having it vacant once again. No sane landlord ever takes three month leases. And if they are desperate to do so, it is for a serious premium.
So, Friday afternoon, Sandy shows up with her mother--bless her heart. I am sure her mother is a lovely person. Her mother has never lived in Arizona, also just flew in for this excursion, is a self-professed negotiating maven and doesn't really have any interest in social graces. Momma was careful to let me know how things would be going down with her daughter's home hunting adventure--completely bypassing the me and reality of the East Valley rental market.
Given that I found precisely four landlords in a metropolitan area of two million who were desperate enough to buy my sales pitch about three month leases ("This way you will have a tenant through the Holidays!"), I didn't think there was much hope in securing a home for Sandy. Plus, three of these homes were in Arizona's second (or third, depending upon who you ask) largest city: Mesa.
It was the third home Sandy fell in love with. It was in the Mesa. It was cute. There was no negotiating price or terms. Sandy filled out the application, we sent it to Dan back at home for him to sign and we waited.
Meanwhile, back to Sam and Diane... Sadly, their credit check did not agree with them, there was an eviction reported. And, when I called them Friday afternoon to tell them there seems to be a bump in the road, and perhaps we could get to the bottom of this whole eviction thing, as it was certainly an error? Sam's answer was to fly off the handle, jump in his car and let the poor leasing agent at the apartment he used to live at hear how they have messed with his life by falsely filing an eviction against him.
Of course, I only heard snippets--all from Sam, who was very proud of his actions. The challenge was, he needed these folks at his former apartment to fix this error, and they weren't inclined to jump through any major hoops at 4:17 p.m. on a Friday after he had just read them the riot act. Go figure?
At the same time I was fielding calls from the property management company handling Sam and Diane, I was also politely chatting with Sandy and trying to stay on Momma's good side, while waiting for Dan to return the lease application. At one point, I just looked Sandy in the eye and said, "You've never had an eviction, right?" Sandy seemed somewhat shocked anyone would think such a thing.
The long and the short of this is Sandy and Dan were approved in mere hours. It was the easiest $1.28 per hour I ever made. Sam and Diane are enraged and don't know what to do. Hopefully they can channel their energies to stay out of jail long enough to find a home. At this time they are out of people to abuse, as it is the weekend and the property manager who has their application won't be available until Monday to field their calls.
I know what to do: get busy enough selling homes to fix our undercapitalized issues so that I can finally retire from rentals. I'm thinking these tenants are crazy.
Anyway, I had nothing but time and a full tank of gas this past week as I agreed to show homes.
Sam and Diane were an interesting couple. I spoke with Sam on the phone and he told me what he was looking for. The good news is he wanted Mesa. The bad news is the only places one can find homes in his price range are in neighborhoods I don't normally frequent in the daylight. And, in the event you think I am exaggerating, our first rental home was a block away from the house he and Diane fell in love with.
This ordeal bled into Friday morning at 7:45 a.m., when I met Diane at the bank parking lot near my home to exchange her application and credit check money for my smile. She and Sam had dutifully filled out the the entire application and all of the various questions such as, "is there anything that would keep us from renting to you such as a felony or eviction?" They had put "no" on both.
The other couple, Dan and Sandy, also called me about the same time this past week. They were moving here from out of state and Sandy was going to be in town for precisely 18 hours to find a home. They wanted anywhere but Mesa (they had heard how bad some of the neighborhoods are). The catch: they wanted a three month lease.
There is an expense involved with a tenant moving out. No matter how clean they may leave the home, there is turnover cost for landlords. Also, there is the cost of marketing the home and having it vacant once again. No sane landlord ever takes three month leases. And if they are desperate to do so, it is for a serious premium.
So, Friday afternoon, Sandy shows up with her mother--bless her heart. I am sure her mother is a lovely person. Her mother has never lived in Arizona, also just flew in for this excursion, is a self-professed negotiating maven and doesn't really have any interest in social graces. Momma was careful to let me know how things would be going down with her daughter's home hunting adventure--completely bypassing the me and reality of the East Valley rental market.
Given that I found precisely four landlords in a metropolitan area of two million who were desperate enough to buy my sales pitch about three month leases ("This way you will have a tenant through the Holidays!"), I didn't think there was much hope in securing a home for Sandy. Plus, three of these homes were in Arizona's second (or third, depending upon who you ask) largest city: Mesa.
It was the third home Sandy fell in love with. It was in the Mesa. It was cute. There was no negotiating price or terms. Sandy filled out the application, we sent it to Dan back at home for him to sign and we waited.
Meanwhile, back to Sam and Diane... Sadly, their credit check did not agree with them, there was an eviction reported. And, when I called them Friday afternoon to tell them there seems to be a bump in the road, and perhaps we could get to the bottom of this whole eviction thing, as it was certainly an error? Sam's answer was to fly off the handle, jump in his car and let the poor leasing agent at the apartment he used to live at hear how they have messed with his life by falsely filing an eviction against him.
Of course, I only heard snippets--all from Sam, who was very proud of his actions. The challenge was, he needed these folks at his former apartment to fix this error, and they weren't inclined to jump through any major hoops at 4:17 p.m. on a Friday after he had just read them the riot act. Go figure?
At the same time I was fielding calls from the property management company handling Sam and Diane, I was also politely chatting with Sandy and trying to stay on Momma's good side, while waiting for Dan to return the lease application. At one point, I just looked Sandy in the eye and said, "You've never had an eviction, right?" Sandy seemed somewhat shocked anyone would think such a thing.
The long and the short of this is Sandy and Dan were approved in mere hours. It was the easiest $1.28 per hour I ever made. Sam and Diane are enraged and don't know what to do. Hopefully they can channel their energies to stay out of jail long enough to find a home. At this time they are out of people to abuse, as it is the weekend and the property manager who has their application won't be available until Monday to field their calls.
I know what to do: get busy enough selling homes to fix our undercapitalized issues so that I can finally retire from rentals. I'm thinking these tenants are crazy.
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Random Spam--Head in the Sand Edition
Oh, you know you've made it big in the blogosphere when you get random spam comments that aren't about body parts or the medications they are supposed to support.
Here's my latest. It sure beats telling you about the humongous bill Kirby sent me to get my home in Moody cleaned up. I dare Ms. Kathy to call me. I double dare her.
"Your furnishings, utilize a little bit of duct tape to elevate and eliminate these. It is really tough to picture that."
"I really fondness for the matter you shared. Thank you pro rearrangement."
Here's my latest. It sure beats telling you about the humongous bill Kirby sent me to get my home in Moody cleaned up. I dare Ms. Kathy to call me. I double dare her.
"Your furnishings, utilize a little bit of duct tape to elevate and eliminate these. It is really tough to picture that."
"I really fondness for the matter you shared. Thank you pro rearrangement."
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
A Small Kindness
Attorney Flip sweetly sent me a newspaper article about the Late Attorney Jon's family. It is an old story, written several years ago, but it shed some light on the Late Attorney Jon's life. Just when I thought I was putting Jon's death behind me, this stirred up new emotions.
I am sure the Late Attorney Jon would not have defined our relationship as "friends." We were friendly and I would go as far as to say there was a fondness between us. He did non-legal counsel things like setting up up introductions to the likes of Jack--who is now my business partner--and Legal Eagle. Back when we had a very different economy, the Late Attorney Jon helped me get in front of a big-time SEC lawyer and he was crucial in assisting me in fine-tuning the business plan we were promoting. So, though we weren't friends, per se, the Late Attorney Jon went out of his way to make me feel welcome in the South.
For that, I will always be grateful.
However, I have struggled with my right to grieve about Attorney Jon's death. I doubt he would have felt this way about my death if the situation were reversed. But, I do grieve. I think when one leaves this life the way Jon did, there are always unanswered questions for those who are left behind. I think of Mrs. Late Attorney Jon and their daughters and hope they find a way to be whole again. I think of Jack, the Late Attorney Jon's friend of 30+ years and hope he and the very dear Mrs. Jack are coping.
When I was in Birmingham this summer, Jack and Mrs. Jack talked with me about the Late Attorney Jon. At the time, I didn't want to share. I was specifically in Birmingham to take care of some business Jon didn't finish and I found it to be a slippery slope to discuss such things with Jack, as there was no way to do so without suggesting Attorney Jon had dropped the ball on me--big time (and I prefer not to think about the fact that the Late Attorney Jon was remiss with my files).
When I met with Flip last summer, I pointed out that the rest of those in Birmingham who knew Jon had already been given a chance to grieve together. For almost a year, they were able to share stories, smile and cry all in Jon's name. I was all by myself in Arizona. There was nobody for me to share stories, smile and cry with (Though they spoke on the phone once or twice, Marty Sunshine never physically met the Late Attorney Jon.).
In many ways, my trip last summer was to help me deal with my grief. It wasn't intended to be that way, it just happened. One of the more bizarre events that occurred was that I accidentally found Jon's final resting place while I was driving around Birmingham. As I was flying back to Phoenix after that trip, I got a lump in my throat and shed a few tears, probably for the first time in Jon's honor. And though I must have been quite a sight on the plane, I didn't care. The wave of emotions were released.
The article Flip kindly sent me was insightful. It gave me some idea of what kinds of challenges Jon had as a young adult. And in some ways, just the fact that Flip sent it to me, made me feel like I am not grieving alone any more.
I am sure the Late Attorney Jon would not have defined our relationship as "friends." We were friendly and I would go as far as to say there was a fondness between us. He did non-legal counsel things like setting up up introductions to the likes of Jack--who is now my business partner--and Legal Eagle. Back when we had a very different economy, the Late Attorney Jon helped me get in front of a big-time SEC lawyer and he was crucial in assisting me in fine-tuning the business plan we were promoting. So, though we weren't friends, per se, the Late Attorney Jon went out of his way to make me feel welcome in the South.
For that, I will always be grateful.
However, I have struggled with my right to grieve about Attorney Jon's death. I doubt he would have felt this way about my death if the situation were reversed. But, I do grieve. I think when one leaves this life the way Jon did, there are always unanswered questions for those who are left behind. I think of Mrs. Late Attorney Jon and their daughters and hope they find a way to be whole again. I think of Jack, the Late Attorney Jon's friend of 30+ years and hope he and the very dear Mrs. Jack are coping.
When I was in Birmingham this summer, Jack and Mrs. Jack talked with me about the Late Attorney Jon. At the time, I didn't want to share. I was specifically in Birmingham to take care of some business Jon didn't finish and I found it to be a slippery slope to discuss such things with Jack, as there was no way to do so without suggesting Attorney Jon had dropped the ball on me--big time (and I prefer not to think about the fact that the Late Attorney Jon was remiss with my files).
When I met with Flip last summer, I pointed out that the rest of those in Birmingham who knew Jon had already been given a chance to grieve together. For almost a year, they were able to share stories, smile and cry all in Jon's name. I was all by myself in Arizona. There was nobody for me to share stories, smile and cry with (Though they spoke on the phone once or twice, Marty Sunshine never physically met the Late Attorney Jon.).
In many ways, my trip last summer was to help me deal with my grief. It wasn't intended to be that way, it just happened. One of the more bizarre events that occurred was that I accidentally found Jon's final resting place while I was driving around Birmingham. As I was flying back to Phoenix after that trip, I got a lump in my throat and shed a few tears, probably for the first time in Jon's honor. And though I must have been quite a sight on the plane, I didn't care. The wave of emotions were released.
The article Flip kindly sent me was insightful. It gave me some idea of what kinds of challenges Jon had as a young adult. And in some ways, just the fact that Flip sent it to me, made me feel like I am not grieving alone any more.
Monday, October 01, 2012
The Guard Dog
Ms. Kathy frantically called me yesterday. She wanted to tell me someone was breaking into my home--she could see it all the way from her sister's house next door.
And what should she do?
Of course, when she called, I saw it was her and let her message go to voice mail. So, after I heard what she had to say I instantly called back and asked her to call the police if someone was breaking in.
When I pressed further, I found out that the home probably wasn't really being broken into. What was really happening was presumably that some real estate agent was showing the home and Ms. Kathy (or her sister) didn't like the looks of the man, mentioning several times to me the man in question didn't "speak English." Ms. Kathy made some sort of comment about how her sister didn't want undesirable people living next door to her and one can never be too careful.
Ain't that the truth! Who would want paying, law abiding citizens living next door, keeping up the property and paying the rent on time?! Speaking of which, Ms. Kathy also mentioned she hadn't "gotten around" to mowing the lawn before she left. I guess the two and a half months of living there for free was too taxing for her.
But the real reason for Ms. Kathy's call was to tell me Carolsue wasn't very nice to her last week. I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this knowledge. When Carolsue talked to Ms. Kathy last week, she was a heck of a lot more charitable than I was at that particular moment. And, more to the point, Carolsue is a lot scarier and Ms. Kathy took her seriously. Ms. Kathy certainly wasn't taking me seriously. However, I didn't share all this with Ms. Kathy. Instead, I gave her a dull "uh-huh," as there wasn't much else to say. Carolsue was effective; Ms. Kathy moved out. (Thank you Carolsue.)
Which brings me to Part B of Ms. Kathy's agenda, she innocently asked why exactly she had to move last weekend if I haven't rented out the home just yet?
I truly did not want to go into great details about how Ms. Kathy is stealing from me by living in my home for free. Instead, I changed the subject, mentioning the apartment complex called asking for a reference, and would she be moving this week to her new home? I never did get a straight answer from Ms. Kathy on that one. She said something about the apartment complex needing more "documentation" and left it at that. I'm guessing there is much more to that story--but I may never find out.
In the mean-time, I need to play nice with Ms. Kathy. She lives next door, and apparently is planning on defending my honor by driving off anyone she doesn't feel looks desirable.
And what should she do?
Of course, when she called, I saw it was her and let her message go to voice mail. So, after I heard what she had to say I instantly called back and asked her to call the police if someone was breaking in.
When I pressed further, I found out that the home probably wasn't really being broken into. What was really happening was presumably that some real estate agent was showing the home and Ms. Kathy (or her sister) didn't like the looks of the man, mentioning several times to me the man in question didn't "speak English." Ms. Kathy made some sort of comment about how her sister didn't want undesirable people living next door to her and one can never be too careful.
Ain't that the truth! Who would want paying, law abiding citizens living next door, keeping up the property and paying the rent on time?! Speaking of which, Ms. Kathy also mentioned she hadn't "gotten around" to mowing the lawn before she left. I guess the two and a half months of living there for free was too taxing for her.
But the real reason for Ms. Kathy's call was to tell me Carolsue wasn't very nice to her last week. I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this knowledge. When Carolsue talked to Ms. Kathy last week, she was a heck of a lot more charitable than I was at that particular moment. And, more to the point, Carolsue is a lot scarier and Ms. Kathy took her seriously. Ms. Kathy certainly wasn't taking me seriously. However, I didn't share all this with Ms. Kathy. Instead, I gave her a dull "uh-huh," as there wasn't much else to say. Carolsue was effective; Ms. Kathy moved out. (Thank you Carolsue.)
Which brings me to Part B of Ms. Kathy's agenda, she innocently asked why exactly she had to move last weekend if I haven't rented out the home just yet?
I truly did not want to go into great details about how Ms. Kathy is stealing from me by living in my home for free. Instead, I changed the subject, mentioning the apartment complex called asking for a reference, and would she be moving this week to her new home? I never did get a straight answer from Ms. Kathy on that one. She said something about the apartment complex needing more "documentation" and left it at that. I'm guessing there is much more to that story--but I may never find out.
In the mean-time, I need to play nice with Ms. Kathy. She lives next door, and apparently is planning on defending my honor by driving off anyone she doesn't feel looks desirable.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Random Spam Comment
This was in my SPAM comments folder for this blog.
"Great post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I'd be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further."
I think I have elaborated enough, thank you.
"Great post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I'd be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further."
I think I have elaborated enough, thank you.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Flip Update
Flip, the attorney I went to visit in Birmingham last summer, is taking care of some extreme legalities the Late Attorney Jon neglected to handle before his untimely passing. For those of you who aren't up to speed on Flip, essentially, it took an e-mail introduction from Legal Eagle, repeated phone calls from me for three weeks, a 20 minute wait in his office and another 20 minutes of selling myself before Flip took out a legal pad, looked me in the eye and gave me the time of day.
What I found out later on (indirectly from Flip) is that had I invoked the name of Jack--my Birmingham business partner--I probably could have bypassed the first three weeks and forty minutes of pestering Flip and got straight to business. Flip and Jack, apparently, are good friends.
That doesn't surprise me. Jack knows everyone. Even though it is about the size of Mesa AZ, in many ways Birmingham is a very small town. I have never discussed my working with Flip with Jack, but word has gotten back to me Jack is aware I hired Flip.
Anyway, back to Flip. Flip took care of Bizarrely Legal Hassle #1 with ease and a bill that is roughly the equivalent of the national debt. He is still working on Even More Bizarrely Legal Hassle #2. It is taking some more doing, but I am confident it will be resolved.
In addition to Flip handling these items, he sent me an e-mail two weeks ago, completely out of the blue, offering to be my agent of record. A tremendous honor, and he didn't have to do it. Granted, he probably doesn't think it is that big a deal, but he doesn't read this blog. Or, for that matter the items that aren't published in this blog.
I am so grateful for Flip. He has put my mind at ease and has a level of compassion that blows me away--the kind of compassion I found in the Late Attorney Jon. And speaking of Jon, the other day Flip sent me an e-mail saying he found a newspaper article about the Late Attorney Jon he thought I might like to read. Would it be ok if he sent it to me? Yes, actually I would like to read it. But more than that, I am beyond grateful he is flipping over backwards to help me.
What I found out later on (indirectly from Flip) is that had I invoked the name of Jack--my Birmingham business partner--I probably could have bypassed the first three weeks and forty minutes of pestering Flip and got straight to business. Flip and Jack, apparently, are good friends.
That doesn't surprise me. Jack knows everyone. Even though it is about the size of Mesa AZ, in many ways Birmingham is a very small town. I have never discussed my working with Flip with Jack, but word has gotten back to me Jack is aware I hired Flip.
Anyway, back to Flip. Flip took care of Bizarrely Legal Hassle #1 with ease and a bill that is roughly the equivalent of the national debt. He is still working on Even More Bizarrely Legal Hassle #2. It is taking some more doing, but I am confident it will be resolved.
In addition to Flip handling these items, he sent me an e-mail two weeks ago, completely out of the blue, offering to be my agent of record. A tremendous honor, and he didn't have to do it. Granted, he probably doesn't think it is that big a deal, but he doesn't read this blog. Or, for that matter the items that aren't published in this blog.
I am so grateful for Flip. He has put my mind at ease and has a level of compassion that blows me away--the kind of compassion I found in the Late Attorney Jon. And speaking of Jon, the other day Flip sent me an e-mail saying he found a newspaper article about the Late Attorney Jon he thought I might like to read. Would it be ok if he sent it to me? Yes, actually I would like to read it. But more than that, I am beyond grateful he is flipping over backwards to help me.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
A Not-So Psychic Prediction
Let me tell you about my pal Lisa.
Lisa and I have been friendly for a zillion years. I adore her. About once every six months or so she calls me, asking me to run comps on her home or just asks a basic real estate question.
About a year ago, Lisa and her husband inherited a spare home in the greater East Valley metropolitan areas of Phoenix. Enter Friend of Lisa's.
Last summer, Friend of Lisa's needed a place to crash for just a few weeks. Would it be ok to use Lisa's spare home? Lisa's Hubby obliged. After all, they weren't using it. Why not help a friend out?
For those of you familiar with the Roman calendar, you can now see we are no longer into summer. And for that matter, just a "few weeks" have painfully come and gone with Friend still hanging out, stretching her few weeks to several months.
Last I heard, Lisa and Hubby have reached some sort of agreement with Friend of Lisa's that Friend will now be moving out early November. Of course, none of this is in writing. Lisa and her Husband were handling this with the Friend with the best of intentions when this all started.
Though we weren't discussing any of this when Lisa called me to chat today, I threw in my two cents anyway. "If you have convince your friend to move, come early November, you will need to evict her. The first part of this is by sending her a 30 day notice. Today." I said.
"Evict?" Lisa gasped.
I then proceeded--without solicitation--to explain all the things that can go wrong with the implied agreement they have in place. One of which is that from the two minute background I had just heard, I was pretty sure Lisa's friend isn't as loyal to Lisa as Lisa is to her. Lisa's friend probably wants another month to figure out where she is going to go next--which is what she has done for the past three months.
And then, when push comes to shove come early November, Lisa's friend will probably give Lisa some sort of sob story about why she needs to stay longer. That's why Lisa needs to start putting everything in writing--including a 30 day notice--starting now.
All of this sounds like a bad B-movie plot to Lisa. I am not saying she ignored my advice, but I don't think she took copious notes either.
Now then, I don't have a crystal ball here, but I would be willing to bet this won't be the last time I will be blogging about Lisa's situation.
Lisa and I have been friendly for a zillion years. I adore her. About once every six months or so she calls me, asking me to run comps on her home or just asks a basic real estate question.
About a year ago, Lisa and her husband inherited a spare home in the greater East Valley metropolitan areas of Phoenix. Enter Friend of Lisa's.
Last summer, Friend of Lisa's needed a place to crash for just a few weeks. Would it be ok to use Lisa's spare home? Lisa's Hubby obliged. After all, they weren't using it. Why not help a friend out?
For those of you familiar with the Roman calendar, you can now see we are no longer into summer. And for that matter, just a "few weeks" have painfully come and gone with Friend still hanging out, stretching her few weeks to several months.
Last I heard, Lisa and Hubby have reached some sort of agreement with Friend of Lisa's that Friend will now be moving out early November. Of course, none of this is in writing. Lisa and her Husband were handling this with the Friend with the best of intentions when this all started.
Though we weren't discussing any of this when Lisa called me to chat today, I threw in my two cents anyway. "If you have convince your friend to move, come early November, you will need to evict her. The first part of this is by sending her a 30 day notice. Today." I said.
"Evict?" Lisa gasped.
I then proceeded--without solicitation--to explain all the things that can go wrong with the implied agreement they have in place. One of which is that from the two minute background I had just heard, I was pretty sure Lisa's friend isn't as loyal to Lisa as Lisa is to her. Lisa's friend probably wants another month to figure out where she is going to go next--which is what she has done for the past three months.
And then, when push comes to shove come early November, Lisa's friend will probably give Lisa some sort of sob story about why she needs to stay longer. That's why Lisa needs to start putting everything in writing--including a 30 day notice--starting now.
All of this sounds like a bad B-movie plot to Lisa. I am not saying she ignored my advice, but I don't think she took copious notes either.
Now then, I don't have a crystal ball here, but I would be willing to bet this won't be the last time I will be blogging about Lisa's situation.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
You've Now Read It All
I got a phone call on Tuesday from some lady named Ellen. She called about sixteen times in 20 minutes, I guess, figuring if I didn't answer the first fifteen times, perhaps it was time to finally leave a message.
And actually, I didn't answer the phone because I saw the caller was from Moody Alabama. I know precisely two people in Moody Alabama: Mr. Smith and Ms. Kathy. And, bless their hearts, I don't really feel like chatting with either of them.
Ellen's message was simply that Ms. Kathy had given me as a landlord reference and would I please call Ellen back with the scoop. I give Ms. Kathy props for nerve. After all, why not just ask a friend, or for that matter, a random stranger to vouch for her?
And, what exactly am I supposed to say? I kicked her out because she only paid on time twice in the entire three and a half years she rented from me? She is a victim of everyone else and takes zero responsibility for her life? She gets a social security check every month for four times the amount of her rent, but couldn't figure out how to give me what she was contractually obligated to pay?
You know, I once had someone use me as a job reference under similar circumstances. It was a political thing at the time, the person in question is a very good friend of the family. Not vouching for this person as a job reference would have caused future pain and heart ache. At the time, when asked, I said that the family friend was "innovative" and an "outside the box thinker". Which were both true, because I was the last person she logically should have picked for a reference.
In Ms. Kathy's case, it is also a bit political and, it is probably in my best interest for us to part friends. So, I waited until after hours and called Ellen back leaving a message. I said Ms. Kathy had rented from me for three and a half years. And, then I said how much the rent was every month. Then I made some sort of "I hope this answers all your questions. Thank you," noises and hung up. At no time in my voice mail did I say say, if she had any questions to call me back.
Hopefully Ellen doesn't call back and ask for more detail. Because I am not sure saying Ms. Kathy is innovative will sound like high praise for her rental history.
And actually, I didn't answer the phone because I saw the caller was from Moody Alabama. I know precisely two people in Moody Alabama: Mr. Smith and Ms. Kathy. And, bless their hearts, I don't really feel like chatting with either of them.
Ellen's message was simply that Ms. Kathy had given me as a landlord reference and would I please call Ellen back with the scoop. I give Ms. Kathy props for nerve. After all, why not just ask a friend, or for that matter, a random stranger to vouch for her?
And, what exactly am I supposed to say? I kicked her out because she only paid on time twice in the entire three and a half years she rented from me? She is a victim of everyone else and takes zero responsibility for her life? She gets a social security check every month for four times the amount of her rent, but couldn't figure out how to give me what she was contractually obligated to pay?
You know, I once had someone use me as a job reference under similar circumstances. It was a political thing at the time, the person in question is a very good friend of the family. Not vouching for this person as a job reference would have caused future pain and heart ache. At the time, when asked, I said that the family friend was "innovative" and an "outside the box thinker". Which were both true, because I was the last person she logically should have picked for a reference.
In Ms. Kathy's case, it is also a bit political and, it is probably in my best interest for us to part friends. So, I waited until after hours and called Ellen back leaving a message. I said Ms. Kathy had rented from me for three and a half years. And, then I said how much the rent was every month. Then I made some sort of "I hope this answers all your questions. Thank you," noises and hung up. At no time in my voice mail did I say say, if she had any questions to call me back.
Hopefully Ellen doesn't call back and ask for more detail. Because I am not sure saying Ms. Kathy is innovative will sound like high praise for her rental history.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tricky Logistics
As someone who deals with landlords like me, I really feel for Kirby. I don't feel for Mario--my other property manager--because I don't talk to him unless I am forced to. He and I prefer it that way.
When I gave Ms. Kathy's former home to Kirby to manage, I neglected to tell him former tenants Mr. and Mrs. Smith--whom I kicked out and have a sizable judgement against--live directly across the street at Mrs. Smith's father's home.
I sorta kinda brought it up to Kirby Monday when he asked me about marketing the house. I mentioned it only because I wanted to be sure there wasn't any chance he was going to rent this home back to thosemorons folks. I also sorta, kinda brought up the fact that Mrs. Kathy is going to be living next door with her sister until she finds someone to rent her the mega-mansion she feels she deserves. So, could he please get the locks changed?
His reply: "Do you have any other surprises?"
Nope. None that he should know about at this time. But, then again, he doesn't read this blog.
When I gave Ms. Kathy's former home to Kirby to manage, I neglected to tell him former tenants Mr. and Mrs. Smith--whom I kicked out and have a sizable judgement against--live directly across the street at Mrs. Smith's father's home.
I sorta kinda brought it up to Kirby Monday when he asked me about marketing the house. I mentioned it only because I wanted to be sure there wasn't any chance he was going to rent this home back to those
His reply: "Do you have any other surprises?"
Nope. None that he should know about at this time. But, then again, he doesn't read this blog.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Closed
Kirby, bless him, stopped everything he was doing on Monday morning and drove out to Moody Alabama to meet Ms. Kathy. I had told her he was "taking possession of the home" at 9 a.m., whether she liked it or not.
According to Kirby, she did not. But she left. And, I know you are all going to be utterly shocked by this--but she did not leave the home clean--even though she assured me for the past three weeks when she left the place would be cleaner than an OCD housewife's kitchen. Nor did she mow the yard, which I hear is out of control.
But, she is gone and my homeless shelter is now closed.
According to Kirby, she did not. But she left. And, I know you are all going to be utterly shocked by this--but she did not leave the home clean--even though she assured me for the past three weeks when she left the place would be cleaner than an OCD housewife's kitchen. Nor did she mow the yard, which I hear is out of control.
But, she is gone and my homeless shelter is now closed.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The Miracle
Last Tuesday Ms. Kathy called me. She had two pieces of information for me: first, she was moving out on Friday. No worries. And just in case it came up, she would certainly leave the house in tip-top shape. Yessiree, you could count on her to leave that place prettier than she found it. You bet.
The other item she slipped in was that she was (her words) "confused" as to why Carolsue had called her at all the weekend before. After all, hadn't she and I been talking all along? Well, no. I am talking. She is ignoring.
But instead, I gently reminded her about how I had called, texted and e-mailed her last week. Kirby, the property manager who was taking this house off my plate as soon as Ms. Kathy moved out, also was doing the same. Additionally, I had sent a carrier pigeon over and sent smoke signals. Ms. Kathy had ignored all of the above. So, what was a girl to do but call Carolsue?
Ms. Kathy's feeble answer was simply to say, "Well, I can't text back on my phone. I can only receive texts."
Let us fast forward to last Friday, shall we? Ms. Kathy left a voice mail for me saying she hadn't found a place to live just yet. She hoped it was ok if she just stayed in my home a bit longer--and I am not making this up--just until she found some where she "liked."
It was so totally not ok.
In fact, it was so totally not ok that I may or may not have thrown an icy water bottle at the wall and may or may not have put a nice hole in the said wall. But, I am not admitting to anything. (Did I ever mention that I have an awesome husband who does handy jobs when necessary? Not that this previous statement has anything to do with the above.)
And, may I also say, God bless Carolsue, who actually called Ms. Kathy back and managed to get Ms. Kathyto cry like a baby to commit to leaving by the end of the weekend. I don't know exactly what Carolsue said, but it probably was a little bit nicer than what I wanted to say. And besides, Carolsue doesn't work for me. She can legally say whatever she wants without violating Fair Housing laws. (but in all fairness, if I were to call Ms. Kathy a white trash thief and whore it would not be violating Fair Housing laws specifically. White trash thieves and whores aren't protected. And, I would prefer not to discuss the other legal and ethical violations I might be making here, I am specifically talking about Fair Housing).
But, back to my story... Now Ms. Kathy is supposed to move out over this weekend.
Like today.
Though I am not holding my breath, but I am going to play along because I have nothing else I can do right now. And besides, I am fresh out of wall patch.
However, in the event Ms. Kathy does follow through, I needed a plan. So, Friday night e-mailed Kirby and begged him to drop everything he had going on Monday morning and please meet Ms. Kathy and retrieve my keys. Kirby didn't even flinch. He e-mailed me back at 7 a.m. Saturday morning saying he would be there Monday morning at 9 a.m.
My only step left was to let Ms. Kathy know. And, because I don't really want to talk to her, I was left with few choices. So, I sent her an e-mail. And, I also sent her a text saying Kirby was showing up at 9 a.m. to take possession of my home and take the keys away from her.
And wouldn't you know it! Her phone has been healed. A true miracle. She immediately sent a text back saying, "ok."
The other item she slipped in was that she was (her words) "confused" as to why Carolsue had called her at all the weekend before. After all, hadn't she and I been talking all along? Well, no. I am talking. She is ignoring.
But instead, I gently reminded her about how I had called, texted and e-mailed her last week. Kirby, the property manager who was taking this house off my plate as soon as Ms. Kathy moved out, also was doing the same. Additionally, I had sent a carrier pigeon over and sent smoke signals. Ms. Kathy had ignored all of the above. So, what was a girl to do but call Carolsue?
Ms. Kathy's feeble answer was simply to say, "Well, I can't text back on my phone. I can only receive texts."
Let us fast forward to last Friday, shall we? Ms. Kathy left a voice mail for me saying she hadn't found a place to live just yet. She hoped it was ok if she just stayed in my home a bit longer--and I am not making this up--just until she found some where she "liked."
It was so totally not ok.
In fact, it was so totally not ok that I may or may not have thrown an icy water bottle at the wall and may or may not have put a nice hole in the said wall. But, I am not admitting to anything. (Did I ever mention that I have an awesome husband who does handy jobs when necessary? Not that this previous statement has anything to do with the above.)
And, may I also say, God bless Carolsue, who actually called Ms. Kathy back and managed to get Ms. Kathy
But, back to my story... Now Ms. Kathy is supposed to move out over this weekend.
Like today.
Though I am not holding my breath, but I am going to play along because I have nothing else I can do right now. And besides, I am fresh out of wall patch.
However, in the event Ms. Kathy does follow through, I needed a plan. So, Friday night e-mailed Kirby and begged him to drop everything he had going on Monday morning and please meet Ms. Kathy and retrieve my keys. Kirby didn't even flinch. He e-mailed me back at 7 a.m. Saturday morning saying he would be there Monday morning at 9 a.m.
My only step left was to let Ms. Kathy know. And, because I don't really want to talk to her, I was left with few choices. So, I sent her an e-mail. And, I also sent her a text saying Kirby was showing up at 9 a.m. to take possession of my home and take the keys away from her.
And wouldn't you know it! Her phone has been healed. A true miracle. She immediately sent a text back saying, "ok."
Monday, September 17, 2012
Calling in the Marine
Ms. Kathy was moving. Then she wasn't moving, instead she was going to pay up and stay in my home forever. Then she "lost" her social security money the day it landed in her bank account. Her solution was to tell me she was going to pay half of what she owed--which I did not agree to. Two hours later she managed to loose that too. Completely bypassing the fact I told her I was refusing the payment, she then offered to send me $100 and call us even. Would that be enough to stay? Then she and I had an interesting conversation where she came to the conclusion she was going to move.
That's the story of the past month.
Except Ms. Kathy didn't move and she seemed to forget about our chat two weeks ago about how she was going to leave peacefully without me going to the trouble and expense of evicting her and garnishing her wages (she has a job). At that time, her big issue was that she said she was having trouble finding a place as inexpensive as the house she has now. Not that I believe that. And, if I could just point out the obvious: her sister lives smack-dab next door.
Anyway, last week I called Ms. Kathy. I texted Ms. Kathy. I e-mailed Ms. Kathy. Kirby (who is supposed to get this house in his collection of my homes in property management) called Ms. Kathy. And--I know you are totally astounded by what you are about to read next--Ms. Kathy didn't respond to any of the above.
Go ahead, catch your breath, get a drink of water and recover. I can wait.
It was time to call in the big guns. I asked Carolsue to drive over. She did. Ms. Kathy ignored her too. So, Carolsue called her and told Ms. Kathy if she didn't call back, Carolsue was going to show up again with the sheriff and several trash bags, use her house key and personally move Ms. Kathy's stuff to the curb. And, I promise, if you hear Carolsue say such things, you would be afraid too.
The long and the short of this is that Carolsue and Ms. Kathy had a discussion where Ms. Kathy cried--which seems to be the affect Carolsue has on my tenants. Carolue got back to me with the following compromise. Ms. Kathy would really, really like to stay. But she wants a $100 a month rent reduction.
I give Carolsue a lot of credit for what happened next. It is fair to say, I didn't take well to the news. In an undignified manner, I explained to Carolsue exactly how insulting Ms. Kathy's negotiation techniques happen to be. The answer was simply no. Except I think poor Carolsue now has lost her hearing in her phone ear.
Later that day, according to Carolsue, she once again talked to Ms. Kathy and explained that Kathy had until Friday to leave. Carolsue would be over on Saturday to collect the keys. Let's hope this time Ms. Kathy goes. I am not sure I can take much more of this.
That's the story of the past month.
Except Ms. Kathy didn't move and she seemed to forget about our chat two weeks ago about how she was going to leave peacefully without me going to the trouble and expense of evicting her and garnishing her wages (she has a job). At that time, her big issue was that she said she was having trouble finding a place as inexpensive as the house she has now. Not that I believe that. And, if I could just point out the obvious: her sister lives smack-dab next door.
Anyway, last week I called Ms. Kathy. I texted Ms. Kathy. I e-mailed Ms. Kathy. Kirby (who is supposed to get this house in his collection of my homes in property management) called Ms. Kathy. And--I know you are totally astounded by what you are about to read next--Ms. Kathy didn't respond to any of the above.
Go ahead, catch your breath, get a drink of water and recover. I can wait.
It was time to call in the big guns. I asked Carolsue to drive over. She did. Ms. Kathy ignored her too. So, Carolsue called her and told Ms. Kathy if she didn't call back, Carolsue was going to show up again with the sheriff and several trash bags, use her house key and personally move Ms. Kathy's stuff to the curb. And, I promise, if you hear Carolsue say such things, you would be afraid too.
The long and the short of this is that Carolsue and Ms. Kathy had a discussion where Ms. Kathy cried--which seems to be the affect Carolsue has on my tenants. Carolue got back to me with the following compromise. Ms. Kathy would really, really like to stay. But she wants a $100 a month rent reduction.
I give Carolsue a lot of credit for what happened next. It is fair to say, I didn't take well to the news. In an undignified manner, I explained to Carolsue exactly how insulting Ms. Kathy's negotiation techniques happen to be. The answer was simply no. Except I think poor Carolsue now has lost her hearing in her phone ear.
Later that day, according to Carolsue, she once again talked to Ms. Kathy and explained that Kathy had until Friday to leave. Carolsue would be over on Saturday to collect the keys. Let's hope this time Ms. Kathy goes. I am not sure I can take much more of this.
Sunday, September 09, 2012
Walking a Mile for Mitch and Tonya
Sadly, those looking to rent Mitch and Tonya's lovely home don't read this blog. And, they are contacting me in droves, sharing all sorts of personal stories that I never needed to hear.
The latest was a woman who was looking for a home for her in-laws. After a few questions, I found out that her in-laws did live in town and knew the basics of telephone communication. Why they weren't calling me themselves, I don't know.
Though I feel very protective of them, I can't decide who lives in Mitch and Tonya's home, I am just facilitating this. Therefore, I am really not in a position to point out that the potential tenants in question are too
What the woman did tell me (she wouldn't give me her name) was that her in-laws were going to need a co-signer for the lease. Was that ok? I probed further with a simple "Why?" and when that netted me backtracking and babble, I countered with, "As you haven't seen this home, how can you be so sure this will be the case?", she assured me they would indeed need someone else on the lease. Would that be an issue? Knowing this upfront isn't an issue. In fact, it is probably a blessing in disguise. But I didn't tell the caller this.
I did explain the in-laws would have to make an appointment to see the home first and then fill out an application. There would be a credit, background and eviction search. The potential tenants would also have to provide proof of income. Only after this was completed would the landlords decide whether or not a co-signer was necessary. And, rest assured, according to Mitch and Tonya, they will take credit challenges on a case-by-case basis. So, perhaps this situation wouldn't call for a co-signer after all. Sadly, all this was lost on this poor lady, as she fell off the bandwagon at "make an appointment to see the home." She wasn't interested in continuing with me from that point forward.
I am hoping this five minute conversation probably saved Mitch and Tonya a major train wreck down the road.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Games, Games, Games
For those of you who are familiar with the Peanuts cartoon, you might remember Lucy promising to hold the football still for Charlie Brown and moving it out of his way at the last second, making Charlie Brown fall smack down on his rear.
That is parallel to Ms. Kathy and I. When I sent her an eviction notice, she came back, promising me rent instead of moving--an option available. Today I got a note from her asking her if it was "ok" if she didn't pay me what she owed.
For those of you scratching your head trying to figure out why I have been playing this game with Ms. Kathy, it is because it is cheaper to keep Ms. Kathy than evict her. That is, if she pays the rent. Which she generally does. Simply put: it is a business decision.
But there comes a point where enough is enough. There is no amount of coaxing, cajoling or threatening that can make her pay her bills on time. Business decision or not, I don't want to live this way. My stress level is high enough without this game.
Of course, because I played along, I am one month behind. I will probably have a vacant home through the holidays. That's the price I will pay for playing with Ms. Kathy.
That is parallel to Ms. Kathy and I. When I sent her an eviction notice, she came back, promising me rent instead of moving--an option available. Today I got a note from her asking her if it was "ok" if she didn't pay me what she owed.
For those of you scratching your head trying to figure out why I have been playing this game with Ms. Kathy, it is because it is cheaper to keep Ms. Kathy than evict her. That is, if she pays the rent. Which she generally does. Simply put: it is a business decision.
But there comes a point where enough is enough. There is no amount of coaxing, cajoling or threatening that can make her pay her bills on time. Business decision or not, I don't want to live this way. My stress level is high enough without this game.
Of course, because I played along, I am one month behind. I will probably have a vacant home through the holidays. That's the price I will pay for playing with Ms. Kathy.
Monday, September 03, 2012
Why I Appreciate Kirby
Thirteen months ago, Mitch and Tonya bought a home with a ready-made tenant in place. The tenant said she wanted to stay for "years", which meant until her year lease was up. So, now Mitch and Tonya have a vacant home.
Mitch and Tonya don't live in Arizona, so they need someone to help them find a tenant. Enter me. If you don't know how I feel about finding tenants for properties, then you must be new to this blog. So, welcome! You are my fifth reader! You are welcome to peruse the archives where you can get a crystal clear perspective on the topic and many others.
And for those of you who aren't intimately aware about how I feel about using my real estate license to lease houses, I will give you a quick primer: I have to really, really, really like you enough to work forfree less than the hourly wage of a small Asian sweat shop employee--which is what leasing agents make and why most sane agents don't do leasing.
And for anyone who is reading this and I have helped you lease a home, I really, really, really like you and didn't mind. I promise. I would even do it again.
Mitch and Tonya have an utterly charming townhouse in Gilbert. It is is pristine condition, priced competitively and even are throwing in a few extras to sweeten the deal. Unfortunately, every single soon-to-be homeless person with limited funds has called me this weekend asking if Mitch and Tonya are willing to lower the rent, lower the deposits, allow for a medium sized pet water buffalo and/or add a third story, complete with solarium and indoor pool.
None of these folks wish to see the home until they have completely exhausted my patience, negotiating this and that. Mitch and Tonya aren't interested in reducing the rent by $500 on the third day on the market (nor should they reduce it at all). And, they certainly aren't going to reduce for someone who won't make any effort to view the property. Nor does it sound like any of these folks have the caliber of character Mitch and Tonya seem to be looking for.
As for me, I am offering to do one mass showing some time this week for all these folks. They can show up all at once and see what a lovely place this is for themselves (it is 45 minutes from my house and just as far from my office). If they like it, think there is room for the water buffalo and can live comfortably with the knowledge that the home owner's association will simply not allow for another wing to be added, they can then take application. If I get the application back, all the better. Or, if that doesn't work, I can give them the name of a couple of other insane agents who are also willing to work for almost free.
Mitch and Tonya don't live in Arizona, so they need someone to help them find a tenant. Enter me. If you don't know how I feel about finding tenants for properties, then you must be new to this blog. So, welcome! You are my fifth reader! You are welcome to peruse the archives where you can get a crystal clear perspective on the topic and many others.
And for those of you who aren't intimately aware about how I feel about using my real estate license to lease houses, I will give you a quick primer: I have to really, really, really like you enough to work for
And for anyone who is reading this and I have helped you lease a home, I really, really, really like you and didn't mind. I promise. I would even do it again.
Mitch and Tonya have an utterly charming townhouse in Gilbert. It is is pristine condition, priced competitively and even are throwing in a few extras to sweeten the deal. Unfortunately, every single soon-to-be homeless person with limited funds has called me this weekend asking if Mitch and Tonya are willing to lower the rent, lower the deposits, allow for a medium sized pet water buffalo and/or add a third story, complete with solarium and indoor pool.
None of these folks wish to see the home until they have completely exhausted my patience, negotiating this and that. Mitch and Tonya aren't interested in reducing the rent by $500 on the third day on the market (nor should they reduce it at all). And, they certainly aren't going to reduce for someone who won't make any effort to view the property. Nor does it sound like any of these folks have the caliber of character Mitch and Tonya seem to be looking for.
As for me, I am offering to do one mass showing some time this week for all these folks. They can show up all at once and see what a lovely place this is for themselves (it is 45 minutes from my house and just as far from my office). If they like it, think there is room for the water buffalo and can live comfortably with the knowledge that the home owner's association will simply not allow for another wing to be added, they can then take application. If I get the application back, all the better. Or, if that doesn't work, I can give them the name of a couple of other insane agents who are also willing to work for almost free.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Rain, Rain, Go Away
We desert dwellers don't have earthquakes, snow, sleet, mudslides, typhoons, hurricanes, tornadoes, and tsunamis.
We do have heat. We also have an occasional monsoon, where the rain will last about four hours and the temperature will drop to a brisk 75 degrees.
What we don't have is days of endless rain to delay the roofer who is scheduled to go out to Mrs. Green's house, remove the blue tarp and put on a brand spanking new roof! So, it looks like it will happen either later this week or sometime next week.
We do have heat. We also have an occasional monsoon, where the rain will last about four hours and the temperature will drop to a brisk 75 degrees.
What we don't have is days of endless rain to delay the roofer who is scheduled to go out to Mrs. Green's house, remove the blue tarp and put on a brand spanking new roof! So, it looks like it will happen either later this week or sometime next week.
Friday, August 24, 2012
National Bliz Day
Happy Birthday to my dear, dear friend and bookkeeper Bliz. I am honored and blessed to call you my friend. I hope you have a wonderful day and a fantastic year.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Book Club with Diamond Jim
Diamond Jim is in town for a week or so. He has all sorts of accountant-y things to do, but managed to find time for breakfast with me. Our breakfasts often turn into a book club. His book today was The Twelfth Imam.
I am working on two books. The first one is an awesome book: Project Based Homeschooling written by my cyber-pal Lori (on sale right now on Amazon. This book is amazing for all parents--even if you aren't homeschooling). I am also reading a chick-lit book that I can't bring myself to discuss with Diamond Jim--not that he would want to hear about it anyway (and no, gray, or any other shade is not in the title). Besides, we used up all my end of the conversation on Project Based Homeschooling.
We had left our prospective books, just finished discussing the Stephen Drew trade (I am still in mourning about the Dbacks loosing their shortstop) when the insurance adjuster called. All is right in the world. Mrs. Green is getting a roof next week. And could I please call the contractor and pick the roof color?
As my business transitions, and as Diamond Jim actually retires and lives out his golden years in small town Oregon, I am going to need to find a new accountant. Hopefully the one who walks into my life next will be just as wonderful as Diamond Jim.
I am working on two books. The first one is an awesome book: Project Based Homeschooling written by my cyber-pal Lori (on sale right now on Amazon. This book is amazing for all parents--even if you aren't homeschooling). I am also reading a chick-lit book that I can't bring myself to discuss with Diamond Jim--not that he would want to hear about it anyway (and no, gray, or any other shade is not in the title). Besides, we used up all my end of the conversation on Project Based Homeschooling.
We had left our prospective books, just finished discussing the Stephen Drew trade (I am still in mourning about the Dbacks loosing their shortstop) when the insurance adjuster called. All is right in the world. Mrs. Green is getting a roof next week. And could I please call the contractor and pick the roof color?
As my business transitions, and as Diamond Jim actually retires and lives out his golden years in small town Oregon, I am going to need to find a new accountant. Hopefully the one who walks into my life next will be just as wonderful as Diamond Jim.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
All Kinds of Crazy
The insurance adjuster told me I would have my quote by noon today.
I didn't. Color me shocked.
At 12:03 p.m. Birmingham time, everyone with any power had heard from me, including but not limited to the adjuster's supervisor. Coincidentally, the insurance adjuster did manage to call me by 12:42 Birmingham time to update me. He gave me lots of detailed information, at which point I explained that if he had spent this much time answering these same questions yesterday when I asked them I wouldn't have had to escalate this to the powers that be today.
Personally, I don't have a lot of patience for insurance adjusters who brush me off with their version of "Don't worry your pretty little head about this." Which is what I told the insurance adjuster's supervisor at 12:57.
My situation is still in limbo. But now I have a much better idea of why there is a hold up. Simply put, the insurance adjuster dropped the ball and from what I understand, he has all kinds of crazy to answer for on his end too.
I didn't. Color me shocked.
At 12:03 p.m. Birmingham time, everyone with any power had heard from me, including but not limited to the adjuster's supervisor. Coincidentally, the insurance adjuster did manage to call me by 12:42 Birmingham time to update me. He gave me lots of detailed information, at which point I explained that if he had spent this much time answering these same questions yesterday when I asked them I wouldn't have had to escalate this to the powers that be today.
Personally, I don't have a lot of patience for insurance adjusters who brush me off with their version of "Don't worry your pretty little head about this." Which is what I told the insurance adjuster's supervisor at 12:57.
My situation is still in limbo. But now I have a much better idea of why there is a hold up. Simply put, the insurance adjuster dropped the ball and from what I understand, he has all kinds of crazy to answer for on his end too.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Been There, Done That
So. Mrs. Green has been missing a big chunk of her roof for weeks now. Me, the dutiful landlord has been doing everything conceivable to remedy this, short of hauling myself to Birmingham, buying some tar paper and putting this roof back on myself. Though, it did occur to me that the whole process might have been a tad bit faster if I had.
In the event you have never filed an insurance claim, let me educate you. For, I have filed many.
After the niceties have been taken care of--everyone safe? everyone's possessions out of the way? No future disasters pending, such as, but not limited to impending fire or more water damage? Ok. Good. Now then...
The first item of business is to contact the insurance company who has your policy. You will answer a few questions, giving specifics, and allowing an adjuster to view the damage for themselves. If you are unclear as to if it is worth contacting the insurance company, do it anyway. As it was explained to me BY THE INSURANCE COMPANY when I was dithering about this a few weeks ago, "Bless your heart. That's why you have insurance in the first place."
The next step (which is usually done concurrently) is to contact some person specialized in fixing the said damage. In my case, it was two roofers. The first one flaked out. The second roofer gave a quote to me that was akin to the GDP of a small third world nation. According to my doctor, I have a strong heart. According to Marty Sunshine, I need to breathe slowly into a paper bag.
After these two items are completed, the insurance adjuster will kindly issue a check, the roofer will get the work done and the tenant in question will live in a home with an intact roof happily ever after.
Except with my insurance company. For those of you who might remember back to the good old days of 2008, the insurance adjuster only worked on Tuesdays. Therefore, if I did not get in touch with the particular adjuster on a given Tuesday, I was out of luck until the following week.
Additionally, the company in question (back in August 2008) gave me pittance for the home where the tenant took everything from the carpet to the kitchen sink (not to mention the copper pipes). According to the adjuster at the time, it was "normal wear and tear."
Eventually everything was escalated, Marty Sunshine supplied me with lots of paper bags and it got worked out with considerable drama (you can read the stories in the blog archives if you are so inclined). By the way, I use this insurance company only because I have a zillion homes and there are some complications to getting home owner's insurance when one owns a zillion homes.
Fast forward to August 2012. Another house with yet a very legitimate claim. The only thing the same is the sting of rejection from years gone by.
In this case, the master bedroom doesn't have a ceiling. A representative from my insurance company told me I "needed" to file a claim, as I am paying for insurance for disasters. It stands to reason this is pretty open and shut.
Yet, the adjuster's voice mail says he only returns calls on Fridays. However, he does not return phone calls until I escalated this to Defcon 5--and only then did he do so begrudgingly, telling me I will have a quote "later in the week." When I did talk to him today he cryptically told me he was still working on my file. As I explained, my tenants were still working with a missing roof.
I am under the distinct impression that the roofer and the adjuster are worlds apart, which means the insurance company doesn't want to shell out anything they don't have to. Not that I am bitter from last time or anything. But experience really is the best teacher.
In the event you have never filed an insurance claim, let me educate you. For, I have filed many.
After the niceties have been taken care of--everyone safe? everyone's possessions out of the way? No future disasters pending, such as, but not limited to impending fire or more water damage? Ok. Good. Now then...
The first item of business is to contact the insurance company who has your policy. You will answer a few questions, giving specifics, and allowing an adjuster to view the damage for themselves. If you are unclear as to if it is worth contacting the insurance company, do it anyway. As it was explained to me BY THE INSURANCE COMPANY when I was dithering about this a few weeks ago, "Bless your heart. That's why you have insurance in the first place."
The next step (which is usually done concurrently) is to contact some person specialized in fixing the said damage. In my case, it was two roofers. The first one flaked out. The second roofer gave a quote to me that was akin to the GDP of a small third world nation. According to my doctor, I have a strong heart. According to Marty Sunshine, I need to breathe slowly into a paper bag.
After these two items are completed, the insurance adjuster will kindly issue a check, the roofer will get the work done and the tenant in question will live in a home with an intact roof happily ever after.
Except with my insurance company. For those of you who might remember back to the good old days of 2008, the insurance adjuster only worked on Tuesdays. Therefore, if I did not get in touch with the particular adjuster on a given Tuesday, I was out of luck until the following week.
Additionally, the company in question (back in August 2008) gave me pittance for the home where the tenant took everything from the carpet to the kitchen sink (not to mention the copper pipes). According to the adjuster at the time, it was "normal wear and tear."
Eventually everything was escalated, Marty Sunshine supplied me with lots of paper bags and it got worked out with considerable drama (you can read the stories in the blog archives if you are so inclined). By the way, I use this insurance company only because I have a zillion homes and there are some complications to getting home owner's insurance when one owns a zillion homes.
Fast forward to August 2012. Another house with yet a very legitimate claim. The only thing the same is the sting of rejection from years gone by.
In this case, the master bedroom doesn't have a ceiling. A representative from my insurance company told me I "needed" to file a claim, as I am paying for insurance for disasters. It stands to reason this is pretty open and shut.
Yet, the adjuster's voice mail says he only returns calls on Fridays. However, he does not return phone calls until I escalated this to Defcon 5--and only then did he do so begrudgingly, telling me I will have a quote "later in the week." When I did talk to him today he cryptically told me he was still working on my file. As I explained, my tenants were still working with a missing roof.
I am under the distinct impression that the roofer and the adjuster are worlds apart, which means the insurance company doesn't want to shell out anything they don't have to. Not that I am bitter from last time or anything. But experience really is the best teacher.
Monday, August 20, 2012
My Type-A Personality is Reeling
I am on week three of the insurance adjuster drama I haven't taken time to write about.
To summarize: the insurance adjuster still can't be bothered to get in touch with me. Yes, the situation has been escalated. No. It isn't helping.
Yes my tenants are frustrated. And so am I.
To summarize: the insurance adjuster still can't be bothered to get in touch with me. Yes, the situation has been escalated. No. It isn't helping.
Yes my tenants are frustrated. And so am I.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Good News, Bad News
Good news! Red found Ms. Kathy.
Bad news! Ms. Kathy is under the mistaken impression she paid a "last month's rent" when she moved in. (I sweetly told her to check her lease. No she didn't).
Good news! Ms. Kathy seems to think she needs to be gone in 10 days.
Bad news! I have another tenant moving out this month too.
Good news! With Ms. Kathy gone, my sanity may return soon.
Bad news! I am going to have two vacant homes in less than three weeks. My sanity will probably hide under the covers until further notice.
Bad news! Ms. Kathy is under the mistaken impression she paid a "last month's rent" when she moved in. (I sweetly told her to check her lease. No she didn't).
Good news! Ms. Kathy seems to think she needs to be gone in 10 days.
Bad news! I have another tenant moving out this month too.
Good news! With Ms. Kathy gone, my sanity may return soon.
Bad news! I am going to have two vacant homes in less than three weeks. My sanity will probably hide under the covers until further notice.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Insert Swearing and Sound Effects Here
My Cyber-Pal Lori, has mentioned from time to time that I need my own reality show. The other day I explained that if the public wanted to see a crazed woman swearing they could watch "Jersey Shore." They don't need me.
My life is not set up for a reality show. But even if I didn't mind camera crews following me around and my face out for the masses to view, this wouldn't work for a variety of reasons.
1. I am actually painfully shy. So, right there it blows the idea out of the water. Camera crews would see more closed doors or get more footage of Buckaroo sparring with his stuffed bear than they would of me.
2. Logistics. I am over here. My homes are over there. Viewers would see me staring dumbly at my phone waiting for text messages to never arrive. Viewers would see me getting stupid e-mails at midnight (which is about when I check my e-mail these days). The producers would probably add sound effects just to point out to the four viewers (my brothers and my parents) that the e-mail was bad news, though my viewers would probably figure this out from the string of obscenities that would leave my mouth.
Which reminds me, anyone else find it utterly annoying in Pawn Stars when sound effects are added right after Rick tells someone they aren't getting the $50,000 for their grandmother's autographed picture of some B-list celebrity?
3. If everyone did pay on time it would be jumping the shark don't you think? After all, where's the drama in that?
4. My marriage is functional. My kids are normal. We lead a dull, pedestrian life (outside of rental homes in Alabama), complete with scouts and karate. We would have to manufacture family drama. And we all know that doesn't happen in reality shows (insert lame sound effect here).
5. I doubt the camera crews would be allowed into the insurance adjuster's office to see an empty desk and a ringing phone (which reminds me, I still owe a blog about Ms. Green's roof. Trust me. Even after two weeks all you are missing out on is a string of obscenities.).
6. The camera crews would still be waiting for Kirby to call them back to film last week's episode. For that matter, I am still waiting for Kirby to call me back.
7. Nobody, and I mean nobody, North of the Tennessee River and West of the Mississippi River could possibly understand Ms. Angie. Even when she isn't upset.
8. There will not be camera crews in my home filming me at 5 a.m. when the phone rings from some perky Alabama tenant, proudly wanting to let me know they just mailed the rent on time, but yet can't comprehend Daylight Savings Time and is utterly confused as to why I am still sleeping.
9. The juicy stuff that happens can't be filmed (or blogged). Just saying...
Though I don't think a reality show is in my immediate future, I can tell you this, my tenants make great story and blog fodder. And someday they will all be prominently featured in the Great American Novel.
My life is not set up for a reality show. But even if I didn't mind camera crews following me around and my face out for the masses to view, this wouldn't work for a variety of reasons.
1. I am actually painfully shy. So, right there it blows the idea out of the water. Camera crews would see more closed doors or get more footage of Buckaroo sparring with his stuffed bear than they would of me.
2. Logistics. I am over here. My homes are over there. Viewers would see me staring dumbly at my phone waiting for text messages to never arrive. Viewers would see me getting stupid e-mails at midnight (which is about when I check my e-mail these days). The producers would probably add sound effects just to point out to the four viewers (my brothers and my parents) that the e-mail was bad news, though my viewers would probably figure this out from the string of obscenities that would leave my mouth.
Which reminds me, anyone else find it utterly annoying in Pawn Stars when sound effects are added right after Rick tells someone they aren't getting the $50,000 for their grandmother's autographed picture of some B-list celebrity?
3. If everyone did pay on time it would be jumping the shark don't you think? After all, where's the drama in that?
4. My marriage is functional. My kids are normal. We lead a dull, pedestrian life (outside of rental homes in Alabama), complete with scouts and karate. We would have to manufacture family drama. And we all know that doesn't happen in reality shows (insert lame sound effect here).
5. I doubt the camera crews would be allowed into the insurance adjuster's office to see an empty desk and a ringing phone (which reminds me, I still owe a blog about Ms. Green's roof. Trust me. Even after two weeks all you are missing out on is a string of obscenities.).
6. The camera crews would still be waiting for Kirby to call them back to film last week's episode. For that matter, I am still waiting for Kirby to call me back.
7. Nobody, and I mean nobody, North of the Tennessee River and West of the Mississippi River could possibly understand Ms. Angie. Even when she isn't upset.
8. There will not be camera crews in my home filming me at 5 a.m. when the phone rings from some perky Alabama tenant, proudly wanting to let me know they just mailed the rent on time, but yet can't comprehend Daylight Savings Time and is utterly confused as to why I am still sleeping.
9. The juicy stuff that happens can't be filmed (or blogged). Just saying...
Though I don't think a reality show is in my immediate future, I can tell you this, my tenants make great story and blog fodder. And someday they will all be prominently featured in the Great American Novel.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Eating My Words
About six weeks ago I got a call from friends of mine. They are accidental landlords because the husband was deployed to Arkansas around 2008 and could not sell their home for what they owe. They have been stressing out about this in one way or another since they started the process.
Part of the reason they were stressing was, for them, this was their happily ever after home. It wasn't a piece of meat they bought for the single purpose of cash flow and tax deductions. They like the carpet color. They like the wall color. They like the back yard. The other reason they are stressing is they happen to read this blog (and may have heard a behind the scenes story or two) and they know exactly what tenants are capable of.
So, back to this phone call. Shawn, the husband, called wanting some advice. He has tenants who were supposed to move out, but they are asking about staying for three more months. Should he let them stay the three months, missing out on the prime rental season when they leave in October? Or should he let them stay because the known is a lot less scary than the unknown? After all a tenant in the hand...
Oh! I should also mention the tenants in question were holding his rent check hostage until he made a decision (suggesting they weren't going to pay if they were moving out).
I should back up a teensy bit here, the tenants had been varying shades of royal pain in the rear for pretty much the duration of the lease. Shawn would call, reasonably demand they fix the broken window/get rid of the king cobra/pay the rent. They would parlay, giving Shawn the unfortunate impression they understood and agreed to everything Shawn said. Shawn in turn would go on his merry way, relieved, only to find out the tenants just wanted him off their back. Two months later they would lather, rinse and repeat the entire exchange.
Anyway, back to the phone call (once again). Shawn called me wanting advice on what to do with these yahoos. I forgot my manners as I barked into the phone. "Kick them out. Don't look back. They are making you crazy. And furthermore, they don't respect you. They are playing you for a fool."
His instant silent reply from my marching orders made me realize this was probably not an option he was seriously exploring when he called. He was looking for ways to get along and make the whole Shawn-tenant thing work out properly.
The good news is Shawn did get rid of them (not without a fair-share of drama and expense) and now has wonderful tenants.
I bring this up because last week Ms. Kathy's rent check did not come. If you might recall, she gave me this song and dance about rent being a priority now. On Thursday I texted her and asked what day she mailed it. On Friday I texted her and said "I take it since you didn't reply to my text you didn't mail it."
On Saturday I got an e-mail from her saying she would be sending $100 this week and $50 thereafter starting next Friday. I didn't reply. On Sunday night I got yet another e-mail from her saying, "Oops. I don't have that $100. But I will send you $50 this next Friday."
My words to Shawn and Lynn have been ringing in my ears. "Kick them out. Don't look back. They are making you crazy. And furthermore, they don't respect you. They are playing you for a fool."
Today I called Red, one of my process servers. I also called Ms. Kathy's place of employment, let her boss misunderstand that perhaps a flower delivery might be coming for Ms. Kathy and what time was Ms. Kathy working (so that Red could deliver the eviction notice. Perhaps he will pluck a daisy to go with it)? I also called a low-cost attorney I found from Kirby.
As she is month-to-month, I really don't have to evict Ms. Kathy. However, I tried the just-move-out route in 30 days before. Though I got rent, I did not get a long-term solution that makes me happy (seriously? $50 next week???)
This will not be cheap. I will not get the kind of rent I am getting from Ms. Kathy (when I get rent). I will have some repairs I haven't budgeted. Mr. Partner is MIA right now. I don't know how this is going to turn out. But at least Ms. Kathy's silly drama is soon to be over and she can go play some other landlord for the fool.
Part of the reason they were stressing was, for them, this was their happily ever after home. It wasn't a piece of meat they bought for the single purpose of cash flow and tax deductions. They like the carpet color. They like the wall color. They like the back yard. The other reason they are stressing is they happen to read this blog (and may have heard a behind the scenes story or two) and they know exactly what tenants are capable of.
So, back to this phone call. Shawn, the husband, called wanting some advice. He has tenants who were supposed to move out, but they are asking about staying for three more months. Should he let them stay the three months, missing out on the prime rental season when they leave in October? Or should he let them stay because the known is a lot less scary than the unknown? After all a tenant in the hand...
Oh! I should also mention the tenants in question were holding his rent check hostage until he made a decision (suggesting they weren't going to pay if they were moving out).
I should back up a teensy bit here, the tenants had been varying shades of royal pain in the rear for pretty much the duration of the lease. Shawn would call, reasonably demand they fix the broken window/get rid of the king cobra/pay the rent. They would parlay, giving Shawn the unfortunate impression they understood and agreed to everything Shawn said. Shawn in turn would go on his merry way, relieved, only to find out the tenants just wanted him off their back. Two months later they would lather, rinse and repeat the entire exchange.
Anyway, back to the phone call (once again). Shawn called me wanting advice on what to do with these yahoos. I forgot my manners as I barked into the phone. "Kick them out. Don't look back. They are making you crazy. And furthermore, they don't respect you. They are playing you for a fool."
His instant silent reply from my marching orders made me realize this was probably not an option he was seriously exploring when he called. He was looking for ways to get along and make the whole Shawn-tenant thing work out properly.
The good news is Shawn did get rid of them (not without a fair-share of drama and expense) and now has wonderful tenants.
I bring this up because last week Ms. Kathy's rent check did not come. If you might recall, she gave me this song and dance about rent being a priority now. On Thursday I texted her and asked what day she mailed it. On Friday I texted her and said "I take it since you didn't reply to my text you didn't mail it."
On Saturday I got an e-mail from her saying she would be sending $100 this week and $50 thereafter starting next Friday. I didn't reply. On Sunday night I got yet another e-mail from her saying, "Oops. I don't have that $100. But I will send you $50 this next Friday."
My words to Shawn and Lynn have been ringing in my ears. "Kick them out. Don't look back. They are making you crazy. And furthermore, they don't respect you. They are playing you for a fool."
Today I called Red, one of my process servers. I also called Ms. Kathy's place of employment, let her boss misunderstand that perhaps a flower delivery might be coming for Ms. Kathy and what time was Ms. Kathy working (so that Red could deliver the eviction notice. Perhaps he will pluck a daisy to go with it)? I also called a low-cost attorney I found from Kirby.
As she is month-to-month, I really don't have to evict Ms. Kathy. However, I tried the just-move-out route in 30 days before. Though I got rent, I did not get a long-term solution that makes me happy (seriously? $50 next week???)
This will not be cheap. I will not get the kind of rent I am getting from Ms. Kathy (when I get rent). I will have some repairs I haven't budgeted. Mr. Partner is MIA right now. I don't know how this is going to turn out. But at least Ms. Kathy's silly drama is soon to be over and she can go play some other landlord for the fool.
Thursday, August 09, 2012
Well, That Sucks
I suppose I have that completely wrong attitude about this--especially because I have been wronged, but I hate it anyway.
It looks like I have to file a malpractice claim against my Late Former Attorney. Still waiting to hear if it will affect his surviving spouse and children--not that it will make this decision any different.
Crap.
It looks like I have to file a malpractice claim against my Late Former Attorney. Still waiting to hear if it will affect his surviving spouse and children--not that it will make this decision any different.
Crap.
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
Flipping Tired
There is soooo much to write about these days. But, you will just have to bear with me today. Buckaroo, with a bout of insomnia, woke me up so many times last night to announce he couldn't sleep that today I am one breath short of reenacting a domestic zombie apocalypse B-movie.
But, allow me to stay awake long enough to announce to my six readers: Flip the Attorney is all kinds of Awesome!!!!!
Last week, I got an e-mail from a former tenant who--until recently--didn't know there was an issue at hand that the Late Attorney Jon hadn't resolved. Mrs. C. told me she would do whatever she could to help me out. She could have said, "Too bad. Sue me." which would have made me cry.
Last night (or early this morning--and long before Buckaroo's insomnia got the best of me) I got an e-mail from Flip at 1 a.m. his time asking me questions about the other property in question. And, I even got e-mails from him today, where he copied me on letters to title companies and the county recorder's office, with words like "forthwith," "whence" and "hereto".
I love lawyer-speak--when the lawyer is on my side.
I am so grateful to have Mrs. C's issue almost resolved. And hopefully the other one will go as smoothly. Now, off for a nap. Or caffeine.
But, allow me to stay awake long enough to announce to my six readers: Flip the Attorney is all kinds of Awesome!!!!!
Last week, I got an e-mail from a former tenant who--until recently--didn't know there was an issue at hand that the Late Attorney Jon hadn't resolved. Mrs. C. told me she would do whatever she could to help me out. She could have said, "Too bad. Sue me." which would have made me cry.
Last night (or early this morning--and long before Buckaroo's insomnia got the best of me) I got an e-mail from Flip at 1 a.m. his time asking me questions about the other property in question. And, I even got e-mails from him today, where he copied me on letters to title companies and the county recorder's office, with words like "forthwith," "whence" and "hereto".
I love lawyer-speak--when the lawyer is on my side.
I am so grateful to have Mrs. C's issue almost resolved. And hopefully the other one will go as smoothly. Now, off for a nap. Or caffeine.
Thursday, August 02, 2012
A Flood of Suggestions
I happen to consider myself a practical person. I thought most people were practical until I became a landlord. For whatever reason, "practical" seems to fly out the window in the most stupendous fashion when tenants are faced with no-brainer tasks.
For example, Mr. and Mrs. Green have an unfortunate situation. They have accidentally inherited a skylight in their master bedroom. This happened early Tuesday morning when a portion of the roof collapsed. Today is Thursday. I have called two roofers who are swamped. One has promised me a tarp twice in two days. However, nothing has happened as of yet. I know this because I am getting regular updates on the situation from both Mr. and Mrs. Green.
The insurance adjuster is a whole 'nuther story, worthy of its own blog (stay tuned). But the fact remains, there is a gaping hole in the roof and the Greens can see daylight, or stars, or depending upon the weather, running water.
It stands to reason, if this is a situation they are having to deal with, they might be motivated to do something about it. After all, THERE IS WATER COMING DOWN ON THEIR MASTER BED.
Instead, I have gotten about twenty seven calls an hour for the last two days, reminding me the roof hasn't been tarped. Try as I may, I don't have a magic landlord wand to make this happen. I have suggested to them that they might want to take matters into their own hands. You know, haul their collectively wet butts the 1/8 of a mile to the local Orange Big Box hardware store and buy a tarp.
"We don't have a ladder." Mr. Green lamented.
I know first-hand that that particular store rents ladders. I also know first-hand that Mr. Green's next door neighbor owns a ladder. I have used it. Otherwise, perhaps someone they know or a member of their church might own a ladder and be willing to help. I suggested both to him and he feigned the same type of confusion Buckaroo gives me when he doesn't want to wash dishes.
At this point, I am really under the impression what they are expecting is for me to get on a plane in the next hour, fly out to Birmingham. Buy a tarp and either rent a ladder or borrow one from the next door neighbor and put the tarp on their roof. At which point, I will need to immediately fly back to Phoenix to await a phone call from the MIA insurance adjuster (Spoilers. Sorry.).
I have always considered the Greens to be practical people, who have managed to find their way thus far in their life with little issue. I am sure, if they are properly motivated they will figure this out too.
For example, Mr. and Mrs. Green have an unfortunate situation. They have accidentally inherited a skylight in their master bedroom. This happened early Tuesday morning when a portion of the roof collapsed. Today is Thursday. I have called two roofers who are swamped. One has promised me a tarp twice in two days. However, nothing has happened as of yet. I know this because I am getting regular updates on the situation from both Mr. and Mrs. Green.
The insurance adjuster is a whole 'nuther story, worthy of its own blog (stay tuned). But the fact remains, there is a gaping hole in the roof and the Greens can see daylight, or stars, or depending upon the weather, running water.
It stands to reason, if this is a situation they are having to deal with, they might be motivated to do something about it. After all, THERE IS WATER COMING DOWN ON THEIR MASTER BED.
Instead, I have gotten about twenty seven calls an hour for the last two days, reminding me the roof hasn't been tarped. Try as I may, I don't have a magic landlord wand to make this happen. I have suggested to them that they might want to take matters into their own hands. You know, haul their collectively wet butts the 1/8 of a mile to the local Orange Big Box hardware store and buy a tarp.
"We don't have a ladder." Mr. Green lamented.
I know first-hand that that particular store rents ladders. I also know first-hand that Mr. Green's next door neighbor owns a ladder. I have used it. Otherwise, perhaps someone they know or a member of their church might own a ladder and be willing to help. I suggested both to him and he feigned the same type of confusion Buckaroo gives me when he doesn't want to wash dishes.
At this point, I am really under the impression what they are expecting is for me to get on a plane in the next hour, fly out to Birmingham. Buy a tarp and either rent a ladder or borrow one from the next door neighbor and put the tarp on their roof. At which point, I will need to immediately fly back to Phoenix to await a phone call from the MIA insurance adjuster (Spoilers. Sorry.).
I have always considered the Greens to be practical people, who have managed to find their way thus far in their life with little issue. I am sure, if they are properly motivated they will figure this out too.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Gather the Animals Two By Two
If the pictures and videos are to be believed, Birmingham is flooded.
I heard about this first-hand at $#^%^(& 6:20 a.m. from Mrs. Green who sent me a scary picture of what is left of her bedroom ceiling. I would post the picture here, but technology hates me.*
What did happen at 6:28 a.m. this morning (after I got off the phone with Mrs. Green) is I called Dave the Roofer. I commented to Marty Sunshine that I really never wanted to be in a place in my life where I had phone numbers for a roofer, electrician, plumber and two HVAC guys in my cell phone directory. "Don't forget two lawyers!" he cheerfully responded.
Mrs. Green's roofing disaster wasn't exactly enough to convince me my day was going to be challenging--though I don't know why I would think otherwise. So, when I checked my e-mail an hour later Kirby sent me a note telling me the downstairs of my Fultondale home was flooded. "How did that happen? They leave a door open?" I stupidly asked.
Kirby, characteristically, has yet to respond.
I realized everything was pretty darn serious when Mrs. Roebuck sent me an e-mail later that morning telling me there had been storms all night. When she went outside in the morning she found out her tree had been struck by lightening for yet a third time.
"Buy a lottery ticket." was my only response.
Carolsue did send me this little gem just to prove there had been a bit of rain. Apparently this is where Mr. 114 and Mr. Wonderful live. Carolsue has suggested next time Marty and I want to start a business in Alabama, we might want to consider being roofers. She may have a point.
*Actual conversation with me and tech support guy:
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Me: A black one.
I heard about this first-hand at $#^%^(& 6:20 a.m. from Mrs. Green who sent me a scary picture of what is left of her bedroom ceiling. I would post the picture here, but technology hates me.*
What did happen at 6:28 a.m. this morning (after I got off the phone with Mrs. Green) is I called Dave the Roofer. I commented to Marty Sunshine that I really never wanted to be in a place in my life where I had phone numbers for a roofer, electrician, plumber and two HVAC guys in my cell phone directory. "Don't forget two lawyers!" he cheerfully responded.
Mrs. Green's roofing disaster wasn't exactly enough to convince me my day was going to be challenging--though I don't know why I would think otherwise. So, when I checked my e-mail an hour later Kirby sent me a note telling me the downstairs of my Fultondale home was flooded. "How did that happen? They leave a door open?" I stupidly asked.
Kirby, characteristically, has yet to respond.
I realized everything was pretty darn serious when Mrs. Roebuck sent me an e-mail later that morning telling me there had been storms all night. When she went outside in the morning she found out her tree had been struck by lightening for yet a third time.
"Buy a lottery ticket." was my only response.
Carolsue did send me this little gem just to prove there had been a bit of rain. Apparently this is where Mr. 114 and Mr. Wonderful live. Carolsue has suggested next time Marty and I want to start a business in Alabama, we might want to consider being roofers. She may have a point.
*Actual conversation with me and tech support guy:
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Me: A black one.
Monday, July 23, 2012
A Bless Your Heart Kind of Day
Last Friday, as we passed the sign that says, "Now Leaving the Phoenix Metro Area: The Last Bastion of Civilization for the Next 70 Miles" I quickly checked my e-mail on my phone. My property manager Mario's minion--Ben--had sent me an e-mail saying that the air conditioning at Hysteria Lane had gone out. Could I please send someone out there to fix it.
I promptly e-mailed him back, explaining I was on my way to pick up Polly at summer camp and about to loose cell service. Could he please call the AC company? I omitted the part about that is why I pay them an exorbitant amount of money to handle these things. But I did add that I wanted to make sure this was taken care of ASAP, as I would hate to have my tenants uncomfortable through the weekend.
When I checked my e-mail this morning, Ben had followed up to tell me the company did not go out there and the tenant was upset. Ben's directive was for me to call the air conditioning company and make this happen.
My first order of business was to call the tenant. I left her a message giving her my info and the AC company's info. I told her we would take care of this and I was so sorry she spent the weekend without cool air. I may have also let it slip that I wasn't sure why I had a property management company if they couldn't handle this particularly simple task.
I then called the AC company. Apparently the tenant was unreachable. They tried several times. They also were willing to go out on Saturday if the tenant would have just returned a call or three. Of course, Ben didn't mention the fact the tenant hadn't returned any calls when he sent me this directiveto do his job to call the AC Company. Granted, he may not have known. For whatever reason, tenants seem to like drama.
My second to last order of business was to contact Ben. The AC Company is ready, willing and able to go to the house ONCE THE TENANT RETURNS A CALL. Short of me getting on a plane, showing up in Birmingham and tracking down the tenant, I am not sure what else can be done. To my credit, I took that last sentence out of my e-mail to him. No reason for total snark before 9 a.m.
My last order of business is to locate the contract I have in place with Mario's company and find out what to do not to renew it. I understand it isn't Ben's fault the tenant is unreachable and it is the tenant who is causing her own discomfort by not returning phone calls. However, the reason I have a property management company in the first place is so they can volley phone calls and take care of the nonsense.
I promptly e-mailed him back, explaining I was on my way to pick up Polly at summer camp and about to loose cell service. Could he please call the AC company? I omitted the part about that is why I pay them an exorbitant amount of money to handle these things. But I did add that I wanted to make sure this was taken care of ASAP, as I would hate to have my tenants uncomfortable through the weekend.
When I checked my e-mail this morning, Ben had followed up to tell me the company did not go out there and the tenant was upset. Ben's directive was for me to call the air conditioning company and make this happen.
My first order of business was to call the tenant. I left her a message giving her my info and the AC company's info. I told her we would take care of this and I was so sorry she spent the weekend without cool air. I may have also let it slip that I wasn't sure why I had a property management company if they couldn't handle this particularly simple task.
I then called the AC company. Apparently the tenant was unreachable. They tried several times. They also were willing to go out on Saturday if the tenant would have just returned a call or three. Of course, Ben didn't mention the fact the tenant hadn't returned any calls when he sent me this directive
My second to last order of business was to contact Ben. The AC Company is ready, willing and able to go to the house ONCE THE TENANT RETURNS A CALL. Short of me getting on a plane, showing up in Birmingham and tracking down the tenant, I am not sure what else can be done. To my credit, I took that last sentence out of my e-mail to him. No reason for total snark before 9 a.m.
My last order of business is to locate the contract I have in place with Mario's company and find out what to do not to renew it. I understand it isn't Ben's fault the tenant is unreachable and it is the tenant who is causing her own discomfort by not returning phone calls. However, the reason I have a property management company in the first place is so they can volley phone calls and take care of the nonsense.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Silly Question
Mrs. Green is a long-long term tenant whom I have never met. The reason I haven't met her is simply because she has caused me such an insignificant amount of grief, that she never makes my radar when I am in Birmingham. In fact, the only drama I have had with this woman was on my recent trip. I went looking for her home, only to find out that Mr. and Mrs. Green summarily moved streets on me. I distinctly remember the home being in a different location.
To give you an idea of how awesome Mrs. Green happens to be, she will often overnight the rent to me without a signature required. I have repeatedly told her it wasn't necessary to overnight the rent, I trust her, but she has thing thing about being late. I am ok with that. Especially when I don't have to stand in line for 45 minutes in the post office to retrieve my rent check. But, I am also totally ok if she would just slap a stamp on the envelope and send it over too.
Anyway, Mrs. Green sent me a text yesterday. Apparently her son just found out and/or just told her that he was being deployed. She was on her way up North somewhere to squirrel away his worldly possessions and bring them back down to her home. Her question to me was would it be ok if she paid a few days late? It wouldn't happen again. She promised.
To give you an idea of how awesome Mrs. Green happens to be, she will often overnight the rent to me without a signature required. I have repeatedly told her it wasn't necessary to overnight the rent, I trust her, but she has thing thing about being late. I am ok with that. Especially when I don't have to stand in line for 45 minutes in the post office to retrieve my rent check. But, I am also totally ok if she would just slap a stamp on the envelope and send it over too.
Anyway, Mrs. Green sent me a text yesterday. Apparently her son just found out and/or just told her that he was being deployed. She was on her way up North somewhere to squirrel away his worldly possessions and bring them back down to her home. Her question to me was would it be ok if she paid a few days late? It wouldn't happen again. She promised.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
"You Didn't Build It"
Dear Mr. President,
Recently you made a statement about how small businesses didn't really build their their businesses. Someone else built it for them. I would like to address this statement.
Someone else didn't provide me with the capital to use as down payments buy my rental homes. The money came from us saving and using the dividends from investing in other businesses. We did not receive government assistance. We earned it.
Someone else did provide me with loans. That someone is banks. At the time, the government wasn't running the banks. They are now. I can't refinance, get another loan or make my financial position better since they took over the banking industry. Just saying...
When unemployment hit 19% (yes, 19%) in Birmingham in 2009 and several of long term tenants left, someone else didn't pay my mortgages. Someone else didn't take out 401k loans (of which, is our money--not someone else's) to survive. And, thank Someone we had the money to do so!
Someone else didn't eat bread, cheese and tomatoes every night because we couldn't afford groceries. Someone else didn't do without a dryer because we couldn't afford it. Someone else didn't work extra jobs, just to ensure all the mortgages were paid on time.
But I wish they did.
Mr. President, if this someone else is still available to do all this awesome and innovative work that made our Country great, please have that person call me. I need a break. I am tired. They can take over for a while and I will rest. I am ready.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Recently you made a statement about how small businesses didn't really build their their businesses. Someone else built it for them. I would like to address this statement.
Someone else didn't provide me with the capital to use as down payments buy my rental homes. The money came from us saving and using the dividends from investing in other businesses. We did not receive government assistance. We earned it.
Someone else did provide me with loans. That someone is banks. At the time, the government wasn't running the banks. They are now. I can't refinance, get another loan or make my financial position better since they took over the banking industry. Just saying...
When unemployment hit 19% (yes, 19%) in Birmingham in 2009 and several of long term tenants left, someone else didn't pay my mortgages. Someone else didn't take out 401k loans (of which, is our money--not someone else's) to survive. And, thank Someone we had the money to do so!
Someone else didn't eat bread, cheese and tomatoes every night because we couldn't afford groceries. Someone else didn't do without a dryer because we couldn't afford it. Someone else didn't work extra jobs, just to ensure all the mortgages were paid on time.
But I wish they did.
Mr. President, if this someone else is still available to do all this awesome and innovative work that made our Country great, please have that person call me. I need a break. I am tired. They can take over for a while and I will rest. I am ready.
Sincerely,
The Landlord
Thursday, July 12, 2012
An Historic Day
Today needs to go down in history as the day Ms. Kathy pulled one over on me.
You see, I cut Ms. Kathy one heck of a deal. Option 1: leave my house. Take you money, don't pay me another dime, here's your 30 day notice. Get out of my house. Go. Go. Go. I will even refund your deposit (less any money owed--like back rent or late fees). Just go!
Or Option 2: pay up and stop whining. Just stop making my life a living hell.
If the truth be told, even though I was publicly hoping she would pay up, I was secretly pushing for Option 1. It isn't personal. Ms. Kathy isn't a bad person. She's a good egg. But I have been done with Ms. Kathy's drama for quite a while now.
But no. Ms. Kathy, however, choose door number 2. Just to be completely sure there wasn't any confusion, I called her. She not only answered the phone, but she and I chatted for 20 minutes, with her completely assuring me me, yep, she wanted to stay.
Here's how Option 2 worked: pay me something moderately substantial over the course of three weeks, with the big payment due to me early July. It was a test. Would she manage to pass all the hurdles? She did. In fact, part of the money owed was due the day I was in Birmingham. She handed me cash. She didn't even want a receipt.
In the meantime, behind the scenes, I was holding on to her payments she sent. Everything I got--including the cash--was in my safe in my home. The reason I wasn't depositing them was because Legal Eagle tells me if I cash even one check, I have acknowledged the rent and it takes longer for an eviction.
Though I think one can argue either way on this particular point, I opted to just hold her rent money to wait and see if the big payout was coming. I didn't want to take a chance this drama might drag out longer than necessary.
Additionally, I found a low-cost eviction lawyer and was ready to call as soon as it became clear I would be kicking Ms. Kathy out. And, on top of that, I was working behind the scenes with Kirby looking for potential tenants to move in early next month.
Early July came and went. There was no check. I was not shocked. In fact, I was secretly elated. Ms. Kathy would be leaving my life!
I started my happy dance. I chilled campaign.
Marty Sunshine suggested I had little faith and Ms. Kathy indeed would pay me the remainder of the rent money owed. Why would Ms. Kathy spoon feed me rent money every week when she knew if she just moved her rent debt would be forgiven and I would pay her back her deposit (less any fees she owed--like back rent) if she just moved out?
"Can't a girl just dream?" I whined.
Meanwhile, this week I got a call from a former tenant who needed a place to live early August. Did I have anything available? Possibly? How did Ms. Kathy's house sound? That sounded just great. Keep them posted.
Because of the Independence Day holiday, I opted to wait a bit longer to call the eviction lawyer. I had already decided I was no longer speaking to Ms. Kathy. Either she payed or she didn't. As far as I was concerned, the next conversation she and I had would be in court. On Tuesday, the money still hadn't arrived. I did a virtual cartwheel.
We didn't make it to the PO Box on Wednesday.
And wouldn't you know it! Ms. Kathy was all paid up on Thursday. Now let's see if she really meant it when she told me rent was now a priority.
You see, I cut Ms. Kathy one heck of a deal. Option 1: leave my house. Take you money, don't pay me another dime, here's your 30 day notice. Get out of my house. Go. Go. Go. I will even refund your deposit (less any money owed--like back rent or late fees). Just go!
Or Option 2: pay up and stop whining. Just stop making my life a living hell.
If the truth be told, even though I was publicly hoping she would pay up, I was secretly pushing for Option 1. It isn't personal. Ms. Kathy isn't a bad person. She's a good egg. But I have been done with Ms. Kathy's drama for quite a while now.
But no. Ms. Kathy, however, choose door number 2. Just to be completely sure there wasn't any confusion, I called her. She not only answered the phone, but she and I chatted for 20 minutes, with her completely assuring me me, yep, she wanted to stay.
Here's how Option 2 worked: pay me something moderately substantial over the course of three weeks, with the big payment due to me early July. It was a test. Would she manage to pass all the hurdles? She did. In fact, part of the money owed was due the day I was in Birmingham. She handed me cash. She didn't even want a receipt.
In the meantime, behind the scenes, I was holding on to her payments she sent. Everything I got--including the cash--was in my safe in my home. The reason I wasn't depositing them was because Legal Eagle tells me if I cash even one check, I have acknowledged the rent and it takes longer for an eviction.
Though I think one can argue either way on this particular point, I opted to just hold her rent money to wait and see if the big payout was coming. I didn't want to take a chance this drama might drag out longer than necessary.
Additionally, I found a low-cost eviction lawyer and was ready to call as soon as it became clear I would be kicking Ms. Kathy out. And, on top of that, I was working behind the scenes with Kirby looking for potential tenants to move in early next month.
Early July came and went. There was no check. I was not shocked. In fact, I was secretly elated. Ms. Kathy would be leaving my life!
I started my happy dance. I chilled campaign.
Marty Sunshine suggested I had little faith and Ms. Kathy indeed would pay me the remainder of the rent money owed. Why would Ms. Kathy spoon feed me rent money every week when she knew if she just moved her rent debt would be forgiven and I would pay her back her deposit (less any fees she owed--like back rent) if she just moved out?
"Can't a girl just dream?" I whined.
Meanwhile, this week I got a call from a former tenant who needed a place to live early August. Did I have anything available? Possibly? How did Ms. Kathy's house sound? That sounded just great. Keep them posted.
Because of the Independence Day holiday, I opted to wait a bit longer to call the eviction lawyer. I had already decided I was no longer speaking to Ms. Kathy. Either she payed or she didn't. As far as I was concerned, the next conversation she and I had would be in court. On Tuesday, the money still hadn't arrived. I did a virtual cartwheel.
We didn't make it to the PO Box on Wednesday.
And wouldn't you know it! Ms. Kathy was all paid up on Thursday. Now let's see if she really meant it when she told me rent was now a priority.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Southern Extortion
I am being extorted by the City of Alabaster. Apparently they just figured out I own a rental home in their glorious town. According to their records, it has been a rental since 2008 and I owe them a substantial amount of money for every year since 2008. And, if I cheerfully pay up right now, they won't assess any back fees. How nice of them.
Actually, the home has been a rental longer than that. But why quibble?
The letter was signed by some coward called the "Revenue Department" who also said I was to fill out the enclosed form immediately. And, just to be utterly difficult, there is no form enclosed to fill out--though I did find a very poorly photocopied form on their Web site of what I believe the letter was talking about.
One of the most curious aspects of this particular letter is that the Revenue Department addressed their letter to the wrong business--my property management company and not the LLC that actually owns the rental. This is highly suspicious.
Because the company name is wrong on my letter, Marty Sunshine is surmising Ms. Shirley gave them an anonymous phone call about my home. I could see her being a big enough busy-body to do that. And yes, Ms. Shirley moved in around 2008.
I half-wonder if this is legitimate. Revenue Department? The company name wrong? No enclosed form attached? However, we are talking about Alabaster Alabama, the small town capital of the South. Things are more laid back. That could be why it took five-ish years for them to find me to begin with.
Just to cover my bases, I talked with Mr. Wonderful, my newest tenant in Alabaster. He is also a business owner, civic leader and a whole litany of other things--according to Mr. 114, who graciously gave me his resume when I was considering him as a tenant. Mr. Wonderful confirmed the letter is legit. And, it is probably best to just comply than to skirt around it.
Actually, the home has been a rental longer than that. But why quibble?
The letter was signed by some coward called the "Revenue Department" who also said I was to fill out the enclosed form immediately. And, just to be utterly difficult, there is no form enclosed to fill out--though I did find a very poorly photocopied form on their Web site of what I believe the letter was talking about.
One of the most curious aspects of this particular letter is that the Revenue Department addressed their letter to the wrong business--my property management company and not the LLC that actually owns the rental. This is highly suspicious.
Because the company name is wrong on my letter, Marty Sunshine is surmising Ms. Shirley gave them an anonymous phone call about my home. I could see her being a big enough busy-body to do that. And yes, Ms. Shirley moved in around 2008.
I half-wonder if this is legitimate. Revenue Department? The company name wrong? No enclosed form attached? However, we are talking about Alabaster Alabama, the small town capital of the South. Things are more laid back. That could be why it took five-ish years for them to find me to begin with.
Just to cover my bases, I talked with Mr. Wonderful, my newest tenant in Alabaster. He is also a business owner, civic leader and a whole litany of other things--according to Mr. 114, who graciously gave me his resume when I was considering him as a tenant. Mr. Wonderful confirmed the letter is legit. And, it is probably best to just comply than to skirt around it.
Friday, July 06, 2012
Succesfully Conducting Business In the South
If one is not from the South, and one wants to successfully do business in the South, there are certain hoops to jump through. It is reasonable--and people don't find it the least bit intrusive or personal--to expect to be questioned fully about one's lineage. "Where are you from? Is there anyone in your family who is from the South? Who gave you permission to step foot in the South?" Are all fair game.
I had this particular conversation with Opal, Kirby's administrative assistant, when I was in town last week. She also happens to be from Mesa. I asked her if, when she first moved to Birmingham if people regarded her as some sort of circus freak show because she wasn't from the South.
This elicited a "Hey now!" from Kirby, with Opal giving him a dismissive wave and to me a knowing, "Oh yes!" (complete with her head wildly bobbing up and down).
Kirby may have taken offense to my line of questioning, but Opal understood immediately. Nobody, is welcome in the South unless they are there for a darn good reason. Relocating for employment is not a darn good reason.
If one cannot prove Southern pedigree, the only other way I have seen to gain ground is to have pat answers ready to go on a variety sports topics. One can expect a question about Alabama football. In case it comes up, the current coach is Nick Saban, they have claimed 14 national titles, with the most recent being in 2012. The championship came last January was, "Quite a game." (note the pat answer).
Also, be expected to know something random about any professional sport from NASCAR to golf and everything in between. I always cross my fingers for a baseball question. However, if it isn't, pat answers come in handy.
Also, it is best for one to be prepared to follow up later with an expanded conversation--just to prove one has a slight clue. For example, Steve Nash signed with the Los Angeles Lakers yesterday. In the note I sent to Flip, I was able to say, "To local Sun's fans, Steve Nash going to the Lakers is like Nick Saban deciding to coach for Auburn."
If all of the above doesn't work, you are on your own.
I had this particular conversation with Opal, Kirby's administrative assistant, when I was in town last week. She also happens to be from Mesa. I asked her if, when she first moved to Birmingham if people regarded her as some sort of circus freak show because she wasn't from the South.
This elicited a "Hey now!" from Kirby, with Opal giving him a dismissive wave and to me a knowing, "Oh yes!" (complete with her head wildly bobbing up and down).
Kirby may have taken offense to my line of questioning, but Opal understood immediately. Nobody, is welcome in the South unless they are there for a darn good reason. Relocating for employment is not a darn good reason.
If one cannot prove Southern pedigree, the only other way I have seen to gain ground is to have pat answers ready to go on a variety sports topics. One can expect a question about Alabama football. In case it comes up, the current coach is Nick Saban, they have claimed 14 national titles, with the most recent being in 2012. The championship came last January was, "Quite a game." (note the pat answer).
Also, be expected to know something random about any professional sport from NASCAR to golf and everything in between. I always cross my fingers for a baseball question. However, if it isn't, pat answers come in handy.
Also, it is best for one to be prepared to follow up later with an expanded conversation--just to prove one has a slight clue. For example, Steve Nash signed with the Los Angeles Lakers yesterday. In the note I sent to Flip, I was able to say, "To local Sun's fans, Steve Nash going to the Lakers is like Nick Saban deciding to coach for Auburn."
If all of the above doesn't work, you are on your own.
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Today's Headache
Dear Ms. Angie,
You need to figure out the whole time-zone thing. And more importantly--and I can't stress this enough--you need to stop calling me with out-of-warranty costly emergencies.
Thank you,
The Landlord
You need to figure out the whole time-zone thing. And more importantly--and I can't stress this enough--you need to stop calling me with out-of-warranty costly emergencies.
Thank you,
The Landlord
Monday, July 02, 2012
A Raised Eyebrow or Two
In getting my small administrative matter resolved, Flip warned me last week that he will probably need to speak with Kirby and Mario--my two Birmingham property managers. Because I didn't really want my property managers blindsided a lawyer asking lots of personal questions, I gave them fair warning in the shape of an e-mail over the weekend.
However, I certainly don't want to tell them about my issue because it may just raise a few thousand red flags about, but not limited to, my business practices. Which, I assure you are completely ethical. However, my business practices will look a lot cleaner once I get this teensy-tiny matter resolved.
Now, you try writing a quick e-mail to a causal acquaintance (Kirby) and someone you are barely on speaking terms with (Mario) saying something akin to, "In the event a lawyer guy named Flip calls you, please provide leases and answer any questions related to his inquiry. But, don't worry, my administrative issue doesn't (exactly) concern your tenants or your property management company."
Honestly, it is the equivalent of stating, "There is nothing to see here. Just keep moving."
I am pretty sure Kirby and I are getting along well enough that he will decide it is nothing, and just do what is asked. Hopefully Mario affords me at least the same courtesy--even though if I were him, I would certainly ask questions. As he should. Mario isn't stupid (nor is Kirby). Hopefully if it comes up, I will have the right answers.
Later: Got a response from Mario: "No problem. Happy to help." Whew!
However, I certainly don't want to tell them about my issue because it may just raise a few thousand red flags about, but not limited to, my business practices. Which, I assure you are completely ethical. However, my business practices will look a lot cleaner once I get this teensy-tiny matter resolved.
Now, you try writing a quick e-mail to a causal acquaintance (Kirby) and someone you are barely on speaking terms with (Mario) saying something akin to, "In the event a lawyer guy named Flip calls you, please provide leases and answer any questions related to his inquiry. But, don't worry, my administrative issue doesn't (exactly) concern your tenants or your property management company."
Honestly, it is the equivalent of stating, "There is nothing to see here. Just keep moving."
I am pretty sure Kirby and I are getting along well enough that he will decide it is nothing, and just do what is asked. Hopefully Mario affords me at least the same courtesy--even though if I were him, I would certainly ask questions. As he should. Mario isn't stupid (nor is Kirby). Hopefully if it comes up, I will have the right answers.
Later: Got a response from Mario: "No problem. Happy to help." Whew!
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Flipping Awesome
It is Sunday. Flip sent me an e-mail today letting me know he is already working on my issue.
Today!
Sunday!
In case I haven't mentioned this: Flip is awesome.
In his e-mail, Flip commented that Steve Nash (I have since found out he is/was the Sun's point guard) is signing somewhere else. I responded by giving him a bit of Arizona Diamondbacks trivia.
I really appreciate Flip going the extra 10 miles for me on this one. Even if I have to learn something about basketball.
Today!
Sunday!
In case I haven't mentioned this: Flip is awesome.
In his e-mail, Flip commented that Steve Nash (I have since found out he is/was the Sun's point guard) is signing somewhere else. I responded by giving him a bit of Arizona Diamondbacks trivia.
I really appreciate Flip going the extra 10 miles for me on this one. Even if I have to learn something about basketball.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Back Flip
Author's Note: I would like to send out my personal thanks to Steve Nash. Thank you. If you don't sign with the Suns that's ok. Best of luck to you.
Before my meeting with Flip, Carolsue, a Birmingham paralegal for numerous years, sat me down and advised me on how to effectively deal with Flip. According to Carolsue, I was to channel my inner "white Yankee bitch." Apparently, playing it polite and professional was not going to work with Southern male lawyers and I needed to take the white gloves off and be ready to go off on Flip at a moment's notice.
And, after waiting a good 30 minutes for Flip (10 because I showed up early to our meeting), I was had my "I am your worst nightmare" attitude chambered and ready to go at a moment's notice. Of course, I had a smile on my face the entire time.
Flip and I started the meeting with Flip telling me how everyone loved Attorney Jon. Which is a sentiment I happen to agree with. Attorney Jon was wonderful. And then he candidly told me the how Attorney Jon died.
And, because three people on this trip alone independently brought the circumstances of his death (again) to my attention, it is either the worst kept secret in the South or common knowledge. So, I am ok writing about it at this point. Attorney Jon took his life. I have known this for almost a year ago. And, for those of you playing along on the Sage Business home edition, perhaps you can see why this has been so painful and difficult for me to process Attorney Jon's death. So, give a girl a break, will you?
Anyway, back to Flip. After the customary how-do-you-dos, and speaking about Attorney Jon and the family he left behind, Flip started explaining what legal steps I can take, including malpractice. Otherwise, he would be happy to find the right lawyer to take care of my issue as well. I stopped him right there and explained there was no reason to go the malpractice route. I don't want to get Mrs. Late Attorney Jon or his children involved. I just want my issue fixed.
And, I didn't think my problem was a tough issue, but one that needed a legal-type to finish for me. Essentially, my situation isn't a disaster, we are just extremely vulnerable if the wrong sorts find out. We need to be protected properly. Attorney Jon was to have handled this.
As we spent several moments going through my papers, with me showing him the precedents and the documents that led up to my unfortunate situation, I wasn't comfortable I had won Flip over. I was ready. I had white Yankee bitch on reserve.
And then, out of the blue, Flip turned to me, paused for a moment and then said, "So, do you think Steve Nash will re-sign with the Suns?"
I have no idea. I don't follow basketball. "I hope so. He was a valuable contribution last year," I replied. Apparently that was the right answer.
And Flip eased up.
A few minutes later, Flip and I were sharing fun memories of Attorney Jon. Flip was telling me about his daughter who is about to enter college and took a vow of purity. He handed me a business card and then took out the legal pad. He asked me if Marty Sunshine went by Marty or Martin. And he wrote down the answer. And just to put me completely at ease from that point forward, he didn't take the next 970 phone calls that came in for him while I was there.
As we were parting I asked what the next steps happened to be. And, I got a reasonable answer. Flip doesn't feel I have been harmed (no malpractice necessary, Attorney Jon's widow doesn't have to be involved). However, there is some neglect. And, he agrees we are vulnerable. Provided the other parties in question are reasonable (meaning we don't have to go to court--and he did ask if necessary would I testify about some of the papers I gave him), this shouldn't cost me that much to fix. I don't see how this will go to court. The other parties involved would have a hard time getting legal counsel to represent them under the circumstances. I am in the right.
When I left, I was emotionally spent. This had been the crux of my trip. I need this fixed. It can harm us if it is left undone. And now, it looks like it will be done.
Before my meeting with Flip, Carolsue, a Birmingham paralegal for numerous years, sat me down and advised me on how to effectively deal with Flip. According to Carolsue, I was to channel my inner "white Yankee bitch." Apparently, playing it polite and professional was not going to work with Southern male lawyers and I needed to take the white gloves off and be ready to go off on Flip at a moment's notice.
And, after waiting a good 30 minutes for Flip (10 because I showed up early to our meeting), I was had my "I am your worst nightmare" attitude chambered and ready to go at a moment's notice. Of course, I had a smile on my face the entire time.
Flip and I started the meeting with Flip telling me how everyone loved Attorney Jon. Which is a sentiment I happen to agree with. Attorney Jon was wonderful. And then he candidly told me the how Attorney Jon died.
And, because three people on this trip alone independently brought the circumstances of his death (again) to my attention, it is either the worst kept secret in the South or common knowledge. So, I am ok writing about it at this point. Attorney Jon took his life. I have known this for almost a year ago. And, for those of you playing along on the Sage Business home edition, perhaps you can see why this has been so painful and difficult for me to process Attorney Jon's death. So, give a girl a break, will you?
Anyway, back to Flip. After the customary how-do-you-dos, and speaking about Attorney Jon and the family he left behind, Flip started explaining what legal steps I can take, including malpractice. Otherwise, he would be happy to find the right lawyer to take care of my issue as well. I stopped him right there and explained there was no reason to go the malpractice route. I don't want to get Mrs. Late Attorney Jon or his children involved. I just want my issue fixed.
And, I didn't think my problem was a tough issue, but one that needed a legal-type to finish for me. Essentially, my situation isn't a disaster, we are just extremely vulnerable if the wrong sorts find out. We need to be protected properly. Attorney Jon was to have handled this.
As we spent several moments going through my papers, with me showing him the precedents and the documents that led up to my unfortunate situation, I wasn't comfortable I had won Flip over. I was ready. I had white Yankee bitch on reserve.
And then, out of the blue, Flip turned to me, paused for a moment and then said, "So, do you think Steve Nash will re-sign with the Suns?"
I have no idea. I don't follow basketball. "I hope so. He was a valuable contribution last year," I replied. Apparently that was the right answer.
And Flip eased up.
A few minutes later, Flip and I were sharing fun memories of Attorney Jon. Flip was telling me about his daughter who is about to enter college and took a vow of purity. He handed me a business card and then took out the legal pad. He asked me if Marty Sunshine went by Marty or Martin. And he wrote down the answer. And just to put me completely at ease from that point forward, he didn't take the next 970 phone calls that came in for him while I was there.
As we were parting I asked what the next steps happened to be. And, I got a reasonable answer. Flip doesn't feel I have been harmed (no malpractice necessary, Attorney Jon's widow doesn't have to be involved). However, there is some neglect. And, he agrees we are vulnerable. Provided the other parties in question are reasonable (meaning we don't have to go to court--and he did ask if necessary would I testify about some of the papers I gave him), this shouldn't cost me that much to fix. I don't see how this will go to court. The other parties involved would have a hard time getting legal counsel to represent them under the circumstances. I am in the right.
When I left, I was emotionally spent. This had been the crux of my trip. I need this fixed. It can harm us if it is left undone. And now, it looks like it will be done.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Why Do Elephants Have Red Toenails?
*To hide in the strawberry patch. Duh!
I had dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack on Tuesday night. For the most part, it was a lovely meal, with good company and great conversation. Except there was an elephant in the room.
You know what it is like when there is an elephant in the room, right? Wouldn't it just be nice if a conversation could go like this:
Person 1: "Hey did you see that elephant in the room?"
Person 2: "Yea, I wonder how it got in. Did you leave the door open?"
Person 1: "No, but the window was ajar when I was here a bit earlier. Perhaps it snuck in."
Person 1 and 2 in unison: "Hmmm..."
Instead, it goes something like this:
Person 1: "Do you smell something?"
Person 2: "Aren't those peanut shells on the floor?"
Person 1: "Is that ivory right over there next to that big lumpy gray thing?"
Person 1 and 2 in unison: "Hmmm..."
In our case, the elephant was my meeting with Flip. You see, Mr. and Mrs. Jack are very good friends with Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. Flip, the attorney assigned by the Alabama BAR Association to handle all things related to Late Attorney Jon, had to ask the Mrs. Late Attorney Jon for my files. And, of course, there was no explanation other than I was coming to town and the Late Attorney Jon didn't finish what he started. One could (very easily) speculate this might be cause for a malpractice claim.
So, there I was having dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack. And every so often the conversation would steer to Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. Or, out of the blue Jack would say something like "What brings you to Birmingham?" or "So, have you had any business meetings since you arrived?" or "What do you plan on doing at 2:27 p.m. on Wednesday?"
I decided, as soon as I caught on to his line of questioning, not to tell him anything unless he asked flat out. It doesn't concern Jack. And I don't want to tell him his dear friend of 30 years kinda missed the boat on a simple matter he was supposed to take care of. But, if he came out and asked, I would have shared--in a simple, let's-not-get-carried-away-it-is-no-big-deal-sort-of-fashion. I trust Jack completely, I just don't want him involved with this.
However, Jack didn't ask. Instead, he danced around it, so I made a game of waiting to see how long it would take him to get to the point. Possibly next week when I am up to it, I will send him a quick note and mention I saw Flip (turns out they know each other). And, maybe I will also causally mention I saw the elephant in the room.
I had dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack on Tuesday night. For the most part, it was a lovely meal, with good company and great conversation. Except there was an elephant in the room.
You know what it is like when there is an elephant in the room, right? Wouldn't it just be nice if a conversation could go like this:
Person 1: "Hey did you see that elephant in the room?"
Person 2: "Yea, I wonder how it got in. Did you leave the door open?"
Person 1: "No, but the window was ajar when I was here a bit earlier. Perhaps it snuck in."
Person 1 and 2 in unison: "Hmmm..."
Instead, it goes something like this:
Person 1: "Do you smell something?"
Person 2: "Aren't those peanut shells on the floor?"
Person 1: "Is that ivory right over there next to that big lumpy gray thing?"
Person 1 and 2 in unison: "Hmmm..."
In our case, the elephant was my meeting with Flip. You see, Mr. and Mrs. Jack are very good friends with Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. Flip, the attorney assigned by the Alabama BAR Association to handle all things related to Late Attorney Jon, had to ask the Mrs. Late Attorney Jon for my files. And, of course, there was no explanation other than I was coming to town and the Late Attorney Jon didn't finish what he started. One could (very easily) speculate this might be cause for a malpractice claim.
So, there I was having dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack. And every so often the conversation would steer to Mrs. Late Attorney Jon. Or, out of the blue Jack would say something like "What brings you to Birmingham?" or "So, have you had any business meetings since you arrived?" or "What do you plan on doing at 2:27 p.m. on Wednesday?"
I decided, as soon as I caught on to his line of questioning, not to tell him anything unless he asked flat out. It doesn't concern Jack. And I don't want to tell him his dear friend of 30 years kinda missed the boat on a simple matter he was supposed to take care of. But, if he came out and asked, I would have shared--in a simple, let's-not-get-carried-away-it-is-no-big-deal-sort-of-fashion. I trust Jack completely, I just don't want him involved with this.
However, Jack didn't ask. Instead, he danced around it, so I made a game of waiting to see how long it would take him to get to the point. Possibly next week when I am up to it, I will send him a quick note and mention I saw Flip (turns out they know each other). And, maybe I will also causally mention I saw the elephant in the room.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Wednesday
Before meeting with Flip today, I swung into Our Lady of Sorrows for a quick word with Jesus. It turns out I ran across another old friend too.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A Bama Day
Let me just begin by saying Birmingham-ites are wimps. They think they have "heavy traffic." They think it is hot. They think they have illegal immigration issues. Stand in line behind us Zonies!
Now that we have that out of the way....
I left the hotel today at 8 a.m. only to find out that my Leeds house was also not where I left it. And, if you want to know the whole truth, Ashville Road--one of the main drags into Leeds--had also taken leave. Thanks to a nice gentleman who gave me directions like, "stay on this road a spell, then turn left at the fourth blue mailbox and then two rights and another left at the second church you see," I was able to successfully find my way back to I-20 in only three tries.
I also inspected four houses today.
Home number one: the tenant told me some seriously personal information that should only be reserved for a therapist. I am not sure how I was supposed to react. I chose to skedaddle. Before all that though, I did get a chance to check everything out. The house was in good condition. She asked if she could paint and would I be willing to fix the rotted wood in the deck. Yes to both. The rotted wood was a bit of a concern to me. How long had she been living under those conditions? She swore not long.
The next homes Kirby came with me. The first one is my only foray into Section 8 housing. The place was clean, and well cared for. However, this tenant and I had gone back and forth about her dogs, with my answer being no, she could not have them. Her dog wasn't there. But there was evidence he had been there very recently. Good old Kirby can look into that.
Another interesting note about the Section 8 tenant: she drove a Suburban. She also had an Escalade in her garage. She also had nicer furnishings than I, including lots of expensive toys. Her children were in daycare--though she doesn't work.
When I mentioned to Kirby that she sure did live well for someone on Section 8. He pointed out that she doesn't actually own anything. Rent-to-own places call his company all the time trying to track down wayward tenants. It made me slightly sick to see this. I work hard for my money (or lack thereof) and here we have someone living on the tax dollars of someone else. I really do feel like I have compromised my principals on renting to her. At the time, this was the best we could get. I am not sure I want to renew her lease when it comes up.
The second house Kirby and I went to is out in the country. I actually had never been there before And, ironically, Kirby told me the house had moved since he had last been there too, as we drove around on the top of the mountain, through the woods tograndmother's house my rental home. I had seen pictures, and I kinda knew what to expect--two acres, in good shape, cute house with a full front porch that is aching for a swing. But I was pleasantly surprised anyway, It was all of the above and then some. The tenants never want to leave (tenants always say that--and you know what, I don't always agree with them on that particular point). The house was spotless and was it ok if they put up a fence at their own expense?
The last home was my Fultondale property. The family that lives there now grew up in the area. They have six kids and the place was spotless, sans the plumbers who were fixing the leaking master shower. I knew about the master shower and wasn't surprised to see them. I was surprised to see the pit bull-great dane mix that was living in the back yard without a fence. Kirby gets to deal with that too.
The tenants were too chatty for my taste. I find that overly friendly tenants in general like to win me over, but don't have a lot of substance. Kirby agreed. He had noticed that about them too. The wife was a bit miffed and repeatedly let me know it. Apparently the plumbers she requested a couple of weeks ago came out today to fix the shower and what a coincidence that I just happened to come in town too. Again, I wasn't sure what to say, so I said "I'm glad it is getting fixed" and "I'm sorry Mr. Kirby didn't take care of it before this" (Earlier, in his office, Mr. Kirby showed me the work orders, including the number of times his staff called them to set appointments and the tenants didn't call back or postponed the plumbers.). Whatever I said didn't seem to satisfy her. Sorry her shower leaked. It is being fixed. Can we please drop it now?
The tenants asked if they could paint. Sure. Why not--especially if it means we can talk about something other than her broken shower. Then they asked if we would be willing to sell. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The house needs some general maintenance. The tenants like being there. The place cash flows, but I could use the equity elsewhere. We left it with 1: the dog goes and 2: let me check with Marty Sunshine. And if we decide to sell later, than sooner, they can have first rights of refusal.
I rounded out the day with dinner with friends (more on that later) and made it back to the hotel in time to see the Braves annihilate my Diamondbacks.
Off to bed so that I can get ready for my big date with Flip.
Now that we have that out of the way....
I left the hotel today at 8 a.m. only to find out that my Leeds house was also not where I left it. And, if you want to know the whole truth, Ashville Road--one of the main drags into Leeds--had also taken leave. Thanks to a nice gentleman who gave me directions like, "stay on this road a spell, then turn left at the fourth blue mailbox and then two rights and another left at the second church you see," I was able to successfully find my way back to I-20 in only three tries.
I also inspected four houses today.
Home number one: the tenant told me some seriously personal information that should only be reserved for a therapist. I am not sure how I was supposed to react. I chose to skedaddle. Before all that though, I did get a chance to check everything out. The house was in good condition. She asked if she could paint and would I be willing to fix the rotted wood in the deck. Yes to both. The rotted wood was a bit of a concern to me. How long had she been living under those conditions? She swore not long.
The next homes Kirby came with me. The first one is my only foray into Section 8 housing. The place was clean, and well cared for. However, this tenant and I had gone back and forth about her dogs, with my answer being no, she could not have them. Her dog wasn't there. But there was evidence he had been there very recently. Good old Kirby can look into that.
Another interesting note about the Section 8 tenant: she drove a Suburban. She also had an Escalade in her garage. She also had nicer furnishings than I, including lots of expensive toys. Her children were in daycare--though she doesn't work.
When I mentioned to Kirby that she sure did live well for someone on Section 8. He pointed out that she doesn't actually own anything. Rent-to-own places call his company all the time trying to track down wayward tenants. It made me slightly sick to see this. I work hard for my money (or lack thereof) and here we have someone living on the tax dollars of someone else. I really do feel like I have compromised my principals on renting to her. At the time, this was the best we could get. I am not sure I want to renew her lease when it comes up.
The second house Kirby and I went to is out in the country. I actually had never been there before And, ironically, Kirby told me the house had moved since he had last been there too, as we drove around on the top of the mountain, through the woods to
The last home was my Fultondale property. The family that lives there now grew up in the area. They have six kids and the place was spotless, sans the plumbers who were fixing the leaking master shower. I knew about the master shower and wasn't surprised to see them. I was surprised to see the pit bull-great dane mix that was living in the back yard without a fence. Kirby gets to deal with that too.
The tenants were too chatty for my taste. I find that overly friendly tenants in general like to win me over, but don't have a lot of substance. Kirby agreed. He had noticed that about them too. The wife was a bit miffed and repeatedly let me know it. Apparently the plumbers she requested a couple of weeks ago came out today to fix the shower and what a coincidence that I just happened to come in town too. Again, I wasn't sure what to say, so I said "I'm glad it is getting fixed" and "I'm sorry Mr. Kirby didn't take care of it before this" (Earlier, in his office, Mr. Kirby showed me the work orders, including the number of times his staff called them to set appointments and the tenants didn't call back or postponed the plumbers.). Whatever I said didn't seem to satisfy her. Sorry her shower leaked. It is being fixed. Can we please drop it now?
The tenants asked if they could paint. Sure. Why not--especially if it means we can talk about something other than her broken shower. Then they asked if we would be willing to sell. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The house needs some general maintenance. The tenants like being there. The place cash flows, but I could use the equity elsewhere. We left it with 1: the dog goes and 2: let me check with Marty Sunshine. And if we decide to sell later, than sooner, they can have first rights of refusal.
I rounded out the day with dinner with friends (more on that later) and made it back to the hotel in time to see the Braves annihilate my Diamondbacks.
Off to bed so that I can get ready for my big date with Flip.
Monday, June 25, 2012
My Trip To Birmingham So Far
The second most annoying aspect of my trip is that Birmingham has moved everything. The car rental place was no longer located where it was last time I was in Birmingham. The hotel I have stayed out countless times before wasn't where I thought it would be. The freeway exit I used wasn't there. In fact, the freeway exit I accidently took dumped me off into East Lake. ("East Lake" is synomous with a very creepy part of town. Jack told me a story once of him owning rentals in East Lake and watching a mob riot through his rentals with him helplessly watching. As a general rule, I stay out of East Lake.)
And, after going out this morning to view my rentals, the three I found were not where I left them last year. However, from what I could see when I finally did track them down, they were all in reasonable condtion. I noticed Ms. Angie's roof looked really great--and then I realized we just put a roof on her home, so it better look great.
The most annoying aspect of my trip is a nasty stomach bug I picked up. And for the record, it wasn't Carolsue's fault.
And, after going out this morning to view my rentals, the three I found were not where I left them last year. However, from what I could see when I finally did track them down, they were all in reasonable condtion. I noticed Ms. Angie's roof looked really great--and then I realized we just put a roof on her home, so it better look great.
The most annoying aspect of my trip is a nasty stomach bug I picked up. And for the record, it wasn't Carolsue's fault.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Fried Chicken, Her Granny's Southern Baked Beans, Banana Cream Pie and Something with Bourbon
Carolsue is feeding me dinner tonight. Apparently she has been slaving over a hot stove for two weeks. I am getting a six-course Southern meal. Which is very useful because my flight is timed so that I don't get lunch.
When Carolsue sent me the menu last week, she wrote the following: "Here's the menu. What aren't you allergic to?" Of course, the answer was I am allergic to just about everything. But no matter. Dinner with Carolsue will be a good way to start my Birmingham trip. I hope to be a good guest and not go into anaphylaxis.
When Carolsue sent me the menu last week, she wrote the following: "Here's the menu. What aren't you allergic to?" Of course, the answer was I am allergic to just about everything. But no matter. Dinner with Carolsue will be a good way to start my Birmingham trip. I hope to be a good guest and not go into anaphylaxis.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Flip Flop*
*Ok, seriously? You didn't see that coming?
Word got to Flip through his second cousin's fifth grade teacher's barber's brother's son's piano teacher that I wanted to spend 30 minutes of time with Mr. Flip. And I now have an appointment.
Word got to Flip through his second cousin's fifth grade teacher's barber's brother's son's piano teacher that I wanted to spend 30 minutes of time with Mr. Flip. And I now have an appointment.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Flipping Off*
*Come now, you knew that headline was coming.
Did I mention nothing, and I mean nothing, happens in concurrence with the Roman calendar in the South?
Still trying to get in touch with Flip. I have resorted to stalking him via e-mail (with me politely explaining how I got his e-mail in the first place), smoke signals and carrier pigeons. Still nothing. What I haven't done is hunt down his first cousin's next door neighbor's best friend in sixth grade who might get a message to him. That's how things seem to work in the South. It is faster than a telephone.
I know I have a few other options, including but not limited to:
Did I mention nothing, and I mean nothing, happens in concurrence with the Roman calendar in the South?
Still trying to get in touch with Flip. I have resorted to stalking him via e-mail (with me politely explaining how I got his e-mail in the first place), smoke signals and carrier pigeons. Still nothing. What I haven't done is hunt down his first cousin's next door neighbor's best friend in sixth grade who might get a message to him. That's how things seem to work in the South. It is faster than a telephone.
I know I have a few other options, including but not limited to:
- Contacting the Alabama BAR
- Contacting another lawyer
- Suing Attorney Jon's estate for malpractice
- Forgetting the whole thing, because after all this particular issue hasn't been resolved in years--though it should have been.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Flipping Out
Getting to see Flip, the lawyer I really need to see, is an exercise in patience and perseverance. So far I have gotten an introduction from Legal Eagle--with his blessing for me to call him. Then I called him and was ignored. Then I called again and spoke to his partner's paralegal (his apparently was on vacation) who relayed a message to Mr. Flip.
Mr. Flip, in turn, relayed a message to his partner's paralegal that he "might" be able to see me but first he needs to get my file from the Late Mrs. Attorney Jon--who has all of the Late Attorney Jon's files. And, what was this about exactly?
I managed to summarize the brief synopsis I sent to Legal Eagle a couple of weeks ago, into a more condensed version, which included words like, "a simple matter that can be easily resolved" and "no big issue really" and "I am only going to be in town for just a couple of days." However, I suspect this is going to be a huge issue that won't be easily resolved and will require more patience and perseverance. But I am trying to keep positive thoughts.
I am supposed to call back Friday if I haven't heard from Flip by then.
And I am guessing I know exactly what I will be doing on Friday.
Mr. Flip, in turn, relayed a message to his partner's paralegal that he "might" be able to see me but first he needs to get my file from the Late Mrs. Attorney Jon--who has all of the Late Attorney Jon's files. And, what was this about exactly?
I managed to summarize the brief synopsis I sent to Legal Eagle a couple of weeks ago, into a more condensed version, which included words like, "a simple matter that can be easily resolved" and "no big issue really" and "I am only going to be in town for just a couple of days." However, I suspect this is going to be a huge issue that won't be easily resolved and will require more patience and perseverance. But I am trying to keep positive thoughts.
I am supposed to call back Friday if I haven't heard from Flip by then.
And I am guessing I know exactly what I will be doing on Friday.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Strictly Business
There really is a method to my madness. I promise.
Before lawyer costs, assuming I can get the home rented within a month, and assuming Ms. Kathy leaves the home in reasonable condition, I stand to loose about $3000 in the next year if I let her leave. Why?
Ms. Kathy pays a premium for her neighborhood. Rents dropped about two years ago. They are leveling off, but they are still lower than they were when she moved in. But, then again, I pay a premium for Ms. Kathy.
I don't have to hire a property manager to manage Ms. Kathy. But, I will with the next tenant. That alone is a drop of 10 percent (or whatever I negotiate) of what ever I get for rent.
This home is a three bedroom, one bath with no carport or garage. I didn't know that when I bought it. The realtor lied. I get more than market-share for rent, so I don't have a case to go after the realtor for lying. However, three bedroom, one bath homes with no carports aren't as desirable as a three bedroom, two bath home with a garage. If you see what I mean.
So, when Ms. Kathy came back to me--on her own mind you--saying she wanted to stay, and here is her realistic plan for being current, I was willing to entertain her offer. What she didn't know is that I will loose money if she leaves. What I knew (but didn't tell her) is that she has very strong ties to the neighborhood, having grown up a few homes down the block and her sister lives next door. That was motivation for her to figure out how to make this work.
What I also didn't tell her was in early July I will evict her out on the street if she doesn't follow through like she said she would. It really is only a few weeks away. But, we can keep that to ourselves for now.
Before lawyer costs, assuming I can get the home rented within a month, and assuming Ms. Kathy leaves the home in reasonable condition, I stand to loose about $3000 in the next year if I let her leave. Why?
Ms. Kathy pays a premium for her neighborhood. Rents dropped about two years ago. They are leveling off, but they are still lower than they were when she moved in. But, then again, I pay a premium for Ms. Kathy.
I don't have to hire a property manager to manage Ms. Kathy. But, I will with the next tenant. That alone is a drop of 10 percent (or whatever I negotiate) of what ever I get for rent.
This home is a three bedroom, one bath with no carport or garage. I didn't know that when I bought it. The realtor lied. I get more than market-share for rent, so I don't have a case to go after the realtor for lying. However, three bedroom, one bath homes with no carports aren't as desirable as a three bedroom, two bath home with a garage. If you see what I mean.
So, when Ms. Kathy came back to me--on her own mind you--saying she wanted to stay, and here is her realistic plan for being current, I was willing to entertain her offer. What she didn't know is that I will loose money if she leaves. What I knew (but didn't tell her) is that she has very strong ties to the neighborhood, having grown up a few homes down the block and her sister lives next door. That was motivation for her to figure out how to make this work.
What I also didn't tell her was in early July I will evict her out on the street if she doesn't follow through like she said she would. It really is only a few weeks away. But, we can keep that to ourselves for now.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Flipping for Joy
In keeping with a quirkiness I have only experienced in the Southern part of the United States, this new lawyer has stereotypical weird nickname generally reserved for 1970s game show contestants clad in leisure suits. If you are a lawyer, should you do business by your nickname? Even in the South?
I am pleased to tell you that my 17 paragraph "brief synopsis" was enough for Legal Eagle to pave the way for me to call Flip* (new lawyer) to set a possible appointment. The message I left made me sound like a 14 year old wallflower. I cringed as I spoke into this guy's voicemail, wondering if I sounded professional and not desperate--though I am pretty sure I sounded neither. Hopefully he will call me back.
*As with almost everything on this blog, names are changed to protect the unassuming. But, his name is sorta-close to "Flip".
I am pleased to tell you that my 17 paragraph "brief synopsis" was enough for Legal Eagle to pave the way for me to call Flip* (new lawyer) to set a possible appointment. The message I left made me sound like a 14 year old wallflower. I cringed as I spoke into this guy's voicemail, wondering if I sounded professional and not desperate--though I am pretty sure I sounded neither. Hopefully he will call me back.
*As with almost everything on this blog, names are changed to protect the unassuming. But, his name is sorta-close to "Flip".
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Rules of Engagement
Apparently it is easier to crash a White House State Dinner than it is to get an appointment with this lawyer. Legal Eagle sent me an e-mail on Tuesday asking for a "brief synopsis" of what Attorney Jon was working on for me before his untimely passing. She wants to give this to the lawyer as part of vetting me.
The "brief synopsis" of course will not be brief. And, of course, what will naturally follow is an extended version of the synopsis which will be entitled "Epic Novel Volume 1". All this to get an appointment--which I am not guaranteed to get.
One might ask why I don't just call this lawyer guy myself? Because, believe it or not, going through Legal Eagle is faster and I have more credibility. That's how business is done in the South.
The "brief synopsis" of course will not be brief. And, of course, what will naturally follow is an extended version of the synopsis which will be entitled "Epic Novel Volume 1". All this to get an appointment--which I am not guaranteed to get.
One might ask why I don't just call this lawyer guy myself? Because, believe it or not, going through Legal Eagle is faster and I have more credibility. That's how business is done in the South.
Saturday, June 09, 2012
The Important Stuff
I am starting to make my list of things I need to do while in Birmingham. At this moment, the brunt of my schedule hinges on when Legal Eagle can get me in front of this lawyer, if Ms. Kathy is going to move out quietly (here's hoping. Still no word from her on my modest proposal) and Kirby's schedule. I heard from Kirby's third cousin's recptionist's hairdresser's babysitter that he is expecting me. But, I haven't heard it from Kirby.
I'm also planning my free time: which usually consists of dinner with Jack, avoiding arrest with Carolsue (we've come close a few times) and probably walk around a charming little park in Trussville, Alabama just to avoid staring at my hotel room walls for hours on end.
Mr. Wonderful, my newest tenant--he lives next to Mr. 114 in Alabaster--asked me to stop by if I had time and say hello. I am not sure I want to drive an additional 40 miles one way just to say hi and then have an awkward silence for the next 20 minutes trying to find some reason for me to be there. Maybe on my next trip.
To my relief, it turns out knitting needles are permitted on the airplane in my carryon bag. At least now I will have something to do on the airplane and while in Birmingham if I can't get my appointments scheduled.
I'm also planning my free time: which usually consists of dinner with Jack, avoiding arrest with Carolsue (we've come close a few times) and probably walk around a charming little park in Trussville, Alabama just to avoid staring at my hotel room walls for hours on end.
Mr. Wonderful, my newest tenant--he lives next to Mr. 114 in Alabaster--asked me to stop by if I had time and say hello. I am not sure I want to drive an additional 40 miles one way just to say hi and then have an awkward silence for the next 20 minutes trying to find some reason for me to be there. Maybe on my next trip.
To my relief, it turns out knitting needles are permitted on the airplane in my carryon bag. At least now I will have something to do on the airplane and while in Birmingham if I can't get my appointments scheduled.
Thursday, June 07, 2012
I Did It
There has been a shift in universe.
For once, Ms. Kathy actually gave me a sob story when I wasn't in the middle of dealing with six other tenants moving, the holidays, me refinancing my home and needing a good-standing lease in place or other drama that caused me to focus my energies elsewhere.
In fact, to her credit, she actually e-mailed me three days after rent was due. This was an awesome change from the months in the past where I would have to hunt her down to hear her sob stories (and shock of shock to Ms. Kathy, I already knew the rent promised wasn't showing up), let her make amends and promise to deliver.
This month's sob story was complete with a subtext that said: "Paying rent is not a priority." Her e-mail was of the friendly sort, disguising a an epic drama about how she had other bills due and her daughter is knocked up and Ms. Kathy is having to pay her bills too. All this was leading up to the anti-climatic point: could she send $50 a week for the next few weeks and then pay me a bit more next month? Of course, she quickly bypassed the part where she didn't have this month's rent. But, I figured it out.
Ms. Kathy's e-mail ended with this bit of brilliance, " I love living where I do. I really don't want to move..."
I wrote her back something equally as friendly, suggesting our relationship just wasn't a win-win at this point. And, perhaps it was time to find a place to live that wasn't as financially cumbersome as where she is now. Therefore let's plan on handing over keys on July 6, shall we? I also mentioned I was coming to town and wanted to do a walk through while I am there. So, let me know what day was going to work for her. And by the way, no hard feelings. Okay?
For once, Ms. Kathy actually gave me a sob story when I wasn't in the middle of dealing with six other tenants moving, the holidays, me refinancing my home and needing a good-standing lease in place or other drama that caused me to focus my energies elsewhere.
In fact, to her credit, she actually e-mailed me three days after rent was due. This was an awesome change from the months in the past where I would have to hunt her down to hear her sob stories (and shock of shock to Ms. Kathy, I already knew the rent promised wasn't showing up), let her make amends and promise to deliver.
This month's sob story was complete with a subtext that said: "Paying rent is not a priority." Her e-mail was of the friendly sort, disguising a an epic drama about how she had other bills due and her daughter is knocked up and Ms. Kathy is having to pay her bills too. All this was leading up to the anti-climatic point: could she send $50 a week for the next few weeks and then pay me a bit more next month? Of course, she quickly bypassed the part where she didn't have this month's rent. But, I figured it out.
Ms. Kathy's e-mail ended with this bit of brilliance, " I love living where I do. I really don't want to move..."
I wrote her back something equally as friendly, suggesting our relationship just wasn't a win-win at this point. And, perhaps it was time to find a place to live that wasn't as financially cumbersome as where she is now. Therefore let's plan on handing over keys on July 6, shall we? I also mentioned I was coming to town and wanted to do a walk through while I am there. So, let me know what day was going to work for her. And by the way, no hard feelings. Okay?
Monday, June 04, 2012
June 4
Today is June 4. Last month I had this crazy idea that I would be in Birmingham on June 4 to take care of Birmingham business.
That hasn't happened. I haven't even bought my ticket. Though, I am pleased to say, I have managed to contact Legal Eagle and Kirby and tell them I am thinking about coming to town. What would work for them?
Legal Eagle got back to me and told me if I wanted to see her, she would be at the beach. Bummer. I won't be. She also told me there is someone handling Attorney Jon's unfinished business--which hopefully includes my issue he never took care of two years ago. But, I will settle for getting it handled now. Hopefully it will be resolved. I hate having to start this over. Legal Eagle offered to set up an introduction and get the ball rolling. Bless her.
I am waiting for word Kirby will be available before I book my ticket. Then I will fill in all the ancillaries--dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack, driving by a few of my homes, etc. That's the easy stuff.
That hasn't happened. I haven't even bought my ticket. Though, I am pleased to say, I have managed to contact Legal Eagle and Kirby and tell them I am thinking about coming to town. What would work for them?
Legal Eagle got back to me and told me if I wanted to see her, she would be at the beach. Bummer. I won't be. She also told me there is someone handling Attorney Jon's unfinished business--which hopefully includes my issue he never took care of two years ago. But, I will settle for getting it handled now. Hopefully it will be resolved. I hate having to start this over. Legal Eagle offered to set up an introduction and get the ball rolling. Bless her.
I am waiting for word Kirby will be available before I book my ticket. Then I will fill in all the ancillaries--dinner with Jack and Mrs. Jack, driving by a few of my homes, etc. That's the easy stuff.
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